Kings of Mayhem (The Kings of Mayhem Book 1)

by Penny Dee

  In the end, she had called her father and both Jackie and my dad had turned up and dragged me back to Destiny. Back in the clubhouse, Jackie had handed me a letter from Indy. The long version was two pages of anger and disgust, peppered with swear words and some rather creative name calling. The short version: stay away from me, you psycho—I don’t want you anymore.

  It had killed me inside. But it was more than warranted.

  “I was angry,” Indy said softly. “I’m pretty sure I didn’t mean half the stuff I wrote in it.”

  “Yeah, you did.” I looked at her. “But it was deserved. I was an unreliable jerk who fucked up our future.”

  She didn’t argue.

  I looked across at the fading sunset, feeling regretful, feeling sad that life hadn’t turned out how we had planned.

  “Do you ever wonder?” I asked.

  “What?’

  “Where we’d be now if I hadn’t gone to that the clubhouse that night?”

  “Cade—”

  “Do you think we would still be together?” I asked. I looked into her beautiful eyes, wishing more than ever that I had never lost this amazing woman. “That we would’ve followed through with all our plans?”

  “Do you mean, would we be married with two-point-five children and living normal, happy family lives?”

  Inside, my heart collapsed against my chest cavity. That was the future I had hoped for us before I had fucked it all up.

  “Yeah.”

  She looked wistful. “I work long hours. Who knows if we would’ve survived the craziness of my residency.”

  I’m pretty sure we could’ve survived it.

  There was only one thing we couldn’t survive and it was the one thing I had done.

  Looking at her in the fading light, my heart ached for another chance. She smiled softly but then her expression changed, like she was suddenly aware of what I was thinking and she stood back abruptly.

  “I can’t do this, Cade.”

  I took a step toward her so I was standing close. Intimately close. “Do what?”

  “This. You. Us.” Her eyes dropped to my mouth and she licked her lips. The way she was looking at me sent all sorts of crazy through me.

  The time was right.

  I took a step closer so only a breath separated us. “Tell me you don’t still love me and I will take you home.”

  Her big brown eyes slid up to meet mine and she hesitated long enough for me to know that she did still love me, and it filled me with hope.

  “Tell me you don’t love me,” I whispered.

  I didn’t give her a chance to answer. I took her face in my hands and pressed my mouth to hers, opening those luscious lips with my tongue and kissing her hard. Caught by surprise, she resisted, but within seconds her hesitation vanished and her kiss became just as hungry and as needy as mine.

  A low moan escaped me. A moment ago, this was all I had wanted. But now I wanted this and more. I wanted Indy back.

  I pulled back to look in her eyes, searching for signs of how she was feeling. “I’m still in love with you.”

  She resisted me then and struggled to free herself from my embrace. But I wasn’t having any of it. “I know you don’t want me anymore, Indy. But I still love you. And after seeing you this week, I don’t think I will ever love anyone like I love you. I’ve tried. Believe me, I’ve tried. But you’re too much to get over.”

  For a moment, she looked alarmed. But then the old Indy turned up, and her eyes narrowed, and with a flash of anger she pushed me backwards, and slapped me hard across the face.

  “Fuck you, Cade,” she snapped. “What am I supposed to do with that bullshit?”

  She slapped me again, harder. And I had to grab her wrist to stop a third blow.

  “Stop hitting me would be a start.” She tried to slap me again, but I had a firm hold on her wrist and it was enough to settle her down.

  She yanked her hands free and turned her back on me.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, not sure what the fuck I was supposed to say.

  She swung back to me. “I loved you! Do you get that. I loved you. It wasn’t some teenage puppy love. Not some mild infatuation. Not some sweet, young love. You were my life. My entire fucking life. And then you went and broke me—do you understand that, Cade? You broke me. Not my heart, but my everything. Now you think you can just kiss me at sunset, tell me you still feel the same way about me, and I will fall into your arms? Are you fucking kidding me?”

  Her words were like a sword plunging into my chest. But I knew she needed to do this. To vent. To get it all out. Apart from her drunken, verbal assault at Joker’s birthday party, we hadn’t spoken about what happened. Not sober, anyway.

  We needed to get it out in the open.

  She stomped forward and pushed me in the chest.

  “I fucking hate you for what you did!”

  When she began to pound me with closed fists I wrapped my arms around her to ward off the blows and to calm her down. She struggled, but I held her tight until her cries died down. She stopped fighting me and buried her face into my chest.

  “I’m so sorry, baby.” And I was. I was so fucking sorry. If I could take away her pain, I would. If I could turn back time to that night and never go to that party, I would. I kissed the top of her head and she sank her fingers into my chest, twisting them in my shirt. “It rips my heart out to know that the one thing I couldn’t protect you from was me.”

  The night of the clubhouse party I had gotten drunk and my asshole father had spiked my drink. I ended up fucking a girl I didn’t know. I was so intoxicated and high, I thought she was Indy. Never for a moment did I think I was inside of someone else. Unfortunately, I worked it out at the same time as Indy. She walked in on us when I was in the middle of coming inside a girl whose name I didn’t even know. I squeezed my eyes shut at the memory. Indy broke up with me and moved away to college. Alone.

  In one night, I had lost everything.

  She relaxed against me and I felt her body shudder. Knowing she was calmer, I loosened my hold around her arms and pulled back to look at her. Her large, brown eyes were wet and full of pain.

  My thumb brushed over the plump slickness of her lips. “I don’t deserve you. Not in a million years. But tell that to my stubborn heart. It’s not ready to give you up. Not now, not ever.” I tucked her hair behind her ear and her eyes glittered up at me.

  She frowned as she whispered, “I loved you so fucking much.”

  “I know.” I tangled my hands in her hair and held her as close as I could. “I just hope one day you’ll forgive me.”

  She pulled away, just slightly, so our bodies were still together, and looked up at me through her damp lashes. Christ, she was beautiful. Blinking, she raised up on her tiptoes and slowly pressed her lips to mine. It was a soft and uncertain kiss. Slow and hesitant. And I felt her breath leave her as she fisted her hands in my shirt again. With a moan, I broke it off.

  “Indy—”

  But Indy wasn’t done. She pulled me back to her warm, soft mouth. But this time she kissed me like she couldn’t get enough, and it was all I needed for my body to respond in all the usual ways.

  Before I realized it, she was undoing my belt buckle and grabbing at the zipper of my jeans. Urgent hands tugged at denim and then slid between me and my boxers.

  But this wasn’t right.

  This wasn’t the way I wanted this to happen.

  I wasn’t going to make love to my girl for the first time in twelve years like this. No matter how hard my body was begging me to.

  I pulled back, hesitating, but Indy wasn’t interested in any hesitation. She wanted exactly what her hand was about to touch and… oh, goddamn... I groaned as she wrapped her warm fingers around me. The man in me knew I had to stop her. But my cock in her hand had other ideas.

  “Wait…” I breathed.

  “I’m not interested in waiting,” she said, her mouth crashing to mine again.

  I wanted to do
the right thing, but damn, I wanted her.

  Gently, I pushed her back to hold her at arm’s length. We looked at each other. “This isn’t going to happen,” I breathed.

  Her eyes darkened and her grip on me loosened. I felt her shoulders sag. “You don’t want this?”

  “More than you could ever know.” My breathing was ragged and my cock hated me. But I had to stop her. “Not like this.”

  She pulled away and turned to look at Destiny in the distance. The way she bit her lower lip made me want to say to hell with it and give her what she wanted. Right here. Right now.

  But when I reclaimed what was mine, it wasn’t going to happen in the parking lot on the side of an old cavalry fort, rushed and frantic. I wanted to take my time with her. Make sure it was what she really wanted and not because she was having some emotional response to her daddy dying.

  “I thought—” She stopped herself from talking and her beautiful face settled into a frown. She thought for a moment, and then nodded. “Will you take me home?”

  Either she thought I was rejecting her, or she had already convinced herself that it would be a mistake. I couldn’t be sure.

  When we climbed on my bike, I secured her hands around my waist and she became a sweet warmth wrapped around my body.

  Time to take my girl home.

  And to take back what was mine.

  INDY—Aged 17

  Then

  Grass tickled the back of my arms as I lay with my face tilted toward the sun. It was an unusually hot day for February. The sky was clear and the sun was shining brightly. The smell of freshly cut grass drifted across the football field on a warm breeze. Spring was coming.

  “You’re lying!” Mallory Massey’s husky voice broke into my sun-lulled daydream.

  “I swear to God it’s true,” Abby protested. “He slid his arm around my neck and said, ‘Come here, beautiful.’ And then slobbered his kiss all over my mouth. It was like making out with a slug.”

  The three of us were lying on the grass embankment overlooking the field where a group of kids from our high school played a game of football. It was an informal game. Most of them didn’t even have shirts on. Abby was filling Mallory in on her date with Jamie Brown, captain of the debate team at school. She liked his ability to argue, but apparently his make-out skills were less than satisfactory.

  Mallory giggled again. “Slug kissing is the worst!” She sighed and then made a noise like she was devouring a big chocolate brownie that was the most delicious thing she’d ever tasted. “Now there is someone who wouldn’t slug kiss you. I imagine his lips and tongue would kiss you all the way into nirvana,” she said and then sighed again.

  “Who?” Abby asked.

  “Cade,” Mallory replied.

  I opened my eyes and sat up at the mention of Cade’s name.

  “You want to kiss, Cade?” I asked.

  “Oh, finally, she’s awake,” Abby said. “Welcome back.”

  I poked my tongue out at her and then continued to question Mallory. “As in Cade Calley?”

  “Of course, Cade Calley, silly.” Mallory shivered as if the mere mention of his name was enough to excite her. “That boy has muscles in all the right places.”

  I followed her gaze to the football game on the field. Cade had hold of the ball and was running for the imaginary line. He wore jeans but no shirt or shoes, and sweat gleamed on a well-developed torso packed with muscle and power. When had Cade gotten so big? I had lived next to him nearly my whole life and I couldn’t remember him transitioning from a boy to . . . to that.

  “You’re ogling my cousin like you’re going to eat him,” Abby said to Mallory, pulling a face. “That is so gross.”

  “He’s so fine. I know you can’t agree with me—”

  “I don’t agree with you. Don’t. Not can’t. Don’t.”

  “—but what about you, Indy? Don’t you think he is just as fine as spun gold?”

  I watched as Cade powered across the field, his muscles pulling and flexing as he ran. When he touched down, he thrust two muscled arms above his head and something inside me began to tingle.

  I looked at Mallory. I guess you could call her the more-experienced girl in school. She wore tight clothes, lots of makeup, bright jewelry—including big hoop earrings she never took out, and lots of bangles. She also chewed a lot of gum, which she was doing now. I watched as she blew a big pink bubble and then smacked it against her bright red lips.

  The idea of those red lips brushing against Cade’s suddenly irritated me.

  “I don’t even know what that means,” I said, annoyed. I wasn’t sure what annoyed me most. Mallory and her stupid metaphors. Or the idea of her putting her red lips all over him.

  If Mallory sensed my irritation, then she didn’t show it.

  “I’m going to ask him out,” she said, eating him with her eyes. She turned to me, “I think he likes me. Do you think he’ll go out with me?”

  Jealousy coiled in the pit of my stomach. “How would I know?”

  “Because you guys are like the biggest BFFs,” Mallory said with a dramatic eye roll.

  “We’re not as close as we used to be,” I said softly. And it was true. Lately, something had changed between us. He was a little distant. Moody. Busy. Sometimes I just didn’t understand him. It was almost as if I irritated him.

  “Well, I’m going to ask him out,” she continued. “And I’m going to kiss him.”

  That sealed it. The idea of Mallory devouring him with those experienced, scarlet lips made me want to punch her in the mouth.

  I looked away and picked at the grass.

  “Hey, girls,” came a familiar, baritone voice.

  I looked up. Cade was walking off the field, looking too delicious for words as he approached us. Sitting cross-legged, I shifted uneasily.

  “Hey there, yourself,” Mallory replied, popping another pink bubble against her red lips and looking at Cade through her long lashes. He stopped at her feet and grinned down at her when she offered him a bottle of water from our cooler.

  “You’re an angel,” he said, taking the bottle from her and twisting the cap.

  I watched him bring the bottle to his mouth and my breath stopped short in my chest as his lips parted and he began to drink down the cool water. My stomach tightened and then flared with the strangest of sensations. When he pulled the bottle from his mouth, water dripped from his beautiful lips and slid down his throat to mingle with the sweat on his chest. My throat felt like sandpaper and I struggled to swallow. He smiled and it was like the world suddenly slowed and everything in it went in slow motion. The thud of my heartbeat. The whirl of my blood in my ears. Even the birds seemed to lumber in the sky above us. He turned to me and when those beautiful blue eyes found mine, his smile grew bigger and two dimples appeared on either side of his beautiful mouth.

  That was when it became crystal clear. Right there in that moment.

  I had fallen in love with my best friend.

  INDY

  Now

  It was official. I was crazy.

  What the fuck had I been thinking, kissing Cade like some love-sick moron? Had I completely lost my fucking mind?

  On the ride home I replayed my foolishness over and over in my head, so by the time I arrived home I felt stupid.

  The house was dark when we pulled up. Mom had messaged me earlier. She was at the clubhouse with Ronnie and Bull, which was a relief because I wanted to drown my embarrassment with a shit load of wine.

  And I wanted to drown alone.

  I climbed off the bike and mumbled a pitiful goodbye to Cade, fully expecting him to leave. But he didn’t. Instead, he followed me up the tidy driveway and waited for me to unlock the front door.

  I made a second attempt at a goodbye, which involved absolutely avoiding any kind of eye contact with him and pretending I hadn’t just launched myself at my ex-boyfriend like a psycho.

  But Cade wasn’t having any of it.

  “I’m makin
g sure you get inside,” he insisted.

  I didn’t want him to be so chivalrous. Mentally, I’d already sought out my first bottle of wine. I just needed him to leave. I was embarrassed. Hurt. Angry at myself for kissing him and wanting more. From this moment on, I would be immune to his charm and bullshit sexual aura. I didn’t care how big and sexy he was. I was done.

  Reluctantly, I opened the door and we stepped inside. Trying to avoid eye contact, I turned around to tell him he could leave. But as soon as he closed the door behind us, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to his powerful chest, crashing his mouth to mine and holding me tightly against his hard body. Completely taken by surprise, I whimpered and then, like the sucker I am, gave into the eruption of desire crashing through me.

  With a rush, he pushed up against the door and kissed me fiercely, moaning into my mouth as he captured my lips and thrust his tongue in.

  Remember the girl who was going to be immune to his potent charms and overwhelming sexual aura?

  Yeah, that girl—she was gone. But what the hell. I had a throbbing need to travel down memory lane…just once.

  With that thought, any reservations about what I was about to do turned to ashes and fluttered away on the cool, twilight breeze.

  Tonight didn’t count.

  I reached for the top of his jeans and slid my hand across the hardness behind the zipper, ripping at his belt buckle and pulling it free. Cade returned the favor and had me out of my jeans faster than you could say I’m a ridiculous human being and I really shouldn’t be doing this.

  He hoisted me up into his arms, effortlessly, and I wrapped my legs around his hips, his hard cock seeking me out like the pussy-seeking missile it was.

  Like I weighed no more than a feather, he carried me down the hallway to my bedroom, kissing me wildly as he walked, turning me on more than I thought was possible.

  I’d forgotten how glorious Cade was at kissing. How perfect our mouths fit to one another’s and it was robbing me of all my common sense.