For Keeps

by Rachel Lacey

  “Hell of a day,” he said.

  She nodded. “Glad I have tomorrow off. I may sleep all day.”

  “Or do something in bed anyway.”

  She gave him a sly look. “Or something.”

  Her eyes sparkled, and he felt himself getting aroused just staring into their hazel depths. This woman had a crazy hold over him with nothing more than a look and a wink.

  The bartender slapped two cold beers in front of them, and T.J. felt his own tension slipping away. He didn’t get out often and hadn’t been to a bar with a woman in far too long. It wasn’t a bad way to end a long week.

  Merry took a long drink from her beer, then licked the froth from her upper lip. “Did Noah say anything to you about what happened?”

  “Hmm?” His brain had shorted out watching her tongue dart over her lip. “No, he hasn’t said a word.”

  “I hate that he was the one walking her when it happened.” Her brow creased. “He must feel so guilty about it. I should go talk to him tomorrow.”

  “I’ll talk to him.” He said it without thinking, then saw the way she drew back. “I mean, maybe you could come with me.”

  Dammit, why were they constantly stepping on each other’s toes? Neither of them had mentioned the argument they’d had right before the accident, which he was thankful for. He didn’t see any way out of their opposing views on Amber’s future.

  “There’s my dad.” She gestured to a tall, lean man with dark hair standing near the stage. He wore jeans and a plaid shirt and held a fiddle under his right arm.

  T.J. sent silent thanks for the subject change. “You going to introduce us?”

  “He’ll be over in a few minutes to say hi.” She stared into her beer, still with an uncharacteristically brooding look on her face.

  “You know Amber’s going to be fine, right?” he asked.

  She nodded. “She’s lucky.”

  “Then what’s bothering you?”

  She looked up at him, her eyes bright with pain. Then the lens slid over them that she kept in place, holding him and everyone else at bay. “Sorry, the day just got to me, that’s all. Thanks for dragging me out here. I promise I’ll be more fun once I get a couple of beers in me.”

  “I don’t care if you’re fun. Feel whatever you’re feeling.”

  She scoffed, then downed the rest of her beer and smiled. “Have you forgotten my name? It means ‘cheerful and lively.’ ”

  “How’d you wind up with that, anyway?”

  “I was born on Christmas Eve. My parents were feeling, well, merry I guess.” She winked. “Want to guess my middle name?”

  He narrowed his eyes at her. “Don’t even tell me it’s Christmas.”

  She snorted. “Thankfully not. It’s Joy.”

  “Joy’s a normal name.” Then he said them together in his head. “Oh.”

  “Right. Merry Joy Atwater. I had no choice but to grow up happy.”

  “Merry Joy.” He looked over at her father, still standing beside the stage tuning his fiddle. “Were they hippies or something?”

  “Teenagers right out of high school. Sadly, the happiness faded for my mom around the time the Christmas decorations were put away. She couldn’t handle the responsibility so she took off.”

  “Damn. That’s rough.”

  She shrugged. “I obviously don’t remember her so it’s probably better that she left before she had a chance to disappoint me.”

  “And your dad? He obviously stuck around.”

  She smiled again, a genuine smile full of warmth and emotion. “My dad is amazing. He raised me on his own, and he did a pretty good job if I do say so myself.”

  “He sure did.” Yeah, her dad must be a pretty all right guy, to have stepped up and raised a daughter when he was barely more than a child himself. “That must have been tough for him.”

  “Oh, it was.” She paused to smile at the bartender as he replaced her beer. “Thank you.”

  He watched her drink from it, wondering if growing up motherless had anything to do with her lack of desire to start a family of her own.

  As if he’d sensed their conversation, her dad looked over and spotted them, then crossed the room and rested a hand on Merry’s shoulder. “Hey, sweetie. Who’s this? New boyfriend?” He turned to T.J. with a friendly smile.

  He stuck out his hand. “T. J. Jameson.”

  “He runs the camp I’m working at,” Merry said.

  “Oh, that’s right. What a great thing you’re doing! I’m Gerry Atwater, by the way. Merry’s dad, if she didn’t already tell you.”

  “She pointed you out earlier, said you’d be over to say hi,” T.J. said.

  Gerry nodded, still smiling. “She comes out most Fridays to see me play. Pretty good daughter, if you ask me.”

  She laughed. “I’m a damn good daughter.”

  “So how’s camp going?” Gerry asked.

  “Great. The kids are all doing really well.” He didn’t point out that his own nephew was the one exception to that statement. “Merry’s been a big asset. She’s really gifted with the kids, and the dogs.”

  “That she is.” Gerry nodded proudly in agreement. “You’re lucky to have her.”

  “All right, all right.” She elbowed her dad playfully. “Isn’t it almost time for you to play? Go break a leg, Dad.”

  “She says that every week. I keep telling her I’m getting too old for that kind of talk. Might actually happen.” His eyes twinkled in amusement.

  T.J. took an immediate liking to the man. “Looking forward to hearing you play.”

  “Hope you like it. Great meeting you.” He waved and headed back toward the stage, where the rest of the band had begun to assemble.

  “I can see why he named you Merry Joy,” he said.

  She nodded. “He’s a happy man, and he raised a happy daughter.”

  Overall that might be true, but he’d seen glimpses of something darker. Like a fool, he wanted to dig deeper, to know more than she’d ever want to share.

  They sat at the bar and polished off a few more beers, and when the band took the stage, he got up and danced with her. Or, at least, he gave it his best effort. He moved his feet to the beat while she danced in his arms.

  It was almost midnight by the time they made it back to her place, and he was damn near dying to get her upstairs and out of her clothes. Naturally the dogs had other ideas. They were ecstatic to finally have her home—with a visitor no less—and leaped and howled around the kitchen in delight.

  Merry let them out back, then pushed him against the wall and kissed him senseless. “You’re staying, right?”

  He didn’t need to hear that invitation twice. “Hell, yeah.”

  “Good.” She slid her hands down to pinch his ass, then tugged free. “I just need a few minutes with the dogs, then I’m all yours.”

  Damn dogs. His jeans were so tight he could barely walk, but he made it to the couch. Tonight was the first time he’d been inside Merry’s house. It seemed to suit her, small and homey with warm walls the color of terra-cotta and white lacy curtains.

  He sat there, trying and failing to think about anything other than how much he wanted the woman in the other room. He wanted to make love to her until the sun rose, until they’d forgotten their names and all the troubles they faced.

  Until they’d forgotten why this relationship would only last as long as his camp.

  And then she fell into his arms, and he forgot it all.

  * * *

  Merry woke to the warm caress of the sun. It streamed through the windows, bathing her and T.J. in its amber rays. He lay beside her, naked and asleep, half covered by the sheet, looking gloriously handsome in her bed. She ogled his abs and the one big, muscled leg that had come uncovered during the night.

  He’d kept her up pretty late screwing her brains out, and she’d loved every minute. She’d give him a few more minutes to sleep and recharge, then she’d see how he felt about morning sex. Something told her he’d be i
n favor.

  She rolled over with a happy sigh, feeling relaxed and peaceful. Then she looked down and saw the three sad faces gazing up at her from their dog beds on the floor. Oh yeah, they were pretty pissed at her for kicking them out of bed so she could enjoy some grown-up time with T.J.

  She stifled a laugh. They’d get over it. But if he slept over many more times, he’d learn to sleep amid a tangle of dogs, because she couldn’t kick them out forever.

  T.J. stirred behind her, and she rolled over on top of him.

  “Good morning,” she said between kisses.

  “Sure is.” He slid an arm around her, pulling her closer.

  The sheet had become tangled between them, but she felt him through it, already hard and ready for her. She rocked against him, and he groaned.

  God, he was gorgeous. Her body ached for him as red-hot desire washed all residual sleepiness from her brain. She moved against him, keeping the barrier of the sheet between them so that they didn’t rush. There was something special about morning sex, something more intimate about seeing a man when he was still groggy and rumpled from sleep.

  T.J.’s eyes were closed now, but he most definitely was not asleep. He was hard as steel beneath her, his hands gripping her ass as he moved her rhythmically against him, and oh sweet Jesus she was so close. Her body clenched in anticipation.

  “Wait,” she gasped. She’d meant for this to go slow.

  He squinted up at her with a smug smile. “Already? Jesus, you’re easy.”

  “Slow down. I want to wait for you.”

  “Oh, baby, nothing gets me hot faster than watching you come.” He slid her forward so that the head of his penis pressed against her through the sheet. He brought his hand between them and stroked her as his cock nudged, teasing, pushing against her until she came apart with one of the fiercest orgasms of her life.

  She bucked against him, half crazed with pleasure.

  “Goddamn.” His voice was hoarse, strained. “You slay me, woman, you know that?”

  She was still on top of him, feeling him pulse against her, his arousal fueled by her pleasure. “Now, T.J., please.”

  She tugged at the sheet, but he closed a hand over hers. “Not so fast. You said you wanted to take this slow.”

  “But you…”

  “I can wait,” he said as he flipped her easily beneath him, then proceeded to kiss and caress every inch of her until she was on fire for him all over again.

  Finally, he grabbed a condom he’d placed on the nightstand and covered himself. She gasped as he slid inside, holding still for a glorious moment as their bodies came together as he always did. But his control broke easily this time. He thrust into her hard and fast until another orgasm gripped her, and with a groan, he joined her.

  He poured himself into her, then withdrew with a muttered curse. He looked up at her, those gorgeous brown eyes drawn in concern. But she knew. She already knew, because she’d felt it too.

  The condom had broken.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  T.J. looked into Merry’s panic-stricken eyes. “I’m sorry.”

  His head spun. However many years he’d been having sex, he’d always used a condom and never had one fail. He wanted kids, but he wanted them with a woman who wanted to have his children, preferably his wife. And Merry wasn’t looking thrilled at the prospect.

  “It’s okay,” she said finally. “I’m on the pill.”

  Relief surged through him, and he flopped back against the pillow. “Really?”

  She nodded. “I like to have a backup plan in case, you know.”

  “Good. That’s good.” His heart rate gradually returned to normal. He leaned over to give her a kiss, then went into the bathroom to get rid of the busted condom.

  When he came back, Merry was up and dressed. She brushed past him on her way into the bathroom. Three dogs stared at him from beside the bed.

  He scowled at them. He’d almost forgotten they were there. It felt a little voyeuristic to think of them down there watching while he and Merry went at it in bed. As soon as he made the mistake of looking at them, the two puppies were up and lunging at him.

  “Whoa!” He pushed them away and grabbed for his pants before he suffered permanent damage.

  Chip grabbed one pant leg, while Salsa took the other, growling and tugging. Damn puppies.

  He managed to wrestle his jeans free and get them up and buttoned by the time Merry came out of the bathroom.

  “Come on, pups.” She herded them toward the stairs, keeping her back to him.

  He caught up to her at the back door and turned her toward him. She kept her eyes on the floor, her back stiff.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  She tugged free and went into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. “Nothing. You’ve never seen me in the morning before. I’m a zombie until I get some coffee.”

  “You didn’t seem too zombie-like a few minutes ago.”

  She gave him a half-smile. “Well, that’s good to know.”

  “Seriously, we’re okay, right? I’m clean if that’s what you’re worried about. I’ve never even had unprotected sex.”

  “Really? Never?”

  “Never.”

  She looked skeptical. “Not even when you were a horny teenager?”

  “Not even.” And never really thought much about it either, until now. Now that she’d put the notion in his head, all he could think about was how it might feel to be inside her, surrounded by her hot, wet heat without that barrier of latex. His dick hardened.

  “Well, I guess you’re a gentleman through and through then.” She patted his shoulder and turned to the cupboard to fetch two coffee mugs.

  He didn’t feel like a gentleman at the moment, but he’d work on it. He watched as she poured the coffee, then got out cream and sugar. She handed him a mug decorated with frolicking boxers.

  “Thanks.” He added some sugar and took a sip. Not bad. He took a few more swallows, letting the caffeine permeate his system.

  She opened the pantry and pulled out a container of blueberry mini-muffins. “Sorry, it’s all I have.”

  He grabbed one. “Looks better than what’s in my pantry.” He popped a bite of muffin in his mouth and chewed.

  Merry crossed her arms over her chest and studied her shoes. Awkward. But why?

  “I have to go out in a bit and run some errands,” she said. “And I want to check on Amber. She should be going into surgery soon. Will you go see Noah today?”

  “Planning to. Hoping you’ll come with me.”

  “Maybe you should talk to him first.” She turned away and went to get the dogs from the backyard.

  They blew into the kitchen like a hurricane. He lifted his coffee mug on reflex, getting it out of harm’s way. It was different with Amber. She tiptoed around the house so quietly he almost forgot she was there. These three? Total mayhem.

  Merry fed them, then turned to T.J. with apologetic eyes. “I, uh, hate to run you out, but…”

  “Errands?” He set his empty coffee mug on the counter.

  She was such a bad liar. She just wanted him out of the house. Either she was still freaked out about the condom thing or she just didn’t do the morning after very well.

  Either way, it was time for T.J. to hit the road. “All right then. I’ll call you in a little while when there’s news on Amber. And maybe we can ride over and see Noah this afternoon?”

  “Maybe.” Her tension was palpable now.

  He was getting a very uncomfortable feeling about this. “You going to see the fireworks tonight?”

  “What?”

  “It’s the Fourth of July, you know.”

  She stared at him blankly. “I completely forgot.”

  “Been a few years since I’ve gone downtown to see the fireworks. Want to go?”

  “We’ll see.”

  “I’ll call you.” He leaned in for a good-bye kiss, then headed for the door. He was going to see her later today whether she li
ked it or not, because she was worrying him the way she was acting right now.

  He found his truck parked a few houses down where Amy had dropped it off last night on her way into work. He climbed in and glanced at the backseat, grateful not to see any obvious signs of damage from the three dogs who’d occupied it during yesterday’s emergency.

  He cranked the engine and let it idle while he dialed David for an update on Amber.

  “She’s stable. Pretty bruised up, but lucky it’s nothing more than that. I’ll get started on the surgery to pin her leg in an hour or so.”

  “Thanks, David. Call me when you get out, okay?”

  His friend chuckled. “Will do. I hear you’re fostering this one. Merry can be pretty persuasive when she wants to be.”

  “No kidding.” He watched as she came down the driveway and hopped into her SUV.

  So she really did have an errand to run. Maybe he was wrong about her reaction, but no, she’d been acting weird since the condom broke. She was upset, and he felt like an ass for leaving her to deal with it alone, although he’d be damned if he knew what the alternative was. “I’ve got to run. Call when you can.”

  “Will do.”

  The CR-V backed out of the driveway and turned right, away from town. He didn’t make a conscious decision to follow her. He just pulled in behind her, figuring he was hard to miss in his big-ass truck.

  Merry followed Peachtree Lane to the end, then turned onto Route 221. She drove to the outskirts of town, then made a sharp right.

  T.J.’s blood ran cold. She’d just pulled into the Dogwood Community Cemetery.

  * * *

  Merry saw the truck turn into the lot and forced back the tears that had already pooled in her eyes. He shouldn’t be here. She’d realized peripherally that he was behind her on the road, but, shit, she had obviously not been thinking clearly.

  And there was nothing she could do about it now.

  He parked and got out of the truck, coming toward her with those dark eyes locked on her like lasers burning into her soul. She wrapped her arms around herself and lifted her chin. “Go away, T.J. I need to be alone right now.”

  He put his hands up. “I don’t mean to intrude. Just trying to figure out what’s going on here.”