The French Don't Diet Plan

by Dr. William Clower

  Take your reading every day for the first week.

  Then compare all later readings with that weekly average.

  Determine what your own physiology needs in order to lower portions at the plate, and increase the time between meals before you get hungry.

  PART THREE

  Living a Life You Love

  Imagine a life of enjoyment, where you’re not owned by your job, run by your schedule, or whipped into constant motion by the hamster wheel of overachievement. This, of course, is a description of the entire French approach to life, with long lunches of delicious foods and much longer summer vacations. Great for them, you say, but we live on a different cultural planet. Can you even conceive of the U.S. government mandating a minimum of five weeks of vacation for everyone—to hang out with your family, go somewhere together, and enjoy the summer?

  When I first learned about this French tradition, I couldn’t believe it. What do you mean they all go on vacation for more than a month? Two hours for lunch—what can you do sitting around for that long? What about getting work done? What about going to your job? But the French believe that living is the point of life and working is just a means to that end. Our American work ethic seems to dictate the opposite: The point of living is to work at your job, and life is just a vehicle for it.

  There’s more to the French lifestyle than baguettes, Brie, and Bordeaux. If you really want to get the French Don’t Diet results, it’s important to commit to living a more relaxed lifestyle. More and more evidence shows that stress is just as harmful to your weight as it is to your heart. Although we all crave relaxation, stress can actually be quite difficult to give up, as being perpetually busy has been so continually reinforced by our culture. But you don’t have to give into that! You can live your life and love it, too, by being more than the sum of your schedules and errands—even if you can’t take a longer lunch break tomorrow or increase your number of vacation days.

  Part Three, “Living a Life You Love,” provides this framework for you to complete the French approach to weight loss. We’ll start right at home, with a return to the family dinner table. I’ll show you in Step 8 why many of our health problems have emerged as a result of losing this tradition, and how to instill a social eating atmosphere that helps reduce your portions, and thereby your weight.

  Step 9 moves away from the table and into the stresses of your day, which frustrate your mind, body, and any efforts at controlling your weight problems on psychological and physiological levels. This step provides easy daily solutions to handle your agenda overload. You don’t have to eliminate stress altogether, just deal with it more effectively.

  Sure, exercise can be a wonderful stress reliever—but for many of us, the thought of getting up early to drag ourselves to the gym just adds more anxiety to the day. Step 10 will turn your approach to exercise upside down when we look at the French alternative. When you think of southern Europeans, you don’t immediately think of them as fitness buffs—and that’s because they’re not. Yes, they are fit, but no, they don’t really exercise. The reason they can avoid this comes down to a fundamental distinction—the difference between activity and exercise. Step 10 gives you plenty of both to choose from.

  The lesson from the French is about living a life of moderation, because anything taken to an extreme will be unhealthy for you. This includes your food, your exercise, and even your work, and is the real message of Part Three, embodied best as joie de vivre.

  Step 8

  Return to the Family Table

  One evening after just a few weeks in Lyon, our family was driving home, tired and hungry. We were definitely ready for dinner, but the prospect of cooking a meal after we got home seemed like a huge burden. I found myself longing for local fast-food restaurants—if only I could have just whipped through the Arby’s drive-thru for a five-for-five family meal deal….

  Fortunately, we just didn’t have that option. So we dug through the refrigerator, found some onions and leftover chicken for a stir-fry with broiled potatoes, olive oil, and rosemary. We had some plums in the fridge, too, which we sliced up and drizzled with a bit of cream and brown sugar for dessert. The entire meal took about ten minutes for my wife and me to prepare. As dinner was served, it occurred to me that it actually would have taken us longer to stand in line back at our local Arby’s!

  And, because we made that meal and ate on plates, we all shared it together at the table. No one whisked their individual plastic containers off to the couch to watch TV or to play a video game. That’s how we were forced (at least encouraged) by the culture around us to start eating real food, and sitting down as a family when we ate. After doing this for only a little while, we realized how easy and pleasant it is to eat well and eat together.

  One of the first casualties in the stress-filled life is the family table. On the priority scale, it gets relegated below appointments, activities, reruns, and even the whims of kids who would just rather eat alone in their rooms. The problem is twofold: the perception that you don’t have the time to make the family meal work and the lack of urgency for it because people don’t understand how much it matters for their weight and health.

  As it had been for me, this is one of the biggest challenges our PATH clients face—but if you commit to it, it has fantastic benefits. As one of our PATH participants, Carla Burns, later told me, “This way of eating can fit into the American lifestyle. As a family, we’ve made mealtime a priority (no TV or other distractions while eating). We still have pizza night every Friday, but we make it ourselves—my four-year-old daughter loves to help Mommy make pizza.

  “My doctor is pleased with this approach, as my cholesterol and blood pressure levels are great. I’ve lost those difficult last few pounds (seven to be exact) and my gastro problems have disappeared. Best of all, I’m passing on healthy habits to our young daughter—she actually likes vegetables!”

  Remember when this kind of family eating environment was the rule and not the exception? A study by the YMCA and the White House, released in 2000, showed that one in four parents eat with their families fewer than four times per week, and one in ten eat together only one time or less for any given week. Remember when the meal was about family and friends and not about grabbing a cereal bar as you wave to your spouse or kids on your way out the door? We were thinner back then. Remember that?

  Family and the Family Table

  “Frequency of family meals was inversely associated with tobacco, alcohol, and marijuana use; low grade point average; depressive symptoms; and suicide involvement” (Eisenberg, 2004).

  SCIENCE-TO-ENGLISH TRANSLATION

  It’s not just about the food. Family meals help safeguard you and your kids.

  The French, as well as many other Mediterranean cultures, have not (yet) lost the tradition of eating at the family table. It’s the norm for them to come together for most meals, rather than fracturing mealtimes into the isolation of individual rooms and TV shows.

  I know that daily family meals may still sound tough to fit into your life—we’re all busy—but take a step back and think about what I’m asking you to do compared to a fad diet regime that urges you to follow an artificial “food plan” or cut out entire food groups altogether. Sit down with your family or friends for your meals and make the same commitment in your day that you would for any other scheduled appointment. It’s the most important set of relationships you’ll ever cultivate.

  But what does eating with others at the table have to do with losing weight?

  The Top 5 Reasons the Family Table Is Good for Weight Loss

  Better nutrition. For adults, the loss of the family table is a terrible absence that affects more than just the relationship of parents and their kids. Nutrition science research very clearly shows how it translates into adult weight problems as well. A 2003 study by Dr. Kerri Boutelle concluded that when we eat at the table—rather than in front of a screen, or in the car, or walking around—we tend to eat healthier foods.

&n
bsp; Specifically, the more you eat at the family table, the more you exchange faux foods for real foods. Dr. Dianne Neumark-Sztainer (also in 2003) found that the “frequency of family meals was positively associated with intake of fruits, vegetables, grains, and calcium-rich foods and negatively associated with soft drink consumption.”

  This is very easy math: Greater nutrition equals lower weight problems.

  Natural portion control. Because you’re eating with people around you, you end up talking with them during the meal. This alone can slow you down, which gives your body’s satiety signals a chance to catch up to your eating pace and let you know when you’re satisfied. People who eat with others are much less likely to become stuffed than those who eat alone.

  Talking during the meal also discourages you from stuffing your mouth with food. When you’re alone at the red light, in your private little car, it’s easy to fill your cheek pockets with food before the light turns green. This is a recipe for overeating, of course, and something that doesn’t happen as much when others are around.

  Preventing disordered eating. Normally, a commitment to eating at the family table means that you have to schedule a time in your busy life to have the meal. This is wonderful for your weight, because it tends to be at a predictable time each day. And regular mealtimes, it turns out, are associated with a decrease in bad eating behaviors such as gobbling, passive over-consumption, and poor food choices that all encourage weight problems. Thus, according to the 2004 study by Neumark-Sztainer, the first defense against the disruptive habits of disordered eating may be the regular meal patterns of the family table.

  Social reinforcement. Dr. Bruce Rabin is the medical director of the Healthy Lifestyle Program at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. We were talking over coffee, and he informed me that he felt the single biggest reason that dieters fail comes down to a lack of social support. This is another reason, incidentally, that the simple calories-in, calories-out idea just doesn’t work in the real world. You have got to have help around you, role models, and friends along the way.

  Eating with a group, especially when you’re using the healthy eating habits we’ve learned here, is a perfect reinforcement for those new behaviors. Because, even if you don’t talk to others around you about your habits, you can still notice those who are thin (eating as you are) and those who are not (gobbling their food).

  Help your kids. I know this book is not about childhood obesity, but this is such an important issue, and there’s very strong evidence that the family table is a perfect solution. When kids eat alone, they have no role models for how to eat well and eat moderately, no guidance for relating to others, no direction for carrying on a basic conversation. They are left to figure out these skills as best they can.

  In fact, in a recent survey, overweight children ate dinner in front of the TV 50 percent of the time, compared to 35 percent of the time for normal weight children. And that’s because eating at the family table promotes good nutrition and a moderate eating pace (as mentioned above). However, it also avoids the problem of passive overconsumption that we talked about in Step 4.

  When you and your family eat together every day, kids learn the simple rules of eating well by example, how to be social, and how to take their time with their food. That’s why this is not only important for kids and the family unit, it’s also a key reason the French are so successful at eating well and staying thin throughout their lives.

  How to Eat at the Family Table

  Stop before you start. When you return to the family table, remember that no one eats until all are served and ready to begin. The very act of waiting—even though there’s food right there in front of you—is wonderful practice to emphasize the importance of eating together. The people around you are your main concerns, not mindless consumption. When you all wait to be served, and all start together, these priorities are reinforced.

  Eat in courses. Likewise, if you have more than one course, everyone must finish eating the first one before the next is served. This emphasizes the very same lesson: The meal is about more than your personal hunger, it’s about social sharing as well.

  People watch. The practice of noticing how others eat is another wonderful strategy that gets you out of your au gratin potatoes and forces you to attend to something else. Paying attention to others’ habits also leads to the inevitable comparison: How do their eating habits compare to your own? What a perfect reminder to take your time, eat small, plan on seconds, and enjoy your food! And the result is that you prevent overeating and lose weight.

  Have a slow race. When it’s just our family around the table at home, we play a speed-eating game. Except, at our table, it’s a race to see who’s the last one done. And you can’t cheat by leaving one little nibble and then loitering while everyone else finishes, or wait until all are almost done and then plopping a little more on your plate. My daughter Grace taught me these little tricks of the trade! Remember, make sure your meals are at least twenty minutes long.

  The family table for singles. What do you do if you live alone? If you are single, it’s almost a contradiction in terms for you to eat at the “family table.” But even then, you can create the same atmosphere of success by applying these healthy principles to your life.

  • Start with high expectations by serving yourself wonderful high-quality foods. Buy fresh bread, organic veggies, and the best cuts of meat. When you enjoy them at a delicious pace, you control your portions and realize what a special gift it is you’ve given yourself.

  • Make your eating environment pleasant. Another wonderful way to treat yourself as well as you deserve is to take the time to set the table. Create an enjoyable space around you. You don’t have to clean the house and mop the floors for every meal, just make sure your eating area is neat and uncluttered. Use real dishes, light a candle or two, and put on some agreeable music. The atmosphere really does matter, because the care you take in preparation reflects how well you take care of yourself. Make it nice and you’ll enjoy meals more, feel better, spend more time with meals, and eat less in the process.

  • Take an author to dinner. Chose a book by your favorite writer to be your dinner companion. Read it only at dinner, put your fork down to read between bites, and make your meal last a graciously long time. Eating while reading tends to make us eat slower, but eating in front of the TV encourages overconsumption.

  • Take takeout out of the box. When you’re home alone, it can be tempting to eat from your lap while watching reruns. Even if you’re having takeout (and make sure it’s real, not faux food!), always remove your chicken from the bucket, your Hunan shrimp from the carton, and your pizza from the box. Serve them on plates and you’ll control your portions.

  • Eat with friends. The more people you eat with, the better the atmosphere. You can either have them bring their own dishes already cooked or bring the raw materials and help you put things together on the spot. This gets all your friends together and encourages them to try new and interesting foods. In graduate school, we had a “wretched excess” gathering of friends where we all brought wonderful foods to someone’s house and shared them together. It is good fun, good friends, good food.

  PEOPLE ON THE PATH

  Dear Dr. Clower,

  I am a type 2 diabetic. My diabetes was under control with diet and exercise until I became pregnant in February 2005. The doctors put me on insulin and a special diet that did nothing for my well-being and my already overweight body, and only made my blood sugars worse and my insulin needs higher. I went back to your French lifestyle plan and immediately saw results. I am now able to enjoy my pregnancy without having to take shots of insulin. I am also going to eat this way throughout my pregnancy, to help me keep my blood sugars under control.

  Last night, at our family dinner table, I watched my daughter put one noodle at a time on her spoon, thinking how a year ago I would have been telling her to hurry up. I used to get frustrated with the way my daughter eats. I thought she was t
rying to be a mouse by nibbling things to death. Then I read about your approach, and I realized that she’d had it right all along. I immediately stopped telling her to eat faster, take bigger bites, and so on. I look at her now, taking her dainty little bites, and I think, “Yes, this is how it’s supposed to be.”

  Now, we relax at mealtimes. I just marvel at how natural this way of eating/way of life is for children who haven’t been messed up by their environment. I am enjoying retraining myself to the natural way of eating. And, by the way, I have never so enjoyed the process of losing thirty-plus pounds as I have on this approach.

  Thank you so much. This IS the good life!

  —Melissa F.

  Late-Night Eating: The Physiology of a Myth

  Efforts to keep from overeating can be frustrated by your schedule. One particular stumble happens when you work beyond the traditional time for dinner and get home late (after eight, say). What to do then? Everyone “knows” you’ll get fat if you eat late at night. Right?

  Eat late (begins the idea), and you’ll get fat because you put food in your stomach too close to bedtime. So when you do go to sleep, the meal just lays there and ultimately turns straight into fat. That lazy food.

  Although this sounds plausible, it is, in fact, a myth.

  The reason comes back to physiology. You know how your fingers, toes, and nose are the first to freeze in bitter cold winter weather? That’s because your body is brilliantly adaptable, responding to cold temperatures by cutting off blood flow from your periphery and keeping it in close to your core where it’s vitally needed.