Friendship on Fire

by Danielle Weiler

  Suddenly I remembered my new bra. Standing up so quickly that I rocked the table, I peered down to see the soda had started to collect the new bra in its path and was continuing steadily down my stomach.

  Nanna was already giving advice about how to soak the red stain out of the shirt. Nate hid a smile while he chewed his food. It was only me, apparently, who was remotely upset with this new development to our family dinner.

  In my room, I slammed the door. Taking off the wretched shirt, I started to wipe down the front of my chest with my towel to rescue the bra. It was useless, and I felt like crying.

  My door opened. Looking up, I saw Nate standing at the threshold, unsure about his unannounced entrance.

  I sighed with resignation. ‘Hi. It’s not exactly the best introduction to this scenario,’ I said, shyly looking up at the ceiling.

  ‘Nice bra. Is it new? Girly, but cute. Are you turning thirteen though, or eighteen?’ he teased, cocking his head to one side.

  My head tingled with embarrassment and my eyes stung at his tactless comment. I was already humiliated in front of my brothers and parents. I didn’t need him making it ten times worse.

  ‘Just go back out if you’re going to be rude,’ I said softly, reaching for the offending wet t-shirt to cover up my chest.

  ‘Hey — I didn’t mean …’ he started, but I interrupted him.

  ‘So why do you say what you say then?’ I whispered, still hot with shame.

  ‘Daisy, when are you going to learn to trust me? You know my sense of humour is a bit out there. I never mean to upset you. Why can’t you laugh at me?’ His eyes searched mine.

  I avoided his eyes. ‘That’s the thing. You should also be getting to know me and what I’m comfortable with. I’m trying to learn about you and your boundaries, so would it kill you to be sensitive and not have to state the obvious?’

  He averted his eyes for a while and shifted nervously on his feet. Had I ruined the night with my sensitivity?

  ‘Look. I’ll get another shirt and come back out. Wait for me there. I won’t be long,’ I said, holding the shirt in place and waiting for him to leave.

  He tilted his head so that he could catch an eye-full of my stomach and arms. Alarmed, yet intrigued, I watched him inspect me without knowing what to say.

  ‘I didn’t say I didn’t like what I saw,’ he said slowly.

  I blushed crimson and held the shirt to my chest tighter. A tingle went up my spine as his words echoed in my head. I couldn’t hide all of my upper body and he was looking at what I had left to show.

  He saw my weakness and took a few steps closer. Pulling the shirt gently out of my hands and throwing it away, he wrapped his arms around my back and gave me a warm, strong hug. I breathed in the scent from his neck and put my arms gently around his waist. Nate kissed my neck, his stubble tickling the soft skin at the base, giving me goose bumps. Then he stood back, holding one of my hands.

  ‘Nate …’ I started, feeling like the only one who was exposed.

  ‘I’d like to see the matching part one day,’ he winked. A cheeky gaze at my skirt followed.

  I was conscious of everyone at the table still eating, possibly waiting for us to return. Would someone come looking for us? I gave him a kiss and turned him around. He opened the door and quietly left. I rummaged in my drawers three times over before I found a suitable shirt and bra replacement. My hands were shaking and my head was cloudy. I stood in front of the mirror, making sure everything was in place before I went back outside to face everyone.

  As I sat back down at the table, dessert was being served and everyone was talking like nothing had happened. Treston invited Nate to play the Wii after dinner so I helped Mum clean up and put the leftovers away.

  ‘I think it’s going well, don’t you?’ she asked as she handed me dishes to pile up on the sink.

  ‘Yeah it was, until I spilt the drink down my front,’ I pouted.

  ‘Don’t worry about it. You were comic relief for the night,’ she grinned.

  ‘Thanks. Exactly what I set out to be,’ I sooked.

  She laughed. I knew I was being a baby, but with Mum I could say what I wanted without her telling me off. It was nice to be able to exaggerate feelings and still be loved.

  Cheers went up from the boys. I smiled to myself as I turned the tap on. It was good having a ‘boyfriend’ who got along well with my brothers. As long as they didn’t try to steal him from me completely, I was very grateful to them for including Nate in their games.

  An hour later, the boys were still playing Wii and I was getting tired. I didn’t want to interrupt their games but I had run out of things to occupy myself with while waiting for them to finish. Wasn’t this supposed to be my dinner with Nate? Not a boys’ night? I got tired of waiting for them.

  I marched into the lounge room and said, ‘Well I’m going to head to bed. Goodnight, guys.’

  I looked searchingly at Nate, who stared back almost helplessly, and turned to go. I really hoped he would follow, but was also prepared for the scenario if he didn’t. Heading to the bathroom, I got ready for bed. Teeth brushed, pyjamas on. I was about to turn my lamp off when I heard a small knock at my door.

  ‘Come in,’ I said, pulling the doona cover up to my shoulders and sitting up in bed.

  Nate came in with a look on his face I couldn’t place. Was it sheepish? Was it uncomfortable? Was it annoyed? I raised my eyebrows at him and waited for him to speak first. He sat on the edge of the bed.

  ‘I didn’t think you’d go to bed so early.’

  ‘I didn’t think you’d play for so long.’

  I didn’t know what to feel. On one hand I was glad he spent time with my brothers. On the other, I felt like I hadn’t seen him properly all night. I so badly wanted his attention.

  ‘I lost track of time. Treston is my friend too …’ he said slowly, but stopped.

  ‘Yeah and I’m fine with that. It’ll be hard to juggle both when you come over. I guess I thought you were coming over for me, to spend time with me. I didn’t realise I’d have such strong competition,’ I said, eyes lowered. I didn’t like feeling unimportant.

  ‘I am here to see you. I didn’t want your brothers to think I was snobbing them off, either. Josh already doesn’t like me. Look, why don’t we hang out right here?’ he asked earnestly. I knew he was in a hard place. I was still excited about the newness of us and being alone together. I smiled weakly.

  ‘I really want to. But I’m so tired. I’m ready for bed and not dressed to hang out with you.’

  ‘If I’d known …’ he said, then changed his mind. ‘You’re right. You should get your sleep. I’ll see you on Sunday? I’ll probably see Mum and Amelie tomorrow night, if they’re not busy.’

  ‘Yep, sounds good. Let me know how it goes,’ I said, folding my arms across the doona.

  ‘I will. Thanks for dinner. Tell your mum it was great. I had a really good time. Especially when you spilt …’

  ‘Yeah, yeah don’t remind me. Hopefully that won’t happen again.’ I turned red again.

  ‘Why would you hope for that? I hope it happens every time,’ he grinned.

  ‘Want me to walk you out?’ I asked.

  ‘Nah it’s OK. You’re looking comfortable where you are. I’ll see myself out,’ he said, bending forward to kiss me.

  I didn’t realise it until afterwards, but the kiss I responded to him with was a sad kiss.

  eels like we haven’t seen each other properly since the party,’ Rach had said on the phone on Saturday afternoon. ‘How ‘bout we go to the movies or something and catch the latest chick flick with a few of the girls? Unless you’re busy,’ she added on, out of respect or annoyance at the new person in our friendship sphere. We weren’t used to sharing each other.

  ‘Uh, nope, I don’t think we’re doing anything,’ I said without thinking. I winced at my own reference to Nate; but why? ‘I’d love to hang out. What movie do you want to see?’

  ‘I’ll look o
nline and text you later. Oh and who should I invite?’

  ‘Don’t mind,’ I said casually. If I was honest, I was dying to go to the movies with Nate. ‘You decide; I’m happy with whatever.’

  ‘OK. See you there,’ she replied cheerfully.

  ‘Yep, you too, bye.’

  I was glad Nate was seeing Amelie and his mum. It was important that he still see his family. Just because things weren’t good, it didn’t help to avoid positive contact. I could imagine how confused Amelie was over this and she needed her big brother to comfort her and let her know it was going to be OK.

  I texted him to let him know of my plans with the girls.

  He couldn’t help himself; writing back with,

  Just you wait ‘til I get you in the movie theatre. We won’t be watching much of the movie, that’s for sure.

  I giggled at that. What if it was a movie I wanted to watch? I wondered what his reaction would be to that. He’d probably say something cheeky like, ‘Then go watch it again later by yourself.’

  And so that night I found myself standing alone at Starlight Cinemas, Twin Rocks’ only cinema with a big screen, waiting for my friends to rescue me. I wore denim shorts and a white Bonds singlet, with a pink and white striped scarf around my head. I couldn’t see anyone. Maybe Rach wasn’t planning to come, wanting to punish me for leaving her with the cops last weekend. My sensible side told me I was being stupid for thinking that, but part of me believed anyone could be unreasonable if they felt justified.

  I sat on a bench and took out my phone. Sometimes when I got bored, I would check the list of numbers to see if I felt compelled to contact any of them to check how they were going. What a silly idea right now; I didn’t feel like contacting anybody but it was better to look busy than seem like a loner in a public place. I got down to R in my address book and Roman’s name glared hot on my screen. To my surprise, my fingers itched to send him a text message. But what would I say? I wanted to know what he was up to this weekend. How could I write that without seeming like I was sussing him out to invite him somewhere? I saw him every day at school; I knew what he was doing in his life, so why did I feel like I wanted extra attention?

  Suddenly, Linda sat down next to me with a thud and grinned. She was always so cheerful it was sickening.

  ‘Hey Daisy, who you texting huh?’

  She leaned over to try to read my phone. Her long, dark brown hair tickled my nose as I tried to hold the phone away from her prying eyes.

  ‘No one,’ I blushed.

  ‘Sure, sure,’ she teased and pushed my leg playfully. ‘I’ve heard about this Nate guy you’ve been seeing.’

  ‘Oh really.’ I sounded doubtful. ‘And what have you heard?’

  ‘Only bits and pieces from Rach. And rumours. But I know I can’t believe any rumours the Blonde Brigade start, so I don’t listen to those,’ she said, trying to be reassuring.

  ‘No, you can’t. What have they said? What has Rach said?’ I demanded, nonchalance slipping through my fingers.

  ‘Nothing serious, just that you couldn’t stop pashing him at the party last weekend and you went to have a beach romp with him afterwards. Go girl.’

  She nudged me and grinned. I blushed crimson. I didn’t blame Linda for the information she had heard. She was genuinely trying to be supportive, albeit in a different way than I would go about it. My chest burned with alarm. What sorts of stories were getting around about Nate and me? Rumours were not something I took well; I hadn’t yet learned to switch off and show that I didn’t care about what people said.

  Sarah came screaming over towards us and Linda jumped up and gave her a bear hug. The way they behaved, anyone would think we didn’t see each other very often. Sarah slung her arm around my shoulders. She was equally as crazy as Linda, but with light brown hair and braces that looked about ready to come off. They were hilarious together, especially when they talked about boys. I hoped they didn’t want to discuss a particular boy with me tonight.

  ‘How the hell are you, Daisy?’ Sarah asked, squeezing my arm. I laughed agreeably before asking Sarah how she was going. While she was answering me with a tirade of information, I subtly pressed ‘exit’ on my phone and locked the keypad. My little SMS Freudian slip would hopefully go unnoticed and I wouldn’t have to do any explaining.

  Rach walked up the stairs to the left side of the cinema and waved at us to come inside. She was organising our tickets in line as we waited off to the side, chatting.

  ‘Is anyone else coming?’ I asked.

  ‘Nup, this is it,’ she answered.

  ‘This is going to be so cool,’ Linda bounced. Rach and I looked at each other and smiled.

  One would think that if a significant other knew they were at the movies, needing to be undisturbed in order to catch shifts in the story line, they wouldn’t contact them. Or not so regularly.

  Nate must have been incredibly bored with his mum because he wouldn’t stop texting me while I was trying to watch the film. On the one hand I was very excited to be getting so much attention, but on the other hand, I knew it was annoying the girls each time my phone screen lit up with the announcement of another text. I was waiting for one of them to demand that I turn it off. It wasn’t as if Nate was writing important stuff. Stuff that was life or death. It was flirty crap, designed to tease me and keep my mind on him while out with the girls.

  Ingenious, but annoying.

  At the end of the show, we sat staring at the credits in the semi-darkness. The girls were chatting about how amazing the movie was. Apparently it was hilarious, romantic and epic. I didn’t know how great it was. Unfortunately Rach asked my opinion.

  ‘Yeah it was great,’ I said enthusiastically, although I didn’t remember half of it. I grabbed my bag ready to go.

  ‘What was your favourite part?’ Rach asked, her tone somewhat strained.

  I peered at her. What was this about?

  ‘The first part of the main character’s relationship, of course, before the crap happened,’ I replied honestly. It came out ironically.

  ‘Oh my god me too,’ squealed Linda, and I was off the hook. Rach stared at me for a few more seconds before she stood up.

  I called Mum to get me and waited outside the cinema for her. There was a chill in the air, making me wish I’d brought a jumper to take the edge off the freshness. Sarah and Linda were chatting away about their shopping on eBay while Rach and I stood next to them, saying nothing. Something was awkward between us. It was like we didn’t have anything in common to talk about.

  ‘So, uh, did your parents ever find out about the party?’ I asked casually.

  ‘Nah. The neighbours didn’t tell. Guess calling the cops on me was my only punishment,’ she said, with a bitter laugh.

  ‘That’s good.’

  ‘Yeah.’

  Silence. Rachael’s mum pulled up to the curb and she raced around to the passenger side. Waving to us, they disappeared down the road and I stood wondering what was going wrong. I get a boyfriend, but do I have to lose a friend to make up for it? That wasn’t fair. How was I supposed to confront her about her attitude when I didn’t have any hard facts to use as evidence? I would look paranoid. My common sense told me to wait and see what happens.

  Linda and Sarah’s parents came to pick them up and I was left alone to wait for Mum. I pulled out my phone again. The niggling was surfacing again. Should I contact Roman?

  Or not? What if he started asking questions? He was such a comfort zone for me.

  Hey. How are you? What are you up to?

  I ended up writing, pathetically. Last chance to back out now. Send.

  I waited nervously for his response. Five minutes went past. Ten. Mum picked me up and I held my phone in case it beeped. Nothing. Where was he? Embarrassed, I entertained the idea of him being in the middle of a date, getting a text message from his lonely friend on a Saturday night.

  Mum started talking. ‘Dad wants to go to the markets tomorrow. You keen?’
/>   ‘Uh, yep,’ I said quickly. Hope he buys me something, I thought.

  ‘Good. Now, because you volunteered, it’s up to you to keep an eye on his spending. Nothing we don’t need. Be subtle, or he’ll know I’ve sent you to watch. You hear?’ Mum looked at me sidelong.

  ‘Sure, Mum,’ I said distantly.

  ‘You all right?’ she asked, forehead crinkling.

  ‘Yeah …’ My voice trailed off.

  Her tone changed. ‘Was it a violent movie? Because you know what I think about violent movies, Daisy.’

  ‘No, Mum, it wasn’t violent.’ I took a deep breath. ‘Things are … strange between me and Rach, that’s all. She wasn’t as friendly as usual.’

  Mum shrugged. ‘Maybe she’s having an off night? Maybe she has heaps of homework? Maybe she has boy troubles?’

  I rolled my eyes. Mum had this annoying habit of making excuses for everyone, no matter how extreme their behaviour was. I wanted to be believed, not redirected.

  ‘I guess so,’ I agreed, to stop the conversation.

  ‘Don’t worry. Things will be back to normal by Monday. Girls are funny like that.’

  ‘Yep.’

  I checked my phone, worried I’d gone deaf. Still no reply.

  Maybe Roman didn’t want to hear from me. Stuff him. I was too tired now to talk even if he did call. I stuck my chin in the air and folded my arms as we pulled into our street.

  I opened my eyes to the sound of whispering. It took me a moment to adjust my eyes to the sudden light in front of me and the big grey blob covering the light. Dad had his face ten centimetres from mine and was whispering at me to wake me up. I jumped.

  ‘Dad, don’t do that,’ I whispered angrily.

  ‘Well you wouldn’t wake up. And I didn’t want to wake the whole household by shouting at you,’ he said defensively.

  ‘What’s the time?’ I snapped.

  ‘Seven.’

  ‘What?’ I squeaked. Was he mad? This wasn’t a school day.