Hot Christmas Nights

by Rachel Bailey

  “Neve’s okay. They kept her in overnight for observation but they’re releasing her today. She missed her flight, but I’ve sorted that out.”

  “So you’re just packing her up and sending her home?”

  “What else am I supposed to do? She has to get back to her family and I’ll be back in the office in a few days.”

  Annabel had immediately figured out something was going on between them when Damian had called to let her know about Neve’s accident last night. He’d needed to talk to someone and she was the only other person he knew who understood what it meant to be the one pacing the halls. Waiting. Being fucking terrified that the person you cared about had bumped their head the wrong way.

  That they wouldn’t wake up.

  He wasn’t sure what was more terrifying, the thought that she might have been seriously injured or the fact that he cared about her.

  “Are you going with her?” Annabel asked. “I mean, after you’ve finished up this case?”

  “No.”

  “Why wouldn’t you?” She huffed, as if he was the most stupid person on the face of the earth. “I thought you said you had feelings for her.”

  He should never have told Annabel that.

  “I do,” he muttered. “But that’s beside the point. What if I screw things up the way I did with you? You know I suck at emotional stuff. I almost didn’t come back to the hospital today.”

  “What’s holding you back, Damian? Because that’s not how I remember you being.”

  Fear. What if he took the plunge and then he screwed up? What if she couldn’t handle having to poke and prod him to get him to talk? What if he loved her and it turned out that wasn’t enough?

  Love. It was too big, too risky, too…much.

  “You never get involved with anyone and then you fall for a woman in one week?” Annabel said. He could imagine her shaking her head in that big sister way of hers. “How can you not see that as an important sign?”

  “I don’t believe in signs.”

  “If this is about Mum and Dad…”

  “What if it is?” he said, staring out of the hospital window into the little garden where people sat in the sunshine. Some carted oxygen masks around or bags of fluid. He remembered the tubes coming out of his mother’s arms and chest and nose, his young naive heart hoping they would be filling her body with things that would make her better.

  “People die.” Annabel sighed. “It’s a shitty fact of life but it is what it is. If you don’t make an effort to live to the fullest then you’re one foot in the grave, anyway.”

  “It’s not me I’m worried about.”

  “I know that. Don’t you think I knew exactly why you shut me out all these years? You were scared to lose me too. So you pushed me away, because it’s impossible to lose what you don’t have.”

  And that meant in the long run he was ensuring that he’d have nothing. No one. He’d set himself up to be completely and utterly alone. Is that the kind of life he deserved?

  He sank down into one of the waiting room chairs as if his bones had turned to jelly. “I don’t want to lose her but it might happen anyway.”

  “Yes, it might. But do you really want to use that as an excuse?”

  The idea that he wasn’t cut out for relationships was a wall he had put between him and others to ensure he didn’t get hurt. Only he’d never looked at it that way before. Ultimately, it came down to two options. If he pushed Neve away now, he was certain to lose her. If he took a chance…well, they might end up making it through the hard stuff.

  “I want to be with her,” he said. He’d hoped that admitting it aloud might have lifted the weight from his shoulders, but it didn’t. Not when they still had so much for figure out. “I don’t know how we’re going to make it work but I’m done with the easy route.”

  “Dad would be really proud of you,” Annabel said. “He really would. You care about people just like he did.”

  “I really thought following in his footsteps was the right thing to do.”

  Focusing on his career and being the best lawyer he could be was the stone he carried around his neck as a misguided sense of duty to his father—thinking he was doing the right thing by others when in reality he was shielding himself.

  “What are you going to do?” Annabel asked.

  “I’m going to come clean and tell her how I feel.” His heart thudded like a sledgehammer against his chest. “I have no idea what happens after that.”

  It was unchartered territory and he was at risk of drowning.

  He ended the call and put the phone back in his pocket. Possibilities swirled in his head, tempting him with what could be. He had an obligation to his clients to fight the ruling in their suit and he wouldn’t leave them in the lurch. No way, no how.

  But beyond that…excitement bubbled in his veins. Beyond that he could do whatever he wanted.

  When he walked into Neve’s room, he found her sitting up. Her beautiful face was peppered with cuts, a particularly nasty one on her cheek had been stitched up. A mottled bruise marred the other side of her face.

  “Hey,” she said, relief seeping into her expression. “I thought you’d gone.”

  “I got a taxi back to the house to feed Tilly.” The words jumbled in his mouth, tripping over the emotion that welled up within him. “I drove your rental back.”

  Jesus, he couldn’t break down now. He had to be strong for her, for them both. But he remembered being in the hospital, watching his mother through the window as she slept…not knowing at the time that she’d never wake up.

  Traumatic brain injuries. Broken bones. Internal bleeding.

  His stomach pitched so hard he thought he might lose his lunch. How could he not have seen that car racing towards them? He should done something. Anything.

  It had seemed so easy a moment ago to make brave proclamations but now he waded through the reality of it. Through his fear, through the tempting call of his comfort zone.

  “The doctor said I’m all good to go home.” Her fingertips traced patterns on the sheet. “Pretty lucky, huh?”

  “Would have been luckier not to crash at all.”

  “How are you holding up?” Her eyes creased with concern.

  “Why the hell are you asking about me, when you’re the one who’s all banged up? Jesus, Neve.” He raked a hand through his hair. Nothing he did quelled the restless energy in his limbs.

  She pushed the pristine white covers down and he saw a bandage on her chest where the glass had cut into her skin. All those cuts and not a single one had hit anything major, thankfully. She was right, it could have been so much worse.

  “I just thought…you know, since you’ve been here before. I wanted to make sure you’re coping.”

  “I’m fine,” he repeated, shoving the words out through gritted teeth. Her selfless question made him feel even more disgusted with himself for the fact that he’d been tempted to run away. Again. “I rebooked your flight last night. I figured I’ll drive you in the rental car and then I can get a taxi back to the city.”

  His car was totaled and it had been towed off to wherever cars go after an accident. One thing he knew for certain, he wouldn’t be seeing that car again.

  “I told the airline that you’d be a little worse for wear but the doctor said you were fine to fly. And I uh…” He paused for a moment and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I upgraded you to first class. Figured you’d be more comfortable that way. I told the airline to take care of you.”

  “Thank you,” her voice was soft.

  “Now, we’ll need to make sure someone meets you at the other end since you’ll be sore and I don’t want you to lift that heavy bag.” His mind raced, back peddling away from the promise he’d made to come clean to her. What if he couldn’t get the words out? What if he messed it up? “Do you even have a house back home? Could you stay with your parents? If you need money I’ll give you whatever you—”

  “Damian.” She held up a hand but
he barreled on.

  “—And the doctor said you might experience some headaches from the bump on your head. I bought you some pain killers and anti-inflammatories for now and I checked with the airline that you can take them with you in your carry on.” He sucked in a deep breath. “You have to take them with food, though, because they’re strong and—”

  “Damian!”

  The room plunged into silence. “What?”

  “I have to tell you something.” She motioned for him to come closer and held her arms out when he stopped next to the bed.

  He wanted to scoop her up and rain kisses down on her to show her how much he cared. But fear held him stiff, not allowing him to move a muscle.

  “Please come here.” She wriggled her fingers at him. “I don’t bite.”

  Dropping slowly onto her bed, he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to her nose.

  “That’s better.” She smiled and wrapped her hand around his. “Now, you know I’m okay right?”

  “Yes, the doctor said so.”

  “And you know that this isn’t your fault.” Her deep blue eyes pierced right through him. “Don’t even try to tell me it is.”

  “I was driving, Neve.” The lump in his chest grew to boulder-size. “I should have seen—”

  “Bullshit.” She slapped his hand. “Stop it right now. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “I just wish I’d been able to stop it.”

  She pushed up from the stack of pillows behind her head and reached for him. “I know.”

  “Remember when you told me my father would want me to be happy?” He slipped his hand up to cup her jaw. Her breath hitched. “I’ve been happier this week with you than I’ve ever been.”

  “Me too.” Her eyes fluttered closed and she pressed into his touch.

  “I know I’m going to be miserable without you.” His thumb stroked her cheek.

  “So don’t be.” Her hand slipped over his. “I love you and I want to be with you.”

  The words hit him like lightning. “What?”

  “I. Love. You.” She repeated the words slowly and clearly as if speaking to a child. “I don’t think this was your fault. And I know you care about me, but I need to know if you think we can make this work. I was ready to go home but if you love me too…”

  His heart pounded in his ribcage as he tried to form the words, but his mind whirred.

  “Don’t you dare ignore me, Damian Alessio.” Her voice wavered with emotion. “How do you feel? Please just tell me.”

  He wanted to give her everything, but what if his heart had been locked up so long it had forgotten how to work? He was rusty. Unpracticed at love. His father’s face flashed before his eyes and the words that’d been drummed into his head from an early age got louder and louder in his mind.

  You never walk away because something is difficult. You stand and you fight for what you believe in.

  He turned to face her and his heart clenched at the sight of the white sheets bundled up in her fists, of the shimmer of tears in her eyes. “I love you, too.”

  “Why does it sound like there’s a ‘but’ coming?”

  “You’ve been away from your family for so long and believe me I would do anything to have time back with my parents. I can’t let you give them up.”

  Neve sat in the hospital bed, toying with the edge of a crisp white bed sheet. Never before had she been so torn between two things. Her gut told her that Damian was right, she needed to go home and make up for lost time with her family. She needed to put her gratitude into action and show them how much she loved them.

  But she loved him too. And knowing that it was mutual made it even harder to walk away. If only he could come with her…but that was being selfish. He’d have to give up his career and while Kite Harbor had a local law firm, it wasn’t anything like working out of a big metropolitan city.

  She was so frustrated she could have torn the hospital bed sheet in two.

  He leaned in and rested his forehead against hers. “We have to find another way.”

  The sound of the hospital faded away, the noise and clatter and stress all evaporating, until nothing remained but the two of them. A soothing warmth filtered through her veins, softening her. Allowing her to believe.

  “But how?” She didn’t want to risk bursting the bubble of his confession by asking, but she had to know.

  “I can’t come with you yet because I have to sort out this one last case. But I want you to trust me that I’ll make it work.” His thumb brushed over her cheekbone. “I will find a way to be with you.”

  Her heart clenched. “So you want me to go home tomorrow?”

  “You have to be with your family. I’ll only be a phone call or Skype session away, and we’ll work through this together.”

  “Promise?”

  “I promise. I love you more than anything.” When his lips met hers it felt as though the world had started to right itself, his touch smoothed over her fears. “I will find a way. I won’t let you go.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  Two months later…

  “Hold still!”

  Neve tried not to blink as Shelby Jenkins, her brother’s fiancée and former plus-size model, applied eyeliner to her lower lash line. Shelby had a deft hand when it came to makeup and she’d agreed to help Neve get ready for a night out at the local brew pub where they were having some kind of mid-winter festival party.

  “See, it’s all worth it.” Shelby grinned as she held up a mirror and allowed Neve to inspect her handiwork. “The eyeliner totally makes it.”

  Neve had to agree, the smoldering image staring back at her was a far cry from the battered and bruised woman who’d landed in her hometown two months ago. The cuts had healed, although the one on her chest had left a scar. But it wasn’t anything that the right top couldn’t hide.

  The aching heart, however, was another story.

  She’d never thought it possible to miss another person with the ferocity that she missed Damian…and Tilly. Sure, they texted daily and Skyped every few days—making do as best they could with the frustrating time difference—but it wasn’t the same. And the worst thing was she didn’t know when it would get better.

  Thankfully, it hadn’t taken her long to find a job. Calling on the help of a friend, she’d found a position as a server and bartender at Bruno’s Bar and Grille. Being back in the thick of the Kite Harbor community had helped to keep her busy enough that she wasn’t moping around too much.

  She was still staying with her father and stepmother at their insistence. But sleeping in her teenager bed was getting cramped and she wanted her own space. A space she could share with Damian.

  “You still with us?” Shelby laughed and gave her arm a squeeze. “Come on, it’s time to get moving.”

  They donned their coats, boots and gloves before leaving the house. After her blissful Christmas vacation in Australia, the cold felt even harsher. It cut through her thick layers and numbed her nose.

  By the time they made it to Jerry’s Steakhouse and Brewery, the place was jumping. The bar was covered in samples of their seasonal winter menu and people milled about drinking champagne and local beer. Neve spotted a dozen familiar faces, old friends and coworkers, schoolmates and then her brother.

  Nate enveloped both Neve and Shelby at one, tucking one woman under each arm and giving them a squeeze. “I’m so happy to see you two together.”

  “Neve let me do her makeup,” Shelby said, her green eyes sparkling. “Doesn’t she look amazing?”

  “Very fancy,” he said, grinning from ear to ear. “Have I told you today that I’m so glad you’re home?”

  “You don’t have to tell me every day, Nate.” But she hadn’t yet grown tired of hearing it.

  As painful as it had been getting on the plane in Melbourne, she was truly home. But the feeling was bittersweet—she missed Damian constantly. Considering she’d now been away from him almost eight times as long as they’d been together, the ache
should have faded. But the gaping hole in her life had only stretched wider.

  He promised he’d make it work, you have to trust him.

  But there was still a niggling fear he’d change his mind. That he’d end up being like her mother and their relationship would be tucked away in the ‘too hard’ basket.

  “How about a drink?” Shelby suggested, her concerned gaze sweeping over Neve. “Bubbles or beer?”

  “Beer.”

  Shelby hurried off to get a round of drinks and a waiter came past with a platter of sliders. Neve grabbed the one with lobster, the light dusting of flour on top of the roll pluming up as she took a bite.

  “This is delicious.”

  “Yeah, Ronan and Heath have nailed the menu.”

  Ronan and Heath Flint were close friends of her brother and they ran the steakhouse and brewery after inheriting it from their father. They came from a long line of brewers, and had managed to turn the business into a tourist hot spot as well as maintaining their treasured local watering hole status.

  Nate kept his arm protectively around her shoulders. “I’ll bring you for dinner one night this week. They’ve got a new rub for the steaks and it’s out of this world.”

  “Sounds good,” she replied, though the words were muffled through another bite of the slider.

  Shelby returned with drinks and handed a beer each to Neve and Nate. The way her brother looked at his fiancée, as though she was the only woman in the world, was sweet but painful. She’d give anything to have Damian by her side so she could look at him that way.

  Excusing herself, she found a spot easily at the bar now that the crowd had thinned out. She toyed with a coaster, trying hard not to think about Damian as she seemed to do whenever she wasn’t actively engaging her brain in a distracting task.

  You have to trust him. He’ll hold up his end of the bargain. He will.

  It was great that people had made such an effort to include her—she was certainly grateful—but there was really only one person in the world she wanted to talk to right now.

  She brought the beer to her lips and tipped her head back.