ROMANCE: YOUNG ADULT ROMANCE: WESTERN ROMANCE: The Smoking Cowboy (SPECIAL FREE BOOK INCLUDED PLUS FREE GIFT) (CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE)

by Debbie Gordon

  “No.” I said, as I answered the question, which wasn’t being asked.

  “Oh hon, it wasn’t a request.” My mom said because she knew that I had already figured it out.

  “You’re sending me to Texas?” I said, as I stood up. The chair pushed back with my legs and scrapped against the floor, as my heart started to race. “You can’t do that. You can’t force me to move states.” I said, as I tried to reason with her in vein.

  “It’s too late sweetie, it’s all arranged and you go tomorrow.” My mom said, as I turned around and walked out of the room.

  Chapter 4

  The only thing I saw for hours was dust. That’s what Texas is made of apparently; large stretches of dust that are only broken by small towns with nothing bigger than a three story. At least, that’s all I saw on the way to the ranch. The air tasted funny too. It was as though the sand and the heat had fused together and created this gritty texture, which you felt with every breath that you took.

  When we finally pulled up at the ranch, all I could think about was how far away I was from home. I wasn’t bothered about my mom’s house, but the city, the city is where I liked to be. You could do anything in the city. If it was 3am and you were hunger then you could get a burger, but out here, you’d probably have to kill the cow first.

  I walked up the porch steps without looking around. I had seen the place before, even if it had been years ago. The ranch itself had been updated though since I had last been to stay. Liam was the head of a wealthy tech firm in the city and he had spared no expense when it came to his home. Although the outside of the ranch looked rustic, the inside was modern, clean and white. It had crisp edges and fancy artwork, which seemed abstract, but pretty cool.

  I looked around the place after Liam had told me to make myself at home. I already knew the basic layout from the times when I had been before, but I discovered a whole new addition to the building at the back, where a home cinema and gym had been installed. The place seemed to have everything you could ever need, but the location still overshadowed all of its qualities.

  When I’d dumped my bags in my room, which was on the third floor and had the best view of the willow, I headed back downstairs to see what there was to do. I’d already packed my stash, which I had carried in my carry on, so that I wouldn’t get caught with it, but I didn’t want to get caught on my first day of being there, so instead, I went and looked for Liam’s son.

  As I walked around the grounds I tried not to think about how long I was there for. My mom had told me that I couldn’t come back until it was time to apply for new colleges and that meant I had just short of a year to kill, before I could get my life back again. I wasn’t even sure whether I would be able to get any more weed, whilst I was in Texas, it didn’t seem like the kind of place where you could just ask somebody on the street.

  “Hey.” I heard a sooth voice say from behind me.

  I jumped, as the voice interrupted the silence, which I had become accustom to on my walk. I looked around to find the person, who the voice belonged to and they settled on James, who was smiling at me. I tried to smile back, but my face was too busy taking in his. He’d got hot since the last time I saw him. He wasn’t some nerdy little kid any more, he was toned and tanned and tall. His cheeks were defined, his smiled perfect and his nose just a little crooked.

  “Hey.” I said, as I pushed the words out of my mouth. “I’m Sophie.” I said, as though his dad hadn’t told him to expect me.

  “Yeah I know.” He said, as he nodded. “I remember you from when you were little.” He said, as his eyes roamed up and down my body. “You sure have, grown up, haven’t you beautiful?” He said, as he flashed his smile at me again and forced my cheeks to blush.

  I looked down at the ground for a moment, as I tried to recapture control over my brain and functions. “You haven’t done too badly yourself.” I said finally, as I looked up and held his gaze. I could feel something shooting between us, as we stood out in the open space of the ranch. It was like electricity was jumping from his body to mine. I could feel the sparks, as they landed on my skin and fizzled into my body. I wanted to step closer to him, to shorten the journey for the sparks, so that I could feel them burn hotter on my skin, but that would have made me look like a weirdo and I wasn’t about to do that.

  Chapter 5

  “So why did your mom send you here?” James asked, as the waitress came over and dropped off our plates.

  I looked at the double burger with bacon sat in front of me, as I thought about what to tell James. I’d been at the ranch for two months now and we’d been on several dates. I hadn’t heard from John since I’d been kicked out of college, which might have stung had it not have been for James who was slowly becoming my oasis in the desert.

  I wanted to tell him the truth, something, which I hadn’t told anybody. I wanted to tell him the full story and about how I’d taken the blame, but something held me back. The last thing John had ever asked me to do was keep his name out of it and even though we’d clearly broken up, I couldn’t break the promise, which I had made.

  “I got caught growing weed on campus property.” I said, as I shrugged. “It’s not like it’s a big deal or anything. They kicked me out, but I get to reapply next year.” I finished, as I picked up my burger and took a decent size bite out of it.

  “Did you smoke weed?” James asked, as he watched me eat.

  I nodded, but I didn’t reply.

  “Do you still do it?” James asked with no change to his tone. I realized he had been talking like that since I’d told him about the weed and it struck me, as odd.

  “Not really.” I said, as I lied. I could feel an instant rush of guilt over the lie, which I had just told, but as soon, as I had said it, it was too late for me to take it back.

  “You know you don’t need drugs right? You’re smart, funny and beautiful, all you need is you.” James said, as he smiled at me from across the table. I smiled back, but it wasn’t a real one.

  Inside I could feel a twang of sadness, because James could clearly see somebody that I couldn’t. It wasn’t that I didn’t think I could live without drugs; it was just that, they made things better. They made the mundane a little less relentless in the never-ending cycle of my life. They made it, so everything was just a little easier to cope with.

  “I know that.” I said, as James waited for a reply.

  He nodded, as though he had done a good job and then started to eat his burger. We sat in silence until our plates were clear, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, at least not for James it seemed. I however wrestled with my thoughts, as guilt and shame washed over me about the lie that I had told.

  The car ride home was filled with small talk and nothing heavy came up. I let my brain relax a little, as I realized that nothing had really changed. When we got back to the ranch, James walked me up to my room and kissed me softly on the cheek.

  After I had closed my door, I walked over to the mirror, which hung from the large dark wood wardrobes. I looked at the reflection, which is shone back at me. My hair was windswept, but it had held in the bun that I had put it in. I watched, as my arms reached back and pulled the pins out, which freed my hair and it fell down my back like a waterfall of brown curls.

  Some of my makeup had faded, but my dark skin still looked alive and refreshed. The black circles, which had been a constant for years had started to fade, since I’d been getting unbroken sleep at the ranch. At first sleep had been hard to come by, as the silence had been overwhelming, but it had quickly become something, which let me sleep for hours.

  I pulled off the dark green dress, which clung to my hips. It was one of my favourite dresses and although it had been a little over the top for the place we had just eaten at, I couldn’t resist wearing it out because it was a dress that deserved to be worn.

  Once I was underdressed and I’d run a comb through my hair, I climbed into bed. I could hear nothing but the soft back drop of crickets, as I closed my eyes and t
ried to fall asleep, but it wasn’t happening. Instead, every time I closed my eyes I found myself sitting across from James, as the question hung in the air; do you still smoke weed? I should have told the truth, I thought to myself over and over, just in case the first time hadn’t been clear enough.

  When I finally fell asleep, my dreams were filled with dashing images of my life at college. It was, as though my brain was trying to tell me something, but I just couldn’t figure out what it was, all I knew was that everything was grey and colourless. I don’t know how long I stayed asleep for, but when I woke up, I felt, as though I hadn’t slept at all.

  As I sat up in my bed, I questioned whether I had been asleep or whether my dreams had just been my imagination running into overtime, either way, my head hurt and all I could think about was getting another few hours. I pulled my aching body out of bed and looked out of the window. The sun was just rising and that meant I had a few hours before anybody else would be up. I knelt down and pulled out my carry all bag from under the bed. It didn’t take me long to find what I was looking for.

  Chapter 6

  Nine months had passed since I had moved to the ranch and I only had a week left, before I was due to set off for college. James hadn’t spoken to me about what would happen once I had gone, even though we had talked extensively about my course and the possibilities it offered.

  It was like there was an elephant in the room, but we were both too afraid to point it out. I’d been hoping that he would want to continue our relationship, because that was what it had become. He was, in every sense, perfection and he was mine, I’d have happily skipped out on college and stayed in Texas if that had have been a choice.

  James had asked me to dinner on the night before I was due to leave though. He’d told me about it a while ago. It seemed like something he had put a lot of thought into and although the elephant was still there, I couldn’t help, but get excited for the night. I still had a few days before that though and although I was excited, I didn’t want to waste any of the time I had left with James, before I had to leave living in the future.

  In what seemed like a blink of an eye the week passed and I found myself waking up to my last full day on the ranch. The sun was rising high into the sky, as I opened my eyes hazily and looked towards the window. The sky was a soft blue, which gave no indication to the storm, which was just beyond the horizon, at least that was for me.

  When I pulled myself out of bed, I could hear the main house phone ringing, but I didn’t think anything of it, as I pulled on some clothes and walked down the stairs for breakfast. I had heard James getting up just before me and I was anxious to spend, as much of the day with him, as possible.

  When I made it down the stairs, I headed straight for the kitchen, where I could already smell eggs and bacon cooking from. As I walked in I scanned the room and found James sitting at the breakfast bar. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, but instead of putting his hands on mine, his body tensed up and I pulled back in confusion.

  “Is everything alright?” I asked, as I sat down next to him and looked at his face. He looked, as though he was deep in thought, but whatever those thoughts were, they were troubling him. I could see the impending storm clouds rolling in his eyes, as I tried to work out what could possibly have gotten him that worked up.

  “Everything’s fine.” James said shortly and without looking at.

  I nodded, but I didn’t say anything. I could still smell the food cooking and I turned around to see whether the chef had finished anything yet. “I’ll be right back.” I said, as I eyed up the plate of sausages, which were just waiting to be eaten.

  “Whatever.” James said, as he stood up and walked out of the room.

  I watched him in confusion, as he left. I couldn’t work out what his problem was. I felt, as though he was mad at me, but I didn’t know what I’d done wrong. I tried to scan my brain for things that I might have done. I tried to work out what had changed since the night before and that morning, but nothing stuck out. I couldn’t put my finger on anything, which might have made him treat me like this.

  I sat and ate in silence, as my brain ran through an array of sad thoughts. It was my last day at the ranch. I would be leaving the next day and I would be starting a new college. I would be leaving behind the one person who had put me first and made me happy. That same one person seemed pissed at me and I didn’t even know why. Somehow the bright and sunny morning, which I had woken up to, was starting to feel more and more like the grey dreams I had, so long ago.

  When I’d finished eating I went straight up to James’ room and knocked on his door. It didn’t take him long to answer and he stepped to the side, so that I could come in. I tried to meet his eyes with my own, but he avoided them, as I sat down on his bed.

  “What’s going on?” I asked, as I saw no other way than to be direct about the issue.

  “What do you mean?” James asked, as he deflected my question.

  “You seem pissed at me? Have I done something?” I asked, as I watched him.

  He flinched, as I asked whether it was something I did, but he still didn’t look at me. “It isn’t you.” He said, but there was something in his voice, which told me he was lying. “I just think that we need to break up, before you leave. I mean you know long distances don’t work.” He finished.

  I let the seconds slip by, as I tried to process what he was saying. He’d made no indication about this last night or for the last week. In fact, he’d never implied that this would happen in the whole nine months that we had spent together. Had it always meant nothing?

  “Don’t I mean anything to you?” I asked, as I tried to push back the hurt tears, which were filling my eyes and jumbling my vision.

  “No.” James whispered, as he stared at the floor.

  “Why are you lying? Why are you saying that?” I asked, as I tried to hide the pain in my voice, but my whole world was starting to shatter around me. I had wanted to stay with him. I would have given up college to be with him and he wasn’t even willing to try long distance?

  “I’m not lying. Look Sophie, I think you should leave.” He said, as he walked towards his door and opened it.

  I looked at him and then the door. I let my head run through that cycle, as my brain tried to figure out what the joke was, but it couldn’t find the punch line anywhere. I tried to catch James’ eyes, as I finally stood up and walked out of his room, but he held his firmly to the ground and, as soon, as I had walked out of the door, he closed it with hesitating.

  Chapter 7

  The meal I had been looking forward to never happened. Instead, I sat up the whole night, whilst I waited for sleep to arrive, but that never happened either. I could feel the seconds dragging passed, as though they had turned into hours. I hadn’t seen James for the entire day. I don’t know if he stayed in his room or whether he’d slipped out, but he’d stayed out of my way.

  My brain was still trying to understand what happened. I couldn’t figure out what had changed, but I knew that something had. I knew that something had made James decide to end things and it wasn’t long distance. I kept rerunning the words he had used through in my head, I could hear them being said, as though he was right next to me. I could hear the lies behind them. I knew that it was something I’d done and I just wished he ‘d told me the truth, so that I could have, at least, tried to make it better.

  When the sun finally appeared on the skyline, I got up and packed my bags. Liam wasn’t driving me back to the airport, I was getting a cab and I didn’t see any point in waiting around to say goodbye. It wasn’t like James wanted to talk to me anyway.

  It didn’t take me long to get all of my stuff together and when I’d pulled it all down the stairs, I picked up the phone and called for the cab. I could hear movement upstairs when I was getting the last bag from the porch and I walked quickly to the cab, so that I’d be gone by the time they made it downstairs.

  When I’d sat in the back of th
e cab, I told the driver that I was going to the airport and sat back, as the car pulled away from the ranch, where I had spent the last nine months of my life. I watched the building getting smaller in the mirror, as the wheels put distance between it and me. I could feel a dull aching in my chest, as I realized that I might never see James again.

  I’d realized, as soon, as he’d told me that it was over, that I’d been in love with him. I’d never told him that. It was something, which I wasn’t even sure about until it was too late, but I was deeply in love with him, in a way that I had never experienced before and every mile that was being put between us, felt like a knife being stuck into my back.

  I closed my eyes, as the sand spread out around me. There was nothing now until the airport and I let myself drift off, as the car bumping around lulled me to an uneasy sleep. When I eventually woke up, I could hear the cab driver calling out numbers to me and I pushed my eyes open quickly, as I realized we had pulled to a stop.

  We were at the airport and he was waiting to be paid. I pushed my hand into my pocket and pulled out some notes, which I sorted and gave to him. My plane wasn’t due for hours yet, but it was better being at the airport than at a house where I wasn’t wanted. I got a trolley for my luggage and packed it all onto it.

  When I walked into the airport I was surprised to see that it wasn’t busy. I managed to get checked in quickly and I went to find a café where I could get some breakfast. I could tell that the day was going to be long and it hadn’t even really started yet. I blinked my eyes, as they fought back the tired feeling, which was weighing them down.

  As I sat waiting to set off I tried to think about where I was going, rather than where I was leaving. When my mom had sent me to Texas she had meant it, as a punishment, but the nine months I’d spent there had been some of the best of my life. I wasn’t sure they were worth it though. Every beat, which my heart gave, made my chest ache and I wondered whether my mom would be happy knowing that my heart was broken due to her punishment. I wondered whether she would consider that justice for my crimes.