by Ana Sparks
“Of-of course, Jensen,” I managed to stammer out, receiving a reassuring smile in turn.
“You’re a beautiful woman. I’m sure you’re well aware. What I mean to say is…I’ve always harbored an attraction toward you. I’ve wanted nothing more than to touch you since I first lay eyes on you,” he said bluntly, oozing confidence, and I found myself unable to keep from smiling. He seemed to be waiting for a response and, considering that it was obviously a full disclosure conversation, I threw caution to the wind.
“The feeling’s mutual. I’m sure you’ve felt my eyes on you at work, I’m not exactly the subtlest woman in the world. Every time you look at me…” I paused as his eyes danced with mirth. “Yes, like that. When you do that, it’s all I can do to keep from kissing you,” I admitted, my face growing almost unbearably hot. His expression changed from one of amusement to something much deeper, almost primal.
“We’ve got our answer then, don’t we?” he said, edging even closer to me. I struggled to remain in one spot, resisting the desire to surge toward him. I wanted him to take the lead, and he seemed all too eager to do so as he tangled a hand in my hair and drew my face closer to his. I squeezed my eyes shut, his breath hot against my lips.
When our lips touched, it was like a thousand electric shocks jolted through my body all at once. I fought to swallow a moan, only partially succeeding as he parted my lips with his tongue, massaging my own into action. He seemed pleased when I gripped his shirt, all but draping myself in his lap as our tongues danced and tangled.
When he drew away, the look he gave me sent a jolt of arousal straight between my thighs. I could feel the steady pulsing of my arousal, feeling embarrassingly wet for all we had done. If all it took was a bit of foreplay for me to come undone at his hands, I couldn’t imagine the pleasure of having him inside of me. The thought was enough to make me squirm and Jensen gripped my hips, his jaw clenching. I became suddenly aware of just what part of him I was wriggling against and parted my lips to apologize, only for him to hungrily smash our mouths together again.
Jensen held me firmly in place against his lap, and I could feel his manhood stiffening as things began to intensify. I drew away, urgently trying to tug my shirt off, and he took the hint, helping me. My chest heaved as he moved to cup my breasts in his hands, the sensation almost agonizingly pleasurable in spite of the thin layer fabric between us. He quickly reached around, unclasping my bra with one swift movement. As it fell away, he ducked his head to latch his lips around one of my swiftly-hardening nipples.
“Jensen,” I cried out helplessly, arching into his mouth. His hips jerked upwards, and I gasped as I felt the bulge of his manhood through his slacks. Unable to control myself, I quickly worked to unbutton his shirt, popping some of the buttons clean off in the process. I blushed, offering him an apologetic smile.
“Eager, aren’t we?” he panted, though it looked as if he were trying very hard to restrain himself.
“Can you blame me?” I whimpered, cursing myself for how needy I sounded.
Jensen smirked, reaching down between us to pop the button on his pants. He shifted them down on his hips, just enough for his straining manhood to pop free from his briefs. He breathed a sigh of relief, and my eyes widened as I took in the sheer size of him. I hesitantly reached down, gripping his girth in my hand. I could feel the steady beating of his pulse against my palm, and I found myself getting more flustered than ever.
“Do you want it?” Jensen whispered huskily, meeting my gaze with a cheeky little smile. My whole body shook from the intensity of my arousal, and I could do little more than softly mewl as he pressed his fingers to the damp fabric of my panties. He stroked me slowly through the fabric. I was nearly falling apart in his grip.
“Jensen, please,” I gasped, breath catching as he pushed my panties aside and pressed the head of his manhood against my entrance. I tensed my hands on his shoulders, bracing myself as I began to lower myself onto him. Inch by inch, he began to fill me up, and unable to support my own weight any longer, I allowed my hands to drop as I pressed my face into his shoulder. As the final inches sank into me, I could only moan as I clenched around his length.
“God, you’re so tight,” he whispered, tangling a hand in my hair. I hummed against his skin, unable to form words as I slowly raised and lowered my hips, sweet ecstasy filling me nearly to the brim. He aided me in my movements, guiding me up and down on his stiff member. I began to pick up the pace, feeling as if I could plummet off of the deep end at any given moment. He moaned encouragingly, angling his hips just so, and as he slammed my hips down against his own, I saw stars.
He continued to push me, harder and harder until I hit my peak with a sudden cry. I clenched around him, my walls flexing to get every drop out of him that I could. He came a moment later, spilling his seed deep inside of me. I felt so pleasantly full, my body aching with sheer pleasure.
“That was… Wow,” I said in a breathy gasp, and he smiled cheekily up at me.
“I aim to please,” he replied, though there was the faintest hint of weariness in his tone. I moved to shift off of him, but he gripped me tightly, refusing to allow me to move. He pressed his lips gently to my own again, and I wrapped my arms around him, breathing a soft sigh. “Would you like to stay the night?” he softly inquired, only a breath separating us. Giddiness washed over me, and it was all I could do to keep my composure.
“I’d love to,” I replied. He wrapped his arms around me, rising to his feet and carrying me to the bedroom. We collapsed on the bed, and a sense of peace washed over me as Jensen began to softly snore at my side. Unable to keep a smile from working its way onto my face, I pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth and began to drift off as well.
I couldn’t imagine things getting any better.
Chapter 10
Ashley
He pressed me against the mattress, peppering kisses along the column of my throat. I tangled my hands in his hair, gasping desperately as he pressed the entirety of his length inside of me.
I felt more fulfilled than I’d ever felt before, desperately clinging to the man who was only becoming more important to me as the days passed. We’d been spending more and more time together since that first night, desperately trying to conceive the child we both longed for.
“Jensen,” I moaned as he hit the spot that made my eyes nearly roll back in my head.
He only groaned in response, grazing my neck with his teeth and sucking hard until I was sure a large purple mark would form. I knew the people at work would talk if they saw it, but they’d have no means of knowing who was responsible. We had decided to keep our arrangement to ourselves, for the sake of professionalism. While it seemed inevitable that the news would come out eventually, we wanted to cling to what little privacy we could.
His hands palmed my breasts, and I arched into his touch with a sigh of pleasure. While we had been spending our nights together, making passionate love whenever possible, I was sure I would never tire of the feeling. Sex with Jensen was the most mind-blowing experience I’d ever had, unlike anything else in the world. I wasn’t a virgin by any means, but he blew all my other partners out of the water.
“I’m close,” he whispered against my skin, his thrusts becoming swifter. I moaned in response, dragging my nails down the expanse of his shoulders. I bounced with the force of each pump into me, and within moments, I was seeing stars again. I whimpered as I came, pressing our lips together as he bottomed out inside of me. Jet after jet of his essence filled me up, and I threw my head back from the sheer force of our passion.
“Oh, God,” I said breathlessly, basking in the afterglow. Jensen smiled at me, brushing a lock of sweat-soaked hair away from my eyes. “What’s the damage this time?” I asked with faint amusement, gesturing to my neck. He looked me over for a moment, smiling cockily.
“I can do worse,” he replied cheekily.
I rolled my eyes, kissing him to quiet him down. In the time we’d been spending
together, we’d become almost casually affectionate with each other. Kissing each other while in the privacy of his home had become a part of our routine, to the point that I had to repeatedly remind myself that the situation would not necessarily lead to a relationship between the two of us.
As much as I liked to entertain the idea that Jensen might have found himself falling for me, it was business as usual once I left his penthouse. We exchanged the occasional text message, mainly to arrange the best times to see each other. There hadn’t been a private exchange where we’d not had wild sex, and I knew that taking me out on a date or something similar was the last thing on his mind.
“Don’t you have another business trip tomorrow?” I asked quietly, allowing my eyes to flutter shut as I settled comfortably in his bed. He lay down beside me, drawing me into his arms in a way that made furious butterflies swarm in my gut.
“I’m afraid so. I’m supposed to be following a lead on the latest fertility treatment we’re developing,” he replied. I chuckled softly, finding the situation vaguely ironic. I could only hope we would never need the aid of something like fertility treatments, but it was too soon to determine whether our nonstop lovemaking had borne fruit.
“I’ll miss you,” I said without thought, cringing as soon as I allowed the words to slip past my lips. Jensen didn’t seem particularly bothered by the statement, however, resting his chin on top of my head and sighing contently.
“I know, Ashley. You know I’ll miss you dearly as well. Every moment we’re apart, I can think of little but coming home and having my way with you,” he said. I could only wonder how he remained so confident in spite of everything, if he was ever curious regarding a deeper nature to our relationship. I could never voice the question to him, too terrified that he would think me ridiculously emotional.
Then again, I felt as if I’d progressed beyond the point of keeping my cool. I was certain he was aware that I held some measure of feelings toward him, but he’d never mentioned it. We occasionally chatted about what our future may be like, but there was never any implication of a relationship beyond our cooperative parent status. I tried not to let it bother me, but I couldn’t deny that I wished something more would come from our time together.
I resolved that I would be satisfied with whatever happened, as long as we created the child we so desperately desired. As much as I found my feelings for Jensen deepening, I wouldn’t force him into anything he’d not agreed to.
I peeked an eye open to glance at the clock on his bedside table. It was nearing the time I usually woke and got ready for work, though since I’d been spending time at Jensen’s penthouse, we always woke up extra early for a bit of a morning treat. I extracted myself from his arms, languidly stretching my own over my head. My back arched in a pleasant stretch, and I breathed a sigh before shuffling toward his bathroom.
We avoided getting in the shower together, knowing we’d be unable to keep our hands off of each other enough to actually wash ourselves. Regardless of how nice it may have been to spend all our time fooling around, we both still had jobs to get to. I knew Jensen would have to tie up some loose ends at the office before departing on his next business trip, and I’d be left to run things while he was absent.
Trying to avoid moping as I stood in the stream of hot water, I grabbed a bottle of body wash. I still spent a good bit of time at my own apartment, but I tried to enjoy what time Jensen had available for me. That occasionally meant staying the night when I was too exhausted from our lovemaking to even attempt driving home. Jensen had been the one to suggest keeping a stock of supplies at his penthouse, though he had offered to buy them himself.
Reluctant to take advantage of his kindness and refusing to get caught up in the idea of him having secret feelings for me, I had insisted upon buying my own things. I’d reminded him that I would still have to provide for myself once the baby came, and though he had seemed troubled by the thought, he hadn’t corrected me.
Groaning, I lost myself in the sensation of water washing over me. I knew I was overthinking things, but that didn’t stop me. I liked to tell myself that there was a chance, however remote, that he felt some semblance of the way I felt for him. It wasn’t to say I didn’t think Jensen cared about me at all; I knew he carried some form of affection for me. It was just that I hoped the affection would mold into something more…intimate.
Granted, one couldn’t get much more intimate than we already were.
Shaking off the thoughts, I finished washing up and stepped out of the shower. As I toweled myself off, Jensen stepped into the bathroom to take his turn in the shower. We exchanged smiles, and my heart fluttered in my chest at the sight of him. It was all I could do not to ask him for round two, but I knew there were more pressing matters to attend to, at least for the time being.
Shuffling toward the vanity, I squeezed a glob of toothpaste onto the extra toothbrush I’d bought. I idly examined my reflection as I brushed, wondering what it would feel like to actually be carrying Jensen’s child. I hoped the seed had already been planted, but somehow I felt as if I would be more radiant or…something. Didn’t people say women had a glow about them when they were pregnant? While I doubtless looked much happier since I’d been spending more time with my boss, I wouldn’t say I was glowing.
After swilling with mouthwash, I carefully attended to my hair, not particularly fond of the bedhead look on myself. As Jensen stepped out of the shower, I shifted out of his way to go get dressed. The rest of our morning routine carried on as usual, though I was dreading the idea of going to work.
As soon as Jensen finished his few tasks for the day, he would be off on another trip, and while I was happy that he got to enjoy so much time abroad, I couldn’t help feeling somewhat empty without his presence.
Once we were ready to head out, he kissed me on the cheek a final time before leaving for work. Though we were going to the same place, we went in our own cars to avoid arousing suspicion. I waited five minutes before following in the same direction he’d gone. Once we arrived at work, it was back to our typical employer/employee relationship. That meant I had to contain myself as he announced that he was leaving for Japan.
I bid him goodbye with a polite smile and wave. Though I’d done it a number of times, it never seemed to get easier.
It felt as if he were taking a piece of my heart with him.
Chapter 11
Ashley
The most passionate three months of my life passed, and though Jensen and I went at it like rabbits nearly every night, nothing had come of it. No matter how many pregnancy tests I took, I continued to get the same disheartening response.
Initially, I refused to acknowledge that we might have been having fertility issues. I tried to reason that these things take time, though deep down I knew the issue had to run deeper than that.
If Jensen was having similar doubts, he never expressed them. He kept his confident and cheeky demeanor no matter what, so I refused to cry in front of him. If he could be strong through this, so could I. I noticed that he held me closer after we made love, reluctant to say goodbye on the nights I actually went home.
Feeling as if I was letting him down, I began to spend more nights at home. I only allowed my sadness to spill over when I was alone, bursting into uncontrollable tears with each negative pregnancy test. While Jensen didn’t seem to have the same uncertainty, he seemed concerned about my shift in attitude. I couldn’t maintain my usual sunny personality, and I was beginning to spend most of my day zoned out with zero productivity. It only served to make me feel worse, knowing that I was failing both as a surrogate and as an employee.
Sitting at my desk, I stared bleakly at my computer screen and the emails piling up in my unsorted folder. Tears spilled down my cheeks, and I hiccuped softly with sobs. While I tried to keep my composure at work, it was becoming near impossible. I refused to let Jensen in; I couldn’t imagine telling him how useless I felt. It was as if bringing up my flaws would be the one thing t
o draw his attention to them, and then he would realize what little value I provided in his life.
Burying my face in my hands, I ignored my computer as it continued to play a little jingle for every email I received. I was losing sleep and could scarcely find it within me to eat, most days. A part of me longed for someone to notice and reach out to me. I wanted comfort from the man I’d come to adore, but I was well aware that it wouldn’t be forthcoming. Not because of any misstep on Jensen’s part; it was simply that I couldn’t bear the idea of him seeing me like this.
When my office door opened, I nearly jumped out of my skin. My eyes widened as they fell upon the visitor, the very last person I wanted to see in that moment: Jensen himself. He held a sumptuous-smelling pastry puff in one hand, a caramel macchiato in the other. As he took in my appearance, his typically confident expression gave way to concern.
I roughly rubbed my eyes, desperately hoping he didn’t see how miserable I was, but when he sat the food items on my desk and circled around to draw me into his arms, I knew I had been caught.
“Ashley…?” Jensen softly implored, and it was all I could do to keep from crying out in anguish. I tried to pry myself out of his grip, wishing that I was dreaming, trying to force this moment out of reality.
Jensen held fast, and while I knew we were the only ones on the top floor, I felt as if this had broken our number one rule. He was showing me a kindness that no boss would show his employee, treating me with a delicacy that I didn’t deserve. Once we stepped back into GlobaPharm headquarters, things were supposed to resume as usual.
This went against everything we had previously arranged, and I felt as if I had ruined things altogether. My reaction wasn’t the most rational one in the world, but my fight or flight response began to take over. Distraught, I pushed away from Jensen with as much force as I could muster. He released me, though it was clear that I’d scarcely fazed him. He didn’t lose his balance, only taking a step back to look me over.
