Miz Scarlet and the Holiday Houseguests (A Scarlet Wilson Mystery #3)

by Barton, Sara M.

  “Larry Bear, it’s me, old Maxie. Can you hear me?” he asked in a kindly tone. Those dark brown eyes of hers focused for a moment on the man in front of her, but then closed. “Come on now. Don’t shut me out.”

  Edna was telling Big Larry that he never did have much sense, because if he had been any smarter, he would have known what the problem was and he would have fixed it.

  “Woman, are you out of your mind? How was I supposed to know you weren’t old enough to get married? You said yes when I proposed!”

  “Well, you were always too busy running around that field to take care of me and the baby!”

  “You’re telling me that you divorced me because you lied about your age and I didn’t know that?”

  “No, you big dope! I divorced you so that you would ask me to marry you again, and then we’d be legally married and no one would ever have to know! But you didn’t want me!” With that, Edna burst into tears. “You didn’t love me!”

  “Good God in Heaven,” Big Larry howled. “You’re a stubborn old fool! How many times did I ask you to marry me again and you said no every single time!”

  “Maybe we should give them some privacy,” I suggested, pointing towards the dining room. “Kenny will be here any minute with the pizzas.”

  “I’m not going anywhere,” Lacey replied. “This is getting good.”

  “You never asked me to marry you because you loved me. It was always because you wanted to do right by Laurencia,” Edna accused him. Larry looked up at her mother, wide-eyed wonder in her gaze.

  “Of course I did, I was her father! It was my job to take care of her, to take care of you,” Big Larry retorted.

  “A fine job you did of that. You were always on the road with your team and all those fancy women, those baseball groupies!” Edna glared at the confused coach, even as he scratched his head.

  “There was never anyone but you. Why do you think I never remarried?” demanded the exasperated spitball king. Larry turned her attention to her father, studying him closely.

  “Oh,” sighed Laurel, “he still loves her! It’s a Christmas miracle.”

  “She was an idiot not to tell him the truth,” said Bur, weighing in on the matter.

  “Shush!” I warned him. “Don’t add fuel to the fire!”

  “Pizza’s here.” Kenny stood at the back of the hallway, white cartons stacked up in his gloved hands. “Who’s hungry?”

  Larry suddenly took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, as if she were coming out of a trance. She shook her head, clearing out the invisible cobwebs that had accumulated over the years of endless bickering, stood up, put her arm around her daughter, and walked towards us, even as her parents continued to go at it. “Come on, folks. There’s nothing to see here at this wreck. Let’s let the idiots figure it out on their own.”

  “You okay?” Max wanted to know, as he accompanied her to the dining room.

  “At the moment, I can’t say that I am, Maxie. It’s been a tough day and I’m exhausted. Right now, I want to have some pizza and a glass of red wine. We’ll take it moment by moment, until I’m back on my feet, okay?”

  “Sure, kid.”

  “Does this mean Grandma and Grandpa are getting married again?” Michaela asked her mother, hope shining in those young, innocent eyes.

  “Oh, God, I hope not. At least not until they’ve worked it all out.”

  Kenny and I got busy in the kitchen putting the pizza on platters, while Bur and Mickey set the table. Max poured Larry a glass of Chianti, and then did the same for the rest of the adults. Edna and Big Larry came in and sat down together at a pair of empty seats just as we were all finishing our first round of slices. That’s when Bur did what he does best. He went for the gold medal in the Idiots’ Olympics.

  “Just out of curiosity, how did Michaela get to be named after Mickey Mantle?”

  “Have you no sense at all?” I was incredulous. “We only just now got them sitting at the same table together and you want to go and spoil that?”

  “Shall I?” Edna asked, turning to the former center fielder. He nodded. “It was Michaela’s parents who were at fault. We waited and waited for them to pick a name the baby, but they couldn’t agree on one.”

  “Her father wanted to call her Houston,” Larry informed us.

  “Isn’t that where you two spent your honeymoon?” Max asked. A moment later, he was looking chagrined. “Oh, right.”

  “I suggested Whitney, but my ex said he didn’t want a kid called Witty, because then the other kids would call her Witless or Nitwit....”

  “Me?” Mickey was flabbergasted, missing the obvious adult context to the name game. “I could have been named after Whitney Houston? Why didn’t you do that? It would have been so cool!”

  “After three days of calling her ‘the baby’, it was time to get serious,” said the assistant coach. “So, we benched the parents and tried to come up with one that everyone liked, including the other grandparents.”

  “And?” Bur was on the edge of his seat, anticipating the answer with all the delight of a twelve-year-old.

  “I wanted to call you Elizabeth Louise, after my mother,” Big Larry told Michaela. “I thought that was a pretty name for a little girl. But your mother thought you should have a name that would encourage you to pursue your passions in life. I chalk that up to the fact that Edna insisted we name our baby Laurencia.”

  “That was your idea, not Dad’s?” Judging the shocked expression on her face, this came as news to Larry. Her mother leaned over and patted her hand in a consoling gesture that just sent it over the top.

  “I knew he was hoping for a boy to follow in his footsteps, and given that our marriage was already shaky, I wanted you to have a place in his life. I figured the only way that would happen is if I named you after your father.”

  “I wanted a girl!” Big Larry broke in. “Woman, you really do need to stop assuming you know what I am thinking!”

  “Get to the good part,” Bur interrupted impatiently. “Why was Larry’s daughter named after Mickey Mantle?”

  “Big Larry bet me that I knew nothing at all about baseball,” Edna told us. “He promised that if I could think of one single other center fielder in the history of baseball besides him, I could name the baby whatever I wanted.”

  “And you just let that happen?” Bur asked Larry. “You didn’t stop it?”

  “Are you kidding? I had no idea my mother would be able to do it. She was so fierce about her loathing for the game I figured it wouldn’t matter, so I got in on the bet. I thought it would be hilarious.”

  “I don’t really hate the sport,” Edna Rae Moore confessed to the group. “I was just jealous that Big Larry always spent all his time at the ball field.”

  “Get to the good part,” Bur encouraged them. “What made you name your granddaughter after a Yankee?”

  “Big Larry got belligerent, being the hot head that he is,” she gave him a sideways glance, “and he demanded that I spit out a name right then and there, so I did. Mickey Mantle was the only name that popped into my mind. I didn’t actually know what position he played or that he was a Yankee until later.”

  Ah, revenge is sweet, especially when it’s earned by sheer dumb luck. Just like when she took an earlier flight from Atlanta and needed a ride from the airport.

  “Oh good God! My granddaughter was named after Mantle because of a lucky guess? Woman, do you know how much ribbing I took about that? For years, the guys on the Red Sox gave me hell because my grandkid was named after a Yankee!”

  “Gee,” Edna smiled slyly at the man beside her, “that must have been tough for you.”

  “Time out!” Larry broke in, throwing her hands into a T formation. “The Rivera family is officially on vacation. From this moment on, we will be the perfect houseguests at the Four Acorns Inn. Understood?”

  There was a long silence as Big Larry busied himself with another glass of wine and Edna smoothed out the non-existent wrinkles of her dress
. Mickey watched her grandparents with fascination.

  “I’m waiting,” Larry reminded her parents sternly. “I expect an answer.”

  “Understood,” her father acknowledged, albeit it a tad grudgingly.

  “Fine,” her mother agreed congenially. I didn’t buy it. I was pretty sure she’d yank her ex-husband’s chain the first chance she got. Then again, maybe that was part of the mating dance.

  “Michaela?”

  The teenager bristled at her mother’s stern tone. “What did I do? Why am I in trouble?”

  “You’re not at the moment. I’d like to keep it that way.”

  “Oh, okay.” She flashed her mother a metallic smile, the braces catching the light of the chandelier above. “Can I have the last piece of pizza?”

  Mickey glanced around the table, hoping that no one else would chump her. I put her out of her misery.

  “Absolutely. Eat up. And as soon as you’re done, how about we show Edna and Big Larry to their rooms?” I suggested.

  “I’ll just collect my things and get out of your hair,” Max said, standing up quickly.

  “You’re leaving?” Larry seemed surprised, and even a little disappointed. “Do you have to go?”

  “Well, don’t you need the room, Scarlet?” He looked directly at me. “The inn is rather full tonight.”

  “The more the merrier,” Laurel replied. “This is a big house.”

  “Surely we can figure something out,” her cousin added. The Googins girls are romantics at heart.

  “Is there any reason you and your mom can’t share a room, just for tonight?” I asked Larry. “You’ve got twin beds.”

  “I’d like that,” Edna smiled. “After all, I’m the one who showed up a day early.”

  “Yes, you are. But I can go home to my condo, now that all the drama is over and everyone is safe.” The off-duty homicide investigator put her napkin on the table, not realizing the impact of her words on the latecomers.

  “Drama? What drama?” Mickey wondered. “Did I miss something today?”

  “Safe? Who wasn’t safe?” Bur wanted to know.

  “Long story. You’ll hear all about it tomorrow,” Larry promised, desperately trying to take it back, but it was too late. Bur’s bad behavior had already rubbed off on me, so I jumped in with both feet.

  “Don’t go. There will probably be reporters hanging around your condo, knocking on the door all night long. It’s going to be in the papers,” I reminded her. “Stay here. Stay with us.”

  “I demand to know what’s going on,” Big Larry said. “What are you not telling us?”

  Larry looked at both her parents, took a deep breath, and stumbled over the words. “Del Robbins showed up on my doorstep, to finish what he started.”

  “Oh dear Lord!” Edna’s fingers flew up to her mouth as a gasp escaped. “I thought he was still in prison!”

  “He was supposed to be. He forged papers and got himself illegally released,” Max announced.

  “How in God’s name did that happen?” The baseball coach was appalled. As he slapped the table in frustration, I realized just what a chip off the old block Larry was.

  “Where there’s a will, apparently there’s a way,” sighed the retired state trooper. “His timing was impeccable, wasn’t it?”

  “The anniversary of that nightmare all those years ago,” Larry remarked woodenly. That haunted look returned to her face, the one I had seen in the living room, when she was forced to sit next to her captor on the sofa.

  “Who’s Del Robbins?” her daughter wondered.

  “Del Robbins kidnapped and murdered your mom’s college roommate.” Big Larry glowered. “He’s a very, very bad man. Did he hurt you, baby?”

  She paused, taking a big gulp of air, hungry to breathe. As I watched, I could imagine her as a terrified college student. The horror never really leaves you. It’s permanently etched on your soul.

  “No, Daddy, we got him. He’s not going to get out for a very, very long time.”

  A moment later, Larry was sharing the story of how she became a state police trooper, a career move that occurred because of a vicious killer, a man who lured Larry and two roommates into a chamber of horrors up at Lake Warrington during their Christmas break. “He turned his back on me for just a moment, and that’s when I grabbed the fireplace poker and beat him with it.”

  “I taught her how to handle a bat,” Big Larry said proudly. “She’s a powerful slugger. Men don’t expect that.”

  “My other roommate had a nervous breakdown. Lucy was never the same after the attack. I had to testify at Del Robbins’ trial. He was found guilty on all counts and sentenced to thirty years. At the hearing, he vowed that he’d come after me someday and make me pay for putting him behind bars.”

  “I’ve always said this cop job was dangerous,” her father informed her. “You should quit, get a sensible position with reasonable hours.”

  “Actually,” Kenny pointed out, “the only reason Larry was in danger was because she was the victim of a crime while in college. She survived today because she’s a great cop.”

  “Here, here!” We all raised our glasses in tribute.

  “And because she has some friends who really love her,” Max added. “What Miz Scarlet did in the living room with that cheese platter was remarkable. And let’s not forget Captain Peacock in the library with the remote wireless camera. That was quick thinking.”

  “You’re not exactly chopped liver, Max. Del never suspected you had a gun under that lap blanket,” I said.

  “Well done,” Bur concurred, with a nod to his competition.

  “I’m just glad we didn’t have a ‘shoot ‘em up’ scene in the living room,” said the retired state cop. We were lucky no one got hurt.”

  “That’s because it’s Christmas,” said the teenager, her arm draped over Larry’s shoulder. “Santa knows I need my mom.”

  “I’m not sure it was Santa’s doing,” Edna suggested, as she raised her eyes to the ceiling. “I think there were far more powerful forces at work.”

  “Amen to that.” Big Larry bowed his head. “We have been blessed, haven’t we? My daughter bested a menacing killer, I got my Edna Rae to admit she loves me, and we’re staying at the Four Acorns Inn for the holiday. What more can a man ask for?”

  “How about asking for a son-in-law who’s crazy about our daughter?” Edna glanced at Larry. Time again for a distraction, Miz Scarlet. I reached into my pocket and pulled out Max’s credit card.

  “Here you go. We never did get around to giving it to Larry, did we?” I slid the plastic rectangle across the table to him. Scooping it up in his hand, Max tapped it twice on the table and then inserted it into a slot in his wallet, which he then put into his jacket pocket.

  “Good thing,” she laughed. “Del would have realized the jig was up when he saw the name on the card. No wonder you didn’t hand it over, Scarlet.”

  “Why did it have to be a Bank of America credit card,” I asked the retired homicide investigator, “why not TD Bank or Citibank?”

  “Larry Bear and I had a running conversation at work during the mortgage scandal. She swore she’d never have an account with Bank of America until they changed their business practices. It was just my way of letting her know I was here at the inn and I had her back.”

  “You have no idea how good it sounded to hear Scarlet say those words. I thought I was a goner,” my friend admitted. She had been through a lot in one day. I was glad she was staying for another night. “Your acting performance, Max, was worthy of an Oscar.”

  “I had an uncle who suffered a stroke. I used to help my aunt take care of him,” he told us. “But don’t get used to me hobbling around. I’m due to get kneed replacement surgery in January. I hope you’ll visit me in the hospital, Larry Bear.”

  “You should come to the Four Acorns Inn to recuperate,” Laurel suggested, her expression brightening at the thought. Was it because Larry lived nearby? I could see the excitement i
n the eyes of the Googins girls. They were already plotting their campaign to bring the lovebirds together. “Scarlet can arrange for you to have your therapy on the sun porch and she’ll pamper the heck out of you.”

  “I must admit that’s a tempting idea, especially if I have visitors to cheer me up.”

  “I’ll come see you,” Mickey promised. Max smiled at that.

  “I hope you’re not the only one,” said the smitten man. He glanced up at Larry in time to see her blush.

  “You’d better not be,” Edna told her granddaughter, even as she frowned at her daughter. And then she muttered something under her breath that had the Googins girls giggling. “It never fails to amaze me how smart people can be so dumb....A man like that stands by you all those years and you can’t even tell him how you feel? It’s a crime.”

  “There’s the pot calling the kettle black,” Big Larry said out of the corner of his mouth, in his daughter’s direction. “The woman divorced me because she thought I knew she wanted to marry me!”

  “Hush!” Larry shushed her parents. “We have a truce!”

  “Hey, Max, does this mean you’re finally going to open that bar down in Florida?” I wondered.

  “It’s a shame to waste new knees pounding the pavement for a defense attorney like Darwin Pellman,” Larry added.

  “Well, actually, I’ve already taken a new position with a security firm in the area.” Max sat back in his chair with a rather smug expression on his face.

  “You did?” We were all surprised, no one more than Max’s old partner. But as I gazed around the faces at the table, there was one person who didn’t seem shocked in the least bit. Kenny. He gave me a wink.

  “I bet I know who you’re working for,” I announced gleefully. “Mercer Security!”

  “I am. I start in January, right after my surgery.”

  We all congratulated him. I took it as a good sign. Max was serious about Larry. Larry, on the other hand, was a little slow on the uptake.

  “Hey, I thought you offered me that job,” Larry cried, shaking a fist at Kenny. It was true. He had tried to recruit her a few months ago, but she turned him down flat. “You rat!”