“If you want to come out next week, I’ll be here,” he said, his voice gruff.
Emma hugged him again, then with a final wobbly smile, left. Left him alone with Maddy.
He couldn’t face her yet. His whole world was turning upside down and he didn’t want to drag her into the mess, so he walked out of the cave, over to the edge of the crashing waves.
He felt her follow just as the sound of the rotor blades started up.
“I guess you’re staying another night,” he said.
She stood beside him and faced the ocean with him, not demanding his attention, just being there. “I’ll stay down in the assistant’s room. I couldn’t leave you alone here while you were caught up in all this again.”
He nodded. It didn’t mean anything that she’d stayed—he was hurting and Maddy would never leave someone in pain.
“Just so you know, I’m not sorry.” A tremor ran through her voice. “You’ll probably hate me until your dying breath for bringing Emma out, but I love you too much to let you go on the way you were. I had to do something.”
Still watching the waves, he reached out for her hand, found it, and squeezed. The connection was like a lifeline amid the turmoil whirling around him, keeping him grounded, safe. But he couldn’t look at her yet. Couldn’t risk what he’d find in her expression. Her pity would kill him.
“I don’t hate you, Maddy,” he said on a heavy sigh. “Truth be told, there were a lot of adults who knew about the real situation—my parents, my grandparents, aunts and uncles. You’re the first person who’s ever tried to make things better for me. The first person besides Emma who didn’t blame me.” He’d never forget what she’d done for him, and for Emma, today.
She brought their joined hands up to her cheek. “I can leave tomorrow if you want, but we’re going to have to talk about where this leaves us at some point.”
“Later.” He could barely think straight, so talking about their marriage or the future was beyond him.
“I’m in no rush,” she said, and leaned against him.
He released her hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her even closer. Standing side by side with Maddy, looking out to sea, he finally felt a little of the peace that had always evaded him.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
That night, Maddy climbed out of the shower, toweled off, and pulled on shorts and a tank top. With the storm gone, the usual December heat had returned.
At least something about this year’s Christmas was normal.
Everything else that had happened today was so far beyond normal that she was still having trouble processing it. From sleeping with her husband again on Christmas Eve—twice—to Samuel finally sharing the secret he’d been holding, to the heartbreaking scene she’d witnessed between brother and sister down at the cave.
During the afternoon, she’d parked herself in the living room and sorted through her camera equipment and the archive of her photos. She wanted to be available if Samuel needed her, but out of his hair if he needed some time alone. She hadn’t seen him at all since the light lunch they’d shared.
Finger-combing her damp hair, she headed for the kitchen to see if she could help with dinner. Samuel had said earlier he was happy to cook since she’d made pasta the night before, but she wondered if he had just wanted something for his restless energy to do.
But he was nowhere to be seen when she reached the kitchen. She continued on down the hall and found him standing in the living room in front of the large bay windows. He’d decorated the room with a few scraggly strings of tinsel that he must have found in the attic, and perched a bedraggled angel in the middle of the coffee table. There were even two presents wrapped in what looked like white copy paper sitting beside the angel. Her breath caught high in her throat. She’d never seen anything so beautiful. So utterly perfect.
“Dinner’s ready, but I want to do something first,” he said, his voice hoarse, as if he hadn’t spoken in an age. Then he held out his hand, his expression giving nothing away.
She didn’t hesitate to cross the room and take the hand he offered. “What do you have in mind?”
With his free hand, he reached for one of the gifts and handed it to her. “Merry Christmas, Maddy.”
They were words he’d never freely offered her before, and they, combined with the attempt at decorating, showed just how far he’d come today. She couldn’t have been prouder.
She took the little white package, but then hesitated. “I didn’t get you anything.”
“That’s okay,” he said with a small smile. “There’s one here for me.”
She blinked. He’d even organized a gift for himself? “It seems you’ve thought of everything.” She picked up the second present and handed it to him. “Merry Christmas, Samuel.”
He leaned in and kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”
“You open yours first,” she said, anticipation starting to fizz in her belly. “I’m dying to see what you got yourself.”
He ripped at the thick white paper until he’d uncovered a picture frame. Inside was a grainy photo of a chubby baby. Smiling, he brushed his fingertips over the glass and then handed it to her.
“This is Victoria?” she asked, astonished.
He swallowed hard before answering. “Emma scanned in a photo she had and emailed it over earlier. I printed it out and found an old frame. Victoria deserves a place on the wall with the other family photos.”
Tears filled her eyes. He was sharing something that was sacred to him, and that touched her, deep in her soul. “I think that’s a beautiful idea.”
She gazed at the photo for a long time, and then set the frame down on the coffee table and wrapped her arms around him, wishing she could take away all his pain. He whispered her name as his arms closed around her and squeezed her tight, and then she felt a shudder rip through him. They stood for long minutes, locked in each other’s embrace, until Samuel finally took a deep breath, pressed a kiss to her hair, and eased back.
Then he nudged the other present still in her hands. “Open yours.”
Grinning, she tore the paper and inside found a pair of crocheted booties that looked close to being antique. She carefully turned them over, her heart in her mouth, looking at the lace detail around the edge. “Where did you get these?”
“In the attic. I found them this afternoon when I was looking for tinsel.” He waved a hand at the sad array of decorations, then his gaze fell back on the booties. “I don’t know who they originally belonged to, but if you don’t like them, I’ll replace them with an armful of new ones as soon as the stores open again tomorrow.”
“They’re perfect.” And so much more than she’d expected.
“They’re for the baby. If you’re pregnant.”
A thick ball of emotion pressed on her throat. She put the booties beside Victoria’s picture, and placed her hands on his cheeks, framing his face. “Samuel, I understand now. About what you went through. If I’m carrying our baby, you don’t have to be involved. I’ll tell him or her what a great dad they have, but I’ll never push you.”
He turned his head and kissed her palm, and then linked his thumbs through the belt loops on her shorts. “Today, for the first time, I’ve been able to think about Victoria herself. Not just about how she died. You gave me that.”
She opened her mouth to protest, to point out everything he’d done himself in facing his fears today, but he placed a finger over her lips and smiled. “You gave me that.” He dropped his finger back to her belt loop, holding her close. “In the past, when thoughts of her slipped past my guard, the only emotions I could feel were overwhelming guilt and grief. But today I’ve been remembering how cute she was. Remembering that sometimes I’d stand and stare at her for ages, wiggling little toys in front of her to get her to wave her arms. I remembered how much I loved her.”
“Knowing you, I don’t doubt that in the least.” Samuel had a huge heart.
He leaned his forehead down to meet
hers. “I’ve been so terrified of hurting someone small and defenseless that I haven’t let myself consider opening up to that kind of love again. But I considered it today, and I realized I do want that again. If you’re carrying my baby, I want the three of us to be a family.”
Maddy drew in one breath, then another. This was what she’d wanted for so long now, wanted it more than anything, and she needed to make sure she wasn’t reading something into his words that wasn’t there. That she wasn’t getting ahead of herself.
She leaned away, and then took a step back so she could see his eyes when she asked her next question. “And if I’m not pregnant?”
A smile broke out on his face, wide and genuine and full of love. “Then we’ll have to try again.”
“Are you sure?” she couldn’t help asking.
“I want this. I want you.” With a joyful laugh rumbling in his chest, he swept her up into his arms and swung her around. “I want it all.”
As the room spun around her, she clung to the man she loved, to her husband, and laughed with him. “I love you, Samuel,” she said, her heart overflowing.
He slowed and came to a stop, and then released her into a slow slide down his body, until her feet touched the floor. “I’ve always loved you, Maddy,” he whispered, gaze intense. “You’re my everything.”
Maddy tipped up her chin and kissed him, not caring about the tears slipping down her face, not caring about the world outside. Not caring about anything but the man holding her in his arms, and that she’d never be apart from him again.
EPILOGUE
December 25, three years later…
Maddy hit the timer on her camera and ran to stand in the middle of the family group. “Everyone say Christmas!”
“Christmas!” called Samuel, Maddy, Emma, and Craig. Lochie barked happily, making his reindeer antlers fall askew.
From his father’s lap, Craig and Emma’s little boy, Jonathon, made a valiant effort, but at only two, the best he could manage was something closer to “Fwisma.”
Emma held a framed photo of Victoria against her chest so all of them were in their annual Christmas photo, a tradition that was now in its third year.
After the flash had gone off, Samuel held their daughter, three-month-old Jane Victoria Ruxthorn, higher in his arms and placed a delicate kiss on her forehead, and Maddy wished she’d kept the camera in her hands to capture the moment. Instead, she leaned in, and Samuel smiled and kissed her too.
They’d considered giving their little girl Victoria as a first name, but decided that Jane deserved her own name as much as Victoria deserved to be remembered for herself.
She straightened Jane’s bright red Christmas dress, then headed for the tripod. “One more. This time, everyone say reindeer.”
Once the photo was done—amongst much cheering and laughing—Emma and Craig took Jonathon over to the tree to get ready for the presents being handed out, but Samuel and Maddy lingered.
“Happy?” Maddy whispered, despite the evidence in his eyes.
“More than I thought possible.” With Jane held securely against his chest with one arm, he pulled Maddy to his side with the other. “When we were first married, I was happy, but there was always the fear lurking in the back of my mind that you’d discover the real me and leave. But you did discover the real me, and you stayed. You’re my Christmas miracle.”
She reached up and placed a slow kiss on his lips, melting into him. Melting into their love. She’d once thought she had to choose between the two things she wanted most in the world, yet here both those dreams were, together. She eased back from Samuel to catch a glimpse of their baby. “Hey, little one,” she cooed, and was rewarded with waving fists.
Happy tears stung her eyes. Samuel leaned his temple against hers as they gazed at Jane until they were disturbed by a camera flash. Maddy looked up and saw Emma grinning.
“The photo might not be good enough to hang in your big exhibition next month, but I had to take a snapshot. You three are too adorable together.”
Samuel chuckled as his sister melted away into the background again.
He pressed his lips to Maddy’s ear, and said in a low, rumbling voice, “Merry Christmas, Maddy.”
Maddy’s heart expanded until her body didn’t feel like it could contain it anymore. With one hand on her daughter’s small head, and the other on her husband’s cheek, she whispered, “Merry Christmas, Samuel.”
And in that moment she knew for sure that Christmas miracles were real.
A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
Dear Reader,
Samuel and Maddy have been in my head for a long time now. I even wrote their first chapter a couple of years ago so they’d be quiet and I could work on the books that were already under contract. Yeah, that technique might work with other story ideas, but not for Samuel and Maddy. They were strong characters from the start, and their pain from being separated from each other was too raw, so they kept piping up and demanding I let them have their Happily Ever After.
When the idea of putting together a LoveCats DownUnder box set was first discussed, I knew just the couple to write about. I’ve loved spending time with these two, and helping them find their way back to each other. And now their story is done and about to be released into the world, I have mixed feelings—I’m thrilled they’ve finally found their HEA, but I’m a little sad to leave them behind. After all, they’ve been with me for a while. They’re practically old friends!
Of course, the other character in this story is Lochie. He was based on a real Lochie who belonged to my mother. The real-life Lochie was a miniature Irish Wolfhound (about 2 feet tall), though if you’d asked him, he would have told you he was a giant. My mother called him Little Scruff and he was a complete sweetheart.
I hope you enjoyed Samuel and Maddy’s (and Lochie’s!) story. And if you’d like some behind the scenes glimpses into this book, drop over to my website: http://www.rachelbailey.com
Happy reading!
Rachel
Rachel Bailey is a lover of books, chocolate, dogs, and ice cream. Luckily, she has four dogs, an ice cream maker, a steady supply of chocolate, and bookshelves overflowing with books, so she’s covered on all fronts. Despite spending her life trying to scam more time to read, she’s managed to graduate with degrees in psychology and social work, and now has her dream job - making up stories for a living.
Her books have hit the USA Today bestseller list, are published in over twenty-six countries and have been translated into sixteen languages. She lives on a piece of paradise (ten acres of native trees on the side of a hill, within driving distance to the beach) on Australia’s east coast with her own personal hero. She loves to sit with a dog or two, overlooking the trees and read books from her ever-growing to-be-read pile.
You can find out about her other books at www.rachelbailey.com, and see her pages for each book (including this one) on Pinterest (rachelbaileyboo). And if you’re on Facebook, she’d love to connect! Find her at: www.facebook.com/RachelBaileyBooks
CHRISTMAS WISHES, NEW YEAR KISSES
~
MICHELLE DOUGLAS
Thanks go to Kelly Hunter and Rachel Bailey for their insightful and much appreciated editing suggestions. A big thank you is also owed to Judy Griffiths for reading an early draft of the manuscript.
This story is for my fellow LoveCats—for the coffee dates, Skype sessions, and schmoozy conference catch-ups. Thank you, ladies, for the support, the laughter and the friendship.
Copyright © 2015 Michelle Douglas
All rights reserved.
CHAPTER ONE
Mrs. Matthews took Buster the pug from Josh’s arms and snuggled her face into his fur, her garish Christmas earrings blinking green and red. “I’m glad he had a good night and I’m glad it’s you conducting the clinic today, Dr. Josh.”
Josh reached out to scratch behind Buster’s ear, wondering if Mrs. Matthews was going to try and set him up with her niece again. “Why’s that?”
>
“Buster prefers you to Dr. Timms.”
He bit back a snort.
“It’s widely held that you have a greater affinity with animals than…than anyone else in town.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets and fought back a frown. “You’re wrong, Mrs. Matthews. I don’t mean to scare you, but Buster owes his current state of good health, and in all likelihood his life, to Dr. Timms.”
“Her bedside manner, though!” Nevertheless, Mrs. Matthews clutched her beloved pet closer.
“She wouldn’t tell you this, but she sat up half the night with Buster until his temperature came down. I doubt very much Buster here had any complaints about her bedside manner.”
“Goodness!”
Josh heaved back a sigh. One thing he wouldn’t argue with—he had a better bedside manner with the owners of the pets they treated here at Belltrees Veterinary Practice than Erin did. If he said anything to her about it, though, she’d demand to know why that mattered. She’d say saving the animals’ lives was the most important thing.
Which was true, but this was the third veiled complaint he’d had to field about Erin this week. He went into damage control. “You probably don’t know this,” he started in a low undertone meant to make Mrs. Matthews feel privileged, as if let into a secret. “But Erin had to have Raggedy Ann put down last week.”
Mrs. Matthews’ eyes immediately filled. “Oh, my, she’s had that dog since she was…”
“Twelve,” he supplied for her.
“No wonder she’s so down in the mouth. And then there’s her mother. That woman is enough to turn a saint sour.”
True enough, but Josh had no intention of gossiping further about his fellow vet and business partner. “What do you have planned for Christmas, Mrs. Matthews? Can you believe it’ll all be over in a few days?”
“My sister and her family are coming to stay. You made quite an impression on my niece the last time she was here.”
Her gaze turned speculative and it was all Josh could do not to run his finger around the collar of his shirt. “Uh, that’s nice.”
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