Chosen by the Berserker
Page 5
“Would you like us to prove it to you?” Kajo asked. I stared at Kajo, dumbfounded. Before I could respond, he flicked his wrist and, with the flick, my hand rose from my side and picked up the carafe I had been thinking of throwing earlier and picked it up. There was an inner will, expressing itself through me, guiding me, telling me, taunting me… Telling me to pick it up.
I watched my hand, aghast, as I picked up the carafe.
Hold it in the air… It was Kajo’s voice in my mind.
No! I was screaming at myself. Put it back down!
But, I couldn’t… I couldn’t… As hard as I fought, I held it there… The inner voice, the inner will pulsed from my chest, Kajo controlling me, manipulating my hand.
I held the carafe in the air, then plummeted it to the ground.
The glass shattered, the water flushed into the stone and rippled across the cobbles, running through the cracks and splashing up onto my boots.
My hand dropped back down to my side. It ached and quivered.
I flexed it and wiggled my fingers, feeling it anew, like it had belonged to someone else for a moment and had only been returned to me as a gift.
I stared at Kajo, then looked at Ilisa, trying to decide which I wanted to win out: the empty, craven, heartbroken annihilation of knowing I was helpless on this planet, or the fury that wanted to kill the King.
“You can’t kill me, Skarde, and you had better forget the inclination…” The voice was so clear, so easily amused in my mind that I swallowed deep and nodded at him. I knew that I couldn’t, and I didn’t really want to. I respected him. Except that he kept reading my blasted mind! “I’m sorry, forgive the violation… But, that’s all the more reason to trust Ilisa, lean into Ilisa, more than you already have…”
Ha… He must know about last night...
Kajo continued speaking to me telepathically. “Lean into her and learn our ways. Defend yourself.”
I clenched my fists again and looked at Ilisa.
“I will work with my Chosen one.”
“Good,” Kajo said, “Now, let me finish telling you about your enemies, because we are going to war soon, and you have many…”
Kajo continued to talk, but I kept my eyes locked on Ilisa as I thought about wrapping myself around her in my large canopy bed. I guess I could let her into my mind… I wanted to let myself into her body, was it only fair that I match her in the way that her people commanded?
I wondered if she were reading my mind. Maybe, someday soon, I could read hers…
Nine
Ilisa
I hadn’t been able to slip any solo time in with Skarde in the four days since our sail into the storm - and part of me wasn’t sure I wanted to. Being separated from him, busied by necessary arrangements of defenses, of briefings with Damox and Renin and my Bristolans, of side meetings with Kajo where he commanded me again and again to make sure I was impressed with how important it was to get Skarde to agree to be manipulated mentally by me, and I had again expressed my hesitation, but through the four days of separation my mind had cleared a little from the strange spell that had overcome me by the Berserker of Vailstor. What was it about him…? I had shifted significantly… He was… He was… brutal and brave and bizarre, but, oh so beautiful, too.
He was all that I had thought could never exist enough to challenge me.
The way he had held me, just in silence, a calm, soothing silence, the night before the feast, stroking my hair, warming me up from the storm, making no sexual motivation, just holding me, was so sweet and serene.
I had seen him in passing and at meetings, but we hadn’t been able to move into true defense works of the mental arts. Not one-on-one. But, that was to change tomorrow morning.
The storm had finally passed, though it had rained much of the last four days, and the crescent moon was peeking out behind the last remaining clouds as I walked along the stone castle halls between the outdoor parapets. The great training rings below were vacant. It was late. I was leaving a meeting with Cartari and Axis to discuss the role of the Bristolans in the fight. They were leaving back to Bristola tomorrow and they had been reluctant to leave my four trusted here, but I really wanted them: I had won the convincing.
A chill howl rang out from the left of me and I immediately flattened myself against the tall rampart, feeling the chill of the stone on my cheek, and peeked out over the edge. There, near the cliffs of the harbor below, was Skarde and his three Vailstorans, swords held high in the chill slivers of moonlight, fires flared around them in a circle, odd wafts of blue smoke layering the area.
Another howl rang up as Skarde threw his head back, bare chest glistening, either with oils or sweat or both, full and broad to the open air, and howled like a wolf. His long, dark hair curled back and shook around him, muscles rippling, swelling. Then he held a pipe to his mouth and inhaled. Blue smoke puffed all around him and the other Vailstorans did the same.
The flames crackled and spat blue as the smoke from the strange herb they were inhaling mixed with the oil from the torches and the four Vailstorans howled. They pranced in a circle, all bare chested, the two women with only small wraps around their breasts, their swords held aloft, then they clashed into each other and battled fiercely, their swords swinging more quickly than I thought steel could move unaided by telekinesis. They leapt over each other, unaided by telekinetic floating and flying, but leaping off each other, throwing each other, magnificent feats of acrobatics. They were gymnasts, athletes: warriors.
I watched the wild dance in fire and smoke and howls for a few moments, then tried to access Skarde’s thoughts. They were scrambled, hasty, fleeting, perhaps too heated by the battle? Focused on the fight, for sure. Maybe I was too far away to grasp them quickly. Maybe they were made too flighty from the herb.
A cloud cast a shadow over the small moonlight and the dancing fighters stopped, howling again.
“It’s the tradition of the Berzerker.” I jumped, my hand going to my knife, as Zaya spoke from behind me. She held up her hands slightly and smiled. “I’m sorry to startle you.” She nodded toward the Vailstorans below us. “It’s an old way, the herb and the dance fighting. It’s one of the things that makes Skarde so fierce in battle, so strong and sure. He may be wild, unpredictable, and difficult, but… He is unbeatable. The soldiers he brought with him are lucky to share in this tradition of his tonight. It means he is preparing for battle.”
“Why the howling?”
“Because he is connecting to nature. The truth of us all.”
I looked at Zaya carefully and tapped my temple. “We believe that connecting to our mental skills is the truth of us all. Will Skarde let me help him see that?”
“I think so. I will talk to him one more time before we leave in the morning.”
“Thank you. That will be helpful.”
Zaya came close to me and I tried hard not to step back. Her dark eyes were mysterious, calm, but taunting. There was something familiar in them, something so similar to Skarde’s… It was as if, if she smiled at me, it would be the best gift I could receive…
She touched my arm and then brushed my cheek slightly. “Be careful, Bravo Ilisa. Skarde has broken many bones, but I am afraid that if he chooses a heart to break, it will never heal.”
Then she turned and walked away, leaving me wanting to ask if she knew how I might protect that heart that I also, at the same time, wanted so desperately to risk breaking…
Ten
Ilisa
Skarde was late. Kajo was getting impatient. The Beast King was not used to people keeping him waiting. He was not used to people thwarting him in any way. I wondered if Skarde was doing it on purpose. Kajo sent Modifi off to get him from his quarters after an hour had passed. Cartari, Zaya, Axis, Ceritha, and the other Bristolans had already left. It was Kajo and I alone in the command room, waiting for Skarde the Berserker to show for his first true lesson in telepathic control.
All of my protests had been dismissed for the f
inal time and I had accepted that this was the only way to truly protect Skarde mentally. We could not have a round-the-clock mental guard on his mind; he needed to have the skills himself. And, hopefully, through me mentally controlling him, I would imbue him with the skills that Queen Daphne, Vania, and Zaya had all been seen to develop just by being connected to and controlled by their telepaths. It didn’t stop me from feeling a bit sick to the stomach at the thought of mentally controlling someone else… Would I really know how to do this? Would I really be able to impose my Will on another being?
In the back of my mind, I wondered if it was the Destin connection that made a difference… And a secret flame in my heart stirred, wondering if Skarde really was my match in that way… The way his fingertips burned into my skin when he touched me certainly said something else was stirring there… But, that couldn’t be true. And, that certainly couldn’t be a concern for me: a soldier in his employ.
Right now, it just mattered that I help protect his brain from Fenvitz.
Kajo paced in front of the sparking morning fire and twisted the flames into interesting geometric patterns with his telekinetic command as we waited. I didn’t dare speak to him. His dark eyes were starting to take on the gloom of an angry storm I didn’t wait to trespass.
The door to our left wipped open and we both turned. Modifi and Skarde walked in. Modifi’s cheek was split open and Skarde’s right eye had a red swelling that would soon turn to a ripe bruise.
“What happened?” I lunged up from my lounging position in one of the chairs at the table.
Modifi waved away my demand. “Duke Skarde welcomes your mental command, Bravo Ilisa. I am certain he just forgot the timing of the lesson this morning.”
Skarde grit his teeth, hands clasped behind his back, likely in fists. He avoided my eyes and stared steadily at the King.
“I didn’t realize you would be here as well, King Kajo.”
“I’m just here to observe. I want to make sure that you and Bravo Ilisa are the proper match.”
Skarde stared hard at the King, then took a deep breath and looked to me. “She is the one I have Chosen. We match well. I will accept her control of my mind, so that I can avoid the control of those who would seek to harm this kingdom and the greater plan that my General Truloy has for the treaty of Vailstor with Farian.”
Kajo nodded. “Fine. Let’s proceed, then.”
I forced a calming smile and reached a hand out to Skarde. “Please, Duke Skarde, come sit next to me. It will be better if we are seated in a relaxed position.”
Skarde hesitated again. He rubbed his fist-bashed eye a moment and looked at Modifi. Modifi saluted the King, then backed out the door and left. Kajo sat down in one of the far chairs, his face in darkness, truly an observer, but I could feel tendrils of inquisition from his mind in my mind, butting up against the natural mental blocks I had long ago trained as the Beast King prepared to witness everything I said and did over Skarde. It made me a bit uncomfortable, but how could I say no to my King?
Skarde took my hands and let me guide him to sit in a chair beside me.
“I am not accustomed to making myself vulnerable,” he said softly, squeezing my hand, whispering so that only I could hear.
“I know. But you can trust me. Can trust us.”
Skarde’s eyes wavered to Kajo. I gripped his hand tighter and placed them on my thighs. “Just hold on to me. Feel me. Focus on me.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to ask you to go into a meditative state, okay? Do you have experience with that?”
“Yes. I do that for some of my ceremonies as a Berserker. I believe you saw me last night.” His dark eyes danced an enigma at me. Zaya must have told him I was spying on his dancing and howling procession.
“Yes, I saw you and your Vailstor soldiers. That was really interesting. You shall have to tell me more about that sometime. Now, if you can focus on a place like that, a place of peace and hope and trust. A place where you find comfort and truth, like where you can connect to the base of it all, like perhaps what you sense when you are howling to nature, that is where you will find the mental connection. But, that is also where meditation lies. You will need to find the no-motion mind. The true sense of lack of restlessness. If you have a thought, recognize it, then let it pass. I shall be guiding your thoughts, so just accept them and let them move on. Don’t fight them, don’t question them. I will have to have total control for this to work. It will be like I am opening a gate for you that will allow a flood to happen. Once that flood is through, you will be able to build boats to navigate that river and soon, I am sure, you will become a competent sailor of mental pathways. But, you have to let me break that dam first… Okay? I will be pulsing my Will through you, but then your own Will will push back, you need to let me have the command here. Does that make sense? You have to trust me. Okay?”
Skarde stared hard at me, eyes narrowed.
“What are you going to ask me to do?”
“Simple things. Move around the room. Pick things up. I will not ask for secrets. I will not demand any more of your vulnerability than you are already giving us. You can trust me.”
“Ok, Ilisa. I will trust you.”
Skarde closed his eyes, breathed in deeply, slowly, then released a breath, getting deeper and deeper into his breathing.
“I’m going to begin,” I said, as much to him as to Kajo. My stomach roiled. I hated having to do this… Then, I also took a deep breath, and whispered a tendril of my own Will into Skarde’s mind… It was awkward, clumsy… After all, I had never done this before…
“You can trust me… You can open up your Will to me… The most important thing you are feeling is the need to trust me, to be here with me and believe that I will do you no harm…” As I pulsed my Will into Skarde’s mind, his own Will pushed back for a moment, his countenance clouded and he frowned, biting his lip, confusion brushed across his face, then it smoothed and he relaxed. He was giving in, he was letting me in, he was trusting me. His eyes glazed over and frosted. He looked at me with openness and honesty. He was trusting me.
It was bizarre and empty inside of his mind, like occupying a space outside myself that was welcoming but dangerous at the same time, knowing he could turn on me at any moment.
“Pick up the water near you and drink it. You feel thirsty. You need a drink. Pick up the water and drink it…” I said. The goal of this session was just to compel him to my Will, to get him to be accessible to my Will, so that he was having to obey me. Kajo and the other leaders had consulted with some of the most esteemed Readers in Farian as to how it might have been possible that Cartari’s mental control of Zaya had led to her being able to become a tele artist, since they were both from Vailstor. It seemed that him just giving her access to the tele arts through imploring her to do certain things was enough. That, and maybe the Destin connection. We really wouldn’t be able to know until we tried.
I sent the intention of thirst, the true desire of thirst through Skarde’s mind and imagined feeling thirsty and he reached for the bottle of water, his limb lifting heavily, his eyes flashing confusion for a moment, but then giving in. It was odd, to taste the water on his lips, as if I were connected to that sensation, too, through the imposition I was giving him.
He kept drinking it. He was downing the whole bottle. He wasn’t stopping.
“Okay, that’s enough… You are satiated.” Skarde stopped and set the bottle down. I swallowed deeply, stunned by the amount of control I had. I hadn’t realized how literal it would be. He would have taken down the whole bottle if I hadn’t said anything.
Skarde looked back at me, his eyes still clouded.
Kajo was in my mind, listening, watching.
“Trust me… Keep your mind open to my Will, put your hands back on my legs… Trust me, Skarde. I am your Chosen one… I am here for you…” I said, making sure to imprint myself on him, as I had been told to do. This was important not only for this le
sson, but for the future ones. And, also, for the greater strategy of the alliance of Vailstor with Farian.
Skarde gripped my thighs tightly, his fingertips digging into my leather pants. His gaze was so intense… Even though his eyes were frosted over with the mental hold. It was a bizarre sensation, being in his mind… Next, I was supposed to make him walk around the room.
“Skarde, trust me… When I guide you--”
“Ask him what weapon Truloy is making in her southern mines.” Kajo’s words didn’t interfere with my intense hold of Will on Skarde, but it did rattle me a moment. I kept my gaze steady on the Duke’s mentally controlled, frosted eyes, but my heart beat more quickly at my King’s command. I grit my teeth. This was not what we were supposed to be doing… We were supposed to be protecting Skarde. Gaining his trust. If we gained his trust, he would just eventually tell us these truths, right? But, first and foremost, my loyalty had to be to Kajo’s crown. Just as Skarde’s loyalty would surely be to his General’s… “Ask him if the Vailstorans are truly building quasar seekers? Where did they get those engineering plans? Is that what Truloy really wants our frajili for?”
I hesitated and then pulsed another intention into Skarde’s mind, the deep desire and trust in me, to tell me all of Truloy’s plans, to tell me what she was seeking the frajili for, to tell me what weapons they were building. Skarde’s eyes wavered, a bit of clarity suddenly, and his grip tightened on my thighs. His own inhibitions fought against my Will, his own cognisance tried to regain control as he realized what I was asking.
Tears were pricking my throat and my heart was heavy in my chest, my breathing coming shallow as I overwhelmed Skarde with the sensation of trust in me: “Tell me your truth… What is the frajili for? Are you using quasar seekers? What blasters are you building? Where did you find those engineering plans? You can trust me, Skarde… Trust me… Tell me the truth…”