by Kes Gray
Contents
Cover
About the Book
Title Page
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
About the Author
Also by Kes Gray
Praise
Read more
Copyright
About the Book
The second brilliant book in the Jack Beechwhistle series.
The world’s a dangerous place. Luckily, Jack Beechwhistle is around to protect it. He might look like an ordinary boy, but really he’s a junior secret agent. He’s tackled all sorts of missions – exploding conkers, zombie sweet-shop owners, and man-eating giant slugs – with a bit of help from his best friends and sidekicks, Colin and Harry (as long as it’s not past their bedtime).
Then Jack notices something strange and suspicious about the hairdresser in town, Valentino. Every time Valentino cuts someone’s hair, he sweeps the hairs up and collects them in a big plastic bag. But what is he using them for?
Everything points to Valentino being an evil enemy agent! And Jack Beechwhistle’s on the case …
To Clare Hair
CHAPTER 1
Hi, Jack ”Dragon” Beechwhistle here, Junior Defender of the World. Have you heard that daddy-longlegs are full of the most dangerous poison known to man, which means if they had teeth they would be the most dangerous insects on the planet? Well, that’s what my best friends Harry and Colin are saying.
Actually it’s not true. Daddy-longlegs don’t have any poison in them at all. I’ve just checked it out on a website that has real scientists giving you real answers on it. That’s one of the ways I’ve become an expert in so many things: by listening to experts.
Knowing your facts is really important if you are going to become a world defence agent. Facts are the things that help you decide how dangerous a mission is going to be.
For instance, if you were on a jungle mission and you were going to land your super-fast jet on a really small island, you would need to know your facts, like how long the runway is. If you were landing on a really small island and you hadn’t found out how long the runway was, you could end up coming in too fast, running out of runway, skidding off the end, crashing into the sea and then having to wrestle sharks or sea monsters and stuff.
Or say you were on a space mission and an immense asteroid was about to collide with your spacecraft. If asteroids have a weak spot and you know exactly where the weak spot is, then you will know exactly whereabouts to aim your defence missiles. Get your facts wrong and end up aiming at a strong spot instead of a weak spot, and it won’t be the asteroid that explodes into a million pieces. It will be you.
I don’t know if asteroids actually do have a weak spot, by the way. It’s one of the things I’ll be looking into next. When I find out, I will add it to my Fact File under A for Asteroid.
I’ve been building a World Defence Fact File for about two years. I started it after my dad told me I’d been made a world defence agent just like him. Well, a junior one. My Fact File is divided up into loads of different sections, going from A for Asteroid to Z for Zombies. Each section is full of handy tips that will keep you safe. When it’s finished I’m going to put it on the internet so that everyone on the planet can learn from my knowledge and be a hundred times safer in an instant.
At the moment the only people I share my knowledge with are Harry and Colin. Harry and Colin live in my street and we’re in the same class at school. I’m training them to be junior world defence agents like me. Both of them have a lot to learn – like never get your hair cut at Valentino’s.
Valentino is the hairdresser in the High Street. At least, it says he’s a hairdresser on the outside of his shop. When I saw what he’d done to Harry and Colin at the end of the summer holidays, I knew it couldn’t be true.
I was sitting on the wall outside my house when I finally saw them coming down the street on their bikes. At first I couldn’t see what had happened to them because as they rode up to me and parked their bikes, they both had their hoods up. When they took their hoods down, I realized why.
“What kind of haircut do you call that?” I asked.
“A ‘light trim’,” sighed Harry.
“My mum told me to ask for a light trim too,” groaned Colin.
“There is no way those are light trims,” I said, getting up from the wall to see what their haircuts looked like from behind. “YOU’VE BEEN TOTALLY SCALPED!”
“It does feel a bit short,” said Colin, rubbing the back of his head.
“It’s a lot short,” I told them.
“How long do you reckon it will take to grow back?” asked Harry, putting his hood back up and sitting down on the wall.
“About two years.” I smiled.
“Very funny,” sighed Colin, putting his hood up too.
“Are you sure you went into a hairdresser’s?” I asked. “Are you sure you didn’t walk into a lawnmower shop by mistake?”
“One more joke and I’m going home,” said Harry.
“Me too,” grumbled Colin.
Harry and Colin were right: it was no time for jokes. I had two wounded men who needed my support.
“OK!” I said. “No more jokes, I promise.”
“Swear the secret swear,” said Harry.
“I swear,” I said, folding my arms across my chest and then doing five blinks and a double thumbs-up.
“We’ve got to go back to school on Monday,” said Colin, dropping his bike on the pavement and sitting beside Harry. “And we’ve got to walk into the playground looking like this.”
“Everyone’s gonna laugh their heads off,” added Harry.
“I hope Daisy Butters and Gabriella Summers get their hair cut at Valentino’s before we go back to school too.” Colin laughed. “Can you imagine it?!”
Daisy Butters and Gabriella Summers are the two most annoying girls in school. All of us could imagine it.
“No such luck,” I sighed.
“I mean, how can you go to a hairdresser’s asking for a light trim and then get totally scalped?” sighed Harry, kicking his front tyre. “It’s so wrong.”
“So why didn’t Valentino give us what we asked him to give us?” asked Colin.
It was a good question. There are haircuts, there are bad haircuts and there are criminal haircuts. Had they just had their hair cut by a criminal?
“Maybe, just maybe,” I said, “there is more to Valentino than meets the eye.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know what I mean yet,” I told them, “but I’m calling an emergency meeting NOW!
WORLD DEFENCE TIP:
If you need to have emergency meetings, make sure you have a secret den to have them in.
“Let’s go!” I said, grabbing my bike and speeding off in the direction of Allotment 24. “I can feel a new mission coming on!”
CHAPTER 2
Me, Colin and Harry have the best secret den in the world. It’s so secret, only we know it’s there. Or at least, only we know how to get in. From the outside it looks like a padlocked shed in an overgrown allotment. But from the inside it’s everything a secret den should be.
As soon
as we arrived, we camouflaged our bikes, took the lid off our water butt and climbed down into our secret tunnel.
Colin was the first one in.
Then Harry.
Then me.
At 11:11 hundred hours precisely our emergency meeting began.
WORLD DEFENCE TIP:
Always carry a small pad and pen in case you need to make emergency notes. If you don’t have a pad, make one out of something else.
“OK,” I said, wiping the dirt off an old gardening pencil and then leaning a carrot-seed packet against my knees. “Tell me everything that happened at Valentino’s.”
“I got there first,” said Colin.
“And I got there second,” said Harry.
“Did you notice anything suspicious when you entered the shop?” I asked.
“Not really,” said Colin. “There were three people already waiting in the queue though.”
“Did any of the people in the queue look suspicious?” I asked.
“There was a man reading a newspaper,” said Harry.
“Was the newspaper the right way up?” I asked.
WORLD DEFENCE TIP:
Beware of upside-down newspapers. People reading upside-down newspapers are only pretending to read their newspapers. They are definitely spies and have probably got their eyes on you!
“I didn’t notice,” said Harry.
“Was it a foreign newspaper?” I asked.
WORLD DEFENCE TIP:
Beware of people reading foreign newspapers. If you see someone reading a foreign newspaper, they could be a foreign agent. If they are reading a foreign newspaper upside down, they are definitely a foreign agent.
“I didn’t notice,” said Harry.
“Did it have eyeholes cut out of it?” I asked.
WORLD DEFENCE TIP:
Beware of newspapers with eyeholes. If you see anyone reading a newspaper or magazine with eyeholes cut out, then they are using the eyeholes to spy on you. If you see someone reading an upside-down foreign newspaper with eyeholes, RUN!
“I didn’t notice,” said Harry and Colin together.
“OK,” I said, drawing a cross on the back of the seed packet and trying a different approach. “What DID you notice?”
“How do you mean?” asked Colin.
“I mean, was anyone in the queue wearing suspicious clothes?” I said.
“What sort of suspicious clothes?” asked Colin.
“Black hat, black shirt, black gloves, black coat, dark glasses, army camo, Ninja robes, gas mask, bulletproof vest – anything you wouldn’t normally see in a queue at the hairdresser’s,” I explained.
“I didn’t really notice what anyone was wearing,” said Colin. “I was too busy watching Valentino.”
“So was I,” said Harry.
It wasn’t the best start to an investigation. One of the very first lessons a junior world defence agent must learn is to keep your eyes peeled at all times. That way, when your leader asks you questions in an emergency meeting about what you saw, you’ll be able to give answers that are a whole lot more useful than “I didn’t notice”.
But it was OK. The good news was that while they were sitting in the queue, Harry and Colin had both had their eyes on Valentino.
“OK, guys,” I said, pointing my pencil at the seed packet and getting ready to write. “Tell me about Valentino.”
CHAPTER 3
“He had really hairy eyebrows,” said Colin.
“How hairy?” I asked.
“Like hairy caterpillars,” said Harry.
“What colour?” I asked.
“Brown,” Harry added.
“I see.” I frowned, writing brown hairy caterpillars on my seed packet. “What else do you remember?”
“He had at least two pairs of scissors in his pockets,” said Colin.
“And he had an electric shaver,” said Harry. “He went right over our heads with an electric shaver.”
“And he made us wear a gown,” said Colin.
“What type of gown?” I asked, reaching for another seed packet.
“A sort of black silky one,” said Harry.
“With no arms,” added Colin.
“No arms?” I frowned. “Did he tie you up to the chair with a rope before he made you put on the gown?” I asked.
“No,” said Colin. “All he put on us was the gown.”
“AND A RUBBER MAT!” gasped Harry. “He put a rubber mat on our shoulders too!”
“YOU’RE RIGHT!” gasped Colin. “I’d forgotten about the rubber mat!”
Clues were coming thick and fast now. I had used up one and a half seed packets, written down brown hairy caterpillars, sharp scissors, electric shaver, gown with no arms, and now rubber mat. This was getting interesting.
“Did he say anything to you when you were sitting down in the chair?” I asked.
“He asked lots of questions,” said Harry.
“LOTS AND LOTS OF QUESTIONS!” Colin nodded.
“Such as?” I asked, getting them to remember each and every one:
1. Had we enjoyed the summer holiday?
2. Were we looking forward to going back to school?
3. What had we been doing during the summer holiday?
4. Had we been away anywhere on holiday?
5. Did we like football?
6. What team did we support?
These weren’t questions. This was a full-on interrogation of my men. In broad daylight too. If Valentino was a real hairdresser, then I was a skateboarding elephant.
“Did you notice anything unusual after he had cut your hair?” I asked, reaching for seed packet number three.
“He sprinkled talcum powder on the back of our necks!” said Colin.
“And then he swept our hair up with A BROOM!” said Harry. “I remember looking round and seeing him do it. It was a red broom with a white handle!”
“And what did he do with all your hair once he had swept it up?” I asked.
“He put all of it into a giant bag!” said Colin.
“A great big see-through plastic bag!” Harry nodded.
“So he’s collecting children’s hair, is he?” I frowned, writing down big bag of children’s hair and then giving it a double underline with my pencil.
It was time for a serious review of my notes.
CHAPTER 4
There is a skill to spotting danger. Not many people have it, but I do. If Valentino was a real hairdresser, then how come he was doing criminal haircuts? And if he was a criminal, why had he set up a pretend hairdresser’s shop in the High Street?
From everything that Colin and Harry had told me it was clear that Valentino was up to no good:
1. Harry and Colin had been scalped by Valentino.
2. Harry and Colin had been interrogated by Valentino.
3. Harry and Colin had had their hair swept up by Valentino.
4. Taken away by Valentino.
5. And put into a big mysterious bag by Valentino.
If Valentino was up to something, then I needed to not only work out what it was but stop him in his evil tracks.
Two words kept jumping out at me from my notes. Hairy and caterpillar. “You say Valentino’s eyebrows looked like brown hairy caterpillars. Do you think they could have actually been brown hairy caterpillars?” I asked.
Colin and Harry looked at each other and frowned.
“I mean, did you see them doing any wriggling when he was cutting your hair?” I asked.
“I didn’t really notice,” said Colin.
“Did they ever crawl higher up and onto his forehead, or down his nose or across his cheeks?” I asked.
Colin frowned. “I would definitely have noticed if they had!”
“They did go up and down quite a lot!” said Harry. “Especially when he was asking us questions!”
I had too many questions and not enough answers. There was only one thing for it. I needed to talk to the Intelligence Department at World Defence HQ and I needed
to talk to them fast.
WORLD DEFENCE SECURITY TIP:
If you need to contact World Defence HQ fast to ask them important questions, make sure your left earlobe has been fitted with a two-way communication device. An invisible chip will arouse no suspicion and can be activated at any time by one press of your earlobe.
“Agent J to World Defence HQ. Over,” I said. “Come in, World Defence HQ. Over …
“Intelligence Department please …
“Aha … suspicious activities …
“Ahum … in the High Street …
“Valentino …
“Aha …
“Ahum …
“Pretend hairdresser’s shop …
“Completely scalped …
“Hairy caterpillars …
“Message received …
“Leave it to us!
“Emergency meeting over!” I shouted, jumping to my feet. “This isn’t the work of a hairdresser, this is the work of a criminal mastermind!”
“What do you mean?” asked Colin, heading into the tunnel too.
“I mean, those furry things you spotted on Valentino’s face this morning weren’t eyebrows at all – they were SPYBROWS! ONLY AN ENEMY AGENT WOULD USE SPYBROWS!”
“SPYBROWS!?” gasped Harry. “What are spybrows?”
“Spybrows are the very latest in enemy surveillance technology,” I told him. “They look like hairy eyebrows, but really they are robot hairy caterpillars designed by Valentino to watch and record your every move!”
“You mean Valentino was using his eyebrows to spy on us all the time we were in the hairdresser’s?”
“Exactly,” I said. “Enemy HQ has probably found out that I’m training you to be junior world defence agents just like me, and has told Valentino to learn all our secrets.”
“But why did he cut all our hair off as well?” asked Harry. “Why didn’t he just learn all our secrets and give us light trims?”
