SEAL Do Over (A Standalone Navy SEAL Romance) (SEAL Brotherhood, 6)

by Ivy Jordan

  “I can help you heal. Then, wherever you want to go, I’ll help get you there,” Luke said softly, moving closer to me with each word.

  His hand reached out, his fingers barely grazing against the exposed skin of my arm. I pulled away quickly, not from fear, but habit.

  My mind swallowed all my thoughts, leaving a dark hole that swirled furiously in my head. Panic set in, and I knew I couldn’t stop it. I could never stop it.

  I watched as Luke’s eyes widened and filled with concern. My chest lifted and fell quickly, my breathing growing quickly out of control. I backed up, away from the men, from Luke, until my back was pushed into a corner of the small office.

  “We should call the cops. We have no idea what’s happened,” the doctor said sternly.

  Luke’s head snapped around, looking over his shoulder at the doctor. I watched as he shook it vigorously.

  “No. I can help,” he insisted.

  He turned back to me. My breathing started to calm again. Something about his presence made me feel safe. I believed he could keep me safe from harm, that he could help me heal.

  My head nodded as I took a deep breath. His eyes brightened, filling with happiness and relief as he reached for my arm. I pulled away again, this time not out of fear, but out of habit.

  I didn’t like being touched, but something about Luke’s touch made me warm and fuzzy inside.

  Chapter 3

  Luke

  The night dripped by like a leaky faucet. I was exhausted; at least my body was, not my mind. It was raveled with questions about Candace, the woman on my couch…my first love.

  She hadn’t said a word when I brought her back to the cabin, not even a peep. I gathered her blankets, placed her on the couch, and took the chair beside her. Candace wrapped herself in the warm blankets, curled into a corner of the couch, and just stared into my eyes; hers were wide, curious, unrevealing of what was going through her mind. I’d have given anything to know what it was.

  We stayed like that for a while, eyes locked and silent. She finally gave in, falling asleep in the blanket cocoon she’d created for herself. I didn’t give in. I remained awake, my eyes guarding her as she slept peacefully. I knew she was trying to bolt from the office, and I didn’t want to chance her bolting now.

  Was she really here? Did she remember me? I had so many questions, but I knew better than to push her too hard.

  The sun started to creep through the large front window, leaving wide rays of light across my hardwood floors. Shit, I wasn’t ready to start my day. I hadn’t even slept.

  Faint snores escaped from Candace’s nostrils and throat. The sound was soothing, somehow sweet and comforting to me. I stood from my chair, carefully walking across the floor to the kitchen without waking her from her peaceful slumber.

  The coffee maker sat on the counter, my only salvation for the day. I scooped out enough grounds for a full pot, certain I’d need another once that was gone. I poured the water into the tank, hit the button, and then leaned against the counter while it gurgled and spewed.

  As soon as the scent of the freshly brewing coffee hit the air, my nostrils awoke, and I got my second wind.

  Breakfast. When Candace woke up, she’d be hungry. Her frame was so frail, so tiny, that she looked close to death. She wasn’t the same Candace I knew when we were kids. Whatever life she’d led, it wasn’t an easy one.

  I gathered the items from my fridge—eggs, milk, butter, jam—and then grabbed the bread from the cabinet above the stove. I didn’t have much—I usually just made a bowl of cereal before starting work on the ranch—but it was enough for a proper breakfast for my unexpected guest.

  As I whisked the eggs and milk, my phone beeped. I looked down to see Theo’s name on my screen and quickly picked it up.

  Theo: Did things go okay last night?

  Me: She fell asleep after we got back here. She looked like she’d been through hell and back.

  Theo: I still think we should call the cops.

  Panic filled my veins. I couldn’t imagine sending her away, not now. She was here, where she needed to be. I would take care of her. She deserved to have someone who loved her, even if years ago, to take care of her now.

  Me: No. I want to take care of her.

  Theo: Why are you so worried about her? She had blood everywhere, and we both know it wasn’t all hers.

  Me: Yes, and we both know that she was hurt, badly, so someone may still be out there looking for her.

  Theo: More reason to call the cops. You don’t need that drama in your life.

  Me: I can handle it.

  Theo: Okay. Just please let me know if you need my help.

  Me: I will. Thank you, Theo. I’ll get her breakfast, clean her up, and maybe find out what happened.

  Theo: That sounds like a good plan.

  I heard a cough coming from the living room just as the coffee machine made its last gurgle to alert me that it had completed its job.

  Me: She’s awake. I’ll talk to you later.

  Theo: Okay. Just, be careful.

  Careful? Was I really supposed to be afraid of this small girl on my couch, the one that weighed a hundred pounds wet?

  I quickly poured coffee into two cups and headed into the room where Candace was sitting up, curled into the corner of the couch just like she’d been last night.

  “Coffee?” I asked, offering her one of the cups I held in my hand.

  She nodded but still didn’t speak.

  “It’s black, but I have cream and sugar,” I stammered.

  Her head shook as she reached out for the cup I pushed in her direction.

  I smiled, unable to contain my happiness about her presence. It was still blowing my mind. Candace was here, in my house, after all these years.

  “Are you hungry?” I asked.

  Her eyes widened, still scared, as they stared at me. I watched as her fingers fidgeted around the hot cup, and then finally she nodded.

  “I’m sure you’d like to get cleaned up first,” I smiled warmly.

  Her bottom lip quivered, and her eyes shifted as she scanned the room. She sipped the coffee slowly, her movement slow, forced, and trying. It was obvious she was in a lot of pain. The adrenaline from the shock had worn off, and now, she was left with only the aches from her ordeal.

  Theo had given me pain pills, warning me to be cautious with offering them to her. I realized she looked like a junkie, a mess, a train wreck, but he didn’t know her like I did, like I used to.

  “I have something for the pain,” I reached into my pocket and pulled out the two white oval pills Theo had given me.

  She shook her head.

  Okay, so she wasn’t a junkie. That was a good sign.

  I watched as she continued to scan the house. I assumed she was looking for the bathroom, the place where I promised she could clean up.

  “The bathroom’s over here,” I said slowly, standing cautiously so as not to startle her.

  She got up, pushing the blankets aside, and followed me to the small bathroom of my cabin. It wasn’t much, but at least it offered privacy, a lock, and no windows for her to escape from while I finished breakfast.

  “Take your time,” I smiled, shutting the door behind me.

  I heard it lock quickly, and then water running from the faucet.

  I went back to my breakfast, giving the eggs one last whisk. The one frying pan that came with the place was beat up, but it would have to do. I heated some butter, and poured the eggs in, stirring them slowly as I watched, listened, and waited for Candace.

  The toaster popped the bread from the slots just as the bathroom door opened. I quickly lathered them in butter, and then jam, and grabbed two plates. They were the only two plates in the place.

  “Breakfast is almost ready,” I called into the other room.

  I didn’t hear anything, no response. What was she doing?

  I scooped the eggs from the frying pan, spreading them on two plates, and then cut the toast in h
alf. It was a measly breakfast, but I was grateful I had anything to offer her at all.

  In the living room, Candace was back on the couch, snuggled in the warm blankets in the corner. Her eyes were wide as if she was afraid of me as I approached.

  “I hope you like scrambled eggs,” I said softly, handing her the plate.

  Her hand shook. Her skittish behavior had me concerned. What happened to her? Would I really be able to help, or was this above my pay grade?

  A groan escaped her lips as she lifted the fork to her mouth, causing my heart to race, and then break. She was in pain, which was obvious.

  The eggs made their way between her lips, and then another scoop immediately after. She acted like she hadn’t eaten in days, scarfing up the food quickly, not looking up from her plate to me as I tried not to stare.

  I sat in the chair, the one I’d slept in all night. I ate slowly, avoiding letting her catch my eyes on her as she continued to eat.

  Finally, she finished her last bite of eggs and looked up in my direction as she grabbed a piece of toast. Her eyes were so bright; they instantly flooded my heart and soul with a familiar feeling: love.

  “Do you remember me?” I asked hesitantly.

  Candace lifted her eyes to mine, locking them for just a second. She nodded, but looked away quickly, returning to her toast.

  She remembered me. That was a start, a good start.

  Another groan rolled from her lips, this time louder than the first. I watched as she struggled to position herself on the couch, pushing at the plate to set it on the table in front of her.

  I quickly got up, grabbing the plate, and then reached for the blanket that was wrapped around her ankle.

  “You’re safe here,” I reassured her as she flinched from my close presence. It was something I was certain would need repeated time and time again.

  “Thank you,” she mumbled, her voice so meek and mild.

  “Now that you’ve eaten, would you like to try a pain pill?” I asked.

  Exhaustion flooded her face as she nodded. Whatever reason she refused before, the pain had taken over, and she was ready for the relief.

  I reached into my pocket, pulled out the pills, and moved my hand towards hers. She moved slowly, all of her movements in slow motion either from pain or fear. When she opened her hand, I dropped the pills into her palm, careful not to make contact, even though I ached to hold her in my arms and protect her from whatever had hurt her so badly.

  Her hand shook as she clasped the pills tightly.

  “I’ll get you some water,” I offered, quickly heading towards the kitchen.

  When I returned, I was greeted with a faint smile, and our fingers touched briefly as she took the glass from my hand. My body tingled from the touch, a touch I’d thought I would never feel again.

  She slunk into the couch after she swallowed the pills, pulling the blanket up to her neck. I backed away, taking my seat in the chair by the couch, and watched as her eyes slowly closed.

  There was so much I wanted to know, needed to know, but it was obvious that today wouldn’t be a day for answers.

  Chapter 4

  Candace

  “Do you have anything I could wear?” I asked.

  Luke appeared startled by my question, or possibly just by my voice. His eyes widened, so blue they drowned me with concern, something I wasn’t accustomed to.

  “Yes, of course,” he stammered, quickly moving into the bedroom.

  I sat on the couch, listening to drawers slam and doors open until he returned with a pile of options, none of which were glamorous, but at least they were clean.

  “Thank you. Do you care if I take a shower?” I asked.

  He nodded, seemingly stunned by my sudden vocal abilities. It wasn’t that I couldn’t talk; I just didn’t want to, at least not about anything, and I knew he’d ask. He would eventually want answers about the night he found me. So would others, like the cops.

  I rummaged through the pile of clothes, selecting a pair of sweatpants, a t-shirt, socks, and pair of boxers. This wasn’t my best look, but unfortunately, it wasn’t my worst either.

  Luke stood above me, somewhat anxious. His eagerness to help was showing, and it was making me uncomfortable. I wasn’t used to having anyone help me with anything. I could handle things on my own, especially something as simple as taking a shower.

  “I won’t be long,” I said, quickly getting up from the couch, ignoring the pain shooting through my body.

  Luke had been so kind and so patient. I hated that I’d pulled him into my drama, but I was starting to believe that I really was safe with him.

  I locked myself in the bathroom, double checking that the lock was secure before undressing. Bruises covered a large portion of my body, and flakes of dried blood that I’d missed when cleaning off clung to my skin. I started to shake at the realization that it wasn’t my blood. Remembering what I’d done made my stomach growl with a low, deep pain that nearly brought me to my knees.

  I turned the water to a scalding temperature that most couldn’t bear. I wanted to cleanse myself of the filth that covered my sore skin.

  Stepping into the shower, I clenched my teeth and shut my eyes while I adjusted to the high heat. Steam flooded up around me, hiding me in a thick cloudlike pillow that gave me a sense of security. I scrubbed, hard, trying with everything I had to make myself clean, but I couldn’t. I was dirty.

  Luke’s clothes swallowed me, but I couldn’t bear to put on the old clothes I’d worn for days. My hand swiped across the glass of the long mirror, giving me a quick peek at my new look. Runway ready, it wasn’t, but it would have to do. I’d have an orange jumpsuit to trade it for soon enough.

  I found Luke sitting at the kitchen table, his hands intertwined and fidgeting. His eyes lifted to mine, surprised by my presence I suppose, and then a warm smile spread across his face.

  “You feel better?” he asked softly.

  No. I would never feel better.

  “Yes,” I lied.

  “Are you hungry?” he asked, quickly scooting his chair back to stand.

  I shook my head, and then reached for the chair across from him, pulling it out from the table so I could sit with him.

  All the time we had been together, he just fed me and watch me. He was always watching; even when he thought he was being sneaky, I knew.

  Luke slid back into his seat, his hand reaching for his phone. I watched as he slid it to the side. That phone had become his lifeline. He was always on it, texting mostly, but talking at times when he thought I couldn’t hear. I heard. I could hear everything. He never did mention me though, at least not to anyone other than the doctor, “Doc” as he called him.

  The pain pills knocked me out, but not enough that I wasn’t alert, ready to bolt at any mention of the cops. I heard Luke talking to Doc the first night I was here, telling him that he didn’t want to call the cops. That made me feel safe, safer than any of his other promises.

  I knew he’d been scheduled to work earlier that day, but he stayed with me instead. I wondered why he was so determined to care for me, so afraid to leave me.

  “I made coffee,” Luke stated, nodding in the direction of the coffee pot on the counter.

  It was a cute place, but it didn’t really look lived in, at least not for long. There were a couple pictures on the walls, cabin décor types of photos, but no family photos or anything personal around. I didn’t notice any boxes, things that needed to be unpacked. It was simplistic but cute, like what you’d expect if you rented a cabin at a ranch resort.

  “Coffee sounds great.” I forced a smile.

  Luke turned to get up, exposing a large burn scar on his neck that ran towards his shoulder under his shirt. I immediately wanted to ask him what happened but bit my tongue. Like me, he could have things he’d prefer not to talk about.

  He was so solid, so strong. My eyes scanned his form as he poured the coffee. Scruff poked from his jawline, making me wonder if he kept it scr
uffy, or just hadn’t shaved since I arrived. I liked the scruff.

  His eyes were blue, a light, comforting blue, and his nose had a bump on the bridge that looked like an old break. With his thick neck, wide arms, and rippled abs, I couldn’t imagine who would punch him in the nose. He wasn’t very tall, but he was stout and strong, his muscles rolling under his thin t-shirt as he moved.

  As kids, Luke was lanky, almost too skinny, but he had enough charm to make up for his lack of muscles then. I blushed when he turned around, catching me eyeing him. He handed me the coffee cup and took his seat back across from me. His questions were obvious in his eyes as they stared at me with strong curiosity.

  I was indebted to him, more than he could ever know. I appreciated his patience, his kindness, and his ability to control the questions I knew consumed him.

  “You can ask me three questions. I’ll do my best to answer them honestly,” I blurted before I could talk myself out of it.

  Luke looked surprised by my sudden openness.

  “Three?” he questioned.

  I nodded.

  I watched as he pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and gnawed on it with his teeth. My hands began to shake as I lifted the coffee mug to my mouth, and suddenly I was filled with regret. Why did I agree to this? I was so afraid of what he would ask, and what I’d tell him. I couldn’t lie to him. He didn’t deserve to be lied to.

  “Are you okay?” he asked softly, his first question seemingly unobtrusive.

  “No, but I’d like to be,” I responded with an honesty that surprised even me.

  Luke’s eyes widened as they stared across the table. His hands folded together, nervously fidgeting as his lips formed a soft smile.

  “If I leave you here alone, to go to work, will you run?” he asked his second question.

  I wanted to, at least at one time. Now, I wasn’t sure I wanted to leave the safety and comfort of Luke’s home, of his protection. I knew what waited for me once I left here. Prison. I didn’t want to go to jail, but I knew I deserved to go. If it were anyone but Luke, the boy I loved, the answer would have been simple. I hated to drag him into my drama, for him to know what had happened to me, for him to feel pity, disappointment, or anything other than that memory of love we once shared.