Second Nature

by Ric Flair

During the summer, I thought about going back to Boone. I thought about going back to school. Could I get my scholarship back? Could I call Brittany and see if there was still an opening to live in the house?

  At home, Riki and I got into another argument. I found pictures of him on his phone. When I asked him about it and what he planned to do with them, he entered a fit of rage. He kept yelling. As his voice got louder, he got closer and closer to me. I kept backing up, hoping that if he saw the look on my face he’d stop. He kept coming toward me. And then it happened—Riki pushed me into the closet door. I moved from the door and ran. He followed me into the guest room. His yelling continued. He said that this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t annoyed him; if I hadn’t egged him on, he would never have done that.

  These types of episodes continued. The focus of Riki’s anger, at times, transferred to his dog, Yonder. There were times when Riki got angry that he kicked and punched the dog. I can still hear the poor dog screeching. I couldn’t help but cry. My dog, Louis, would hide under the table. What was I doing there?

  I think about that girl now, and it brings tears to my eyes. How did I get there? Why was this going on? Why wasn’t I strong enough, brave enough, to end this?

  To the outside world, everything was fine. At parties, we looked like a happy, young couple. In photos, based on appearance, it looked like we were in love without anything to worry about. I kept everyone in my life at arm’s length. Everyone remained on the surface. Everything was great in Chapel Hill …

  I should’ve called my mom, my dad, my siblings, Zahn, any of them. Since I’d graduated high school, Uncle Arn’s wife, Erin, had become like a second mom, sister, and best friend to me. All I needed to say to any of them was one word—help. I just couldn’t do it.

  I called Brittany. I told her that I was coming by the house. I think she hoped that I was coming back for good. I told her I’d see her over the weekend.

  I knew that even if I didn’t play volleyball again, it was important to earn a college degree. I could return to App. I also applied to both University of North Carolina and North Carolina State University.

  I went back to Boone to formally move out, and Riki came with me to help me. I knew Brittany was upset and that this was not what she wanted. She tried to tell me so many times that this whole thing was not the way to go. I ignored her until she stopped bringing it up. That was probably because deep down, I knew she was right. This was the only time in our lives that we didn’t communicate and that we disagreed with one another.4

  I didn’t get accepted into UNC, because I didn’t have the language or math requirements. NC State said I could attend part-time while taking the required courses at Wake Tech, their community college in Raleigh, North Carolina.

  I started at NC State as a part-time student and took four other courses at Wake Tech. I was a full-time student in terms of hours and credits, but split my time between the two campuses. Regardless of whether I went to NC State’s main campus or Wake Tech’s, my commute was the same from Riki’s house: forty-five minutes there and back.

  This schedule was a double-edged sword. It was good because I was in school and doing well in my classes. The bad part was because of the commute and schedule, it created a heavier sense of isolation. I spent most days by myself. Since I was on two campuses, I didn’t feel a sense of belonging at either of them. During the hours between classes, I slept in the car, went running, or sat in Bruegger’s Bagels and worked on assignments.

  I focused on my schoolwork and knew that if I continued to do well academically, in the end, I’d earn a degree from NC State.

  Since I’d gone back to school, to anyone who was on the outside looking in, everything with me seemed fine.

  In general, I think when most people hear someone say, “I’m in school,” they think you’re doing what you’re supposed to do and you’re on a good path. Couple that with the fact that I never took a semester off from classes.

  Unless something happened in public or I had marks on my body, which I didn’t, no one really knew what went on behind closed doors. My parents always taught us to be respectful and kind to everyone, especially because you never knew what someone was going through personally; you couldn’t see from the outside. I tried to hide my pain and insecurity. I didn’t know if anyone could see it or not. I never thought that one day, that “someone” would be me.

  There were times I’d say to myself, Oh, it’s hasn’t been that bad this week. Or after a few decent days, I’d think, Maybe this is the point where things turn around. I’d try to escape conversations with people to avoid the risk of getting into too much detail. I needed help.

  What I should’ve questioned was why Riki was the only person who didn’t try to stop me leaving App, tell me not to quit my scholarship, give up everything for him, and not want me to start over.

  People commented all the time on how happy we looked or how great we looked together. The physical portrait did not convey the inescapable living hell I found myself in behind closed doors. The fact that people couldn’t tell added to the anxiety, because what would happen to me if someone did find out?

  I didn’t realize it was a façade. If people looked a certain way, then they must have a certain amount of money, or they must be successful, or they must be happy together. But soon, no matter how good we looked together at an event or how nice a photo of us appeared in a picture frame, everyone would know that something was wrong.

  In the fall, I got a call from my dad. He told me WWE put a story line together that centered around him retiring from wrestling. That would be his last match, and it would take place at WrestleMania in Orlando. But he didn’t know who he’d be in the match with. He added that he’d be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame the night before the match.

  I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I felt my father embodied wrestling. I’d never pictured him retiring. In the same breath, I was so proud of him. He dedicated his life to this profession. If this was happening at WrestleMania XXIV in Orlando, I had to make plans to be there!

  Oddly enough, these were the type of happenings that I never had to worry about Riki’s behavior. Riki liked being around WWE events. He basked in the attention of being recognized as part of the Flair family: being backstage, meeting WWE Superstars and Divas, sitting ringside, and enjoying the comfort of a corporate suite at a venue. I knew that this would be another instance that Riki would put his best foot forward.

  My mom helped me pick out dresses for the trip. Riki and Reid were fitted for tuxedos. I was also excited because Megan and David would be there. The four of us had not been together for four days like this in a very long time. When I spoke with each of them, they were excited too. My siblings and I experienced so many changes over the last few years. We all lived in different places now. Even though I didn’t speak with everyone as often, they were always with me.

  I never thought of this until I wrote it down, but over the last few years, my dad’s life underwent changes too. I know how much he loved his second tenure with WWE. I’m sure that came with its share of adjustments. And now, the only thing he ever wanted to do with his professional life was coming to an end. How did he feel? I thought about that in the weeks leading up to making the trip to Orlando for WrestleMania.

  We drove through the night from Chapel Hill to Orlando. I remember riding in the back of Riki’s car. Reider was in the front passenger seat. Reider and Riki knew each other from the different social groups from Providence Day and Providence High School. I knew my brother didn’t like that Riki and I were in a relationship. Reider was watchful of how Riki treated me when we were all together, but he got along with Riki, for my sake.

  As we made our way under the bridge on Interstate 4, I saw the sign that read “Orlando.” Even though it was around 4:00 in the morning, a collage of childhood memories flooded my mind of all the wonderful summer adventures my mom planned for our family: the character breakfasts at Disney, the rides at Universal, and the shows at SeaWo
rld. I never imagined that one day we’d be back there as adults for a weekend, celebrating my dad’s career.

  To mark the occasion, Riki, Reider, and I took a trip to go to SeaWorld for the day. It was like we were kids again!

  I had no idea what to expect in Orlando. I knew the grandeur of WrestleMania and the prestige of the Hall of Fame, but this time, my dad was being inducted. The match he was in was “career threatening.” Out of all the times we were going to see one of his matches and all the times we had been to Orlando, we’d never felt something like this. It was like everyone was there for the Hall of Fame ceremony and WrestleMania. Whether you were at one of the theme parks, at a restaurant downtown, or along International Drive, everyone was talking about my dad. It was like this was the Nature Boy’s weekend.

  Being in the front row at the WWE Hall of Fame felt like being at the Oscars. We were seated beside Shawn Michaels and his wife, Rebecca. The feeling in the arena was amazing. To hear so many people say, “WOOOOO!” at the same time always gave me goose bumps. This was such a proud moment for my father and our family.

  The time had come for him to take his place among wrestling’s elite in the WWE Hall of Fame. I felt like if anyone deserved to be the first person who was going to be inducted while still being a WWE Superstar, it was my dad.

  Seeing the video of his career, which included photos of his childhood, was unbelievable. The moving piece captured the heart and soul of his life. Triple H’s induction speech was the perfect combination of humor and sentiment. It showed how much he cared about my dad. Triple H has been such a close confidant to him and a great friend to our family.5

  I could listen to my dad tell stories for hours, but on this special occasion, it was different. He could’ve talked about his endless list of accomplishments and greatest matches, and I’m sure everyone would’ve loved it, but instead, he talked about how much people meant to him and about the people who helped him throughout his career.

  He showed everyone the person away from the glitz and glamour, away from the breathtaking robes and limelight, and away from the incredible performances. When I heard him speak at the podium, it was the voice of the man who’s been my hero my whole life. That night, the Nature Boy had a rare night off, and the world was introduced to my father.

  The way he spoke about Leslie, Megan and David’s mom, and Reider’s and my mom was important. I was sad that my mom wasn’t there, but I knew why. My parents were married twenty-three years, and my mom was with him through the ups and downs of his career. It didn’t seem fair that Tiffany got to be there now, because she didn’t deal with the hardships along the way.

  * * *

  I thought about the last few years and what happened to our relationship when he left my mom to be with Tiffany. I thought I had always been number one to him. Having to follow the rules of a woman who wasn’t my mom was not an easy adjustment. I went away to college and never dealt with it. The guests at their wedding saw how I dealt with that happening. It was difficult coping with my parents getting divorced and then trying to deal with my dad being with someone new right away. On top of that, I was dealing with growing up, finishing high school, going off to college, playing a Division I sport, and experiencing all these new things.

  That first Christmas during college break is something I barely remember. My dad and Tiffany got me a pair of Ugg boots. I zoned out. I gladly spent that summer at App for volleyball workouts and classes. I didn’t want to go back home. I’m sure quitting volleyball and moving in with Riki, and the way I did that, didn’t help our relationship either.

  Tiffany and I didn’t say one day, “Hey, let’s start getting along.” It came over time. It was hard seeing my dad create this new life and my mom trying to pick up the pieces of the one she had for twenty-three years, but we did get along. There were times when Tiffany, Brittany, and I trained together at the gym. We developed a relationship over time, and she became part of our family.

  * * *

  Being at the Hall of Fame put the focus on my dad and our relationship. I was so proud to be there as his career was celebrated. When he reached the point in his speech where he looked at us and spoke about his children, I just said, “I love you, Dad.”

  I know Reider was just as proud, and prouder in a different way, because this was the path he wanted to take with his life. It was Reider’s dream to carry on the Flair legacy as a wrestler. He knew the path would be difficult and that he’d have more work to do because of his last name, but he wanted to be just like my dad: work hard, strive to be the best, and earn people’s respect.

  I knew that Reider was having a workout with WWE in Tampa soon. I was so excited for him. I think there was a part of him that wished my parents got back together. It was also difficult for him to see the media coverage of our parents’ divorce. We spent our lives in Charlotte. Our parents were a part of the community. When things received media coverage and that coverage included things that were not true, it hurt.

  There was an incredible energy going to the Citrus Bowl. I kept thinking what this week meant to my dad and the thousands of people who traveled from all over the world to be a part of this historic day. Being backstage with my siblings reminded me of all the years we attended our dad’s shows together. From that moment where we were on camera in the locker room at Starrcade ’93 to WrestleMania XXIV in 2008, we’ve all traveled our own paths.

  One trip we took together that day was something I was nervous about. My mouth dropped when the four of us—Megan, David, Reider, and me—went onstage to greet the crowd during the Hall of Fame introductions during WrestleMania. Never in a million years did I ever consider we would do that.

  When we were told it was time to go, my heart began to race. My legs trembled as we got closer to the entryway. I couldn’t believe it. My lips quivered, and I couldn’t get them to stop. I was about to go onstage and be in front of more than seventy-four thousand people. I thought I was there to see my dad get inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame and have his last match—how was I now part of WrestleMania?

  How the heck did he do that for a living for thirty-five years? I was overwrought with anxiety. What will the crowd be looking at? What will they be thinking about? And all I did was stand there with my siblings and wave. I never thought I’d be on a stage looking at so many people. I couldn’t tell where the crowd ended; it seemed like it just kept going.

  When it was time to watch the match, we took our seats. As always, our family sat at ringside when my father performed. Being on the floor level at the Citrus Bowl and seeing the enormity of the open stadium from a different perspective was unreal.

  I got chills when my dad’s music played. When I heard the huge crowd “WOOOOO!!” in tribute to him, I became filled with the same sense of pride that I’d known all my life. The moment he stopped walking, lifted his arms, and did his trademark rotation as fireworks shone was majestic.

  As I looked around, the people in the audience looked like they felt the same way; everyone was standing, crying, and holding their Flair-themed signs or the symbol for the Four Horsemen. I was overwhelmed by the adulation for him. People felt that they grew up with my dad, and he was part of their households because he was on TV for so many years.

  How could one of the greatest villains end up revered to the point where all the seventy-four-thousand-plus in attendance wanted to see him win and his career go on—and against an icon like Shawn Michaels? Only my dad. It was at that moment I understood everything my father meant to the fans around the world and why he meant so much to his peers.

  My siblings and I were so proud to stand there together as one and cheer him on. One of my favorite things was watching my dad skim the crowd from the ring to see where we were sitting. He always blew us a kiss before the match started.

  Every second of the match felt like it went by in slow motion. The crowd intently watched and reacted to every move he and Shawn made. I couldn’t believe he jumped off the top rope onto Shawn. When I saw him ge
t backdropped over the top rope, I was worried. And Shawn Michaels’s moonsaults were phenomenal. I loved hearing the crowd roar when my dad put Shawn in the figure-four leg lock. I couldn’t wait for the finish. What was his final three count going to look like? After thirty-five years, everything came down to those final minutes. How hard was this for him?

  I knew my brother was watching the match in a different way. Reider idolized our dad and wanted to be him. He was also a huge Shawn Michaels fan. I knew he was watching the match move for move, hold for hold, and trying to figure out why things were being done or not done at certain times and the meaning behind everything. If Reider had ever wanted to lace up a pair of boots and get in that ring, this was the night. It was my brother’s dream and ultimate goal to carry on the Flair name.

  When my dad got up from the mat and put his fists up, I waited for what was next. Shawn hit him with his signature kick, and the referee, Charles Robinson, counted … one … two … three. My siblings and I couldn’t hold in our emotions anymore. Tears streamed down our faces. We were so proud of our father. We were so happy for him and moved at how his life and career were celebrated. We were happy that he had the opportunity to move on to the next chapter of his life while still being in involved in WWE. When he came out of the ring and hugged each of us, I know none of us wanted to let him go, but we had to. He needed to bid farewell to his legions of adoring fans.

  We also cried because we were sad for him. Being identified as a wrestler and a champion and performing in the ring were everything to my father. It was the profession that kept him away from his family for days, weeks, and, when Megan and David were kids, months. To know that all of it just came to an end was an overpowering experience.

  Our family had come together, something that we had not done in a long time, and celebrated my father’s career. It was rare that the four of us were at one of his matches. It was a wonderful night.

  When my dad called us the next morning about going to Raw, I knew it was going to be special for him. It was always a little intimidating being backstage. No matter how old we were, my dad introduced us to everyone we saw. He always wanted people to meet his kids. When we got to the building, we were told that WWE planned a closing segment to the show around a special tribute for him. What they didn’t tell him was the magnitude of the segment and that we’d be coming out to the ring also.