Finding Lacey Moon

by Donya Lynne

  He shrugged. “Maybe it’s time I did. And you’re easy to talk to. That’s ‘why you.’” He paused and rotated his thumbs around one another. “I like you, Mattie.” He hesitated and seemed to hold his breath. “Probably more than I should.”

  The hard angles of his features evaporated. The rugged man still dwelled within, but he wore a much softer expression now than when she first met him. One filled with affection.

  “I like you, too.” Her breath trembled as she quietly added, “And, yes, probably more than I should.” What a gross understatement.

  He took her hand. “Then let me tell you my story, just so there’s no question about what really happened. And maybe because, finally, I need to put it behind me. Maybe talking about it will do that.” He grinned. “And then, hey, you’ll know all my secrets.”

  As she stared at his fingers around hers, she recalled what she’d told him at the diner last week, about how just because someone talked about him it didn’t mean they knew him or his secrets. “I can’t believe you’ve never told anyone about…” She sighed, letting her words drift off with a subtle shake of her head.

  “Nope…never. I’ve never discussed what happened with anyone. Not really, anyway.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t know. I mean, after the accident, I was in the hospital for weeks. At the time, there were more important things to deal with, and I wasn’t in any kind of shape to talk about much of anything, I was so hopped up on pain meds. By the time I was released, almost a month had passed, and I was more focused on dealing with and rehabbing my injuries than in rehashing that night, so it just kind of faded into the back of my mind.” He hesitated and glanced down at his hands. “And maybe I didn’t want to talk about it because I wasn’t ready to let it go.”

  “And you are now?” Lacey said softly.

  His lips parted as he glanced up and maintained steady eye contact. “Yeah, I think I am.”

  She was moved that he’d chosen her to be his sounding board, but at the same time, she knew what this meant. Scott saw her as more than just a passing infatuation, even though they’d only just met and were on their first date.

  But it didn’t feel like a first date. They’d seen each other so many times. At the skate park. At her cabin—twice. Once for dinner. At the diner the other night. All those times had felt sort of like dates. They’d been slowly getting to know each other, the undeniable attraction growing between them as the weeks passed.

  He was easy to talk to, easy to be around, and damn easy on the eyes.

  As she held his hand and listened, heart and mind open, he proceeded to explain how he’d come to Hope Falls the summer after his sophomore year. He told her about his parents’ land, how his older brother, Liam, had bought a portion of the land and opened McCord Cabin Rentals. How he had moved in with Liam and helped him out on weekends. That he had come to Hope Falls because of Theresa and ended up staying because of Savannah.

  Then he got to the gritty part. The part Shirl had summarized in dramatic flair. The part about what had happened before Savannah was born.

  “My senior year, I was awarded a full scholarship to play for the University of Oregon. I had my ticket. My dreams had come true.” His gaze lit on a faraway memory. “Everyone was already looking ahead to my professional career.” He paused. “Then Theresa told me she was pregnant. I was stunned. We’d been so careful, and she was on the pill. Or so I thought.” His lips pressed into a thin line as he took a deep breath through his nose. “We’d talked about getting married, but after I got accepted to Oregon, I’d begun to have doubts about our relationship and wasn’t sure I wanted to stay with her. She’d grown so clingy and dependent. Going off to college, where I could see if what I felt for Theresa was real or whether there was someone else in the world who fit me better, was coming at a good time. But after she told me she was pregnant, my decision was made. I’d been raised better than to leave her like that. I was nothing if not responsible. So, I agreed to marry her the summer after graduation and take her to Oregon with me. I would make it work.”

  Lacey sat quietly as he gathered steam to continue.

  “But a week before our wedding, Theresa told me the truth. She admitted that she’d gotten pregnant on purpose so I would have to stay with her. She knew the kind of person I was and that I wouldn’t abandon her if she was carrying my baby.”

  Lacey squeezed his hand.

  He smiled as if to reassure her. “I couldn’t believe she’d lied to me. That she’d made such an important decision without considering my feelings. That she was so selfish she would lie to get what she wanted, all the while changing my life forever. She used me.” His tight voice was edged with anger and disgust. “She ruined everything. One lie destroyed our lives. And it almost got me killed.”

  Lacey swallowed past the lump in her throat as he frowned down at their joined hands.

  “Something snapped in me that night. I couldn’t look at her the same way. She betrayed my trust, and there was no way I could be with her after she did that. I would step up and be a father to my baby, but she and I were over.”

  He stopped as if preparing for the next phase of the story.

  “But I was so angry. So messed up.” He frowned and pointed to his temple. “In here. My head was a jumble of chaos and emotion. A disaster. I never should have driven home. I should have waited until I was more clearheaded.”

  “Scott…” Lacey tightened her grip on his hand. It was never good to look at the past like that…as if you could go back and change the course of events.

  He held up one hand and nodded. “I know. What’s done is done.” His thumb caressed the backs of her fingers. “But in hindsight, I know I should have waited. But I didn’t wait. I got in my car and started for home. It was late, and I was mentally drained. I never saw the drunk driver coming. I pulled up to the stop sign, barely glanced side to side, and then pulled into the intersection. He hit the driver’s side square on at forty miles per hour. That doesn’t sound fast, but believe me, it was. My left leg suffered the worst of it. Tore my ACL. I suffered multiple fractures. Broke my left arm. Concussion. Numerous lacerations and bruises. I was in the hospital for weeks and spent the next twelve months rehabbing my leg.”

  “And Oregon?”

  A lopsided grin curled his lips. “They rescinded the scholarship. My football career was over. What good was a football scholarship to someone who couldn’t play?”

  “I’m sorry.” She wrapped both her hands around his. He’d suffered so much. More than any person deserved.

  “I ended up going to work for my brother while I took night classes and earned my business degree. Then I went in with him to become a fifty-fifty owner. Things have turned out the way they should have. I love my daughter.” He snorted and shifted in his seat. “Hell, without her, I’m not sure I would have turned out half as good as I did. She was the only thing that kept me going. The one thing I looked forward to every day. I vowed I would be there for Savannah, to give her piggyback rides and be an active father who could take her places and do things with her.”

  “And you do.”

  He nodded. “But I’ve got a lot of battle wounds to show what I went through.”

  “Scars?”

  “Both physical and mental.” His brow furrowed. “I’m not so clueless that I don’t know the effect Theresa’s actions had on me. I know I have trust issues now because of her, and that I’ve struggled with…” He took a deep breath and slowly blew it out as his face flushed. “I’ve struggled with being comfortable enough to ask a woman out.” He fidgeted and cleared his throat, his gaze flicking to hers as he gave a sheepish grin. “But I’m working on that.”

  She fought back a smile. “Well, that’s a step in the right direction.”

  After nodding and gazing at her meaningfully for several seconds, he forged ahead. “And I no longer blame Theresa for the accident. At one time, I did. But that was irrational. She wasn’t driving me home. I was. I sh
ould have paid more attention. I’m just thankful the accident wasn’t worse than it was. I easily could have been killed.”

  “That’s one way to think about it. At least you’re still here for Savannah.”

  “Exactly.” He leaned back with an air of finality. “So there you have it. My story, straight from the horse’s mouth. Was it anywhere near the story you got from Shirl?”

  “Close, but better. A lot more detail. More personal. Shirl only hit the highlights.”

  “Ah, the juicy highlights.” He glanced down at the check the waitress had dropped by their table a while ago. “Shirl’s good for dishing the juicy highlights.”

  They continued chatting about his past, the effect Theresa’s deception and the accident had had on him, Savannah, his recovery, and his lost dreams for another hour. He seemed to be purging all the black sludge from his soul, his face growing more compassionate and softer the longer he talked. It felt nice to be the one he’d unburdened himself to.

  Finally, he stopped talking, grinned, and glanced out the window as if he could feel the lightness enveloping him. Kind of like the way she had after chopping off her hair. Then he gathered the check off the small plastic tray as he met her eyes again. “It’s getting late. I should probably take you home, huh?”

  She’d completely lost track of the time. Checking the clock on the wall, she was surprised to find it was almost midnight.

  “Wow, I had no idea it was so late.” Pushing back from the table, she gathered her coat, and as they stood, she took his hand, drawing his attention. “Hey, thank you for sharing your story with me. I know it couldn’t have been easy.”

  His gaze dropped to her mouth. “Something about sharing it with you made it a lot easier than I thought it would be.”

  After paying, they drove back to the cabins, neither of them saying much. He had laid a lot on her tonight, but instead of scaring her away, she felt drawn further in. If only she could reciprocate and tell him her secrets. She had a feeling he would understand, but enough fear still resided in her heart to hold her tongue.

  He pulled up outside her cabin and helped her down from the high passenger seat.

  “Thank you for listening to me tonight,” he said, following her up the steps of her porch. “It felt good to finally get that off my chest.”

  She unlocked her door then turned, lifting her gaze to his. “I’m glad.” It had been nice to be talked to for a change, instead of talked about or at. She and Scott had had an actual conversation, one where she’d felt like an equal participant and not an icon. “And thank you for dinner.”

  He took a step closer and his gaze dropped to her mouth the way it had right before they left the restaurant.

  He wanted to kiss her.

  And she would let him. To hell with caution.

  As he bent forward, she raised onto her tiptoes. In the middle, their lips met, and she closed her eyes, savoring the firm, masculine caress.

  The air seemed to whoosh out of his body, and he pressed closer. As his lips slowly parted and closed over hers again, his hand skimmed around her waist to the small of her back.

  Thought ceased. All that existed was this moment. His mouth flirting with hers.

  More.

  Warmth spilled like a cascade of explosions through her body, starting at the nape of her neck, working its way down her back, between her legs, and down her thighs. All the way to her feet. Had she moaned? Yes. That was her making that soft, breathy sound as he opened and closed his mouth more forcefully over her bottom lip, his arm tightening, pulling her closer, drawing her against his body.

  If she’d thought he was easy to talk to, he was even easier to kiss. The chemistry between them apparently didn’t stop at the end of conversation. If anything, it intensified.

  He gasped as he released her lip and pulled away just enough to look into her eyes.

  For a breathless heartbeat, they just stared at each other, their breath quickening. He appeared almost in awe. Surprised maybe. As if he hadn’t expected to feel what he was feeling.

  Did she ever know how he felt. She was breaking the rules. She should have stopped him. Should have erred on the side of caution. Never should have kissed him. But now that she had, she just wanted him to do it again.

  Then the damn broke. As if he’d surrendered to some unseen force, he pushed forward with such determination he practically threw her against the door. Her back slammed into the wood, her feet left the ground as he lifted her, and she wrapped her legs around his waist just as his mouth crashed down on hers again.

  Lacey’s body lit up like she’d been doused in kerosene and he’d thrown a lit match on her. She’d never felt anything like this. Such blazing passion. And the focal point was smack between her legs, right at the heart of her. Good thing they were dressed in layers, or she would have broken all the rules then and there.

  His tongue delved into her mouth, seeking, plundering, fanning the fire. All she could do was grasp the back of his coat in her gloved fists and latch her legs around his hips so she could enjoy the ride longer.

  Bliss.

  Ecstasy.

  Just from his kisses and the way he groaned deep inside his chest.

  Finally, after what felt like not nearly long enough, his hold loosened, his kisses grew less frenzied, and his breathing stabilized.

  Whatever pent-up energy had risen like an explosion had either expended itself, or he’d gained control over it.

  From the molten yet restrained expression on his face when he pulled back and lowered her until her feet hit the porch, it looked like a little of both. He appeared tremulously in control as he inhaled deeply through his nose and rubbed his lips together as if still tasting her.

  Flustered and a little speechless, Lacey blew out a heavy breath, nearly stumbling backward as he let her go.

  “Okay, so…wow.” She steadied herself by gripping the doorknob.

  His lips worked into a pleased grin, and he shuffled his feet as he glanced away. “Yeah…well, um…” His gaze drew impishly back to hers, making her giggle.

  He chuckled and inhaled a hearty breath as he stood taller, shoulders proud, as if he’d just roped his first calf.

  “Thank you for um…” For what? Blowing her mind? Soaking her panties? Making her feel things she’d never felt? She’d already thanked him for dinner, so doing so again would be awkwardly repetitious.

  Warmth poured into her face.

  He placed his hand over hers on the doorknob. “Yes, thank you.” His eyes flashed knowingly, as if he understood she was lost for words and could commiserate. “Good night, Mattie.”

  And just like that, with the reminder that he was totally unaware of her true identity, the magic blew out of the moment. Too guilt-ridden to maintain eye contact, she bowed her head. To him, she probably appeared demure, but inside, she was anything but.

  He squeezed her hand then turned and practically skipped down the steps to the walkway.

  As she watched him back out of her drive then pull away, she knew she was in trouble. Whatever this was with Scott felt real. More real than anything she’d ever known. But how could it be real when she still hadn’t told him who she was?

  Chapter 11

  Lacey vowed to tell Scott everything. But as October gave way to November and the days ticked by, the moment never felt right. A voice in her head told her there would never be a “right” time and that she just needed to spill the beans, but every time she tried, something stopped her, and the moment passed.

  Despite the lie sitting between them, they continued to grow closer. But he was ever the gentleman, never inviting himself into her cabin or her into his after a date. While the front-door good-night kisses became more intimate, more familiar, more like horny teenagers making out, he never pushed for sex even though his body clearly wanted it.

  Of course he would be cautious. Hadn’t he said as much during their first date? He had admitted that he had trust issues. That dating was an awkward matter for h
im. And after what Theresa had done to him, the idea of having sex again had to make for a huge mental leap. Not one to be taken lightly. In fact, some men might have even been rendered mentally impotent after being tricked in such a deeply personal way. So if he wanted to take his time, Lacey was okay with that.

  But as their relationship slowly progressed, something else happened. Something almost as magical. Snow began to fall.

  A lot of snow.

  And for the first time in years, Lacey felt a whisper of her old passion for snowboarding reawaken deep in her soul. Each morning, she stood at the sliding glass doors that led to the back patio—and sometimes she even stepped outside—and stared longingly at the thickening white blanket. And each morning, the desire to retrieve her snowboards from the back of her Escape, where they had remained buried and untouched for almost ten months, stirred a little more vigorously in her soul.

  If she could rekindle her love of snowboarding, could she return to competition and remain in love with the sport? Or would she just get sucked dry again?

  She was going on twenty-six, but she felt so much older. Or at least she had before coming to Hope Falls. Now she was starting to feel her age again. Her youthful spirit was returning, and the weary lines and dark circles she’d begun to notice on her face last year had given way to a fresh, smooth glow. Was that because of Scott? Or was it because she was beginning to feel like her old self? Free. Unencumbered from puppet strings.

  With a rebellious tug, she slid the heavy glass door open and stepped outside. It had snowed again last night. Was still snowing, although not at what she assumed had been a fever pitch in the overnight. The fresh powder hit above the ankle of her well-worn Uggs, even up close to the cabin where the accumulation wasn’t as heavy as farther out. From the looks of it, at least eight inches had fallen, and now big fat snowflakes drifted lazily from the grey sky, eking out every ounce of moisture from the atmosphere.

  She took another step into the snow-insulated cold. Absolute silence. The thick snowpack gobbled up every snick of noise, soundproofing the world. Hugging her mug of tea within her palms, Lacey felt like the only person on the planet, and for the first time in what felt like more than two years, she took a full, lung-expanding breath. Tension melted away, her shoulders relaxed, and she took yet another step away from the open door into what had once been her sanctuary. The magical, wintery landscape of white ice and packed snow that had fed her dreams since childhood.