Seeking His Love

by Carrie Turansky

  He leaned on the porch railing and bowed his head. Father, please help Rachel think this through and make the right choice. Help her forgive her father. Show me what I ought to do. And if there’s any way You can get a message to my dad, would You tell him I’m sorry, and that I love him?

  Chapter Seventeen

  Rachel wearily rubbed her forehead and trudged up the aisle of the auditorium. The headache that had been building all morning began pounding out a painful rhythm in the back of her head.

  The kids had an unbelievable amount of energy for a Monday morning. Their antics during the last three hours had stolen her last ounce of patience. Thankfully, most of the younger ones were heading home, and she would only have to deal with a dozen or so cast members at the afternoon rehearsal.

  It didn’t help that’s she’d barely slept last night. Between her troubled thoughts about contacting her father, and her regret over lashing out at Cam, she felt like a wet washcloth being twisted and wrung out to dry.

  She pushed open the door to the auditorium and glanced down the hall toward Cam’s frame shop. His door stood open and a warm light glowed within. She ought to walk down there and apologize, but she couldn’t face him right now. Maybe after lunch she’d work up the courage.

  But what would she say? The first thing he’d ask was, had she contacted her father. When she said no, he’d be disappointed in her all over again.

  She turned away and walked into her office. Dropping her clipboard on her desk, she deflated into her chair. What a mess! Closing her eyes, she laid her head back and tried to relax the tight muscles in her neck. The sound of heels clicking on the tile floor reached her. She lifted her head and look toward the door.

  Melanie strode in carrying a file folder. “I need to speak to you.” Her voice grated on Rachel’s nerves like fingernails clawing down a chalkboard.

  Rachel winced. “I have a killer headache. Can it wait ’til later?”

  Melanie’s jaw jutted forward. “No. It can’t.”

  “Look, I’m sorry the kids were rowdy in the halls this morning. Chandra wasn’t feeling well, so I sent her home. Amy and I had to split the group, and she’s not used to handling that many kids.”

  Melanie opened her mouth to reply.

  But Rachel cut her off. “I promise I’ll keep them quieter tomorrow.”

  “I’m not here to talk about the kids.”

  Oh, great. If she says one more word about Cam and me, I am going to scream.

  “Did you live in Seattle before you moved here?”

  Rachel eased forward. “Yes.”

  “Were you a teacher at Roosevelt High?”

  Her stomach tensed. “Why do you want to know?”

  “I knew there must be more to your story, so I did a little research, and look what I found.” A triumphant gleam lit up Melanie’s eyes. She pulled a copy of a newspaper article from the folder and slid it across Rachel’s desk.

  The headline read, Roosevelt Teacher Accused of Inappropriate Relationship with Student.

  Rachel sucked in a sharp breath. “That’s not true.”

  “It’s right there in black and white.” Melanie narrowed her eyes and scanned the article. “‘The investigation suggests Ms. Clark demonstrated a lack of professional judgment, and if the accusations are proven true, they are grounds for dismissal.’”

  Rachel clenched her jaw, fighting the urge to rip the article from her hand.

  “Did you lose your job over this?”

  “Yes…but it was a complicated situation. That article doesn’t begin to tell what really happened.”

  “I’d rather not hear the sordid details.”

  Rachel jumped up. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “I can’t believe you have the nerve to move here and work with kids when you have this kind of background.”

  “You don’t know anything about me or my background.”

  “I know enough, and I won’t stand by and let you endanger those children.”

  “I am not a danger to anyone”

  “Well, here’s the way I see it. You have a choice to make. Either you resign as director of N.C.Y.T., or I’ll tell Cam and all the parents what happened in Seattle.”

  Rachel gasped. “You’re not serious.”

  “I am.”

  Rachel walked around the desk. “But the summer musical is only three weeks away. Think about the kids!”

  “That is exactly who I am thinking about.”

  “Those charges are based on lies!”

  The hateful gleam in Melanie’s eyes spoke louder than her words.

  “You don’t care if this is true or not. You’re just jealous of my relationship with Cam.”

  Melanie wrinkled her nose. “He won’t want anything to do with you when he hears about this.”

  “You’re wrong. He’ll stand up for me.”

  “I wouldn’t count on it. He has his own reputation to think about, and he has to look out for his niece. Once this comes out, it will be the end of your relationship.”

  All the strength drained from Rachel’s legs, and she leaned back against her desk. “Please, Melanie, don’t do this. So many people will be hurt.”

  She leveled her cold gaze at Rachel. “You have until Friday to make a decision. Resign, or I contact the parents.”

  Rachel clenched her fists. “I’m not resigning!”

  The blonde spun on her heel and strode out the door.

  Rachel slumped into her chair and lowered her head to her hands. What was she going to do now?

  Cam gripped the phone tighter, counting the rings as he waited for his sister to pick up. Looking out the kitchen window, he watched Kayla and her friend, Lindsey, squirting each other with the hose. They were supposed to be washing the SUV, but he didn’t mind the impromptu water fight. Seeing Kayla laugh and enjoy time with her friend was worth a few more dollars on his water bill.

  After six rings, Shannon’s voice mail came on, telling him to leave a message. He blew out a deep breath, hoping to drain the frustration from his tone. “Hey, Shannon. Sorry I missed your call. Hope everything is okay. We’ll be home all evening. Try again when you get this message. If I don’t hear from you in a couple hours, I’ll call you back. Take care. Bye.”

  Cam dropped his phone in his pocket. Shannon hadn’t sounded upset when she left her message, but he couldn’t be sure. Every few days she shared some test result or conversation with the doctor that either raised their hopes, or left them anxious and wondering what would happen next.

  He glanced outside at Rachel’s empty parking spot and his mood dropped a few more points. She’d been avoiding him since Sunday evening when the P.I. showed up with that letter from her father. Pushing her to call had been a bad move. Maybe he should call her now.

  He reached for his phone, then slowly withdrew his hand from his pocket. She’d made it clear Sunday night—she needed more time to process this huge shift in her world.

  But not seeing her for three days had left him feeling unsettled and distracted. He couldn’t stop thinking about her. His focus was shot.

  He yanked opened the refrigerator and grabbed the plate of hamburger patties.

  A car pulled in the driveway. He glanced outside as Rachel’s Toyota rolled to a stop next to his SUV. Kayla dropped the hose and ran to greet her. Rachel climbed out of the car. Lindsey grabbed the hose and sprayed Kayla’s feet. His niece squealed and ran to hide behind Rachel.

  Cam snatched the barbeque sauce off the counter and headed out the back door. Maybe an invitation to dinner would ease the strain between them. The screen door slammed behind him. Rachel looked up. He smiled and waved.

  She slowly lifted her hand, but her smile didn’t reach her eyes.

  His stomach clenched. He must have done more damage with his comments on Sunday night than he realized. He crossed the patio and tried to shake off his concern. Maybe she was just tired or stressed about the situation with her father. But as he stationed himself at the grill, sh
e stayed in the driveway talking to Kayla and Lindsey.

  Apparently, she was in no hurry to see him. “Fine,” he muttered, then turned away and hit the ignition switch on the grill.

  So what was her problem? They’d had disagreements before, and she’d always been willing to work them out. What was different this time? It wasn’t his fault she had a long-lost father who hired a P.I. to find her. Why couldn’t she see that as good news?

  Two seconds later he grimaced at his selfish thoughts. It might help if he tried to see things from her perspective. Adjusting to the news her father wanted to be a part of her life again was obviously a huge challenge for her.

  Pride was a hard pill to swallow, but Rachel was worth it. He pulled in a deep breath and crossed the patio to meet her. “Hey.” He held up his spatula. “We’re grilling burgers. Would you like to join us?”

  “Thanks, but…I’ve got a lot to do this evening.”

  He tried not to let her rebuff sting, but it did. “Why don’t you go up and work for a while. I’ll give you a call when we’re ready.” He leaned closer. “Besides, I could use some sane adult conversation tonight.”

  She took a step back. “I wouldn’t be good company. I’ve got a headache.”

  He searched her face, noting the gray half circles under her eyes and the tightness around her mouth. “Sorry to hear that. I’ll run a burger up to you then.”

  She tilted her head and looked at him with a sad smile. “You don’t have to do that.”

  “You’ve got to eat. Why don’t you take something for the headache and lie down for a while. I’ll leave your dinner in the kitchen for later.”

  Her eyes filled as she reached up and touched the side of his face. “Thanks. That’s sweet.”

  He swallowed. Oh, man. If she started crying, that would totally do him in.

  But she turned away and headed across the patio.

  She probably did have a headache and work to do, but there was more going on behind that sad smile than she was telling him. He felt like a wall separated them…and he didn’t like that feeling at all.

  Rachel slowly climbed the stairs to her second-floor apartment. Each step felt like she was dragging huge weights tied around her ankles. The pounding in her head increased, turning her stomach into a queasy mess.

  When she reached the top landing she dropped her computer case and purse on the side table and headed for the bathroom. She took two pain relievers and drank a tall glass of water. Gazing at her reflection on the mirror, she slowly shook her head. You look as terrible as you feel. And it’s no wonder. Your foolish mistakes are about to destroy N.C.Y.T. and break the hearts of fifty kids!

  With a weary sigh she walked into her bedroom and flopped down on the bed. Staring at her ceiling fan, her thoughts swirled like a tornado. Hot tears slipped from the corners of her eyes and dripped into her ears.

  Please, God, I need Your help. I’ve tried to figure this out on my own, but that’s only gotten me in deeper trouble. Please show me what to do. I’m ready to listen to whatever You say.

  Closing her eyes, she slowed her breathing and waited for His answer. A sense of calm settled over her, and she began to think more clearly.

  This had all started because she had tried to hide her past mistakes rather than admitting them, starting with Suzanne at the job interview. Oh, she’d told her she’d been falsely accused by a student and had resigned because of it, but she hadn’t mentioned how her foolish decision to ignore her school’s policy and meet Kyle off campus had compounded the problem and called her judgment into question. That was a humbling bridge she still needed to cross.

  She’d also have to tell Suzanne about Melanie’s threat to leak the article to the parents. If Suzanne was supportive they could face the parents together, and there was a slim possibility they could avoid a catastrophe. There were a lot of ifs and maybes in that line of thinking, but she knew total honesty was the only pathway out of these problems.

  The sound of Cam’s voice and then Kayla and Lindsey’s laughter drifted up from the back patio.

  She closed her eyes and swallowed. Cam deserved to know the truth, too, all of it. She needed to tell him what led up to the accusations and give him details about the investigation and her resignation. Her stomach churned as she imagined his reaction. But how could she expect to build a strong and trusting relationship with him if she wasn’t willing to admit her mistakes and share her weaknesses?

  If only she had told him the truth from the beginning, but she’d had no idea they would grow to care about each other the way they did. Would those feelings be enough to hold them together? Would he forgive her, or would this end their relationship as Melanie hoped?

  Staring at the swirling fan, she made her decision. She got up, retrieved her phone, sat on the side of her bed and bowed her head. Lord, please give me the courage.

  Pressing her lips together, she flipped it open and punched in his number. It rang twice and his voicemail message played, postponing the inevitable.

  She had to force her voice to cooperate. “Hi, this is Rachel. I need to talk to you about something, but I don’t want to do it in front of Kayla. Could you come up and see me later? Or I can come down. Just call me, okay? It’s important.”

  Cam flipped the last burger onto the platter. His phone vibrated in his pocket. He checked the ID and lifted it to his ear. “Hey, how is my favorite sister?”

  “I’m your only sister, and I’m doing okay.” The smile in her voice reassured him this wasn’t a crisis call.

  He released a deep breath. “Good. What’s up?”

  “I was hoping you could help me with something.”

  “Sure. What is it?”

  “There was a freak windstorm in Seattle last night. A tree limb broke off and crashed into our garage roof.”

  Cam frowned and placed the platter on the patio table. “How bad is it?”

  “I’m not sure. One of our elderly neighbors called, but she’s hard of hearing, so we couldn’t get the whole story. Could you and Kayla drive down and check it out? All of Eric’s tools are on that side of the garage, and they’re predicting more rain tomorrow. He thought maybe you could put a tarp over that area.”

  “Okay. We’ll head down there after dinner.”

  “Great. I called the insurance agent and gave him your cell number. He said he’d come by in the morning and take a look. Do you think you could stay over and talk to him?”

  “Sure. Don’t worry about it. I’ll give you a call after we see what’s going on. Then we’ll talk to the insurance guy and make a plan to get it fixed.”

  “Thanks, Cam. You’re a lifesaver.”

  He grinned. “Butterscotch or cherry?”

  She laughed. “Very funny. Can I talk to Kayla?”

  “Sure. I’ll call you later.” He passed the phone to his niece and turned off the grill. Shannon sounded good, almost like her old self. A surge of hope lifted some of the weight he had been carrying. Please, God, bring her through this storm.

  Cam poured a glass of iced tea for each of them while he listened to Kayla tell Shannon a funny story about play rehearsal. He glanced up at Rachel’s window. His trip to Seattle would squelch his hope of spending time with her tonight. But at least he could follow through on his promise to bring her dinner. He loaded a burger on a plate, then added a dill pickle, potato chips and fruit salad the girls had made. He’d take it up to her after he changed. He’d also let her know he planned to be away overnight. Hopefully, by the time he got back tomorrow, she’d feel better and be ready to let him back into her world.

  Twenty minutes later he climbed the stairs to Rachel’s apartment. Stopping on the landing, he called her name, but she didn’t answer. He set the foil-wrapped dinner on the counter in the kitchen and glanced around. The sink was empty except for one coffee cup, and the counters were neat and clear. He walked out to the landing.

  Rachel’s bedroom door stood open. He walked over and peeked in. His steps stalled in the
doorway, and a slow smile lifted his lips. She lay on top of the comforter, eyes closed, curled up in a ball, still dressed in the same clothes she’d been wearing when she came home. She hadn’t even taken off her sandals. Poor girl must be exhausted, but she’d never looked sweeter.

  Her relaxed expression and steady breathing assured him she was sound asleep. The ceiling fan rotated overhead, spreading a light breeze around the room, but the temperature would drop when the sun set in a couple hours. He quietly crossed the room, took the light blanket off the trunk at the foot of her bed and laid it over her. With a gentle hand, he tucked it lightly around her shoulders.

  She stirred for a moment. He stilled, hoping he wouldn’t wake her. When her breathing returned to its slow, steady pattern, he bent and placed a feather-light kiss on the forehead. Sweet dreams, Rachel. I’ll be counting the hours ’til I see you again.

  With one last glance, he slipped out the door.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Raindrops pelted Cam’s head and shoulders as he climbed the ladder leaning against the side of Eric and Shannon’s garage. The tarp he and Kayla had stretched over the hole in the roof last night had come loose and now flapped in the gusty wind.

  Cam gripped the sides of the ladder and glanced down at Kayla. “Hold it steady.”

  She looked up, squinting against the rain. Water splashed in her face and ran off the hood of her yellow raincoat. “I am, but hurry up. I’m getting soaked.”

  “You’re not the only one!” he shouted, then sent her a teasing grin. He didn’t mind this little adventure. In fact, fighting against the storm to take care of this problem for his family gave him an adrenalin rush.

  When he reached the rooftop, he stopped to brush the water from his eyes and scope out the situation. Balancing on one foot, he leaned across the roof, grabbed the tarp and hammered in the first nail.

  Kayla’s cell phone rang. He glanced over the side in time to see her turn around and sit on a lower rung of the ladder. She flipped open the phone and lifted it to her ear.