Vetted Further

by K'Anne Meinel

  “I can see you aren’t happy,” she pointed out.

  “I just lost a baby. My hormones are all over the place. Of course, I’m unhappy. That was to be our first child.”

  “You want more?” She would have thought she was done with that nonsense. She didn’t know how those two had accomplished it. She didn’t know how lesbians became pregnant and she didn’t want to know.

  “Of course. Fiona and I want several children. This was just an unfortunate accident.” She gestured at her leg where the scar was so prominent beneath the nylons.

  “You should have worn slacks after all,” she conceded, “to hide that ugly scar.”

  Sighing, so her mother didn’t feel the full anger that was building, she took a couple breaths that calmed her. “I did try,” she said lightly, indicating the too short dress her sister had loaned her at her mother’s insistence.

  “Yes, you did,” her mother sighed loudly. “I don’t know why you have to…” she started again, trying to convince her not to return.

  “I have obligations. I want to go home to my wife,” she emphasized, seeing her mother flinch slightly. She knew this still bothered her.

  “This was your home first,” she gestured out of the house towards Denver. “You could have a nice young–”

  “Mother!” she stopped her, fully exasperated now. “I don’t live here anymore. My home is in Oregon with Fiona. I love my wife and that isn’t going to change. If you don’t want to accept that, that is your choice. I don’t want to hear about a nice young man from the country club ever again! Do you understand?”

  Hearing the finality and vehemence in her younger daughter’s voice, she realized she had to back off or she would lose her. She didn’t understand. She couldn’t. She was just too set in her country club ways.

  Changing the subject, Allyssa finished her packing and asked, “How are you doing, Mother? Are you done with your courses?”

  “Yes, I’ve been shadowing other agents and learning the ropes.”

  Her daughter looked at her incredulously. After all this time, Helen should have her own clients. She supposed it was harder for her as she hadn’t worked before. Still, she listened as her mother began to talk about the job. It sounded like a good fit. She would enjoy it if she allowed herself. Still, she worried more about affording the fees for the country club and making friends.

  “You have to think of that as an investment, Mother. Making those contacts at the country club will help your career,” Allyssa told her firmly.

  Helen looked startled. “I couldn’t work for my friends….”

  “Why not? They are all potential clients, and as their friend, you should want to help them. Take a smaller commission if that will make you feel better, but don’t let your friendship stand in the way of making a buck.”

  Surprised, Helen looked at Allyssa. It was one of the most adult conversations they had had. She had tried so hard for so long to convince her daughter to come home, and for what? That life was over. It was obvious the girl she had known, the one that conceded to all her wishes, was long gone. She was right. She needed to make money to survive. The settlement she had gotten from Bob wasn’t going to last forever.

  “And why are you still renting? Surely, you know of a house you could buy that would look good for entertaining potential clients?”

  “There was one that I considered,” she admitted. She looked very thoughtful as she finally left her daughter alone.

  Allyssa changed out of the ill-fitting dress and sighed with relief as she rolled off the nylons and removed the uncomfortable heels. She wasn’t that young woman anymore. She had enjoyed dressing up, but she wanted her own style. She thought of Fiona and how she’d love to dress up for her. Clean jeans and a clean shirt were it most of the time, but she knew she could do some things that were girly, would make her feel better, and maybe Fey would appreciate them.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to stay?” Carmen tried one more time as she gave her a ride to the airport.

  “Absolutely sure. I can’t wait to get back to the ranch and see Fey.”

  “What about your tests?”

  “Well, those first and then back to the ranch.”

  Carmen regretted they had been unable to convince her to stay. She had been ready to give her sister a spare room in her own home if she had decided to leave Oregon. It would have been nice to have a live-in babysitter, but she had met Fiona several times now and she was certain Allyssa wouldn’t give up on her wife. She saw and heard the way Allyssa talked about her love, and while she didn’t completely understand it, she was resigned. She was surprised when their mother had wished her well. She thought she would fight harder to keep Allyssa in Denver once she had her there.

  “Daddy seems happy,” Allyssa mentioned.

  “Yes, he is.”

  “You should include his girlfriend,” she admonished.

  “Well, she isn’t….”

  “She’s his choice,” Allyssa gently reminded her sister. “I don’t think Mother approved completely of Derek when you first brought him home.”

  “She didn’t?” Carmen was astonished. She thought her mother had loved him from the first.

  “No, I remember Daddy telling her to give the young man a chance. She saw that he was a lot like Daddy and he eventually grew on her. I don’t think she thought anyone would be good enough for you.”

  They laughed over those early days when Carmen had brought the young man home from college. He had an acceptable family. That was very important to Helen at that point.

  “I thought he was her ideal,” she mused, laughing more. She was happier these days. She had the perfect life with Derek and now Melody. She glanced in the mirror at the baby sleeping in the back seat.

  “She may have let you think that, but you can be sure she checked him out.”

  They continued chatting until Carmen dropped her off at the departure terminal. Allyssa swung the straps of her camera and laptop bags over her head and carried her smaller case as she waved to her sister. It was far too busy for her to get out and give her a proper hug, but she knew her sister was a little irked that their little plan hadn’t worked. If only Allyssa had been a little more cooperative and seen the benefits of moving back to Denver.

  Allyssa checked in, carrying her luggage through security. Having to take her camera and laptop out of their bags and place them and her shoes into the plastic tubs was annoying. She felt so exposed, like she was now a target of any would-be thieves. Waiting for her plane to take off, she thought about the weekend. It had gone by so quickly it hardly seemed worth the price of the ticket. Still, she was glad she had come, and she was glad it had been a brief visit. She knew if she had to listen to her sister or mother talk about the benefits of living in Denver much more, she would have blown up. They just didn’t get it. They didn’t understand the freedom and the love she had with Fiona. Well, they didn’t need to understand it, and they didn’t have to accept it. She was sorry for them that they couldn’t simply be happy for her.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Landing in Portland, she searched for and found her parked car. She was glad to see her bigger suitcase was undisturbed. She pulled out the directions Keith had emailed her for their house and carefully made her way across the large city. She was looking forward to seeing the children, feeling better about her relationship with them than she had with her own family. Just when she thought Carmen had understood, that they had a good connection, she had conspired with her mother to try and convince Allyssa to move back to their world. She saw it a lot clearer now as she thought over the happenings of her weekend. She realized more clearly what they had tried to pull. If they could have, she thought they would have denied her the trip to the airport. She would have simply called a cab or her father, but it would have severed any relationship she had with them, and they probably knew it.

  As she pulled in front of the typical four-square, four-room ‘pyramid’ with gable and wing style home, she
was pleasantly surprised at its appearance. It wasn’t what she had expected Rosemary to live in. She had heard them refer to it as a bungalow, but this was much bigger than a bungalow, and the porch that wrapped around the front was inviting and beautiful. It was obvious they were watching for her as Traci came running from the house. Since it was lightly raining, Allyssa quickly got out of the Jeep to get her things, so they didn’t end up wet. She knew it would anger Rosemary if they dripped on her floors. She was pleased to see Sean and Keith coming out to help her with her bags.

  “How was your trip?” her father-in-law greeted her happily.

  “Not too bad. The baby was cute,” she said, finally able to talk about the baby without wincing about her own situation. She was glad to be back in Oregon. It felt better, but she was looking forward to going home to the ranch. She’d called Fey on the cell but missed her several times, and she was longing to hear her sweet voice.

  Traci showed her to the guest room next to her own. They would be sharing a bathroom. It was kitty-corner from the master bedroom and across from Sean’s. Both the master bedroom and Sean’s room had bathrooms of their own.

  “I’m so glad you are here,” the exuberant nearly ten-year-old Traci told her, spontaneously giving her a hug. “I’m sorry you lost your baby,” she added quietly.

  “Me too,” Allyssa told her with a tremulous smile. It didn’t hurt as much, but she often wondered if the hurt would ever completely go away.

  Showing that her attention span was short, Traci immediately started asking about the horses, Rex, and other things on the ranch. She seemed excited about what the 4-H kids had done and asked a million questions.

  Allyssa was showing Keith, Sean, and Traci the pictures of the Christmas carolers when Rosemary came in. The warm living room with its rich wood paneling, nice furniture, and homey atmosphere went cold instantly.

  “Allyssa,” Rosemary nodded formally.

  “Hello, Rosemary,” she returned in a friendly tone. She knew Rosemary would prefer she address her as Mrs. Herriot but since she addressed Allyssa by her first name, she felt it was only fair to use hers.

  “What are you looking at?” she directed this at her children since Keith had fixed her with a warning look as soon as she entered the house.

  “Allyssa went Christmas caroling on horses,” Sean told her enthusiastically. His nearly twelve-year-old voice displayed the slightest hint of a crack as he spoke.

  “She drove the wagon,” Traci told her, her tone suggesting she was envious.

  “Why did you need a wagon if you were on horses?”

  “Well, I wasn’t up to riding yet,” Allyssa informed her, sensing her baby was a subject that was taboo with this woman and not really caring. Keith had given her a hug earlier that spoke volumes about the loss of his first grandchild.

  The distasteful subject was changed as Rosemary started dinner, having no interest in seeing the pictures and distracting her children by insisting they help her. She refused Allyssa’s offer to help and left Keith to entertain their guest.

  “Are you ready for your tests?” he asked, trying not to get angry over Rosemary’s abrupt behavior. He was used to it, but their guest was not.

  “I think so. I’ll be reading a little after dinner and before bed.”

  “Aw, I thought we could play a board game,” Traci said as she came through the dining room to set the table and overheard her.

  “Another night,” Allyssa promised since she was going to be there for a couple days.

  “Remember, she’s here to take her school tests, not play games with you,” Rosemary said sternly as she brought in a couple of dishes and banged them down for the young girl to set in their proper places on the table.

  Dinner was…tense. That was the only word Allyssa could find to describe the atmosphere that Rosemary instilled. Allyssa was sorry for that. When the woman wasn’t around, Keith was charming, and the children seemed to bloom. Allyssa had to wonder how the mere presence of the woman could instill such hostility and cause such a pall over everyone. She found herself feeling a bit depressed and was glad to escape to her room to study. Her first test was the following day, and she wanted to be prepared. She was confident. Fiona had helped her so much and it appeared she was a natural. She could hear Traci in the adjoining room preparing for the next day of school and then silence as the house quieted for the night. The shrill of the phone must have jarred several people.

  “Allyssa, phone,” Keith called through the door. Embarrassed at waking them, she rushed downstairs to take the phone.

  “Allyssa? Get there all right?” Fiona’s voice came through the line.

  “Yes. Didn’t you get my messages?” She’d called once from the airport in Denver, again when she found her car in Portland, and once more from the house. The cell phone was charging in her room now and she wondered that her wife hadn’t called that number.

  “No, I’m having the devil’s own time with my reception out here. I just wanted to check, and I figured I’d call my dad’s. Everything okay?”

  “It’s fine,” she lied, not willing to tell her about the hostile environment her father and siblings were living in.

  “Ready for your first round of tests?”

  “Yes, and I have you to thank for that.”

  “Pshaw, I just had a good helper.”

  She smiled, remembering the happy times helping her wife when she could. She liked that Fiona had taught her things. It gave them a closeness she couldn’t describe to others.

  “I’m not going to keep you. I know you are probably tired.”

  “Yes, I am,” Allyssa agreed. She looked up and saw legs on the stairs. She knew they were Rosemary’s and she was unashamedly listening in.

  “I’ll try to call you tomorrow. If I can’t reach you on the cell, I’ll call my dad’s again, okay?”

  “That’s fine,” she answered, ever aware that she was being monitored and angry for it. She wanted to tell Fiona not to call her dad’s number but couldn’t deny her.

  “I miss you,” she said softly, “and I love you.”

  “I miss you too,” she responded. “I can’t wait to come home later this week!”

  They hung up and Allyssa started up the stairs. Rosemary didn’t move. Her disapproving look didn’t alter as the younger woman walked towards her. She barely moved aside to let her pass.

  Allyssa thought about the older woman, wondering how she could be so bitter towards people. Fortunately, the younger children didn’t seem affected. She hoped that would continue but wondered at that. At some point, they would resent their mother’s nasty side. How could they avoid it? She briefly wondered about Rosemary’s two older sons and what they were like.

  * * * * *

  Allyssa made her way to the college. Checking in, she was relieved to see her name on the list. She had worried that something would go wrong and she’d be unable to take her test. She was also pleased to see she was one of the first to take her practical, hands-on exam. Doing it in front of a group of strangers wasn’t pleasant, but she remembered that Fiona had taken her with her a couple times and allowed her to assist on operations. She’d also done this in their own operating theaters. She was confident, well-trained, and had studied well. As she watched others take their exams after her, she saw several that would not be passing this aspect of the tests they had taken online. They simply didn’t have the experience or the confidence. A few of them even puked, not used to the blood and gore that accompanied such a test.

  “Whew, I’m glad that is over,” one girl said as they left the first of two exams.

  “That was pretty cool,” one of the guys stated, teasing her. She looked a little pale.

  “I wonder how difficult the next one will be?” another girl commented.

  “She’ll do well,” the guy said admiringly of Allyssa, who waited for them to move out of her way.

  “I will?” she asked, surprised.

  “Aren’t you Allyssa Herriot? Don’t you do
a blog out of Sweetwater?” he asked.

  Surprised, she nodded. “Yes, my wife and I have a ranch…the Falling Pines Ranch.”

  “Wasn’t that on the news last year? Something about a shooting with rustlers?” one of the girls asked, suddenly interested.

  “Yeah, that was her,” the guy stated, pointing at Allyssa. “You actually shot someone?”

  Embarrassed, she just shrugged. She tried to pass the little group, but they took their brief conversation as consent to walk with her to their next set of tests.

  “What was it like to actually shoot someone?”

  “A necessary evil,” she said shortly, recognizing misplaced admiration when she saw it. She didn’t want to discuss the fact that she had killed a man. The less details she shared about that, the better.

  Either sensing she had stepped over some imaginary line or finding some common sense, the girl finally dropped the conversation and they headed for the next exam. Still, from her seat, Allyssa saw the three of them discussing things. From their repeated looks her way, Allyssa surmised she was the topic of conversation. She concentrated on the written exam and later, her hands-on exam. This instructor was much different from the first. Allyssa had been warned that some were more the ‘show me’ type of teacher instead of the ‘let me show you’ type of teacher. It made the exam harder on some and easier on others. Allyssa had been prepared either way, and then, she worried when the tests seemed too easy. She was exhausted by the end of the day and grateful when she reached Fiona by phone on her way to her father’s house.

  “I think I passed both of today’s exams,” she told her when she answered.

  “That’s so great, baby,” she encouraged her.

  Allyssa was reminded how nice it was to have someone like Fiona in her life. It was wonderful to have someone who constantly encouraged her, let her do what she wanted, and supported whatever she did. Fiona never said she couldn’t do something. If she didn’t like it, she discussed it with her. After the weekend with her family, and now watching someone like Rosemary, she realized Fey was precious and couldn’t wait to get home to her. A few more tests and she could go.