by Rhys Ford
I am only home in the dark.
The shadows are my only friend.
When a spark of light comes on,
I know my peace is about to end.
—Cursing the Candle
I was bleeding when I met you,
Blood running red over my skin.
You want me to love you,
I’m telling you I don’t know where to begin.
You’ve got your hooks in deep,
Pulling at parts of me I can’t see.
How can I believe I hate you,
When I don’t want to be free?
—Cut Open to Heal
Fingers on my skin
Sin in my bones
Blood in my veins
Telling me there’s no home
Finding solace above
From iron in the sky
Love’s what you make it
Never let it walk by
—Dead of Night
Butterflies and whiskey, catching fire to the moon.
Death’s calling to me but I tell him it’s too soon.
Songs to sing, places to see.
I don’t want to go but Death sure wants me.
—Death Calling
Reaper came for all of us
Jerked us up from the brine
Slipped out from his bony fingers
Landed on our feet just fine
Took four steps to Freedom
Took four souls to the line
Spat at the Devil at the Crossroads
Drank our sins with sweet wine
—Death, Devil and Sin
I walked onto the Delta, hoping to make myself a man,
Cocky as shit, with my guitar in my hand.
Walked past the Crossroads, paid the Devil no mind.
He didn’t reach for me, saying I was already his kind.
—Delta Spawn Blues
Tearing down the road, Devil on my tail
Told you not to love me, Told you I’d bail
Kittens and daisies, Picnics and wine
Loving me, baby, is all very good
Till the day I walk, and you’re no longer mine
—Devil on My Tail
There’s a door in the back
At the back of this bar
Death waits there
Even leaves it ajar
Don’t wander there, boy
Don’t dance too close, son
Else the Devil’ll come take you
’Fore the night’s even done
The Devil’s waiting for me behind that door.
She’s got my heart, lay waste to my soul.
Nothing I do can make her let me go.
Hard to touch a heart as black as coal.
—Devil’s Waiting
Her tears are long gone, stained with ice and despair,
And no one knows why. ’Cause they sure don’t care.
A rose on her stone gave me grace from above.
The dirt on my hands is as cold as her love.
—Dirt and Stone
Sucking on a razor’s edge
The blood in my mouth isn’t mine
Why does my heartache taste of you?
When you walked away just fine.
—Dislocated
Make mine a double,
And keep them coming, baby girl
Leave out the ice,
And drop off the bottle too
I’m drinking to forget
I’ll drink ’till I bleed
Tonight’s going to be long
That bottle’s all I need
—Double Shot Dance
My blood has whispers of you
Stars caught in the red
I’ve held on to every memory of us
Held onto everything you’ve ever said
I can’t live without you
I breathe, I eat but it is all grey
Baby, can’t you see that without you
I’m dying a little every day
—Dying Without You
You act like I’m the only sinner you know.
And say I’m someone who sets your skin on fire.
But I know different, little girl.
I know other men who’d call you a liar.
—Empty Promises
Every day
I am one step closer to the box
Every moment
I am one step further away from you
Every breath
Is one we will never share again
Every night
There’s a darkness of one instead of two
—Every Darkness Follows
We held on to each other
In the rain and at the dawn
People told us we wouldn’t make it
Said we’d die off and be gone
I’m here for every step
Every inch of every mile
Down to our very last breath
Till it hurts too much to smile
—Every Mile
Wings under my skin,
Fighting to break free.
I need a razor to cut them out,
So I can live to as I’m meant to be.
A drop of music, A sip of wine.
Watch the sky when I fall
I’m sure I’ll be fine.
—Falling
Splash of wine, sip of gin
Twisted metal ’round my heart
And nobody wins
Fire coming down hard
Coming hard from above
Skin torched clean off my bones
And my soul’s done scarred.
—Fire and Bones
You say you’re done with me
But every time I turn around
I see your shadow
Keeping us forever bound
I can feel you near
Haunting a few steps behind
A ghost I cannot shake
A nightmare I cannot find
—Forever Bound
They say I’m nobody to fear
And no one to love,
Soul blacker than ink.
Sin fits like a glove.
And the soft damning whispers,
Follow me where ever I go.
They can’t hear me crying.
Even as they kill me real slow.
—Forgotten Son
Four damned sinners went into the rain
Strings bleeding red, soaking up their pain.
Sky fell apart, piercing their souls,
Night closed down, shadows filling the holes.
One woke up, And then there were two
Sun came back out, the sky black and blue
Too bright to be warm, too sharp to be kind,
Missing twin shadows, by the two left behind.
—Four Sinners Gone Walking
Don’t talk to me about your God
I don’t need your broken bread
Not for my soul
Not for my heart
Not for my countless sins
You want to give me something?
Something to save my wicked soul?
Give me the same as you’ve got
Loving who I want, and leaving me alone.
—Freedom Torn
He found me on a staircase of steel.
Nowhere near Heaven, a Devil making a deal.
Come on down, son, my Satan said with a grin.
Come with me and we’ll make Sinner’s Gin.
—Gin and Demonic
Picked up a piece of silver from the ground,
Used it to end a bit of my strife.
If I’d known I’d need it to get into Heaven,
I’d have carried it with me all of my life.
—Going Over The River
She walks through dreams
Childhood wishes on stars
A faint echo of a woman
Look for her in dives and bars
Familiar stranger
To fill a hole in my heart
Never been toge
ther
Never been apart
—Hole in My Heart
Shaking your ass down Broadway
Walking tight down the ole street line
Got a wink for the boys
Nasty smile that’s just fine
Boy you’ve got some balls
Teasing cock as you go by
Better get some man to love you
Before you lose that sexy shine
—Hustle and Wink
The stars are crying
It’s like the world knows you’re gone.
Slipping away and sliding on,
The shadows hold your voice
I keep hearing you on the wind
Either come back to my side
Or leave me the hell alone
—In Blue Notebook Margins, Page 82
Sliding around in my dreams
Your inky black kiss
Staining my life
With something I’ll never miss
You pushed yourself into me
Down deep into my soul
Wish I could dig you out
Burn you till I’m whole
—Ink Black Kiss
I slide into the crack of midnight
Forgotten, broken, Bitten and torn
Just need to survive what you do to me
Just need to see the morn
I lit all the candles
Given to me by a man
Who told me to pray
God has me in his hand
You came anyway
Walking through the flame and smoke
I’ll never get back my innocence
I’ll never get back what you took
—Innocence Lost
When you said you loved me, I believed you.
Then when you needed to be free, I deceived you.
—Junie’s Lies
Hey baby girl, smiling at me so wide.
Much too young for what you have in mind.
Come see me in a few years, and then we can talk.
I’ll show you how to scream, scream yourself blind.
—Keep Walking
I found a letter you left me
Words written when we were in love
Every pen stroke a forgotten dream
All of your promises were broken
Shattered as clean as my heart
I don’t know why hurt me
I don’t know why the thought of you still does
If I could have one thing in the world
It would be to forget what you looked like
It would be to forget how we loved
—Letter from Nowhere
When Death took you, I didn’t notice.
You left me behind you.
In the rain.
Tossed aside without looking back.
Now you’re back in my dreams, telling me you’re sorry.
I need Death to come and take you back again.
—Letter to My Mother
I promised to take you, take you to the stars.
Way past Pluto, once we clear Mars.
We’ll dance in the black,
and I will right all my wrongs,
And before our fall from Heaven,
we’ll sing our old songs.
So long that we’ve danced, we’ll forget how they go,
Mumble a few words, then bask in our glow.
I’ll teach you to fly, And you’ll teach me to win.
Made me survive, and taught me to sin.
—Letters D and S
Locking down my heart
After I’m done with you
I’ve run the course of our love
There’s nothing left to do
Can’t listen to your lies
Won’t let you into my life
Gave you everything I had
Your love’s like a knife
—Lock and Stab
The road holds no life
Nothing to keep me warm
Hotel rooms bleached and fallow
Strings leaving my tips all torn
Just one more day without you
Another day gone in time
I’m another step away from you, baby
Please don’t forget that you’re mine
—Love Letter to the Lost
Metal on my fingers
Whiskey on my mind
Singing a tune to my baby
Wasting none of my time
Flip the record on that turntable
Pull the rug from the middle of the floor
Gonna spend the night with my baby
Send my blues out through that door
—Keeping Back The Blues
A marble bowl was my coffin
Woke up to find my life dead
Thought I’d stopped my breathing
But it was our love that died instead
God I wish every other waking hour
I could spare a minute or two
Sometimes I think it should be me
Sleeping that final death, not you
—Marble Coffins
Moonshine and ice
Bathtub swill and broken dreams
Climbing up on a stairway
Made of nightmares and pain
A slip of my hand
Wet blood on a rung
Hitting the stone down beneath me
Made me think ’bout what I’ve done
Thought about how I’ve hurt you
How deep and how long
Can’t ask to forgive me
Since I’ve done you so wrong
—Moonshine and Ice
Stealing our money
Diluting our minds
Taking from the forgotten
Beaten for no crime
You tell me to watch my mouth
Spit on me and tell me to drown
I’m telling you Jack
To watch your own ass
Always getting back up
Just so I can take you down
—My Life, Not Yours
Shove me into a corner
Strip me of my pride
Lay me down on a bed of nails
Pry me open up wide
Show me the way to Hell
Keep me from Heaven’s Gate
Break my heart so I can’t love
Leave me alone in your black hate
—Nail Me In
You’ve danced around us for far too long
Hooked your fingers into my soul
You flirt and wink, pulling me along
What you want us to be
Just ain’t going to last
I’ll take a sip of your mouth
Then I’ll be walking out fast
—No Good Johnny
Fortunes left on paper
Iron grate at my back
Handful of songs in my pockets
You pulled me up from the black
Dragons on the streets
Fireworks in the sky
We’ve gone and come full circle
A curl of time gone by
Sinners at the Crossroads
An X in the road
Sipping gin, counting time
Getting ready to explode
—’Nother Sip of Gin
One moon, a thousand stars
Crack open the sky for me
Point me towards Mars
Leaving you a bit of my soul
Hold on to it tight
’Cause nothing’s forever, baby,
Not even tonight.
—One Thousand Stars
I came into this world, not knowing where I’ve been
You came into my life, working down into my skin
I fell in love once, with a man who loves me still
You’ve been loving him since birth,
And probably always will
We dance around each other
A mongoose and a snake
You grab and hold and cherish
So tight that I might break
&
nbsp; Can’t you see your love, is as poisonous as your bite?
You tell me to let you love me,
And I’m afraid I one day might.
—Orange notebook #3, Page #5
Rain on the glass, reminds me of you
A sip of hot chocolate, a song played in blue
Lyrics written on a postcard
Melody slick, deep and charred
Anyone not loving you
Ain’t trying that hard
Shout at the moon, dance in the rain
Give me your heart, I’ll keep back the pain
—Rain and the Blues
Red light, torn jeans
Filthy sheets by the hour
Aching feet, dirty greens
All of the work, none of the power
A skip along a white line
A snip of ice in my vein
Opens up the sky for a bit
Helps me forget all of my pain
—Reality Mirrored
People talk about tears
About the agony they’ve cried
They made you salted ground,
Left to fallow, dead inside
Made you wear their pain
Right on your broken skin
Covering in ink and blood
Doesn’t hide them from within
—Reclaiming of D
Got shadows on my ass
Time’s not on my side
Life came to give me a kiss
Then Death took me for a ride
—Riding A Pale Horse
Sour mash and cheap wine
Smokestack lightning, bathtub gin
Took me for a slow ride
Damn woman ’most done me in
Popping corks in long black limos
Champagne giggles and lots of skin
Breaking hearts more than a million times
