Forgotten Memories

by Candis Vargo

  “Do you dance?” she asked as I walked up to her.

  “I haven’t in a while, but yeah.”

  “Then drink this up and we’ll go dance,” she passed me my beer.

  “So how do you expect me to land Mr. Bartender?” I asked her as I sat down next to her and crossed my legs.

  “Easy. You go up and get the next round. Bat your long eyelashes and follow your instincts, which are good by the way. I was hoping you would find me. I’ve tried to teach some people who couldn’t find another one of us if we were standing right in front of them. You’re going to be a natural.”

  “Thanks, I guess.” I didn’t know if it was a good thing to be a natural or not. I kind of thought it made me sound like a whore but I guess in this business it wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

  “So do I get the drinks before or after we dance?” I asked. I was trying to get a feel for how to pick up guys. It was crazy how my life has changed in less than a year. I went from a forced marriage, to finding my soul mate by accident, onto a being a seductress. Thinking about that made me glad I had my beer.

  “Both!” she yelled over the music once again. “You’re getting the next two rounds. You need cash?”

  “No I have more than enough,” I said and it was true. I remembered to take cash off of one of my father’s bank cards before we left. When I thought about him I was almost ready for the second round of drinks. I grabbed my bottle and began taking gulps at a time instead of sips.

  “Take these and get us more. I’ll be here,” Tisha said. She handed me her empty bottle and I took the last drink out of mine. I grabbed both bottles and walked up to the bar.

  I felt strange when I had no problem making it to the bar through the crowd of people in front of it. The crowd mostly consisted of men who graciously separated for me to walk through. I could feel Tisha’s eyes on me the whole time. I set both bottles down on the bar and leaned over it a little to get the bartenders attention.

  Just as he did with Tisha, he came right over. “Two more please,” I said as I held up two fingers and flashed him a smile.

  “No problem,” the bartender said as he grabbed the empty bottles. As he walked away I watched him turn around to glance at me again. I started to feel better about my chances because he didn’t’ do that for Tisha. Once again he ignored every other customer there as he went to get our drinks.

  “Here you go,” he said as he set the drinks down in front of me and opened them.

  “Thanks,” I said, still smiling at him. “How much do I owe you?”

  “On the house,” he said.

  “Really, thanks.” I grabbed the bottles and walked over to the table after I flashed another smile at him. It definitely was much easier than I thought to seduce a man. Tisha was right when she said it would come easy to me because I didn’t even break a sweat.

  “Not bad,” Tisha said as I slid her beer over to her.

  We sat there for a few minutes drinking our beers and watching other people dance with them. Every so often someone would come up to us and ask us to dance. We always said no as we tried not to be too rude.

  After we finished those drinks Tisha said, “Let’s go dance.”

  We stood up and made our way over to the dance floor. I normally don’t listen to too much rap music but I was glad they were playing it. Even though I mostly listened to country, I danced the best to rap. As we were dancing there were several more guys walking up asking us to dance with them. Those who didn’t ask just tried to dance with us but we moved away.

  She shook our little asses for a long time as the lights danced across our bodies. The thumping of the bass rumbled in my chest as I danced through the fog coming out of the fog machine. The strobe lights flickered and the DJ didn’t miss a beat as he switched between songs. It was the freest I have felt since I lost the people I loved. Every time I danced I felt like the music spoke to me and guided my hips where they needed to go. It was nice to see there was another girl who could get as low to the floor as I could without missing a beat. Tisha was a damn good dancer.

  I never understood why two girls danced together like one would do with a spouse. Maybe it made them feel sexier or maybe it just gave them companionship. Either way that’s what Tisha and I did. We began grinding on one another letting the music take over. Sweat was dripping down our bodies but we were having too much fun to stop.

  If this is what being a Succubus is all about, I can handle that.

  I knew we were out here dancing away and the bartender was probably looking over at us. The rod in his pants was probably trying to stand straight up right about now.

  I looked around at the other people dancing on the floor around us. I tried as hard as I could not to laugh at some of the guys who were trying to dance with girls. I didn’t know if they came with them or if they were just trying to get a piece. Either way, the moves they were pulling weren’t going to work.

  I don’t know what makes men thinking moving their ass back and forth behind us is dancing, but it isn’t. Especially when they are off beat. I watched as the girls tried to move away and dance with each other. The guys never took the hint. We danced our asses off to a couple more songs before I needed another drink. I knew Tisha would send me over to get it so I just took it upon myself.

  “I’m going to get us another drink!” I yelled over the thumping of the speakers.

  “Okay!” she yelled back.

  I grabbed our empty bottles from our table again and did everything the exact same way as before. This time when the bartender came back with our drinks he decided to carry on small talk.

  “You’re pretty good you know that?” I assumed he was talking about the way I dance.

  “Yeah, I’m not so bad,” I said as I fluttered my eyelashes.

  “I get off in a half hour. You want to hang out?” he asked.

  “That depends,” I said. “My girlfriend over there will need someone to keep her company.” I pointed to Tisha on the dance floor.

  “If you ladies keep dancing like that I’m sure she will find some company sooner or later.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure she will,” I agreed.

  “My name is Conner,” he said abruptly.

  I began to say my name was Karma before I stopped myself. “Jade,” I said. “I’m Jade.”

  “Well Jade, it’s nice to meet you.”

  “It’s nice to meet you too, Conner.” I threw a ten down on the bar and told him to keep the change.

  I walked back out on the dance floor and gave Tisha her beer. I found it easier to dance with my beer in my hand so I didn’t have to keep running over to the table for a drink. Tisha and I danced away the next thirty minutes before Conner came over to join us. That was when Tisha decided to go off and find a fix for herself and leave Conner and I alone.

  After a few beers with Conner, it was easier than I thought it was going to be to get him. He said he needed to go to the back office and sign his paystub for the week and asked me to join. I did. I followed him into a hallway at the back of the building. He stopped once we reached the door he needed to go into and turned around. He didn’t waste any time before he began to kiss me. My back was against the door and he slowly turned the door knob. Once we were inside he locked the door behind us.

  Even with the kiss I could feel it. I could feel the fix. The force of his soul rushing into me was unlike anything I’ve felt. Conner turned me around and leaned me over a desk as he lifted up my skirt. I hated what I was about to do but I felt the need to do it. This was my first fix and I needed it unlike anything else. I closed my eyes as he pulled down my underwear and I told myself this was something I had to do. It wasn’t a lie. I did have to do it; it came with being a Succubus.

  With the high rushing through me I had no time to think about Chace. I know he probably should have been in the back of my mind, but honestly, he wasn’t. He might have been back there somewhere deep, but not where I could find him. The only thing I thought about was trying to get hig
h off of Conner. I needed his energy to run through me, even if it meant feeding off of his life.

  He didn’t waste any time before he shoved himself inside of me. As he began thrusting in and out of me I felt the rush of his soul stronger than when we kissed. I didn’t know when I would reach the peak of my fix but god this felt good. Not the sex, but the soul. Maybe it was because it was my first fix as a Succubus but it seemed like I couldn’t even feel the sex with the life being taken from him overpowering it.

  I was relieved that it didn’t take him long to have an orgasm, something I knew I had lacked. He pulled himself out of me and decided it would be okay for him to get off on my ass. I didn’t like it but I wasn’t going to protest. I wasn’t able to. As he got off, I felt the intensity of his life force hit me. The room swirled as I let in a sharp breath. It wasn’t pleasure from sex, but pleasure from doing what a Succubus does. They both felt so damn good but they were on two completely different levels. Nothing would feel like the sex I had with Chace. And nothing would feel like the soul being sucked out of a sinner and into me. God it felt good.

  Chapter 31

  It’s intense how someone’s life can change so fast in such a short amount of time. For the past six months I was living a life as a Succubus and started to accept my fate. Just like with anything someone works at, the more I did it the better I became.

  It wasn’t long after I came back from hell six months ago for things to start to fall apart all around me.

  Em decided to move in with Gram and leave the Coven behind. She had always believed in what Gram did and finally was tired of the Coven. I haven’t seen her much since that day.

  As for the Coven, well no one is really sure what happened to them. No one has heard from them or seen them since I came back. That was something I was not complaining about. I welcomed it.

  The rest of the Pixies knew there was something different about me. I couldn’t bring myself to tell them I was a Succubus. Instead I told them I lost my magic once I was out of Hell. I told them I was more like a mortal instead of a Pixie. They disowned me. You would think after everything my race…my previous race had been through, we would have stood by each other a little more. They nearly jumped for the opportunity to run.

  Roland and I have actually become pretty close. I was sure he still loved me but he knew I still loved Chace. He was one I actually told I was a Succubus. At first he was shocked but he has come to understand.

  As a Succubus you could only get so many fixes in a small town. Roland helped me sell the house and we moved closer to Cleveland, Ohio. Cleveland was one of the territories that belonged to Alachi, the demon which I now worked under. I bought a house on the outskirts of the city so I had enough land for Molly to run around. I was glad that Molly still stood by me. She was the best horse anyone could ask for.

  I bought a little two story house with plenty of land. Roland took it upon himself to build a stable not too far behind the house for Molly. I knew he did it to show me how much he appreciated being able to live with me and I respected him for that.

  We lived in a little green house with red shutters. What I liked most about it was the long driveway that led up to it. There was a line of trees on both sides of the driveway that also hid my house. I did the best I could to make it home to me because I knew I could never go back to Maryland. Roland also helped me set everything up for sale at the old house and donate what I wouldn’t sell. I only kept a few things from that house because my memories were enough to haunt me without the added reminders every day.

  I decided I would train horses when I could to try and keep up appearances. Someone was bound to wonder what I did to afford my house. Roland took a job working as security for a local club that hosted a lot of upcoming bands. They only played at nights so it worked out perfect for him.

  We decided to spend some time trying to see if what Laurence said was true. He needed to know if his soul was actually wandering around somewhere looking for its body. It kind of sounded a little far-fetched but was worth a shot. He was also more than willing to help me find a way to try and get Chace back. I wasn’t sure I wanted that. Chace was finally an Angel again. That was something he wanted and Kemonte said Chace wouldn’t remember me anyway. I figured I would help Roland for now and maybe by the time we’re done and find whatever it is we need to find, I’ll have figured out what I wanted to do.

  “Are you coming tonight?” Roland asked me as he was getting ready for work.

  “Yeah I’ll be there. Any band called A Punch’s Wrath is worth going to see.” One of the perks at Roland’s job was the free admission tickets he would get. He always made sure to get one for me. He knew it was the perfect hunting ground that I needed. It seemed like every concert I would get a fix. Roland was glad to finally be able to do the one thing he always wanted to do. I couldn’t say the same for me. He still held on to the promise that he would take me to see underground cities but I knew I wouldn’t be able to go any time soon. Even working as a Succubus you could earn vacation. Now I just had to wait until I hit a high enough quota to earn mine.

  “Great. Are you going to need…need to work tonight?” he asked.

  “Yeah, I haven’t had one in almost a week.”

  “Okay, well I won’t wait up for you then. See you there.” He got into his Toyota truck and took off. I didn’t know what he thought about me having to have sex to survive. I knew he didn’t think any less of me, I thought maybe he just hated the thought of it.

  I really didn’t have a need to buy clothes anymore. Whatever I wanted to wear I could just make it appear. That’s what I did tonight. I had straight leg jeans and a blue ruffled tank top on. It took me a while to find what kind of shoes I wanted to wear but when I found them they were perfect. I had a pair of black high heel boots that went up to my calf. They looked great with the straight leg jeans. It was cold outside so I also had to make a tan jacket to go with my outfit.

  I didn’t want to go out as Karma so I put on my body of Jade and changed my hair to black. After I was ready I sat in my Dodge Nitro and headed to the club. Even if you could make everything appear on you it still took a long time to get ready. After all, I was still a woman.

  “There’s my lady now,” Roland said as I walked up to the doors at the club. He wrapped one arm around my neck as he said, “I was wondering when you would get here. We were just talking about you. Jade this is Nick Manning. Nick was just telling me about the fascination things he’s done in his life. He’s a genuine good soul if you know what I’m saying.” Roland gave me a knowing look out of the corner of his eyes.

  Roland liked to try and help me find the best fixes he could. He knew the better the soul the longer my fixed would last. I could have let it bother me but instead I welcomed it. The faster I could get it over with was the faster I could try to forget about it.

  “Hi Nick. You want to get a drink or something?” I asked as I gestured into the club.

  “Yeah, thanks,” Nick said.

  I knew it wouldn’t be hard to get what I needed from Nick, even if he didn’t have a few drinks in him. He seemed like he was longing for something that he knew he couldn’t had and he wanted something, anything to take his mind off of it. He was talking to me as though we were best friends our whole lives and like I needed to know every detail about him. I really didn’t care to hear life stories of my victims, I was bored and I was ready to get things moving.

  “So, you want to go somewhere?” I asked as I leaned closer to him.

  “Yeah,” he said as he looked at his cell phone for the time. “Where do you want to go? I don’t have much time. I need to see my brother before visiting hours are up.”

  I wondered what he was talking about. “Vising hours for what?” I asked.

  “My brother is in the hospital. There’s only a little over an hour left for me to see him.” Of course he wanted to tell me every detail, just like he did with everything else about his life. “He has bone cancer. The doc’s say they’re no
t sure how long he has left. They tried everything they could but he isn’t responding to anything. They try to keep him as doped up as possible because I guess bone cancer causes a hell of a lot of pain. I try to see him every day because we don’t know when it’ll be the last,” he said as he ran his fingers over the top of his beer bottle.

  “Painful? How painful? I volunteer at the hospital and I have seen some patients go through some tough shit. I hope they’re giving him something good.” A wave of guilt passed through me. I have donated a lot of money to several funds for different diseases and I always wished I could give to them another way. I guess it was me trying to balance out my good with my bad.

  “Yeah they’ve been giving him morphine through his IV. He’s been getting it the past two days around the clock and it’s still not working for all of the pain.”

  From volunteering in the hospital I have learned a lot of things. I knew that they liked to give morphine in high does for one of two things. Either the pain was either too severe for anyone to possibly handle or he was about to die. I hated the thought of it but I knew it was better to make the passing as easy as possible on the people who suffered.

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” That was all I could manage to say. I suddenly didn’t feel like getting my fix tonight. If Nick was going to put off seeing his brother to get laid his soul wasn’t worth it to me, even if it was to make time pass for him. Family is everything. He should be trying to find a way to help his brother pass as easily as he could, not at a club trying to fuck me.

  “Will you excuse me?” I said as I stood up from the table. I needed to get out of there. Before I could I needed to find Roland and tell him I was leaving. If Nick asked him where I went I wanted Roland to come up with some sort of excuse for me.