Let Me In

by Alison Keane

  He shakes his head. “Not initially. I did everything I could to spread them, though.” He grins and a chill runs down my spine. I’ve never seen anyone so unaffected by the pain they’ve caused to others.

  “Why would you do that?”

  “You were being a fool, Ellie. You’d moped around for a month or two, calling in sick and coming in stinking of wine. Then he came back and smiled at you and you were going to welcome him back with open arms. He treated you like shit!”

  “No… I…” I shake my head, trying to get my thoughts in order. “What did it matter how he treated me? It was nothing to you.”

  “I never meant to hurt you, Ellie.” He strokes my face.

  I recoil. “Get your hands off me.”

  “Oh don’t worry,” he spits. “I’ve wised up. Even when you had no-one you wouldn’t even look at me. You wouldn’t even open up to me last week when all that family stuff blew up.”

  “You’re my manager! I was trying to be professional.”

  “So professional.” He snorts bitterly. “Coming in late after staying out all night and getting pissed with that idiot. What’s he got that I don’t? He’s a fucking loser. You’d seriously rather scrape the bottom of the barrel than look at me? You’re as unstable as everyone says.”

  I stare at him in disbelief. “I’m not unstable. The only reason people think that is because of what you’ve done. You’re a psychopath.”

  I’m filled with regrets. If only I hadn’t been so cautious. If only I’d gone back to Nathan’s house to try and search the place. He wasn’t the real danger at all. If anything, he might have helped me.

  Jason slaps me across the face and my whole head erupts in pain. I feel like a broken toy, thrown aside. I can’t stay here like this. I’ve got to get myself away.

  But how?

  Jason moves out of my line of sight. I hear him clattering around in the kitchen.

  I test each of my arms and legs and then my fingers and toes, tightening the muscles and moving them just an inch to see if anything is broken. My right elbow is the worst—there’s a sharp pain every time I try to move it. My legs feel fine. It’s my head I’m worried about, but I’ve felt it with my hands and there doesn’t seem to be any blood.

  Jason is still moving around in the kitchen, opening and closing cupboard doors. My blood runs cold. The searches he mentioned earlier. He’s going to poison me, isn’t he? All this was sparked off because he thought I was starting to remember what happened to me and Mikey.

  “I put myself out there,” he mutters, when he comes back over to me. “I was the only one who didn’t turn away from you after all this happened.”

  I can’t take my eyes off the glass in his hand. “What is that?”

  He crouches down in front of me and holds it out. “Drink it.”

  “What’s in it?” I ask, slowly moving forward to look at the glass. Really I’m trying to move into a better position without making him suspicious.

  He waves it in front of me. “Just orange juice.”

  I shake my head as I curl myself into a ball, with my arms around my knees. “The police are going to know I didn’t poison myself when they find slap marks across my face.”

  He flushes with anger. “Not if I burn the place down around you.”

  All the blood rushes to my head. I don’t doubt for a moment that he’d do it. He’s crazy. His pupils are dilated. I’ve never seen him like this. I’ve never seen anyone like this.

  There’s no point in trying to reason with him, but I’m starting to doubt my plan. Can I really spring up and get out of here without him stopping me?

  What choice do I have?

  I hold my left hand out.

  My heart leaps as he hands me the glass.

  I take it from him, fingers clasping the bottom of it.

  He watches.

  I raise it to my lips.

  His eyes move to mine. They’re empty: completely devoid of emotion. Why have I never noticed before?

  A surge of adrenaline shoots through me as I flick my wrist. Juice sloshes everywhere as I throw all my weight forward and ram the glass into his face. I’ve not been at the gym in months but the strength comes from some instinctive place inside me. I hurtle forward as he loses balance and falls to the ground.

  I run screaming to the door that leads to the hallway. My heart is pounding and I’m gasping for breath. I scramble along the dark hallway, slipping on the lino but there’s no time to put on shoes.

  I collide with the front door and scramble to unlock it. I throw it open, but I’m shoved into the corner before I can get out.

  “You stupid bitch!” Jason screams.

  I buck against him but I can’t move. He’s pinning me against the wall. His hands close around my neck. I try to scream but no sound comes out.

  I claw desperately against the door, so close to getting away.

  “No,” I cough. “How will this look like an accident?”

  I try to kick backwards, but I can’t reach him and it only hurts my back from where I fell earlier.

  He’s too strong. No matter how hard I try, I can’t get him off me. With the restricted air flowing to my brain, I’m getting weaker and weaker. My vision is starting to blur around the edges and it’s just a matter of time before I lose consciousness.

  No.

  I can’t.

  It feels cold all of a sudden and there’s noise, but I’m too far gone now. Everything is far away. I feel like I’m drifting further and further by the second.

  46

  Ellie

  The first thing I’m aware of is the pain in my throat. Then the confusion hits. It’s quiet. I try to open my eyes. They’re sore and swollen, but they open a crack. It’s bright.

  I gasp in a breath.

  My heart sinks. For a moment I thought I must be in hospital.

  I’m not.

  I’m lying in the hallway of the flat.

  Panicking, I try to roll onto my side to get up, but my whole body erupts in pain. What happened? Did he knock me out and leave me here? I can’t hear anything.

  “Ellie, don’t move.”

  I freeze. “Who’s that?” It’s not Nathan and it’s not Jason—who else is involved in this?

  A moment later, the man who says he’s my father comes into view.

  “Ellie,” he says, taking my hand. “Are you alright?”

  I nod. “I think so.” My voice is a sharp rasp that hurts my throat. I stare up at him. “You said you were my father.”

  He grimaces. “We don’t have time to talk about that now. Plenty of time later. The police are on their way.”

  I try to sit up. “No, what? They can’t come. They’re going to think I did this.”

  “Don’t move. It’s going to be okay.”

  “It’s not,” I hiss. “He’s set up this whole thing. He’s framing me for Steph’s murder and for hurting Mikey. He was trying to poison me.”

  “Calm down,” Tony whispers. “He’s not going anywhere. When the police get here I’ll tell them what happened. When they see the bloody state of you they’ll work it out for themselves.”

  I gasp in a breath. “They didn’t the last time. He’s sneaky.” This time I manage to sit up. I’ve got to see for myself. “Where is he? Are you sure you’ve got him?”

  Tony kneels down beside me. “You’re as stubborn as your mother,” he says, brushing my hair from my face. “But I’ve got him. I was tempted to smash that stupid face of his, but that wouldn’t do you any good, would it?”

  I stare up at him. I don’t say anything for a moment as I imagine someone finally giving Jason what he deserves. I shake my head as much as I can without it hurting. “He’ll lie to them.”

  I close my eyes and play back the past year in my mind. Why did I just sit back and accept that Mikey had turned everyone against me? Why didn’t I go knock on their doors and insist that they tell me why they’d cut me off? If I had—if I’d persisted—maybe I’d have gotten to
the truth a lot sooner and saved Steph’s life in the process.

  “Hey,” he says, squeezing my shoulder. “Don’t blame yourself for this.”

  I take a deep breath. He’s right. It’s time I finally stopped beating myself up for everything that’s happened. “I want to see him,” I say.

  I need to be sure. It’s going to be a long time before I accept someone else’s word as the truth again.

  “You should stay here until the ambulance comes,” Tony says.

  But I insist. He helps me to my feet and supports me as we move into the living room. I gasp when I see Jason lying bruised and bloodied on the floor with his own hoodie and jeans used to restrain his arms and legs. He’s glaring at me and there’s something so unnerving about those eyes.

  “You shouldn’t…” Tony starts to say. He glances at me and stops.

  “Why?” I ask Jason. “Why would you do this?”

  He just smiles at me and it’s the most chilling smile I’ve ever seen.

  A shudder of dread contorts my whole body. It’s his word against mine, isn’t it? It doesn’t matter if he’s tied up now: he’s still a danger to me.

  I turn to Tony. “He’ll twist it. He’ll lie to them. I have no evidence.” I close my eyes. What I need to ask him is not something I’ve ever asked anyone. “Can’t you…”

  Tony holds his finger to his lips. A warning. “We do this right.”

  “No, but…”

  “Just trust me,” he murmurs.

  “He’ll talk his way out of it. He’ll twist it.”

  Tony shakes his head. “He won’t. Not this time.”

  I tune in to the sound of sirens approaching and everything around me goes blurry again. I try to fight it; I need to make Tony understand, but I can’t get the words out.

  47

  Ellie

  Monday

  The next time I wake, it’s in a hospital bed. I stare at the ceiling as I get my bearings. There are people here: I can see them in my peripheral vision.

  There’s movement. My heart flips: my first thought is Jason has somehow managed to wriggle out of this and convince everyone I’m the unhinged one. I move my arms. They’re not restrained to the bed.

  Tony appears beside me. “You’re awake. Let’s prop you up so you can see.” He pulls me forward and shoves two pillows behind me. “I took these from an empty room,” he says, with pride in his eyes. “I thought you’d want to see what was happening once you woke up.”

  “Careful,” says a disapproving voice.

  “Dad?” I cough. I’d forgotten about the pain in my throat. It’s eased, but it still hurts to talk. I look at Tony. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I can’t think of him as—”

  “It’s alright,” he mutters, squeezing my hand. “Why don’t I fetch you a coffee. A proper one. You two have a lot to talk about.”

  I smile and nod as I try to hold back tears. This couldn’t be more different to the last time I woke up in hospital, alone and afraid, with no memory of how I got there.

  Dad steps closer as soon as Tony’s left the room. “DS Hobson told me to call him the minute you woke. I should go and do that. But first.” He clears his throat and the colour slowly drains from his face. “I’m so sorry, Ellie. I let you down. I should never have…” his lips twitch. “I was trying to protect you, but all I did was put you at risk.”

  I shake my head. Even though I’ve been so angry with him all week, I can’t bear to see him like this. “I don’t want you to feel bad. I just… please just tell me the truth. What happened? Who are you really?”

  He sighs. “You’re Ellie Kent. I’m John Miller.” He shakes his head. “It’s been a very long time since I’ve said that name.”

  “And my mother?”

  A sad look crosses his eyes. “My sister. Joy Kent. Her name was Josephine but I can’t remember her ever being called that by anyone.”

  “You’re my uncle.”

  He nods. “I am.”

  My back is starting to ache so I try to shift into a more comfortable position. Dad jumps to his feet to try and help but I wave him away. I’m fine, really. Physically anyway, apart from some bruises and soreness. “Why…” I shake my head. I don’t even know what I want to ask. I’ve spent hours trying to make sense of it. “Why…”

  He holds up a hand. “I’ll tell you everything, Ellie. Just rest. Don’t strain yourself. I know you must have a lot questions.” He rubs his cheek and I can tell this is hard for him—he’s used to keeping secrets. “Joy was a good name for your mother. She was such a happy child. We were close even though I was five years older. I adored her from the moment she came home from the hospital.” He bows his head. “Things changed when she was eighteen or nineteen. She got in with a bad crowd. It was just me and her by then. We… I tried to do my best for her, but she was stubborn. She thought I was sticking my oar in when I was only trying to look out for her.”

  “She moved into a flat and I started seeing less of her. I was busy setting up my first company so I probably didn’t put as much effort in as I should have. I can’t tell you how much I regret that now, but I was still young. I didn’t realise…” he sighs heavily. “She came over one Sunday and announced she’d gotten married. Just like that.” He frowns and looks at me. “Ellie, I don’t want to speak badly of your real father, but there’s no love lost between the two of us—even now. He wasn’t good for her. He was well known around where we lived as a waster. A good-for-nothing. I tried to warn her, but she wouldn’t listen. Well, they got involved in drugs.” He closes his eyes. “Sometimes she’d come and stay with me if they were having… a rough patch. I thought things had turned a corner just before you were born. She had enough. She came to live with me. I was proud of her. I thought she’d knocked the addiction on the head.”

  “She stayed clean for a long time. Until you were well over a year old. Then I suppose she got antsy. I was working all the hours I could. She was at home with you and…” he shakes his head. “I’m sorry if this is hard for you to take, but I don’t want to spin the truth even slightly.”

  I nod. “Go on.”

  “Tony had been begging her to come back to him. She resisted for a while, but the pull was too strong. She was seeing him again. This time it was different. I warned her. She had you to think of. But she was still so young. She just wanted to have fun. I should have been stricter now I think back on it, but what could I have done? Lock her in the house? There was one night when she was particularly antsy. I managed to convince her to stay in. I was so pleased. I popped out to get a takeaway and when I got back she was gone.”

  I stare at him. “What? She left me on my own?”

  The edges of his mouth turn down. “She knew I wouldn’t be gone long. That was the last time I saw her. And I…” He closes his eyes. “If I’d known, I wouldn’t have lost my temper at her. I was just so angry that she wanted to leave you. She couldn’t help it, of course, it was the addiction that controlled her. She’d fought it for so long, but in the end she couldn’t resist the pull of it.”

  “Who poisoned her then? I thought…”

  He takes my hand and squeezes it. “I’m so sorry, love. I thought I was protecting you. I should have just told you. She poisoned herself. Not even a week later. It was an overdose. Heroin.”

  “But her death certificate says…”

  “I know what it says. I called in a favour. I didn’t want you growing up with the stigma of it. It’s true. She was poisoned. She just administered it herself.” He sighs and shakes his head.

  I stare at him. It seems like a silly thing to fixate on now, but I can’t help it. “She wasn’t an actress.”

  He laughs sadly. “I never expected you to remember that. I can’t even remember saying it. When you were very small I’d make up stories to calm you when you were crying for her. She was always a princess or an actress or a famous singer.”

  We sit in silence for a while as I try to remember. There are so many things I need to ask
him, but my mind has gone blank.

  “We have all the time in the world, Ellie. You should rest.”

  I shake my head. “No. I need to know. All of it.” I take a breath. “Why did you change our names? What was the point in that?”

  “People talked. They knew what she was. And I was worried about you. I thought Tony’s mother might try to get custody of you and I couldn’t…” he rubs his face. “I know it might sound heartless now, but that whole family was plagued by addiction. I’d lost your mother. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you too.”

  I think about the search results that came up for Eleanor Kent when I was trying to figure everything out a few days ago. “Did no-one come looking for me? There was no missing person report from that time.”

  He squeezes my hand. “Not long after we left, Tony was arrested for killing the dealer who supplied those drugs to your mother. He was in prison for a very long time. I suppose in the chaos, his family were distracted.” He raises his eyebrows. “But he did track us down, didn’t he? It’s very strange—it was something I dreaded for years, but if hadn’t gone to your flat last night…”

  I shudder. I don’t want to think about what would have happened if Tony hadn’t turned up when he did.

  “We mustn’t think about that now. You’re safe. That’s the only thing that matters.”

  I look up at him. He seems remarkably composed. “I’m sorry about what happened to Steph.”

  “Ellie, we weren’t involved. DS Hobson called to say you thought we were in a relationship.”

  “But I found that document in your house,” I say. “Signing the company over to her.”

  The atmosphere in the room changes. Dad’s eyes flicker away from me. My heart starts to speed up.

  “What? What is it?”

  He sighs. “I sold the company to her father, Ellie. The Stephanie Price Trust. I should have known he’d put her in charge when I saw the name of the company, but I didn’t give it too much thought at the time. I was just glad to have a buyer who wanted everything finalised as quickly as I did.”