Awakening

by Hayes, Olivia

  I had tried to keep the conversations light and focused on their furniture finds and budding relationships instead of Luke, but I couldn't help asking about him. My mind had been on him night and day. I missed him, and I hated it. He had called a few times in the first two days, even though I didn't answer, but I hadn't heard from him since Tuesday and it was Friday afternoon already. I wasn't ready to talk to him, but I liked knowing he was thinking about me.

  "He's been a real pain in the ass," Eva had said earlier.

  "Oh yeah?" I had asked trying to seem a little disinterested, although I was trying to telepathically convince her to continue.

  "Yeah, keeps asking if we've talked to you, but neither Marie nor I will tell him anything. We have just said that you were fine, back at work, and doing your normal thing. He doesn't seem to like that though. I think his patience is wearing thin."

  "Well, I don't know what he could possibly expect from me," I had said to her.

  "I can think of one thing," Eva had said.

  "What's that?"

  "An explanation as to why you disappeared without even telling him."

  So, as I drove toward Bluffton, I contemplated whether I should try to talk to him this weekend, or just leave it alone. I really wanted to take it a step at a time, see where the weekend led me, and follow my gut. Although, look where that had gotten me so far. The memory of the night I spent with Luke was burned into my brain. I kept reliving it over and over in my mind. The way he felt, the way he smelled, his touch. I got warm just thinking about it. But, there were two things I still needed to square away in my brain. Could I honestly build a relationship with Mark's brother? Would I ever really be able to let go of Mark completely in order to love someone else with all of my heart?

  As I drove up the driveway, I saw the doe peek out of the woods again. I slowed my car to a stop as I watched her looking around. Her ears twitched and perked up at the sound of my tires on the gravel. As she darted back into the trees, I noticed something etched into one of the trunks.

  I pulled forward a bit so I could get a better look. It was an arrow, pointing into the woods. I shifted the car into park and climbed out, walking over to the tree. I ran my hands over the arrow, smiling as a memory rushed back to me. Luke's fort.

  Luke, Mark and I had spent a ton of time out there after we met. Luke had carved the arrows so I wouldn't get lost going to and from my grandmother's house. I walked into the woods in the direction the arrow was pointing. Along the route I passed several more arrows. Eventually I ran across another trail that led off towards Luke's house. The path seemed more well-worn and I wondered if Luke still spent time out here.

  I picked up my pace as I realized I was nearing my destination. I marveled at how it seemed nothing had changed here. Up ahead the path seemed to dead end into tree limbs. I pulled back a thin veil of kudzu, and slipped through into the clearing. There was one large live oak tree in the center. It's limbs were so heavy that they dragged the ground, creating a sanctuary of sorts under its canopy. The kudzu was so thick in the branches that it created a wall around the tree, with just the one way in and out.

  Straight ahead in the trunk was an etching. My smile grew as I approached. Carved into the tree was the shape of a heart and inside it said LUKE + SAV'H. I ran my hands over the words, remembering the day Luke had cut our names into the tree. I might have been eleven or twelve then, and the two of us had vowed to be best friends forever.

  A branch snapped and the hair on the back of my neck rose as I looked around the clearing. A moment later the vines at the entrance moved aside and a dark head ducked through. I took two steps back, gasping as a familiar tingling sensation took over my body. My pulse raced as I waited for him to notice me. When he did, he paused, his intensely green eyes boring a hole into mine.

  God, he looked good enough to eat. His dark jeans hugged his thighs and his black tee shirt was fitted across his chest and upper arms, accentuating his muscular form. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply, and trying to still my racing heart. When I felt calm enough to open my eyes again, he was still staring at me, but he had crossed his arms and was standing with his feet apart, seemingly waiting for me to say something first.

  I swallowed hard as I tried to think of something to say. I hadn't planned on seeing him at all this weekend, or even telling him I was here. Now it seemed I was going to have to deal with him before I was ready.

  "Hey Luke," was all I could manage.

  "Caroline," he said, and nodded at me.

  I guessed that it was as good a time as any to explain myself.

  "I'm really sorry about last weekend. I don't know what came over me. I shouldn't have put us in such an awkward situation. And..." I couldn't think of what to say next.

  He was looking at me, waiting for me to finish my sentence. "I'm sorry if I made things even more difficult between us."

  I looked up at Luke, who was now crossing the clearing towards me, his long legs covering the ground quickly. When he reached me he slowly raised his hand to cup my cheek, and I couldn't help but lean into his touch. I closed my eyes briefly at the warmth of his fingers against my flesh. When I opened them, he was looking right at me.

  "Caroline, I don't want you to regret one moment we spent together last weekend. I don't, and I wouldn't trade the time we've had for anything in the world. At the cabin you told me what you needed and I wanted to be the one to give it to you. Lord knows I wasn't going to let you go find some other guy. I can't imagine anyone else touching you like that. I made the decision myself, you didn't force me." The sincerity in his eyes was heart wrenching. "Listen, I know this is all unexpected, and the fact that I am Mark's brother is a hurdle for you, but you can't just expect me to let you walk out of my life again."

  I felt like crying. I was so overwhelmed by my jumbled emotions and by the feelings his presence always evoked. My body was humming from his proximity, but my heart felt heavy. I wanted so badly to just let go of the past and move forward. But how could I be with one man while I was still dreaming of another?

  "Luke, I'm just not ready for whatever this is," I said.

  "I'm not asking for anything right now Caroline. I don't want empty promises or false declarations of love. Just let me spend some time with you. I've missed your smile and your laughter. I need them to breathe. Please Caroline, all I'm asking you for is a chance."

  I thought about what Carson had said, to give ourselves a chance to get to know each other, and in that moment I knew I couldn't have denied Luke if I wanted to.

  "Okay Luke, but it has to be on my terms. No more sex, alright? I need to figure out what I want and I need to do it with a clear head."

  "Whatever you say Savannah, I can wait until you are ready," he said with a sexy grin, lowering his hand to his side.

  He had no idea what that smile did to my insides. I knew it would be hard to spend time with Luke and not think about his touch and how our bodies moved together in the heat of passion, but I needed to focus on myself.

  "Are you staying all weekend?" He asked.

  "I'll probably leave sometime Sunday morning. I need to get my things ready for work on Monday and catch up on some e-mails."

  "Can I make dinner for you tonight?"

  "Luke, my mother is at the house and I know she needs help with some things. Anne Marie and Eva will most likely be with Nick and Ben tonight. I think I should just hang out at the house."

  "Bring your mother. I'll see you at seven."

  He leaned into me, kissed my cheek, and had disappeared back through the curtain of kudzu before I could even respond.

  ~~~~

  Pulling up to the house I could see that the front door was still boarded up. I grabbed my bag from the back seat and walked toward the back of the house. As soon as I stepped onto the porch Tomcat came out from his hiding place underneath and meowed at me.

  "Hey buddy," I said to him, leaning down to pet his back. "Did you miss me?" He meowed again as I opened the door, and ran i
nto the house, disappearing around a corner. I shook my head as I sat my bag down on the counter.

  "Caroline! You're back!" My mother said, coming into the kitchen and giving me a hug. "How was the drive over?"

  "It was good. The bridge was backed up as usual, but not as bad as I've seen it some days. How's it going here?"

  "Great, we're still working on the library. There are just so many books to go through. I've decided I'm going to have someone from the local library come by and see if they want any of them. I don't know what else to do with them." She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand and opened the fridge to get some water.

  "Are Anne Marie or Eva here?"

  "Yes, they are both in there," she replied, nodding toward the library.

  "Okay, I'll go see what I can do to help. Oh, and Mom? I ended up running into Luke on the way to the house." She eyed me expectantly. " I know I didn't plan on talking to him yet, but when I saw him... I think we've worked it out for now. Anyway, he asked us over for dinner tonight. Is that okay, or did you have other plans?"

  "Honey, maybe you should go without me."

  That was the last thing I needed, to be alone with Luke.

  "Mom, please. If you don't want to go, then I'm not going either," I told her. I knew she wanted me to spend time with Luke, but I wasn't about to spend time with him alone, especially not within a certain proximity to any horizontal surfaces. At least not until I figured out what I wanted.

  "Fine honey, I'll go," she relented with a sigh, but I could see the slight hint of a smile playing at the edges of her mouth. "I hope he can cook, I'm starving!"

  "He said to be there at 7." I smiled at her before walking down the hallway to the library. "Hey ladies!" I said, walking into the room. "What can I do to help?"

  After Eva and Anne Marie got me started on sorting books into categories they started to tell me about the week they'd spent out here without me.

  "Ben is so dreamy. I can't imagine how I ever lived without him," Anne Marie said, smiling.

  "Marie, you have only known him for a week," Eva snarled.

  "Come on Eva, you and I have always known that Anne Marie would meet some guy and fall instantly in love. Now that it's finally happened, let's not pretend we didn't expect it all along," I told her as she rolled her eyes at me.

  "Thank you Caroline!" Anne Marie beamed.

  "How are things with Nick?" I asked.

  "Fine I guess," Eva said, but didn't sound very convincing.

  "Uh oh. What's going on with that?" I asked.

  "Nothing really. I just think maybe I need some space to sort out my feelings. He wants to move forward and wants me to be all exclusive with him, but I don't know if I'm ready for that. You know how I am, I've never been a one man kinda girl," Eva explained.

  "Does that mean you aren't going to stay with Nick tonight?" Anne Marie asked.

  "No Marie, it doesn't mean that. I have my needs and they must be met. I just might need a break for a few days afterwards is all."

  "You can always come back to Savannah with me this week. I could use some girl time too," I told her.

  "That might be just the medicine I need," Eva said. "Maybe we can go out to Deuces and get some drinks."

  I laughed. It was just like Eva to want to go out and get drinks and meet some random guy. Maybe getting out would be good for both of us.

  ~~~~

  When my mother and I pulled the Explorer up to Luke's it was seven o'clock on the dot. I rang the doorbell and as we were waiting on the porch, I could hear footsteps coming toward the door. When it opened and Luke smiled at me I felt a little faint.

  "Ladies, please, come in," Luke said, waving his arm to gesture us inside.

  "Something smells delicious," my mother observed as she followed me back towards the great room.

  "I hope you like lamb chops. I've been slaving over them for hours."

  I turned to see Luke wink at my mother before flashing her his dashing grin.

  "I'm looking forward to it!" She exclaimed.

  "May I offer either of you some wine?" Luke asked.

  "I would love some," I told him.

  He paused and looked me directly in the eyes before letting his gaze drift downward. I could feel heat rising up my neck into my face as he continued his perusal of my body. My knees were starting to feel weak, so I moved to sit at the dinner table.

  After he poured all three of us a glass of wine and set the glasses on the dinner table, he then escorted my mother to her seat, pulling it out for her and helping to push her in once she was seated. As my mother and I discussed the interior design choices Luke had made, he plated our food and served each of us, before seating himself on my left.

  "Luke, this looks incredible! Where did you learn to cook?" My mother asked.

  "My mother taught me actually," he said. "She told me when I was young that there was nothing sexier than a man in the kitchen, and then proceeded to impart all her knowledge."

  The first bite of my lamb practically melted in my mouth. It was absolutely marvelous. I closed my eyes letting the flavor of mint and rosemary linger on my tongue as I savored it.

  "The way you look right now reminds me of when you're recovering from an orgasm."

  My eyes flew open at his soft whisper in my ear. I looked at my mother, but she was pretending not to have noticed. I cleared my throat as I felt warmth begin to build inside my belly. His presence was so unnerving. I kicked him under the table to tell him to back off and he laughed under his breath.

  "So Luke, tell us something about you that I don't know," my mother prompted.

  "Let's, see. I didn't always plan to be an architect. My first love was football. I was the quarterback for my high school football team and had some interest from college scouts. We won the state championship my senior year and I received scholarship offers from Clemson and South Carolina. My parents encouraged me to follow my dreams, but I remembered a conversation I'd had with my dad a year or two before about finishing my education and having something to fall back on, so I chose Clemson, where I could study architecture too. The first game of the season I tore my ACL. I had surgery to repair it, but it's never been the same. Aches when the rain comes, tightens up on me if I don't drink enough water. There was a line of healthy guys waiting to jump into my spot, and they did. So, I got pushed to the third string and ended up focusing more on my studies and here I am."

  I regarded him. I already knew he had played football, but just imagining his muscular build poured into a pair of tight uniform pants had my mouth watering.

  "What prompted you to get your Masters? I asked.

  "I honestly don't know. It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time."

  He squeezed my hand under the table and began to run circles on my palm with his thumb. I could feel the tingling spreading from my fingers to my toes, and all places in between.

  "Mrs. Foster," Luke said, "Did you know Mark well?"

  "Please honey, call me Allison." She smiled at Luke and contemplated her next words. "I did know Mark pretty well. He spent a lot of time at our house after he and Caroline started dating. He was a good boy, and he blossomed into a fine young man. Your parents really did raise some gentlemen."

  "I'm sure they'd be very pleased to hear that... Do you have any stories about Mark and Caroline?" Luke asked hesitantly.

  I eyed him skeptically, not sure what he was after.

  "One time," she began and launched into a series of stories about Mark and me and our escapades together. There was one about me getting stuck in a six foot hole, one about me slipping out of a tree and bruising my bottom, and several other embarrassing moments where my mother was able to turn Mark into the white knight who kept running into the fire to save the princess in distress. When she was done, both Luke and I were rolling with laughter.

  He looked at me. "Tell me more about you."

  "You don't really want to talk about me," I diverted.

  "Well, if you don't h
ave any stories I have plenty," my mother chimed in.

  I rolled my eyes at her. "Mom, please!" She went on talking as if I hadn't said anything, telling him all about my embarrassing childhood episodes and about how I had kicked Mitchell Price in the nuts after he tried to feel me up at an middle school dance.

  Luke's warm hand found mine under the table again, and I allowed him to pull my hand into his lap, and entwine his fingers with mine.

  "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find the ladies room," my mother said, purposefully excusing herself from the room.

  I turned to Luke with a smile on my face. "Thanks for having us over. Dinner was excellent and I haven't laughed that much in a long time."

  He leaned in to me, bringing his warm lips to mine, kissing me gently. Then he breathed in the scent of my hair and exhaled next to my ear. "You, sweet Savannah, are most welcome. The pleasure was all mine. I love watching you smile and hearing your laugh."

  I shivered and he grinned. He knew what his effect was on me, and he wasn't going to let me forget our intimate time together for one second. If he kept touching me, however innocently, I knew I was going to give in to my desires again. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. Luke felt right to me.

  ~~~~

  "Did you have a nice time honey?" My mom asked as she started the car for the short drive back to my grandmother's house.

  "I did. Thank you for all the stories. I had forgotten so many of them. It really was nice to talk and reminisce about Mark with people who loved him too."

  "Caroline, I'm not going to mince words with you, I'm just going to say what I see. Mark and you had a great relationship. You two shared so many things in common, and you fell in love with each other and the idea of what you could be together. I know Mark would have made you happy, and your father and I would have been proud to have him as part of our family."

  "I feel a 'but' coming," I said.