by P. Jameson
She did owe him. Her life, in fact. But it was more than that. With Cael, she’d bow to him willingly. Because she loved him and wanted to give herself to him. It was submission at its purest. So he owned her, but she didn’t resent it. She wanted it.
He shook his head. “Never mind. We’ll straighten that out later. What do you want, Isa?”
“Now that Jax is gone, I’m fine with whatever I get.”
“See? That’s what I mean. You don’t desire anything. Your passion… where is it?” His eyes burned her. “You’ve been told no so many times, you’ve given up. And he still has control.”
God. He was right. The only thing she’d ever fought for was to keep the ones she loved safe, and to protect her womb. Now that there was no more threat, she was like a feather in the wind. She’d land wherever and be satisfied.
But what was so wrong with that?
“I don’t need much. I don’t see why that’s a problem.” She tilted her chin up.
Cael stood to add the last log to the fire. When he turned to her, his face had changed. There was a devious glow to his eyes. “But that’s my point, baby. I’m not talking about what you need. I’m talking about what you want.” His gaze prowled her body, and she struggled with the urge to squirm. He set her on fire with that look, but she couldn’t let him know it.
Standing, she moved to the kitchen. She’d wash the few dishes they’d used. Wipe down the counters. Anything to get her mind off of—
“I know it’s there, underneath all the shitty wasted years. Your passion. And you’re going to find it.”
She turned to stare at him.
“One day, you’re going to tell me what the fuck you want, and baby, I’m going to give it to you. And you’re going to let me, and it won’t be a favor. You won’t owe me. It’ll just be me, loving you, like before. And if we’re lucky, you’ll love me back.”
She braced herself on a chair back. Her wolf whimpered inside, wishing things could be right between her and Cael. Needing it to be. “I already love you. I don’t know what else to do.”
“Tell me what you want. For your life. For our young. Take back your power. What do you want?”
“I don’t know,” she shouted. The lie reverberated through the cabin. She knew exactly what she wanted. She just didn’t think she deserved it and didn’t have the spine to ask. Which made her even more worthless.
When did she become satisfied with being weak? The strength it took to survive all she’d been through was enormous. Mountains and oceans and universes enormous. But now, where was all that?
Sitting under a dog-pile of guilt and regret, slowly getting the life squashed out of it. That’s where.
Cael was quiet when he responded. “That’s what you’ve got to figure out. Who do you want to be now, Isa? When you can answer that, he loses.”
She took in a long breath. He was right. She needed to remember who she was. Needed to take control of herself, her life, her body. It was the only way the damage Jax caused would begin to truly heal.
She had to take back her power.
Now, if she could just figure out how.
“It’s getting late,” Cael said. “We should sleep.”
Besh nodded. “I’ll grab some more wood off the porch.”
“No, I’ll go.
Now was as good a time as ever to exert her power. “I want to. I need the air. And there’s no danger now that my heat is gone.”
He frowned, considering.
“It’s just the back porch, Cael.”
He went to the coat rack and grabbed her parka. “Here. It’s cold.”
Besh stood a little taller as she slipped the coat on. She’d figure this out. For the sake of her family, she’d be strong again.
She nodded at Cael before slipping quickly out the back door.
The air was so cold, it felt like breathing tiny razors. She needed it though. Like ice on a wound, it was good. She took a deep cleansing breath…
And then froze with fear as her mind registered the scent.
She opened her mouth to scream but it was too late. A gloved hand covered her face, jerking her backward into a hard, angry body.
“My little bitch went and got herself knocked up, I see.” Jax’s ghost-like voice in her ear was all her fears wrapped into a single sound. “It’s okay, mate. I’ll take care of that.”
She struggled against his grip, harder than she’d ever fought before. Her wolf—she—would never let him harm the young.
She kicked backwards hoping to land a blow to his shin, but instead, he lifted her off the ground. Clawing at his arm only seemed to excite him more, as he dragged her farther and farther away from the cabin. From safety.
Damn it.
Panic set it, and her struggle became desperately real. Her foot landed a kick to a mystery body part but it didn’t slow him down in the least. She’d never win against him. Not like this. She was out powered.
Besh went limp as she realized what she had to do, as she realized what she wanted.
She wanted to kill the bastard who’d tormented her for seventeen years. She didn’t want Vesh to do it, or even Cael. It had to be her.
She wanted a safe and happy life for her young. For her child to be cherished and never used.
She wanted to love Cael without guilt and regret getting in the way. To mate with him, bond with him fully. Like they should have done all those many years ago.
She wanted forever.
And Cael… Cael had given her the tools to make it happen.
Besh let Jax pull her deeper into the forest. It was a wholly different thing to bend to his will this time, knowing how this would all play out. The power was already transferring from his hands to hers.
In the next few minutes she’d have it all. And he’d have nothing. Not even the power to say sorry.
***
Cael stirred the fire while he waited for Isabesh to bring the wood. Their conversation left him unsatisfied, but his girl was strong. Always had been. She’d find her way out of this eventually, and when she did, he’d be right there.
He heard her moving on the porch, heard the logs. Hopefully she wasn’t carrying too much at a time.
He gave her another few minutes, but when she still hadn’t returned, he went to check on her.
Opening the back door, it took him less than a second to realize something was very, very wrong. Isabesh was nowhere to be seen, a random log had fallen off the stack, and the thing that made every hair on his body prickle with unease? The scent of an alpha who should be absolutely fucking dead.
Cael didn’t remove his clothes before he turned. The wolf wouldn’t wait and neither would he. Isabesh needed them now.
His body changed in an instant, becoming fur and instinct and raw power. Catching the trail of their scent was easy, and he took off in the direction of his mate. His mate. Oh yes, she was fucking his, intended or not.
Cael crossed the field, like an arrow aiming for the tree line. Just across the ridge, he took in the scene with fury tinged eyes. His mate was… was… aiming the .9 millimeter directly at Jax’s broad chest. Her hand was rock steady but tears streamed down her face.
“You took everything from me,” she screamed. “But I have more now than I ever could’ve imagined. And now… now I’m taking everything back.”
She was going to kill him. Isabesh was going to shoot him dead.
“You don’t have what it takes to win against me,” he sneered. “Not even with a gun. Bow, bitch. Or I’ll make this a million times worse on you.”
Wolf pawed at the ground. The desire to rip the fucker’s throat out was nearly unbearable. He wanted his revenge. He wanted to protect what was his. He wanted to save her. He wanted…
He wanted her to heal, and wolf recognized this was the way.
“Never. Again,” she ground out.
Before Cael could rethink the situation, he bolted forward, lunging at the disgusting piece-of-shit excuse for an alpha, dragging him t
o the forest floor. His teeth clamped down on the bastard’s throat drawing blood, but not ripping. Restraint had always been Cael’s strong point and right now, he was fucking glad he’d had so much practice at it.
Jax struggled, but wolf applied enough pressure to his trachea to make him docile. He was no more threatening than a fly.
Isabesh ran over, and Cael caught her eyes, conveying his message: this kill was hers. He’d always give her whatever she needed to be stronger. Whether it went against his instinct or not. He cared too much to worry with his ego.
She nodded, understanding, and he waited for her shot. His ears were going to hurt like hell, but he couldn’t care.
Jax snarled, trying to turn into his animal, but Cael had too tight a hold on his throat. He shifted slightly to the right, giving Isabesh room to get her shot off. Close range. It was a sure thing.
BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.
The sound exploded, causing Cael’s ears to buzz. He pulled back to find Jax stunned but not dead. She’d missed. On purpose.
Isabesh spat in his face, words being said, but not heard. But as soon as she turned to check on Cael, Jax’s wolf sprang forward, snarling, and snapping. Skin becoming fur, and fingers becoming claws.
Grip. Aim. Squeeze.
Her shot hit Jax in the ribs, and Cael clamped down on his throat again. This time, Isabesh unloaded the gun in the wolf’s head. A wound that wouldn’t heal.
Cael felt the alpha’s heartbeat slowing, slowing, slowing until it was no stronger than a thread. And it was done.
The threat eliminated.
Isabesh dropped the gun and backed away.
Several breaths later, Cael shifted, returning to his human state.
“Were you really going to let him live?” he asked skeptically.
She shook her head, wide-eyed. “No. I was going to let you kill him. I felt how bad you wanted to.”
He stepped closer to her. “I’m glad it was you.”
She nodded, her whole body shaking with excess adrenaline. “I did it,” she murmured. “I took back my power.”
Just before she sank to her knees, Cael swept her up and into his arms. He carried her over the ridge and across the field, never taking his eyes off her face.
Chapter Ten
Vesh and Avan had some fucking explaining to do. In the morning, Cael and Besh would head back toward an area where there was cell reception, and he’d call Lexar to pick them up. There was no reason to stay here any longer.
He’d find out why the Ozarka alpha was still wasting precious oxygen. But for tonight…
He set Isabesh down inside the small bathroom and reached in to turn on the shower. He didn’t waste any time getting her naked, pulling her sweatshirt over her head and untying her boots.
She didn’t say a word as he removed her jeans and pushed her under the spray of the water. He followed her into the shower, closing the door behind him.
Starting with her hair, he washed her, removing all traces of that bastard’s scent for fucking good. He tried to ignore what touching her body did to him. That is until a soft moan slipped from her lips.
He tilted her face up, brushing drops of water from her cheeks. “What do you want, my Isa?” His voice was harsh from the change, and from emotions that were running amok within him.
“I want to thank you for—”
Bullshit. He wouldn’t accept that.
Taking her face in both hands, he pressed his mouth to hers, prying her lips open to accept his tongue. Moaning at her taste, he backed her against the wall, dominating her in the most delicious way. But she gave as much as she took. Her tongue tangled with his, her teeth sucking and nipping at his bottom lip.
Fuck. A kiss had never felt so erotic.
He didn’t stop, he couldn’t, not even to say what he needed to say. His thumb moved to the corner of her mouth where he could feel their connection, the way they moved together, the press forward and the retreat. The licking and biting. The hot, sweet breath mixing.
He was dying. Happily fucking dying.
Isabesh’s hands twisted in his hair, pulling him closer. As if she wanted him to devour her. She wanted this. Whether she ever admitted it or not. But he needed her to admit it. Or, if nothing else, he needed to make himself clear.
With a growl, Cael broke away.
“See this?” He sucked gently on the bite mark he’d left when he claimed her. “This isn’t a fucking collar. This is a promise. From me to you, that I’ll never hurt you, not on purpose. That I’ll care for you always. A promise, Isa. Don’t you get it? I love what is mine. I care for what is mine. My pack, my female. My family. You don’t owe me anything. Not even an answer. But know, I’ll always keep you safe. Even when you don’t want me too. And if I never hear another fucking thank-you from you, it’ll be too soon.”
There was a grim set to her mouth. “I know what I want. Everything became very clear for me in the woods.”
“Tell me.” He held his breath for her answer, praying it was something that allowed them to move forward. Praying that it ended with her, finally and permanently in his arms.
“Forever. With you. That’s what I want.” Her lip trembled with vulnerability, pulling his chest tight around his heart. “And I want it more than anything.”
“Done fucking deal,” he breathed, lifting her and bracing her against the wall for his mouth. He kissed a burning hot trail from the corner of her mouth, down her jaw, nipping at the tender skin underneath her ear.
“Before I marked you, when was the last time you came?” His breath, hot against her neck, brought out delicious little chills that he traced with his tongue. “When, Isa? Tell me, now.”
“You,” she whimpered. “The last time was with you.”
He pulled back just enough to stare into her eyes. “Didn’t you ever touch yourself?”
“I didn’t want to. And I couldn’t risk Jax scenting it.”
“Your punishment,” he murmured. “You abstained as a punishment to yourself. Didn’t you?”
She hesitated. “Yes.”
“That stops now. You hear me? No more guilt between us.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
“I mean it, Isa. We start over right now and we go forever. Got it?”
“Yes.”
She stared at him with so much love in her eyes he thought he’d burst from it. A dam the size of Alaska couldn’t hold all the emotion she was projecting, and he felt so fucking lucky to be on the receiving end.
Oh yes, she wanted this. And he was going to give it to her gladly.
***
Besh held her breath as Cael slowly and deliberately ran his hands down her front until he’d reached her most tender spot. She was so aroused, she had to really focus to keep from rubbing herself against his fingers. She couldn’t ever remember feeling this turned on. Not even before, when he’d showed her how to make love. Not even when she was in heat.
“You’re soaking wet, baby.” His words came between clenched teeth. “I want to take you hard, but I won’t if you’re still sore.”
Have mercy. She shivered at his words.
“I’m not sore, but…”
He paused, finding her gaze. “What is it?”
If she was going to start living the life she wanted, the life she wanted to deserve, then she couldn’t hold back anymore.
“There’s something I’ve always wanted to try. But only with you.”
Cael’s eyes burned with lust and curiosity as his hand moved from between her legs to grip her hip. “What is it?”
“Me, on top.”
A hoarse rumble from the back of his throat told her he was on board with the idea. He reached over, turning the shower off. “Fuck, yes. But first…”
He lifted her to straddle his waist. Besh wound her arms around his neck, and his hands gripped her thighs as he carried her from the bathroom into the bedroom totally oblivious of the water they trailed through the hall.
She’d clean it up later. Rig
ht now, she needed—wanted—Cael more than she’d ever wanted anything.
He stared into her eyes as he walked, and his erection barely hitting her core drove her insane with want.
In the bedroom, he fell onto the bed, hovering over her so he wouldn’t crush her. His muscles bulged on his thick frame. He was pure raw power. Intimidating. Demanding. And yet…
He kissed her, his tongue dipping in for the briefest moment.
“I need to taste you, Isa.” His voice was a tortured plea. “Let me?”
Her heart grew ten sizes at his consideration. He knew things were still raw inside, emotionally. The wounds of her life hadn’t yet formed scars. And even overcome with desire, he cared enough to make sure she was right there with him.
And she was. God, she was.
“You never have to ask,” she whispered. “I’m yours. Because I want to be.”
His eyes softened. “You amaze me.” Cael nuzzled her neck, kissing softly. “Simply amaze me.”
Besh’s eyes fluttered closed as she tipped her head back, giving him better access. His hand came up to cover her breast, kneading and teasing her nipple. He kissed his way down her body until he reached her other breast, giving that one attention using his hot mouth.
She moaned when his lips closed around the tightened tip, arching her back for more. His hand slipped around behind her crushing her closer to his kiss. She bucked her hips, instinctively, needing some relief from the delicious ache between her legs.
“Not yet, Isa,” he murmured. “I’m taking my time with you.”
At a torturous pace, he teased his way over her body, nipping at her ribs, dragging his lips along her belly.
“Your skin is delicious,” he rasped.
Her fingers dug into his shoulders. She bit her lip so she wouldn’t cry out.
Cael moved lower, running his nose slowly along the crease of her thigh. “Your scent, baby… fuck.”
He spread her legs wide and sat back to look at her. His heated gaze, as he zeroed in on her core, set her on fire. Cael licked his lips with single-minded focus. He flicked his eyes to hers once before he dove in for a taste.
The first lick was a shock to her system. She let out a strangled gasp. But he didn’t stop. With one hand flat on her stomach and the other spreading her wide for his mouth, he worked his tongue against her folds. First softly, then relentlessly.
