Priceless Marriage

by Bonnie Gardner

  Ruby felt Sam’s hands on her waist and then he began to skim them up her side just as he used to do when things were happier, when their marriage was…what? Real? In the old days he would have ended this sensory exploration with a kiss at the curve of her neck, and Ruby almost leaned in to receive it.

  “Lunch ready?” Nick asked, interrupting the moment.

  They sprang apart guiltily, though what they had to be guilty for, Ruby didn’t know. Technically, she and Sam were still married.

  “That lemonade will sure hit the spot today,” Nick said as he took a seat at the table.

  “Yeah,” Sam agreed. “I wouldn’t have expected things to get so hot when it’s been so cold the last few days.” Something told Ruby that he wasn’t talking about the weather.

  “It’s always like that this time of year,” Ruby said, as if she hadn’t understood Sam’s insinuation. Why couldn’t they just speak about what really mattered instead of making stupid chitchat about the weather?

  She knew why. What had to be said between her and Sam was best done without a third party listening. She loved Nick, but he was proving to be something of a fifth wheel here. She and Sam really needed some time alone in neutral territory. Although she just wasn’t sure she would be able to handle it. Ruby drew a deep breath, picked up the pitcher of freshly made lemonade and carried it to the table. “Anybody thirsty?” she asked brightly.

  Two dark heads nodded, and Ruby passed the pitcher to Sam, who seemed to make certain their hands touched. As the familiar heat sizzled through her, Ruby let go. No, she couldn’t trust herself to be alone with Sam. Not until she was sure he was here to stay.

  And how the heck she was going to be able to do that when she couldn’t be in the same room with him without thinking about hot summer nights and rumpled sheets, she didn’t know.

  AFTER SUPPER THAT NIGHT, Sam pushed back his chair and sighed with satisfaction. Again he’d put in a long day of work on Ruby’s farm, and again Nick wouldn’t give him the pleasure of a moment alone with his wife. Sam was beginning to sense that Ruby might actually be sharing those same sentiments. It wasn’t the entire campaign, but any little victory won, even one as seemingly insignificant as this one, was one step closer to winning the war. “Dinner was great, as usual, Ruby,” he said as he clambered to his feet.

  There didn’t seem to be any dessert forthcoming, so he might as well get along. And when would Ruby have had time to make dessert, anyway? It still surprised him that she was able to manage what meals she did. She put in almost as much time and hard work out there as he and Nick.

  Sam figured he was ready to initiate part two of the plan. It was the absence-makes-the-heart-grow-fonder play. From the dinner conversation, he could tell that Ruby and Nick were expecting him to be here tomorrow, even though it would be Sunday.

  He would not be here.

  Sam was still waiting for the perfect opening to drop his little bombshell, but if it didn’t present itself soon, he’d just go ahead and drop it anyway.

  The old black wall phone behind Ruby rang, and she jerked, clearly startled. Then she reached back to answer it. “It’s for you, Nick,” she said after a moment.

  “I’ll take it in the office,” he said. He strode away toward the interior of the house.

  Sam pushed back an irritating twinge of jealousy. He hadn’t even known there was an office in the house. What was Nick doing in the nether reaches of Ruby’s house, when he, Sam, had not been beyond the kitchen or the living room?

  But at least it gave him a brief moment alone with his wife.

  Ruby, listening with her hand over the mouthpiece, got out of her chair to hang up, leaving them both standing with nothing to say and nowhere to go. She turned to Sam, wiped her hands on the front of her faded jeans and presented him with a hopeful smile. “Will I see you first thing in the morning, then?”

  Sam couldn’t help smiling inwardly. Now was the perfect moment to play hard-to-get as part of his plan. “Nope,” he said firmly. “I have other plans.”

  He hoped his announcement might make her jealous, but if she asked what his plans were he would tell her.

  Her eyes widened in surprise, if only briefly, and then she seemed to compose herself. “Will I see you on Monday, then?” Did Ruby sound disappointed? Sam wondered.

  He thought so. And he decided to let her off the hook. “I’m paid up at Gwen’s through tonight. Tomorrow I’ll move into the apartment above the Mercantile,” he said simply. “I’ll need the time to move my belongings in and get organized.”

  “Oh, I see.” Ruby hooked her fingers in her belt loops as if she were trying to look casual. She seemed relieved, if Sam was any judge—and he’d had so much practice he could read his wife like a book. “There isn’t much in the way of dishes and cookware, but there’s a bed and chairs to sit on. If you need anything else, ask me. After all, half of this is really yours.” She jerked her head in the direction of the interior of the house.

  “I don’t need much,” Sam said. “Just a place to sleep and hang my hat. I’m sure I’ll be fine.” He stepped into the mudroom, took his cap off the hook and jammed it on his head. “See ya,” he said. Then he left her standing alone in the kitchen.

  Sam sensed that he had really gotten to Ruby. For what it was worth, his wife had seemed disappointed that he wouldn’t be at the farm tomorrow, and that pleased him no end.

  Of course, that left her there alone with Nick. But Sam had to grudgingly admit Nick seemed like a decent enough fellow. Though it had bothered the hell out of him to see them so close together today at lunch.

  RUBY WAS UP TO HER ELBOWS in dishwater and halfway through the dinner dishes when Nick finally returned to the kitchen.

  “That was Bailey Hardesty, the loan officer at the bank,” Nick said, taking up a towel and starting to dry. “I’ve got to be in Rapid City for a meeting on Monday morning.” He let out a frustrated sigh. “Looks like I’ve still got some details to hash out with the bank.”

  “Oh,” Ruby said sympathetically. “I thought you’d finished with all that.”

  “Me, too,” Nick said, shrugging. “Shouldn’t be gone more than a day. Two at most.”

  Ruby handed him a plate. “And be sure to check on my new kitchen appliances while you’re there. I can’t wait to have a real dishwasher and a garbage disposal again.”

  Nick laughed as he dried. “As far as I can tell, all this old stuff works just fine. And you’ve been putting your scraps in the heap for compost.”

  Swatting him with a wet, rubber-gloved hand, Ruby scowled. “I miss having a microwave oven and a frost-free freezer. This stuff might do the job, but the other stuff will save me time and energy. I might actually have time to sit down and read a book after supper one of these days.” She looked around the kitchen with its old appliances. “This might have been modern thirty years ago, but it’s pretty clunky now.”

  Nick leaned back against the worn counter. “With any luck, I’ll be able to pick the stuff up while I’m there, and we can have your modern kitchen installed in a couple of weeks.”

  “From your lips to God’s ears,” Ruby said. She blew a wisp of hair out of her face and pulled off her rubber gloves. “You know what? I’m giving myself tomorrow off. You’ve got to go to Rapid City, and Sam’s moving into the apartment. I’ll just have a lazy day, too. I’ll go to church, maybe even catch a show at Pop’s Theater. I haven’t been there since he got the new projector and movie screen.”

  “You’ve hardly been anywhere since you moved out here. I’m surprised I got you to go to Pine Run the other day,” Nick said. “Just because you’re going to have to come to a decision about Sam and your marriage doesn’t mean you have to hide out here like a hermit.”

  “I haven’t been hiding like a hermit. I’ve been busy,” Ruby said, suddenly realizing that though she hadn’t intended to, she had been rather antisocial recently. “And we’ve gotten quite a lot accomplished, don’t you think?” she added, trying to justify h
er secluded life.

  “You still need to have a social life. You have friends in town. Go see them.” Nick opened a cabinet and placed the small stack of plates on the shelf.

  “I will if you take the SUV,” Ruby suggested as she rinsed out the sink and turned off the water. “If the appliances are ready, you can rent a trailer and bring them back with you. Besides, I worry about you in that old truck.”

  “You know I’ve been driving that truck since I was a teenager,” Nick said. “I wouldn’t know what to do without Old Betsy.”

  “Well, put her in a museum, and you can visit her from time to time,” Ruby said. “And take the SUV. That way I won’t worry about you breaking down out in the middle of nowhere.”

  “I can take care of myself,” Nick said, handing her the towel.

  “Humor me, Nick. I’m a woman. I worry. I think it’s part of the job description.” Ruby swatted him with the towel. “Now, go get yourself ready for your trip to South Dakota.”

  “Yes, Mother,” Nick said, snagging the keys to the SUV off the hook on the wall as he passed. Then he slipped out into the night.

  Now that she thought about it, Ruby realized she was actually looking forward to her day in town. She knew that her friends had been worried about her, especially since she hadn’t exactly acted happy after her sudden windfall. But they didn’t know the entire story about Sam.

  Only Honor knew that.

  And Nick.

  Of course, she figured by now the people of Jester had done all sorts of speculating about what was going on. Especially since Sam had shown up and had been camping out at Gwen Tanner’s. Maybe it was time to shake things up.

  Maybe it was time to hash things out with Sam.

  Ruby sighed. All she knew was that she couldn’t keep on, the way things were now. She was married, but she wasn’t.

  She should be happy, but she wasn’t.

  She loved Sam.

  But she needed to be sure she could trust his word.

  She wanted to have a happily-ever-after. But the way things stood between her and Sam right now, she wasn’t sure they could.

  Chapter Six

  Sam stood at the bottom of the outside stairway that led to the apartment over the Mercantile, a place he and Ruby had shared whenever he’d been able to get home on leave. He didn’t know why he was procrastinating. It wasn’t as if he’d never been there. The thing was, he realized, he’d never been there without Ruby.

  Sure, he’d been alone in the apartment from time to time, but only because Ruby was downstairs or had gone out to the grocery or to visit friends. This time it was different. Ruby wouldn’t be there, not because she’d be back in a little while, but because she no longer lived there. Her home was somewhere else.

  Somehow, Sam found this harder to do than checking into the boardinghouse had been. He didn’t like the idea of facing this place that held so many happy memories. He and Ruby had loved and laughed and planned in this humble apartment—and then everything had gone haywire.

  It had all been his doing. Not Ruby’s. He’d been the one to break a promise. He might have had the right reason for going out on that mission that night. After all, a combat controller never leaves a fallen teammate behind, and there had been no other man available to go on that rescue operation. Even if he hadn’t been ordered to go, he would have volunteered. It had been the right thing to do.

  He’d had to take that mission, but in doing it he’d screwed up big time.

  Sam sucked in a deep breath and mounted the stairs. Might as well get this over with, he thought as he reached the door at the top of the stairs. He fished around in his pocket for the key and let himself in.

  It was worse than he’d thought.

  The living room was empty save for one lone chair—the shabby old recliner that he’d brought into the marriage. The floor had obviously been swept clean when Ruby moved out, but dust had settled in a light coating on the floor, and when he closed the door, the slight breeze caused dust motes to drift lazily into the air.

  The place smelled musty and closed up, and even with the bright sun streaming in through the bare windows, the room looked barren, depressed. And that was only the living room.

  Sam passed through to the bedrooms. The smaller one, the one Ruby had always hoped would house a child—their child—was as empty and barren as the living room. The floor had been swept, but here, too, a fine layer of dust coated the hardwood. There was nothing there except the broken promise of what might have been.

  The other bedroom surprised him. It was if nothing had been touched. The bed was there, stripped of its covering, the queen-size mattress bare. But apparently the bedding had been washed, for it lay folded neatly at the foot of the bed. The same light coating of dust marred the surfaces of the mirrored dresser, the high chest of drawers and the night tables, but the room looked as if nothing had been disturbed.

  Sam stood in the doorway wondering why Ruby had taken everything but this. Were memories of the way they had made love in this room, in that bed, too painful to remember, or too hard to forget? He hoped it was the latter. After all, they’d put that bed to good use, and he couldn’t imagine anyone else sharing it, his bed, with his wife.

  Pulling in a deep breath of musty air, Sam crossed to his chest of drawers and pulled one open. The civilian clothes he’d left were still there, washed and folded as if just waiting to be worn again.

  He reached for the top drawer of Ruby’s dresser, the one where she’d kept the lacy and delicate scraps of fabric she’d called underwear. They were empty. He yanked the rest of the drawers open. Empty as well.

  Ruby had taken all of her own things, but nothing of his. It was a crystal clear commentary on how she had felt when she’d left this place to move out to the farm.

  Did she still feel that way?

  Ruby was his wife. And until the divorce papers were signed, sealed and delivered, he was her husband. He slammed his fist against the top of the empty dresser, disturbing the dust in the stagnant air. No. He would fight like he’d never fought before to make Ruby his again.

  Other men might have given up after seeing this, but Sam was not some other man. He’d use this place to camp out in, but it would not be home. Home was where his heart was, and it wasn’t here.

  His heart was with Ruby.

  RUBY OPENED HER EYES slowly to the bright sunlight of morning. She yawned and stretched languidly, feeling like a contented cat in front of a fire.

  She didn’t know how long it had been since she’d slept in past dawn. She didn’t know how long it had been since she’d felt really rested.

  Not since that night when—

  No, she was not going to think about that now. She had the day to herself. There was nothing pressing for her to do. No chores that couldn’t wait until the next morning. Petunia and the late, great Roscoe had been foraging for themselves since long before she’d taken over the farm. Petunia wouldn’t notice if her morning bucket of chow came a little late. And the piglets would nuzzle up to the milk bar whether Ruby got up to feed Petunia or not.

  She glanced at the clock. It was a little after eight. She could take a long, soaking bath, dress and still make it to church in plenty of time. She threw the covers aside and slid from the bed. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d done more than take a quick shower, which she usually did at night, before falling into an exhausted sleep.

  She glanced back at the bed, one of the few new items she’d bought when she moved to the farm. She hadn’t been able to make herself bring the bed she and Sam had shared. Hadn’t been able to face the thought of sleeping in it alone and knowing that Sam would never sleep with her again.

  She’d deliberately chosen a different, more feminine style of furniture for this room, so there wouldn’t be even a hint of Sam in it. The wood was a warm maple, and the coverings and curtains a sunny yellow. She was comfortable in this bedroom. It was hers. No man had seen the inside of it since the new bedroom suite had been deli
vered. Why, then, did Sam’s presence seem to haunt it?

  The right side of the bed, Sam’s side, was smooth and flat, the quilt barely mussed. Ruby shook her head. She still slept as if any moment she expected her husband to join her there and draw her close. She still slept as if she weren’t used to sleeping alone.

  And she wasn’t.

  Ruby knew that she’d been meant to be married. She’d been made to have children, yet no child slept under her roof. Sam had always said she could have a child anytime she wanted, but she’d put it off. She didn’t want a child to grow up without a father around full-time. And Sam’s job had kept him away from home far too much. She sighed and blinked back the tears that always threatened when she thought about her empty bed and her empty arms.

  Now she faced growing old without Sam. And without the children she’d wanted so much.

  Suddenly, her day alone, so eagerly anticipated only a few moments before, seemed like just another of a long line of lonely days to Ruby. She turned away from her startlingly empty bedroom and padded down the hall to run water in the tub.

  If only filling her empty life could be as simple.

  SAM MOVED his few belongings into the apartment, swept it out and had the rest of the day to kill. The hardest thing to do had been making the bed—not the physical task, but thinking about the reason Ruby must have had for stripping it bare. Had she been so angry with him that she couldn’t bear for anything that had once touched his body to touch her again?

  He threw open the windows to let the balmy spring air into the apartment. As it swirled through, clearing the musty, dank odor away, it did nothing to expunge the regrets and memories from Sam’s heart. He wandered from room to room, aimless and lost, wondering what he could do to make this place seem more like a home. Nothing came to mind.

  There was only one thing, one person who could make this place a home. Ruby.