Shiftr: Swipe Left For Love (Nash) BBW Wolf Shifter Romance (Hope Valley BBW Dating App Romance Book 10)

by Ariana Hawkes

  “Don’t try to stop me!”

  She scrambled up the bank, which had become slippery after the day’s snowfall, then ran the rest of the way. The big top was completely dark, looking sad and forlorn beneath the icy sky. There were a couple of lights at the trailer windows, and the orange glow of a bonfire at the opposite side of the site. She ran to Sawyer’s trailer first. He wasn’t there. Then she went over to the bonfire. He was sitting beside Melina, with several of the others gathered around.

  “What’s happened? I thought you were all rehearsing tonight,” she blurted out breathlessly.

  Sawyer got to his feet and hugged her briefly. She sensed a dullness in the way he carried himself. He didn’t have his usual energy. He pulled up a chair beside him and she sat down.

  “We’ve decided to leave, Harlow. We don’t want to be where we’re not wanted. We’re all proud of being part of the circus. And everyone was so excited for our new show.”

  “But – you can’t leave because of the town. People from other towns in the region will buy tickets, right?” He shook his head.

  “That’s not the only thing. It’s my job to protect the clan and it doesn’t feel safe here. None of us slept last night for fear the big top was going to get burned down. You know how long it takes to sew all the canvas for the big top together?” She gazed at him wordlessly, barely able to contain her anger at the people of Windy Hollow.

  “But where will you go?” she said at last.

  “Good question, girlie,” Melina said. “This late in the season, we’re screwed.” Sawyer shot her a look of annoyance.

  “Don’t have a go at Harlow. It’s not her fault that any of this has happened,” Sawyer said, his voice hardening. Melina hissed, then curled up in her seat, like a cat that’d lost interest in the situation. Harlow leaned back in her chair, waiting until people started to talk amongst themselves again.

  “We’ve been trying to get a new booking all day.” He sat closer to Harlow. “There’s a place over on the west coast that’s going to confirm with us tomorrow morning.”

  “But that’s hundreds – maybe thousands – of miles away.”

  “I know. But we don’t have much choice. It’s very late in the season. I’m also under a lot of pressure, because things haven’t been going very well for us financially. But the safety of my clan is my first priority.”

  “I’m so sorry you have to leave,” she said to Sawyer quietly. He took her hand.

  “Me too. For several reasons.” He kept his eyes on hers.

  “I put another tree up in the square. With lights. Rebecca and I put it up at lunchtime, and it was still there when I came here. Sawyer, I think they’re over their violence. I wouldn’t have come back with them last night if I didn’t think they’d keep their word.” He sighed.

  “Even if that’s the case, staying like this isn’t fair on my clan. And besides –” He trailed off.

  “You’re scared of finding out that you really may be related to someone from this town? I know. I get it and I don’t blame you. You know how many times I’ve wished that I lived somewhere completely different, with a big, happy family?”

  “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “You deserve the best family in the world, Harlow.” He’d been playing with her fingers, and now he raised them to his lips. “Stay with me tonight?” She pressed her lips together. Her heart ached. She’d assumed Sawyer was a player, and that he hooked up with a new girl in every town. But things had gotten so intense in the last day, and she’d hoped that they’d at least have a couple more weeks together. But after tomorrow, that would be it. She’d never see him again. Mating again, sleeping together was just going to prolong the agony.

  “I should go,” she said. She stood up, said goodbye to the others, and left quickly, not wanting to catch a final glimpse of him. She strode across the field and headed down the bank. Half way down, she skidded and fell hard, knocking the breath out of herself. And then she burst into tears. She cried for her stupid people, for the circus, and for losing Sawyer, making no effort to stifle her sobs since she was completely alone.

  But then, in the midst of her tears, there was a voice.

  “Harlow? Did you hurt yourself?” Sawyer sprung down the bank and crouched at her feet. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve.

  “No. I – I slipped, and then I was – a little overwhelmed, that’s all.” He stroked her head tenderly.

  “Come on, I’ll take you back to the trailer. Give you some whisky. It makes everything better.” She laughed through her sniffles.

  “Okay then,” she heard herself saying, against her better judgment.

  “Let me help you.” He scooped her up and carried her to the top of the bank. “Need a piggy back?” She shook her head, a smile tugging at her lips. “Or how about a caveman’s lift?” Before she had time to answer, he threw her over his shoulder and started jogging all the way back to his trailer. She was laughing by the time he brought her inside and dumped her unceremoniously on the bed. Then he lifted her more gently and held her in his arms.

  “I know we don’t have much time together. But being in the circus, living a life always on the move, has taught me that you have to value every single moment.” He stroked her cheeks, the line of her jaw, with light fingertips. He’s right, she thought, and she laced her hands around his neck and kissed him hard.

  Moments later, their clothes were scattered, and his big, powerful body was arched over her.

  “I want to remember every single thing,” he murmured, crushing his mouth against hers. Then he peppered her neck with a trail of delicious, biting kisses that made her wriggle and moan in delight. When his head dipped lower and his teeth grazed her nipples, she cried out and her hips bucked, desperate for him to be inside her. He took his time once again, building her arousal as skillfully as a musician playing a well-loved instrument, until she was on the point of begging him to mate her. Her bear panted for him. Her bear that until now, she’d been no more aware of than her tonsils, was suddenly coming to life, awoken by the careful ministrations of this sexy bear-man.

  This time he didn’t allow her to come, but teased her, keeping her right on the brink, until he spread her thighs wider and entered her. And as he thrust all the way in, the base of his cock butting up against her clit, she exploded, a climax detonating all through her body like a meteor shower. He let off a roar as her muscles spasmed around him, and he began to take her hard and fast, his insistent rhythm tipping her into one orgasm after another. By the time he came, holding her tight, his velvety skin slick with perspiration, she was like a ragdoll; totally sated by him.

  8

  Harlow awoke to the smell of freshly brewed coffee. She felt warm and snuggly, and Sawyer’s scent surrounded her. She opened her eyes to be greeted by the sight of an incredibly gorgeous, tattooed man walking toward her, holding two cups of coffee.

  “Morning, beautiful. I put some cold water in so it’s ready to drink.” He handed her the coffee and climbed in beside her. She sighed as his silky skin brushed up against her own.

  “I could get used to this,” she said.

  “Slow mornings, exciting nights. What’s not to love?” She gazed up at him. At that moment, she would have offered to leave her life behind and follow him. But he wasn’t asking her. He dipped his head and kissed her, the taste of coffee mingling in their mouths.

  There was a knock on the door and the chef brought his breakfast.

  “Could you whip up another portion for the lady?” he asked the skittish rabbit shifter.

  “Only because it’s you who’s asking,” she said and skipped off. Women absolutely love him, Harlow thought. Who am I to tie him down anyway?

  When they’d eaten, she got up to leave, and he held her against his body for a long time, not speaking. All she was aware of was the slow, steady beat of his heart in his massive chest, and how incredible it felt to be held by him.

  They said goodbye and good luck to each other quickly, and she ran acro
ss the camp ground, back to the town for the last time. It was past sunrise, but the sky was iron gray and the cloud cover seemed to press down on the earth. When she was half way back, it began to snow, and by the time she hit Windy Hollow it had turned to hail, whipped up by the wind, drenching her face and hair. She was barely aware that her tears were adding to the mix. She felt empty. Like a gift box that had briefly held something precious.

  She burst through her front door, shaking like a wet dog. Her father was sitting at the dining table, his head in his hands. She frowned. He should be at work by now.

  “Dad?” He lifted his head, and she was shocked to see that his cheeks were wet with tears. No-one cried in Windy Hollow, least of all her gruff, embittered father. “What’s wrong?”

  “Harlow, you’re all I’ve got. And I’m losing you.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, dad,” she replied, unable to keep the flicker of impatience out of her voice. But then she paused as a plan began to take shape in her mind. “Right now. But if you don’t tell me the truth, I’m going to run away with the circus.”

  “Harlow, don’t go. You can’t.”

  “Tell me the truth, dad. The whole truth. What did the circus do last time they were here? How did you recognize Sawyer? Tell me the whole thing.”

  “We’re not allowed to speak of it.”

  “Then I’m leaving. Right now. You’ll never see me again.”

  “No! –” He started to get up. She glowered at him from the kitchen. She was so mad right now that she’d do it. Invited or not, she’d run all the way back to Sawyer and beg him to take her with him.

  Her father’s mouth worked and he stuttered. Striding over to him, she sat down on the chair opposite.

  “From the beginning, dad.” She took his hands and squeezed them. “You can do it.” A distant look came into his eyes, and he began to speak.

  “The last time I saw Sawyer, as you call him, he was five years old and named Sam. He was the child of a couple in the town. In those days, the town was called Mistletoe Hollow and it was a happy place. But his father was a very angry and unstable man. He was convinced that everyone was out to get him, and that evil spirits lurked around every corner. One day the circus came to town – the very same circus that’s here now. The townspeople and the circus got on well together, and spent a lot of time in each other’s company. And on the last night of the performance, there was a big party. At some point, Sam’s father gave the child to the circus.

  “On the next morning, Sam was missing. No-one knew where he was and everyone was in a panic. It turned out his father gave him to the circus after everyone had gone to bed the night before. He couldn’t explain why, he just said that the child had the devil in him and he had to get rid of it. Of course everyone knew that wasn’t true – Sam was a great kid, and everyone loved him. We wanted to get him back, but the circus was long gone. Sam’s momma was devastated and over time she went mad with grief. She was blaming her husband and he started beating on her. One day he had hurt her so bad, she spent three days in the hospital. The townspeople couldn’t take it anymore and lynched Sam’s father. After that, everything changed in Mistletoe Hollow. People lost the ability to shift, crops wouldn’t grow, everyone started getting sick, and the wind started up; the wind that hasn’t dropped to this day. The matriarch spoke to the Oracle of the town, who told her that it was her fault that she hadn’t prevented the lynching, and it had turned her town rotten. As you can imagine, she was full of guilt for what she’d done, and she fled the town. Since then, she’s lived in exile and has never been seen again. And forever after, the town has been paralyzed. All of us living under a black cloud. Worried that if anything changes, it’ll make things worse again.”

  Harlow suddenly realized that she’d been gripping her father’s hands so hard that his knuckles were cracking. She let go of him, breathing hard through her nostrils.

  “Dad, is Sawyer my brother?” she said, speaking very deliberately.

  “No.” He blinked hard. “Of course not. Did you not hear my story? He’s no relation. Everything was just like I told you. His father was insane and we think he hid Sam in one of the trailers, so the circus people didn’t find him until later.”

  “I have to tell Sawyer,” she said, getting up. “Actually, you have to tell Sawyer. He deserves to hear it from you.”

  “There’s a blizzard out there.”

  “That’s why you’re going to drive me.” She opened the door, the wind immediately snatching it out of her grasp. And then she walked smack bang into Sawyer. She gasped. His hair and coat were drenched.

  “Sawyer! What are you doing here?”

  “I came to give you these.” He lifted two large canvas bags. “Just some lights and candles. I figured you could use them in the town.”

  “Sam?” her father said softly. Sawyer’s face froze and all the color drained out of it.

  Harlow reached out and encircled his wrist with her hand.

  “We were coming to see you. Dad has something to tell you. You should sit down.” She guided him to one of the chairs. Ed told him everything from the beginning.

  “I’m so sorry about your father,” he concluded. “But to be honest, he was way beyond being helped. Any clan would have put him down for his own good.” Sawyer nodded slowly, his eyes shining with emotion.

  “I always wondered about my parents – I mean, my circus parents who brought me up until I was ten, when they died in an accident. They never told me what exactly happened, and now I know why – they were trying to protect me. They were very kind and loving people.”

  “Your parents must have been very proud of you. You’ve turned into a fine young man,” Ed said.

  “It’s so hard to process everything.” Sawyer pushed his hair back from his forehead. “But what about my mother – the woman who gave birth to me?” Harlow’s father gave a small smile.

  “She’s still alive. And living here in Windy Hollow.” Sawyer’s eyes opened wide.

  “Can I go see her?”

  “I think it’s time, son. Let’s go.”

  The snow had eased off and the wind was less savage as they stepped outside. Harlow’s father began walking purposefully across the square. His posture was different from normal, Harlow noticed distractedly. Gone was the stoop and shuffle. His shoulders were back and his chin up. They passed into some narrow backstreets, and she could hardly breathe, scared and impatient to find out where he was taking them. She knew the people in all of these houses. It could’ve been almost any one of them.

  At last, he came to Carly’s house. He walked through the scrappy front garden and rapped on the door. Carly opened it, her expression of surprise turning to outright hostility as she caught sight of Sawyer.

  “What’s he doing –” she began. Harlow’s father held his hand up.

  “Carly, my dear. Don’t say anything that you might live to regret later,” he said in a new, authoritative tone. “Go get your mother. It’s important.”

  A moment later, her mom appeared. She was an attractive woman, but her face was always tense with strain, and her mouth turned down at the corners. She had prematurely gray hair, tied back carelessly in a bun, and blue eyes, that seemed to have lost their luster long ago.

  “Cynthia, I have someone I’d like you to meet.” Harlow’s dad laid a hand on Sawyer’s back and pushed him forward. Cynthia blinked several times, and then her eyes got very wide.

  “S-Sam?” she stammered. Sawyer’s expression was beautiful to see. Harlow watched as it transformed from curiosity, to disbelief, to recognition.

  “Mom!” he said. Cynthia leapt out of the door and flung herself into his arms.

  “You’ve come back!”

  I’ve been looking for you all my life,” he whispered. Cynthia reached up and stroked his jaw. “My boy. I thought I’d never see you again! I can’t believe it.” Then she hugged him again, like she never wanted to let him go.

  “Mom,” he whispered, over and over. “I
was too young to have a clear memory of you when I left, but now it’s all coming back to me. I remember your scent. How you used to hold me.” as they drew apart, both pairs of eyes were full of tears, and Harlow discovered that her own eyes had teared up too.

  “My handsome, strong son. Look at you, all grown. You can shift, yes?” He laughed.

  “Yup. I’m the ringmaster of the circus, and sometimes I entertain the audience as a big brown bear.”

  “I’d love to see you performing! When I saw the circus was in town, so many thoughts ran through my mind, but I never dared hope that it was the Wonderland Circus and that you’d still be with them.”

  “I don’t understand –” an angry voice interrupted. Cynthia drew back.

  “Carly, this is your brother, Sam – or, what do they call you now?”

  “Sawyer,” he said. Carly scowled.

  “What do you mean he’s my brother?”

  “When you were young, your father was a very sick man, and he gave Sawyer away to the circus. He thought that there was darkness in Sawyer, but actually it was his own darkness he was seeing. But he was so obsessed with it that I feared for Sawyer’s safety. I was devastated to lose my boy, but at least I knew he’d be loved and protected by the circus. They were good people,” Cynthia said.

  “I never knew why I’d been given away,” Sawyer cut in. “And I could never get anyone to tell me where I was from. I’ve been looking for my birth family ever since I took over managing the circus.” Carly glared from her mom to Sawyer, shaking her head in incomprehension.

  “Why did you all keep this from me.” Cynthia sighed.

  “A long time ago, it was decided by the whole town that we’d never speak of the past. Your father was a very sick man, and everything that happened at that time was very tragic. But now you’re back, Sawyer!”

  “Carly, it’s great to meet you. I never knew I had a sister, and seeing you here is the best feeling you can imagine. Can I have a hug?” He stretched out his arms, but Carly backed away and stood behind Cynthia.