Broken Ever After

by Natalie Graham

  I kept my gaze fixed on the knot of his tie rather than look up at his face; it was easier to be near him if I didn’t look directly at him. He swallowed hard, drawing my attention to his throat; my mind automatically going to that dark place where my lips where running up his throat, my tongue flicking over his skin to taste him as I sat atop of him.

  “Last night-”

  “Won’t. Happen. Again.” I cut him off, assuring him firmly. The corner of his mouth twitched to smile subtly again as he towered over me, backing me further into the corner.

  “It won’t happen again or I won’t catch you again?” I nodded my head. “Which one?” His left eyebrow rose slightly with the question.

  “The first one.”

  “Really? You won’t ever do that again?” I shook my head at him. “You’re telling me that after I just visually fucked you up there, you’re not dying to lock yourself away back in your bedroom and feel what I’ve done to you? You don’t want to do it over and over again?” He moved his hand from the wall to my face, his index finger stroked over my burning hot cheek down to lift my chin. I tried to look away from him but he gripped me with his finger and thumb, holding me in place before he stooped down to whisper in my ear. “Because I’d really love it if you did.” His hot breath fanning over my ear made a shiver ripple through my body.

  The lift glided to a standstill as it reached the lobby, the ping echoing through my ears. Riley dropped his hand, quickly buttoned his jacket and turned leaving me behind. I dived through the closing doors, following Riley out to the car sat by the curb.

  Putting his hand on the door handle, he turned back to me. “Have you changed your mind yet?” I shook my head as he opened up the car for me. “You will.” He stated confidently before closing the door on me.

  “Urgh he’s obnoxious.” I muttered to myself as I fastened my seatbelt. Logan’s laughter from the driver’s seat broke through my thoughts.

  “That’s what all the girls say.” Logan quipped.

  “Huh?”

  “Girls are usually falling over themselves to hire him.” He shook his head and turned around to face me. “Austin tells me we need to collect some things from your parents then you’d like to visit your boyfriend’s house?” I nodded.

  ***

  Mum and dad were nowhere to be seen. I found a note pinned to the kitchen board telling me they were called to hospital for an accident and they would come to Austin’s when they could. I quickly packed a few things before running back out to Logan.

  When we arrived at Jamie’s I noticed one of his cars out in the driveway which was odd. He said he never left them out unless he was using them, so he must have been awake. Was he avoiding me? I knocked on the door but he never answered. I chanced the handle to find the door unlocked.

  Stepping inside I called out to Jamie and Anna to see if they were around, but no one replied. I popped my head into the lounge, noticing the table covered in beer bottles. In two places. I turned back to head for the stairs when I noticed a pair of shoes, beautiful black stilettoes, laid askew by the bottom step. I quickly ran up with a tight knot forming in my stomach.

  “Jamie?” I called once more as I pushed open his bedroom door.

  He stood beside his bed, hopping into his jeans with a t-shirt around his neck, half pulled on.

  “Baby it’s not what it looks like, I promise! I swear it, Liv.” My eyebrows furrowed not following what he meant until I looked to the other side of the bed to see a girl with long blonde hair stood in her bra and panties shimmying back into her very short denim skirt and equally revealing top laid out on the bed.

  My hand flew up to my mouth to hold in the sob threatening to break through my lips. No. No. This isn’t happening. This is so not happening. I took an involuntary step back.

  “No, Liv don’t go. Let me explain.” I took another step back. “No! Olivia wait!”

  “Oh just let her go.” my head snapped back to the girl, stood smiling at me as she pulled her top down. I couldn’t stand to listen to any more of his pleas. I turned and ran as fast as my legs could carry me down the stairs.

  “Olivia! Don’t go!” Jamie chased me, but stopped as he reached the gravel driveway with his bare feet. Logan saw me running towards him and started the car. As soon as I shut the door he hit the accelerator heading for the gates. I felt like I was having a Cinderella moment as they began to close but Logan made it through with an inch to spare. I looked behind to see Jamie run back out of the house pulling his fingers through his hair while he yelled after me.

  I threw myself down over the seat, taking my mind to that safe place where nothing bad ever happened. I imagined sitting in the long grass by an easy river, birds humming in the trees, leaves rustling in the summer breeze as I made daisy chains. I hadn’t made daisy chains since I was six. I looked up from my pile of flowers to see that the weather had changed. It was cloudy and cold, the river ran noisily over the rocks and I shivered. I could hear my name being called but looking around I couldn’t see who was looking for me.

  Don’t find me. Please don’t find me. A rustling in the trees startled me enough that it sent me right back out of my… sleep? I fell asleep? It was just a dream.

  I looked around to find that I was on my bed, safe. A hand trailed down my back over my hair. I became aware that I was leaning on someone and sat bolt upright.

  “Hey… Are you ok?” I was totally disorientated, being in the car one minute and waking up on Riley’s lap. I pulled away from him slightly, his hand slipped from my hair to rest on my lower back. “Wanna tell me what happened?” I furrowed my eyebrows at him for a second before realisation hit me. Jamie. Her. I shook my head as tears welled up in my eyes.

  “He was- there was- they were-”

  “Heeyy, easy, just breathe ok? Just breathe.” He pulled me back to his chest, cradling my head as I cried; I nodded and tried to breathe through my sobs. Once I managed to calm down I was able to tell him what had happened.

  “Want me to go beat him up for you?” I feigned a smile and shook my head. “You sure? I could probably twist him like a pretzel and you wouldn’t even recognise him.” I shook my head again and wiped my eyes, attempting to pull myself together.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be crying to you.” I pulled myself up again and moved from his lap, desperately needing away from his gorgeous aftershave.

  “I don’t mind. It’s my job to make sure you’re ok.”

  “It’s your job to make sure I’m safe, not that my mental stability is intact. Which right now, I’m not so sure that it is.” I could feel tears threatening to fall again.

  “So let’s pretend that I’ve not been hired by your uncle, let’s pretend I’m just your friend. What would you say?”

  “I’d ask if you were gay.” He guffawed, almost falling from my bed with his laughter.

  “What- where- where the hell did that come from?” I smiled watching him try to control his laughter.

  “Because you’re too hot for girls to just be friends with.” That stopped him laughing. He was watching me intently, like he was waiting to make a move. His lips parted as his breath hitched, his fingers twitched on his knee. I stood from the bed quickly and began pacing the length of my room. “In all seriousness, I never thought he’d be like that. After everything he said. After what we-” did, I added silently. He was my first. My first for a lot of things and I now hated myself for giving them to him so willingly. “Remind me to steer clear of seemingly shy and charming millionaires. Apparently they are a bunch of dirt bags like the rest of them. I should have realised he’d be hiding more than just money.” I pulled at my hair. “God I’m so stupid! How could I have been so bloody stupid?”

  “He deceived you; you can’t blame yourself for that.” He winced with his words; I did too.

  “I should be used to that, people have a habit of it. I just didn’t think he’d…” I sighed, pulling at my hair again. Anger took over me instead of grief as my footsteps became quick
er and heavier. “I told him everything. Everything.” I felt like hitting something. I needed to work out my frustration on something. I turned, my gaze landing back on Riley. He had lost the lustful look that he’d had earlier, but as I stood staring at him it soon came back. Could I really use him as a distraction and get back at Jamie at the same time? The doorbell ringing broke me out of those thoughts.

  “I’ll go see who it is. You stay in here, ok?” I nodded and followed him to the door. “If it’s him, do you want me to get rid of him?” I nodded again.

  “I don’t want to see him. Ever.” Riley left my room calling building security as he walked to answer the door, I could tell from the frantic thumping on it that it was Jamie. I kept my door open just an inch so that I could listen to them.

  “Where is she?” Jamie yelled at Riley.

  “She doesn’t want to see you.”

  “Olivia!” Jamie called out for me. “Get your hands off me! Olivia!” I stepped out of my room against better judgement and walked towards the door. Riley had Jamie pinned against the wall, trapping his hands behind his back.

  “I’ve asked you nicely to leave, but you’ve given me no choice but to forcibly remove you. She doesn’t-”

  “Why are you here, Jamie?” Riley looked round to me, glaring at me.

  “Baby, I just wanna talk.”

  “So talk, you have thirty seconds before Riley kicks you out of that door and hands your arse to building security.”

  “I didn’t do what you think I did, Olivia. I didn’t sleep with her. I mean, yeah I slept with her.” Tears pricked my eyes again.

  “Get out.”

  “No, Olivia, I only slept with her. She’s practically my baby sister, Liv! All we did was sleep!”

  “So why when I walked in were you both dancing back into your fucking underwear, Jamie?”

  “That’s not what was happening! We-”

  “I don’t want to hear any more! I want you to leave! Get out!” I screamed. Riley pulled him to the door, as I turned and ran to my room.

  I curled myself up into a ball on my bed, willing myself not to cry. Willing myself not to think about Jamie; willing myself not to think about anything at all.

  A dip in my bed startled me. “He’s gone. Are you ok?”

  “Yeah.” I sat up and pushed my hair away from my face, folding my legs underneath me. “I just- I want to be alone.” I looked up at him and smiled weakly.

  “Let me know if you need anything, ok?” I nodded and watched him leave.

  SEVENTEEN

  I was slowly driving myself crazy staring at the walls of my bedroom. After what seemed like my thousandth sigh, I pulled myself up from my bed, grabbed one of my new bikinis from my wardrobe and changed. I poked my head out of my room, listening for Riley before sneaking out of the apartment. I jumped in the lift, hammering on the button for the basement before Riley had realised I’d gone.

  The pool in the basement was empty so I quickly shimmied back out of my shorts and top, kicking my shoes to the side. I leaped in to the water and swam, focussing all of my energy on the next kick of my legs, the next rotation of my arms and tumble turn against the ends. I got to my fifth length before thoughts of Jamie crashed through my mind. Why was I letting this hurt so much? We’d hardly been together any time at all to be this distraught over it. It’s not even like we said we’d be exclusive or anything. Sure he’d asked me to be his girlfriend so I’d thought exclusivity was implied, but he never said he had any intention of me being the only one. Did he even love me like he said he did? Was it just a ploy to fill his time? Or fulfilling a fantasy of bedding one of his students and no one finding out?

  I’d lost count of how many lengths I’d swam after the twenty-fifth, but I’d come to the conclusion that I no longer cared what the hell Jamie was doing. He could go and be the fucking playboy he’d been hiding from me. He’d used me and expected me not to find out. Well fuck him! Fuck him to Hell. I was done caring.

  I pushed myself for two more lengths, before pulling myself up to lay on to the side, breathless. Standing up I noticed I wasn’t alone any more. Riley sat on the end of a lounger, legs apart resting his elbows on his knees, with his hands clasped together in front of him. Watching me.

  “How long have you been here?” He remained silent, his face neutral. I walked over to him wringing out my hair, to pick up my towel and clothes from between his feet. “Can I have my things?” He didn’t move, he just continued to look up at me with that blank stare. “So you’re not talking? Awesome.” I said sarcastically as I bent down to retrieve my shorts and top, throwing them onto the next lounger.

  “Do you have any idea how dangerous it is to not tell me where you are going when you leave? Do you have any idea what could happen to you if someone finds you? Alone and dressed in that” He gestured to my top.

  “What’s wrong with my t-shirt?”

  “Nothing, I meant that fucking bikini” I bristled at his tone.

  “Why do guys have such problems with bikinis?”

  “We don’t. It’s controlling ourselves when we see hot girls in them that we have problems with.” He took a deep breath, clearly biting his tongue to stop himself from saying anything else. He thinks I’m hot? Is that was he was saying?

  “Well, you can rest assured that from now on, every time I plan to blink I’ll let you know.” I huffed pulling my Converse back on. “May I blink?” I stared at him raising my eyebrow. When he never answered me I stormed back out to the lift, scrunching my eyes closed against the stinging sensation from not blinking.

  ***

  Resigning myself to the fact that I was trapped in the apartment for the time being, I sat on the sofa with my sketch pad in my lap, twirling my pencil through my fingers as I tried to think of something to draw. I didn’t even feel like drawing but I couldn’t think of anything better to do; TV was rubbish, nothing was happening online, going out without a chaperone was out of the question. I gazed across the room to see Riley sat at the large dining table looking over the daily newspaper, his finger tracing over the rim of a can of coke.

  “Some job if you get to sit around all day.” I muttered to myself.

  “What was that?” He asked, not looking up from his paper.

  “Nothing.” I could hear his huff from across the room as he continued reading. I looked between my blank page and Riley’s still form bent over the table and began to let my pencil wander over the paper effortlessly, tracing his outline. His face was beautifully illuminated by the large windows. I sketched his perfectly styled hair, his arched eyebrows that furrowed with concentration as he read; his piercing blue eyes and straight nose to his wonderfully kissable lips that were parted slightly as he mouthed the words he was reading and his jawline that looked like it could chisel granite.

  I was almost finished, looking up one last time to make sure I’d captured him perfectly when I saw that he was no longer there; his paper lay open on the table.

  “You drew me?” His voice startled me from behind the sofa.

  “Jesus, Riley!” I thrust my hand over my heart feeling its quickened rhythm under my palm. “Didn’t your mother ever teach you it’s rude to sneak up on people?”

  “No.” He answered simply before sitting beside me on the sofa. “Didn’t your mother teach you it’s rude to stare at people?” I childishly poked my tongue out at him.

  “No. That would imply that she actually spent time with me.” He snorted at my response.

  “Mummy issues much?”

  “Oh shut up, Riley.” I scowled. “What kind of name is Riley anyway? I thought you were Scottish?” I asked as I flipped to a blank page and started to doodle flowers.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Well it doesn’t sound very Scottish” he laughed as he snatched my sketch pad from my lap and flipped back to the previous page.

  “And you don’t look very Greek but I’m no questioning you on your surname am I?” I giggled at the way he said Greek
, earning a strange look from him. Oh God, just keep talking.

  “Well it’s just not what I expected. So where are you from?”

  “Wales” he replied sarcastically.

  “You’re hilarious.” I said dryly.

  “Glasgow.”

  “Oh, like Uncle Frank?” He bristled slightly as he turned back further in my pad looking through other drawings that I had done. “Did you know him before you started working with the company? Is that how you got the job?”

  “Do you know there are about half a million people in Glasgow? Probably more.” He gave me an incredulous look before closing my pad and throwing it back into my lap. “Those are really good by the way.” He patted my knee and stood, walking away to his room. He turned by the hallway to call over his shoulder. “You should keep that last one by your bed at night, good visualisation.” My eyes widened in shock at his reference to the previous night. I launched my pad towards him but he retreated quickly, laughing as he went to his room.

  I received a call from Uncle Austin a while later to inform me that he wouldn’t be home for dinner and more than likely wouldn’t be home at all. He’d had another call from his mystery woman and he was planning on staying with her again. I sighed as I realised that I was cramping his style by staying with him. No guy wants his teenage niece hanging around when he’s trying to be with his new girlfriend. Total buzz kill.

  Austin said he’d left some cash on his desk if I wanted to get a take-away, after my stomach rumbled for the fourth time I decided I’d go and see what Riley would like to eat. I headed down the hallway and stopped outside of his door; I was about to knock when I heard him talking on the phone.

  “Yeah, everything’s going ok. All according to plan. I know that. The end of the week? Jesus. Right, ok. I said OK! Aye, catch ya later.” I heard something bang before he yelled a string of colourful words. I decided I’d give him a minute to calm down and grabbed my iPad to look up the menus of local restaurants. I pulled up a few as I wasn’t sure what he’d like and knocked on his door. He swung it open to reveal himself in that pair of jeans and nothing else, his hair slightly damp from the shower again, with a towel hanging over his shoulder. My mouth dried instantly; I tried to swallow but my stubborn throat refused to work.