Forever Falcon Ridge (The McLendon Family Saga Book 7)

by D. L. Roan

  When the wave of sadness abated, Dani sat up. Gabby reached over and snagged a box of tissues from the end table, pulling out a few for Dani before grabbing more for herself.

  “I’m sorry I ruined our movie night,” Dani whimpered, noticing the movie had long since played out without them.

  Gabby reached over and flicked off the television with the remote. “You didn’t ruin anything, honey. You obviously needed this.” They sat in silence for a while, except for the constant sniffles and occasional cough. “Can you talk to me about it?” Gabby cautiously asked, holding out the tissue box when more tears sprang to Dani’s eyes.

  Dani shook her head. “He’s not even talking to me anymore,” she said, despite her reluctance.

  “Did you have a fight?” Gabby pressed.

  Dani rolled her eyes. “You know what happened. I know Grey told you.”

  Gabby shook her head in denial. “Honey, if Grey knows what happened he hasn’t said a word to anyone. He’s been really worried about you, we all have, but we’re trying to respect your privacy.”

  Dani’s heart began to ache again and more tears flowed down her cheeks. “He hasn’t…” Her breath hitched. “Said anything?”

  Gabby grabbed her hand, her warm touch seeping into Dani’s bones. “I know it probably feels like no one can help you, honey, but let me try. Not as your mother, but as your friend.”

  Dani’s breath hitched in her chest, her shoulders shaking as she blew it out and drew in another, each one giving her a little more strength until she finally said the words, “I love him.”

  Gabby smiled, then reached up to tuck her hair behind her ears. “Anyone with eyes can see that.”

  Another sob threatened, but she swallowed it back and told her mom everything. How she’d made a total ass out of herself when she and Clay first met during calving season. How angry she’d been when he cancelled the drone project because his horse had died, crying when she told Gabby it was actually his mom’s horse. Then she told her about his mom and Virgil, and all of Clay’s brothers, and Sterling Eagle, and helping Clay with Mr. Gardner, and what happened afterward on top of the turbine.

  Gabby grinned from ear-to-ear, a tear slipping from the corner of her eye. “Oh, Dani! How romantic.”

  Dani furrowed her brows, not expecting such an excited reaction from her mom about losing her virginity.

  Sensing her confusion, Gabby chuckled. “Honey, my first time was loveless and mechanical, full of fear and the unknown. He was a friend, but it was nothing like I have with your fathers, which is what I’d hoped for you.”

  Dani scrunched up her nose.

  “I know.” Gabby rolled her eyes with a sniffle. “T.M.I., but I’m just happy your first time was so beautiful.”

  Dani pushed on, eager to get past the embarrassing subject. She told Gabby about Jaqueline and Shannon, and what happened at Nann’s saloon, and the call about Uncle Cade. Tears sprang to her eyes as she told her how her two worlds had collided when she got home, and how she began to realize that, even though she was in love with Clay, it could never work. And then she told her about their night in the barn and how it felt like goodbye.

  “Sorry,” Dani said, heat rushing to her own cheeks when she saw her mother blush. “T.M.I.,” she repeated with a watery chuckle.

  “Not at all.” Gabby grinned. “I was just remembering some of my own special moments in that hay loft,” she said, propping her elbow on the back of the sofa and resting her head against her fist, a whimsical look in her eyes. “I’m pretty sure you and Jonah were conceived up there.”

  Dani shielded her ears, and Gabby laughed, giving her knee a playful nudge. “We’re talking as friends, remember? I was once your age and in love. I still love three men.” Dani scrunched up her face and shook her head. Still too much information. Her mom sighed and gave her another nudge. “Go on, what happened after your dads flipped out.”

  Dani quickly sobered. She stared down at her fingers, tracing the place where his mother’s ring would have sat. Her eyes burned and she blinked against the prickly sting. “He asked me to marry him.” Unable to look at Gabby without crying again, she pinched back the tears and stared at her hands.

  “Oh my gosh,” Gabby said with a gasp.

  “But I couldn’t say yes, Mom.” Her voice wavered as her throat tightened with regret. “I wanted to, but I just couldn’t. I still can’t.”

  “That’s okay.” Gabby reached out and took her hand. “Honey, if you aren’t sure he’s the one you want to commit the rest of your life to, then you did the right thing.”

  Dani shook her head, her tears falling unchecked again. “I know he’s the one,” she choked out. Irritated at her whiney voice, she cleared her throat and swiped uselessly at her cheeks. “I don’t think I could ever love anyone more. He’s kind, smart, and he makes me laugh. He’s passionate about his family and their ranch. We have so much in common.” Gabby grabbed the box of tissues and held it out to her. She sighed as she pulled out another handful. “I hate all this crying. It’s all I’ve done since I got home.”

  Gabby shrugged. “Well, with this and Uncle Cade, and the thing with your dads, you’ve had a lot of emotional stress on your shoulders you’re not used to carrying. I’d be worried if you didn’t cry.” Dani didn’t respond as she dabbed her eyes and blew her nose. “But, honey, if you’re sure he’s the one, then why did you say no?”

  “That’s the thing,” Dani said in frustration. “I didn’t say no. I told him I needed time to think about it.”

  “That seems fair,” Gabby agreed.

  “I mean, I still have school, and I need to be here for Uncle Cade and my job. I can’t just abandon my responsibilities to Falcon Ridge.”

  “Did he ask you to?” Gabby asked. “Have you two talked about any of this?”

  Dani shook her head. “He can’t leave Texas. He said he’d consider moving here, but it’s not fair to ask him to do that. I’ve seen his family’s ranch, Mom. It’s huge, a legacy. He can’t walk away from that any more than I can walk away from my responsibilities here.”

  “Wow, that is a lot to consider,” Gabby said.

  Dani nodded. “It doesn’t matter anyway.” She shrugged. “He’s not even speaking to me anymore. He won’t return any of my calls or texts.”

  “Dani, you’ve broken his heart.” Gabby laid her arm along the back of the sofa and combed her fingers through Dani’s hair. “Give him time. Men’s hearts are fragile to rejection.”

  “But I didn’t reject him,” Dani insisted. “I love him, and he knows I do.”

  “I know,” Gabby rushed to reassure her, “but it most likely doesn’t feel that way to him right now. The hurt you’re feeling is probably ten times worse for him, if he’s the man you say he is. You’ve seen what that kind of pain can do to a man. Just look at the mess your dads have made of things lately.”

  Dani laughed through her sob. “How could something so amazing hurt so bad?”

  Gabby laughed. “Honey, just wait until you have children. You can’t possibly understand the irony of that question until you’ve given birth.”

  The tightness in Dani’s chest had eased considerably. She drew in her first deep breath in what felt like weeks, the rush of oxygen going straight to her head.

  “Can I ask you something?” Gabby gave her a sideways glance.

  Dani nodded with a shrug.

  Gabby folded her legs beneath her, then looked up at the ceiling, obviously considering her words. “It may sound weird, but hear me out,” she finally said. “If you took Uncle Cade and running the ranch out of the picture, and even school for argument’s sake, would you have said yes?”

  Dani narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?” Those were all real, undeniable issues.

  “Just answer the question. No school, Uncle Cade wasn’t sick, and you lived in the city with no family business to run.”

  “Well,” Dani considered her odd question. “I guess, if that alternate universe existed, th
en yeah. I’d have said yes. There’d be no reason not to.”

  “So, you’re sure he’s the one? And you’re ready for that kind of commitment?”

  Dani shrugged. “As ready as anyone who’s never been married before, I guess.”

  “Would you move to Texas, if you didn’t have Falcon Ridge?”

  Frustrated, Dani nodded. She’d live wherever, as long as Clay was with her. “But, Mom,” she crossed her arms over her chest, still confused as to where Gabby was going with this, “none of that’s real.”

  Gabby drew her shoulders up in a reluctant shrug and cocked her head to the side. “Dani, I get the feeling that, somehow, you’ve convinced yourself your dads are going to hand over Falcon Ridge to you the moment you graduate, and just…retire into the background.”

  “Not the second I graduate, no.” Dani argued. “I know they’ll want to know I can handle things, at least for the first few years.”

  Gabby shook her head with a chuckle. “Honey, your kids will be your age before your dads will be ready to give this place over to anyone. Falcon Ridge is their heritage as much as it is yours. They love ranching as much as you do and wouldn’t know what to do without it.”

  Dani cocked her head as her mom’s words swirled into a hazy, newfound revelation. Twenty-two years?

  “They want you to be a part of running the ranch, honey, and we’ve encouraged you because that’s what you’ve said you’ve always wanted, but it would be wrong of me not to point out that it’s okay to want something else. That you have another choice, especially if that choice is a different life with the man you love.”

  Dani stared at her mom, unbelieving, ecstatic, relieved, disappointed, let down, betrayed by her own expectations. Every emotion a person could have seemed to be fighting for space inside her head. She did believe her dads would be retiring after she graduated, in a sense, but she’d never once thought they wouldn’t want to.

  “You’ve heaped all this pressure onto yourself, thinking you had to take over the ranch now, but you have years to make this choice, Dani. Decades, even. Use that time to build your own life. No matter what you decide to do, you will always be a part of Falcon Ridge, just like it will forever be a part of you. If your life is here, and there’s nothing you’d rather do than work the ranch with your dads, I certainly understand that choice. But if you love Clay, and you want to marry him and try moving to Texas, then do it. Just don’t tell your dads I said that.”

  They both chuckled at the thought.

  “Have a long engagement if you want,” Gabby continued, “or elope to Vegas—no, wait, don’t you dare!” she hastily added with a stern glare. “Jonah robbed me of his wedding, and I’ll be damned if I don’t get to plan yours.”

  Dani rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help but laugh even harder. Her mom would never forgive Jonah for eloping at the courthouse. And she knew all about the scrapbooks of dresses and ideas her mom had squirreled away in her closet, just waiting for the day she got married.

  “But if Clay isn’t the one, honey, or you don’t know for sure, give it time. Just don’t doubt yourself. You’re smart and mature enough to know what’s right for you. The fact you didn’t say yes right away, and you listened to your heart, makes me so proud of you.”

  Her eyes started to burn again, dammit. “I don’t know what to think.” She shook her head. “I’ve only ever thought about the ranch. I never thought about falling in love, or getting married, or moving away,” she admitted as she dabbed at the corners of her eyes. “It feels strange. It all happened so fast.”

  “It’s not strange to me,” Gabby said. “I always knew when you fell in love, it would be quick.”

  “You did?”

  “Yes,” her mom said with a knowing grin that reminded her of Gran. “You’re so much like your Papa Daniel,” she said, laying her hand over Dani’s. “And Grey, and your Gran, and even me. You love with your whole heart, honey. I knew once you found that special, lucky someone, you’d be theirs the second you opened your beautifully fierce heart to them. I think it’s why you’ve guarded it so carefully until now, like an instinctual survival mechanism, waiting on the right man.”

  Dani stared at the wad of tissues in her hand. Her heart felt lighter, even if her thoughts were more jumbled than ever. Her head was muddled with new possibilities she’d never allowed herself to consider before. Her mom’s warm touch on her knee was the only thing keeping her from being swept away in a sea of confusion. “What am I supposed to do? And what about Uncle Cade?”

  Gabby’s mouth turned up into a sad smile, her throat constricting with her hard swallow. “As much as we want to believe otherwise,” she finally managed, “Uncle Cade’s time with us is very limited. You can’t plan something as big as the rest of your life around the few months, or maybe a year that we have left with him. He wouldn’t want you to.” She dabbed at her own eyes, then said with a chuckle, “I’m pretty sure he’d be mad at both of us if he knew you were even considering it.”

  He would be, Dani knew, but that didn’t make it any easier.

  “As far as Clay,” Gabby continued with a shrug, “I can’t tell you what to do. That’s something you’re going to have to figure out on your own, honey.”

  A couple of hours later, Dani lay in her bed, her room pitch dark but for the light of her phone as she stared at Clay’s picture. Her tears had slowed to an occasional trickle, but her pillowcase was damp from the few that still escaped. She traced her finger over Clay’s dimples, as had become her new habit, wishing she could feel the rake of his stubble, taste the passionate sweetness of his kiss, feel his fingers combing through her hair.

  “What should I do?” She rolled onto her back with a frustrated growl, staring up at the ceiling.

  It felt as though her whole world had exploded into a vast universe of impossible choices. Some that could hurt the ones she loved, others she knew would change her life forever, but came with an excitement that stirred in her gut and made her grin just thinking of them. And some choices she wasn’t sure were still hers to make.

  If Clay wasn’t answering her calls, how could she ever tell him? What if he’d already given up on her or never wanted to see her again? The thought crushed her. She rolled onto her side again and picked up her phone, another tear escaping onto her pillow. “Where are you?” She wondered if he was thinking of her. Goodnight, beautiful. She could still hear his grin in the memory of his voice and her lips pulled into a wavering smile.

  Her room was still dark when she next opened her eyes, unaware she’d fallen to sleep. A picture of Clay, fresh from her dreams, rushed to the forefront of her consciousness before she’d even surmised it was still the middle of the night.

  She shot up in the bed, grasping every detail of the dream she could remember. He’d been wearing a dark suit, with a black Stetson hat instead of his usual lighter one. His smile was so big it almost hurt to look at it as he kissed a hand that wore his mother’s ring. That was it. Nothing more followed. Nothing confirming it was her hand he’d been kissing.

  Her heart fluttered with a rush of panic-laced clarity. She wanted it to be her. Her mom had said not to doubt herself, to follow her heart, and everything inside her knew… It had to be her.

  She bolted from the bed and flipped on her light, stopping on the way to her closet to search for the phone number to the only person she knew in Texas who might be awake at one-thirty in the morning. When she found the listing, she dialed the number and continued to the closet, pulling her biggest suitcase from the top shelf.

  “Bulzeye Saloon,” Nann answered.

  “Nann, thank God!” Dani dropped the suitcase on the bed. “Can you pick me up at the airport in Midland?”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Clay gripped the thirty-pound wrench with both hands and pulled with everything he had, every muscle in his body straining to the point of ripping from his bones, until the lug finally broke free with a snap.

  “Fuck!” He stumbled backward
, his tether lines snapping taut, the safety hook pinging as it slid along the anchor railing on top of the turbine. Teetering on his toes, he was inches from falling off before he caught his balance and stepped back. His chest heaving, he peered back over the edge, remembering Dani and how scared she was of heights. He shook the thought from his head and went to work on the next lug holding the hatch ring together.

  He’d spent his first few days home locked up in the guesthouse, neck-deep in whiskey and wrapped in the sheets that still carried her scent. When the bottle ran dry, he’d sobered and showered, then headed out to Sterling City, working sunup to sundown on reroofing one of the equipment sheds.

  Normally, they’d have hired it out, but he’d needed the hot brutal work to sweat off the alcohol and wear him out enough to keep his dreams at bay at night. When the suppliers had gotten back to him with the info on the Gardner contract, he’d driven up to Pecos, but that only brought back more memories, more pain.

  He’d agreed to take this job to get away from those memories, and the hundreds of others that had nearly driven him insane his first week home. She was everywhere, in his bed, the shower, in his truck, at the Gardner ranch when he’d gone back to go over the initial installation schedule. Not to mention the phone calls and texts he still couldn’t bring himself to respond to.

  She’d called every day and night for a solid week-and-a-half. He just couldn’t talk to her. Not yet. He’d tried. He’d picked up the phone a hundred times to call her, but he’d already said everything he wanted to say. All he wanted to do was shout at the top of his lungs that he loved her, but screaming the words louder didn’t make them mean anything different. They didn’t change anything.

  He tried to remind himself she hadn’t said no, but he knew it was only a matter of time before she came to the same conclusion. He’d never be enough, and he understood why. Hell, he’d have been better off if Grey had beat the shit out of him, instead of filling his head with ideas that, in the end, didn’t matter. Nothing had changed. Stringing out their goodbye over weeks or months would just hurt them both more.