An Officer, a Baby and a Bride

by Tracy Madison

  Except Rebecca had seemed uncomfortable and distracted from the second he picked her up all the way through dinner. Which she’d barely eaten four bites of. Seth knew this for fact, because he’d counted every lift of the fork to her gorgeous berry-painted mouth. Now, she was in the restroom “freshening up,” and he was rethinking his plans for the remainder of their date.

  A couple of blankets were stashed in the trunk of his car, along with a bottle of sparkling grape juice. Seeing how they were near the South Park Blocks, a twelve-block stretch of city park in the heart of downtown Portland, his thought had been to take an early evening stroll. Perhaps find a picturesque spot to lay out the blanket, so they could relax and…hell, do whatever couples did on blankets in the middle of a park.

  Cuddle, he supposed. He’d never really thought of himself as a cuddly type of a guy, especially in public, especially when wearing a suit he’d borrowed from Grady. But for Rebecca, he’d cuddle. And, yeah, he’d probably like it. Unfortunately, the lady didn’t appear to be enjoying herself, so Seth was having second thoughts on the park, the stroll and the blanket.

  He’d also considered broaching the topic of Jesse, of Rebecca’s fears regarding Seth’s career. But that particular subject would suck the romance clean out of any night, so he’d stuck that on the back burner, as well. They needed to have that conversation, though. Soon. Before she made a decision without hearing him out.

  Lost in thought, he patted the suit jacket pocket where the diamond ring resided. The evening’s plans hadn’t definitely included another stab at a proposal, but he kept the ring with him all of the time now. That way, if a moment felt right, he’d have it close at hand.

  Tonight did not, in any way whatsoever, feel right.

  The waiter approached with the credit card folder and Rebecca’s leftovers, gave the normal thanks-for-joining-us spiel and hurried off to see to another table. Seth was replacing his credit card in his wallet when Rebecca carefully slid into her chair.

  “How are you feeling, sweetheart?” Seth asked, concerned by what he saw.

  “I’m feeling like a moose,” Rebecca joked. “But other than that, just dandy.”

  “You’re beautiful and sexy and do not resemble a moose.” All true. The long, clingy black dress she wore hugged her curves and showed off the perfect amount of tantalizing cleavage. She was, to Seth’s way of thinking, beyond exquisite. “You also look a little pale. And you didn’t eat very much.”

  “I think the baby has shifted or something, because I haven’t had much of an appetite all day. But the food was wonderful, and I love that you thought to bring me here.”

  “You’re sure that’s all it is?”

  “Sure enough. Remember, I’ve never been pregnant before, so this is all as new to me as it is to you.” Reaching across the small table, she grasped his hand. “I’m okay. I promise to tell you instantly if that changes.”

  “Good.” He kissed the back of her hand. “I had planned a walk in the park, but maybe we should head home and relax for the rest of the evening.”

  “You planned a walk in the park?” she asked, her warm and sultry voice holding a hint of anticipation. “Oh, that sounds…romantic. I’d like to go.”

  Seth studied her, noting the gleam in her eyes and the new flush of excitement coloring her cheeks. Letting go of her hand, he nodded and patted his pocket again, felt the outline of the ring and smiled. Perhaps there was some romance left in this evening, after all.

  “Then, darling,” he said with a wink, “that’s exactly what we’ll do.”

  * * *

  They left the restaurant to stroll hand in hand through two and a half blocks of the twelve that made up the city park. Along the way, they chatted casually about possible baby names and stopped here and there to appreciate some of the artwork the park featured.

  Mostly, Rebecca had enjoyed the walk, even with the persistent, nagging ache in her lower back. They were currently nestled on a thick, wool blanket that Seth had spread out on the grass, in a clearing between several of the park’s massive elms. Rebecca was cradled between Seth’s legs, using his body to support hers, while he supported his against a tree trunk.

  Every aspect of this evening should have filled her with a romantic glow. It hadn’t because an internal debate had raged all through dinner. As she picked at her fettuccine, she came to the undeniable conclusion that to truly take power over her own life, she needed to learn more about Seth’s life.

  She had allowed fear to be her guiding force, which was bad enough. Worse, she’d allowed uninformed fear to be the motivating factor in a decision she regretted over and above any other decision she’d ever made. It was a huge mistake, almost beyond redemption.

  Learning from that mistake meant she had to become informed before contemplating a future with Seth. But yeah, doing so scared her.

  In addition, there were practical elements that needed to be taken into consideration. Her job was here. His job was wherever the Air Force sent him. Everything she’d ever known and loved were all in Portland. Except now she loved Seth, and Seth couldn’t make his home here. To really be with him, she’d have to give up everything and face the fears that haunted her.

  The whole of it might be a good deal more than she was capable of, especially with a child to raise. But she wouldn’t know—couldn’t know—until she began the journey.

  And she might as well get started now.

  “I know you fly for the Air Force but I don’t really know what that entails,” she said in what she hoped passed for a light, breezy tone. “Maybe we could talk about that for a few minutes? If you’re allowed to, I mean.”

  “Sweetie, I’m not a spy.” Seth’s fingers, which had been playing with her hair, stilled. “I’ve been wanting to discuss my job. What is it you’d like to know?”

  “Um.” A spasm of pain flickered in Rebecca’s back, followed by painless tightening in her stomach. Braxton Hicks, she figured, brought on by the walk. “What do you fly?”

  “I pilot C-17s. Or, officially, the C-17A Globemaster.” He kissed the top of her head. “This might disappoint you, but C-17s are transport aircraft. So if you were thinking I’m the real-life version of Tom Cruise from Top Gun, that isn’t the case.”

  “Oh.” Huh. “Well, I know that, silly. Tom Cruise’s character wasn’t in the Air Force.”

  “True.” Seth’s laugh had a forced ring to it. “But that wasn’t what I meant.”

  Pressing her head against Seth’s chest, she tried to relax. “What do you transport?”

  “Troops, obviously. Equipment and weapons.” He squeezed her shoulder, and when he spoke again, she heard his pride in every softly uttered syllable. “C-17s are called on for tactical airlift, humanitarian aid, airdrop and medical evacuation missions throughout the world.”

  “You really love what you do, don’t you?”

  “I get to fly, which is all I’ve ever wanted, but it’s something really special to do what you love and know you’re making a difference.”

  “I can see that. I think that’s great, Seth.” And so different from her career, where she sat at a desk and crunched numbers every day. “Is that why you were in Afghanistan?”

  “No. Well, sometimes.” Seth shifted behind her. “C-17 pilots aren’t typically sent to Afghanistan. What I did there was somewhat of an aberration from my normal duties.”

  “What did you do there, then?”

  “I was there as part of a planning cell,” he said after a brief hesitation. “We were tasked with setting up and expediting the transport of troops and supplies, as this particular area had faced some problems. Due to the extenuating issues, we were also tasked to develop procedure for and open communication with…a certain section of the local population.”

  “That sounds interesting.” But also, Rebecca guessed, risky. Shivering
, she recalled something Seth had said months ago. “In October, you mentioned you were here to recoup from a mission. What happened?” Every part of Seth’s body that touched hers tensed. “Maybe I shouldn’t have asked—”

  “It’s okay.” He exhaled a short, sharp breath. “Several of us had to go off base to meet with a local leader. We’d made the trip before without incident,” he said in a methodical, almost mechanical beat that somehow chilled Rebecca another degree. “But this time…”

  Now, she knew she didn’t want to hear this. But she needed to. “Go on.”

  “The vehicle ahead of mine was struck by an improvised explosive device. An IED, Becca. We suffered injuries and one fatality.” Seth pushed out another breath, this one long and agonized. “In October, before I came here, I attended a funeral.”

  “I’m sorry.” Tears sparked behind Rebecca’s eyes. He’d never said one word about this to her. “So you were friends with…with—?”

  “It’s different over there.” Seth braced his hands on the blanket. “The folks you work with, eat with, hang out with everyday, become a family. Even those you might not like so well under normal circumstances become important. We’re all there for the same reason. When one of us… When we lose one, it’s like having your own heart ripped out. It’s always hard. It’s always wrong even if what you’re there for is right.”

  “You were friends, weren’t you?” An old sadness welled within Rebecca, along with new grief for Seth. “What was his name?”

  “Rick,” Seth said thickly. “And yeah, we were friends.”

  “You haven’t mentioned him.” Of course, she hadn’t talked about Jesse, either. Not until he was brought into the open by her sister. “How come?”

  “I don’t know.” Seth tensed again. “Maybe I’ve gotten really good at compartmentalizing my life and the different roles within my life. I think about him, though. Not as much as right after it happened, and not obsessively, but he’s still in my head.”

  “Of course he is.” Rebecca understood that completely. She also understood Seth’s vehicle could have been struck by the IED. “But doesn’t the way Rick died make you angry?”

  “I’m not happy about it, Becca. He was my friend, and yeah, I wish what happened hadn’t. But I remind myself he was doing what he wanted to do.” A rough-around-the-edges laugh emerged. “And hell, Rick would hate any of us getting sappy. He’d want to know if we accomplished what we set out to, and then he’d clap each of us on the back and say, ‘Carry on!’ That was Rick. That’s what I think about.”

  “But it could have been you,” she said, her grief spilling out. “You could have been in that vehicle that day. Or another day. Or—” She stopped, caught her breath and resituated herself, attempting to alleviate the discomfort in her back. “You were in a place where you could have been hurt…killed at almost any given moment. Am I wrong?”

  “The majority of the time, I was in fairly safe conditions.”

  “Seth, come on.”

  “I suppose you’re right,” he said flatly. “Anything could have happened.”

  His response burned into her like acid, but she’d known the truth before she asked. If she hadn’t wanted to hear, then she should’ve kept her mouth shut.

  Hating herself for pushing the topic, but unable to stop the words from pouring out, she asked, “Is there a woman somewhere whose life was shattered when Rick…when he died? Children? People who loved him and miss him?”

  “Rick had a wife and two kids. A boy and a girl,” Seth admitted quietly, almost with an air of defeat. “Yes, he had people who loved him. People who wish he’d made it home.”

  “But he didn’t. And their lives are forever changed.”

  “Yes. But sweetheart,” he said, “I made it home. I’m here with you now, aren’t I?”

  “For two more weeks. What will happen then? When you leave, I mean. What is your life like when you’re not deployed as part of a planning cell?”

  “I’ll probably pilot a mission every eighteen to twenty-four hours.” His body relaxed at the change in topic. “Every now and then, a longer mission will come up, meaning I could be gone from a few days to several months. There’s training and simulations. Inspections.”

  “Several months?” Gritting her teeth, Rebecca waited out another painless flare of pressure. “How often does that happen?”

  “It varies,” he said, moving his hand to rub the swell of her stomach. “But if I decide…if all goes well, I’ll be pinned major soon and my responsibilities will change.”

  “In what way?”

  “Depends. Much of what I do will become more administrative. Meetings. Filling out forms.” Seth cleared his throat. “If I’m made Assistant Director of Operations, I’ll help oversee the day-to-day operations of the squadron. But the point is, and this is what I really need you to hear, my risk level is low and will only get lower as I rise in rank.”

  She heard him. She did. And okay, a lot of what he said made sense and eased her worries. But the fact of the matter was, “Your job, regardless of what you do in the Air Force, will always hold more risk than say…an accountant or…I don’t know, a teacher. Even if what you’re doing isn’t all that risky, places you might be sent to could be dangerous.”

  “I can’t deny that.” Seth spoke in obvious aggravation. “I wish I could. But…hell, Becca, a bus driver lives with more risk than a teacher or an accountant. Actually, strike that. I’d have to say that some teachers live with more risk than a lot of other professions. You can’t wipe out risk. You can’t live a risk-free life.”

  “But you can lower it,” she argued.

  “Sure,” he agreed. “But to what extent? I’d rather do what I love than lock myself in a room afraid of the world. Bad stuff can happen anywhere at any time.”

  She opened her mouth, knowing he was right but still intent on getting her point across, when her stomach contracted hard enough that she couldn’t speak. Hurt enough that she couldn’t think, either. All she could do was stay still and breathe.

  “Um, babe? Your stomach is as hard as a rock.” Now, Seth’s tenor held equal amounts of concern and curiosity. “Is this one of those practice contractions we learned about?”

  Sickening fear and worry crawled into Rebecca’s throat, almost choking her. “I thought so at first, when it all started. But now…now, I think maybe—just maybe—I’m in labor.”

  “What do you mean ‘when it all started’? How long have you been having contractions, Rebecca?” Seth barked in a take-charge sort of way. “When did they start?”

  “Earlier.” Lifting her hand, she waved it vaguely. “Over dinner, or right before. I’ve had back pain all day…so it’s unclear when this started. None of the contractions hurt until that one.”

  “Uh-huh. What happened to telling me the instant you weren’t okay?” Both of his hands were on her stomach now. “Would you say you’re having more than four contractions per hour?”

  “I didn’t think I wasn’t okay! And…um. God, I think so.” Crap. Just crap! “Yes. More than four.”

  “You didn’t think, not even once, that perhaps you should mention this to me?” he asked in a near-growl. “Perhaps while we ate dinner, or when we left the restaurant, or when we took a leisurely stroll through the friggin’ park?”

  His words and his tone began an indignant brew of mad and panic in her belly. What did he think? That she’d done this on purpose?

  “Hello? Are you serious? I’m the one who might be in labor here, bucko. Not you. So I don’t know why you’re upset with me, but all I was doing was trying to figure out what your life is normally like. And you know what? I’m sorry if this inconveniences you, but I certainly didn’t plan it, and…and…dammit! My back hurts.”

  She sort of whimpered that last part.

  “Shh, sweetheart. I’m shoc
ked, is all. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Seth moved so fast, her brain didn’t grasp his actions until he stood with her in his arms. How did he do that? “It’ll all be okay. I promise.”

  “Maybe this isn’t labor!” she half hollered, half moaned as Seth strode across the grass. “I could be wrong. I have to be wrong. We have four more weeks and I haven’t childproofed. We don’t have a name.” Grabbing Seth’s collar, she tugged. Hard. Hard enough he stopped to stare at her. “Our daughter needs a name. She needs a safe place to live and she needs a name. This isn’t supposed to happen this way!”

  And that was definitely a wail. Apparently, she’d turned into a crazy woman. An angry, whimpering, wailing insane person. Dignity, she told herself, conduct yourself with dignity.

  “She won’t be born walking. There’s time enough to choose a name and deal with childproofing,” Seth said calmly and clearly with his eyes steadily holding hers. He took off again then, keeping her tight in his grasp. “Right now, though, if you don’t mind and if there isn’t somewhere else you have to be, I’d like to get you to the hospital.”

  “The hospital is a fantastic idea,” she said, trying on the dignity thing for size. “Intelligent and well-thought out, considering the circumstances. You’re good under pressure.” Another breath-stealing contraction rippled through her abdomen. Forget dignity. Wailing was absolutely where it was at. “Why now? Why is she coming now when I’m not ready?”

  “Perhaps our daughter is impatient to meet us.” Seth smoothly deposited Rebecca on a park bench and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders.

  At that juncture, two very important facts materialized in Rebecca’s brain. One, her teeth were chattering and she hadn’t noticed until that second. And, “Why am I on a bench? I like the hospital idea, Seth. I love that idea. Let’s go that route.”

  Kneeling down in front of her, so they were face-to-face, Seth grasped both of her hands. “Listen to me, babe. I need to bring the car closer, so you don’t have to walk three blocks. And getting the car on my own will be quicker than if I carry you the whole way. But to do this, I need to leave you alone. I promise I’ll be fast. Will you be okay?”