by James, Honor
“And what of Raphael and Gabriel? Would you rip their hearts out for looking at my legs?” she teased with a smile. “Because I would very much enjoy having them looking at me as well.” Her admission made her cheeks burn, but it was a true admission all the same.
“No, they I would not eviscerate. They are pack and my seconds. They will also be bonding with you as well and be a very important part of our lives. Anyone else will meet my other half, and he is extremely temperamental,” he told her.
“It’s a very good thing that I love all of you, isn’t it?” Rissa pressed a kiss to the side of his neck and simply held onto him as she did so. Her hands slipped into his cloak and then under his tunic to rest against his flesh, which caused her to sigh. “Perfect,” she breathed quietly.
His large body shuddered as he growled deep. “Rissa, behave yourself, woman.” Putting a hand over hers, he looked over his shoulder to her. “You are too tempting by half, and such actions will find you in trouble.”
“Or it will find us both where we want to be,” she shot back at him. “Besides, I just wanted to touch you, skin to skin, Michael. I love to feel your skin against mine. It solidifies in my mind that you are truly here with me. You have finally come home.”
“As long as you leave your dainty little fingers where right where they are. But you move your hands, and what happens after will be on your head.” Moving his hand away, he faced forward again, muttering under his breath.
“You make me want to move my hands,” Rissa confessed. “Make me want to shift them, move them, and see just what happens if I touched you in places far lower. Places where I ache and long to touch you. However, I won’t because I know that it’s too dangerous to do anything right at the moment with the men chasing us, but soon I will. Soon I will pick up that gauntlet where you tossed it, Michael.”
Growling deep, he shook his head. “Woman, you really love to play with fire don’t you? I will make you a promise if you behave until we get where we are going. When we are safely ensconced in a room all to ourselves I will let you do whatever you wish. I will even keep my hands to myself for however long you want, but no more than an hour.”
“And if I don’t want you to keep your hands to yourself? Because I don’t. I want you to touch me as well. I want to feel your hands on me, skin to skin, as well please,” she asked him softly. “I want to know what it will be between us.”
“Then I will touch you as well,” he said quietly. “All you ever need to do is ask, Rissa, and if it is in my power to give it to you, I will. Without question, without fail,” he told her as he turned his head to look at her again.
“And that makes me so happy,” she told him with a smile. “I want that very much, Michael, and the same goes with you. If you want to touch me, I want you to simply say so. If you want me to touch you, I want you to say so. I always want to feel you, to know that you want to feel me as well please?”
Grunting, he gave a nod after a moment. “Deal.” Riding for a time in silence, he stopped them at a crossroad. For a time he just looked around before taking them down the left path. “Will you be all right if we speed up a bit to a gallop?” he asked. “I’d like to cover a bit more ground, and this beast is fighting my tight hold on the reins.”
“Of course I will. I have you to hold onto.” She closed her eyes and gulped. Her stomach was upset, but she ignored it and breathed in the clean scent of Michael, the scent of woodland pine, leather, and man. She shifted slightly and held on as the horse began to go faster.
Letting the destrier take an easy, smooth gallop, Michael dropped a hand to her leg. “Are you okay, Rissa?” he asked, rubbing his thumb over her thigh gently. “I’ll only keep this up for a little while, let him stretch his legs and then we’ll slow. But if it’s too much, just say the word and we’ll go back to a walk.”
“I will be fine, Michael. You know how I am with horses and riding.” She could ride in a carriage, but in the open on horseback, she seemed to get a little ill to her stomach. “I’m good as long as I’m right here with you. As long as I can touch you and smell you, I am good.”
“I wouldn’t inhale too deeply. I didn’t exactly have time to wash more than my face this morning.” His thumb kept up a smooth rubbing motion on her leg as they rode along. The silence was comfortable, relaxed, even though she was a little tense on the horse.
“I don’t mind,” she admitted. “I love the way that you smell, Michael,” she said softly. “I really love the honest smell of you. I really don’t mind having you close to me with your lack of bathing because honestly I love the way that you smell.”
“You say that after a day, but after a couple you may quickly change your mind. Or trip me into a body of water,” he said with a low rumble of sound, not quite a growl, not quite a laugh. “Though, we will be stopping at a place where we can both partake of a bath later today.”
“That sounds wonderful. I would love to bathe.” She had found she loved being in water. While most of her family had only bathed once a month at most, she found herself wishing to bathe far more often than that.
“Then we will get some distance between us and everyone else and take a couple hours,” he told her, squeezing her leg. Turning to look at her, he smiled slightly. “We can lie in the sun and dry ourselves so we don’t need to get our clothing wet.”
“Sounds as if you have done that before. I really love that we have the chance of having some time in the sun lazing about and doing nothing more than simply drying, and that’s something that I love about you, Michael.”
“I have done it often.” He nodded. “You almost caught me a dozen or more times while I was Captain of the Guard. The pond down at the edge of the formal grounds, in that grove. Where the little yellow flowers grow, you remember it.”
“I do, that’s where I began to bathe as well. I think that the guards began to fan out and protect me and my maid from an early age. Was that your doing as well?” It had kept her and her maid safe, but kept the men from seeing them as well, so that was all the better.
“Everything the guards did back then was by my order,” he said softly. “I had an idea of why you were going there, and while I had to have you protected, I didn’t want any of them seeing you. Only Raphael and Gabriel ever knew the true reason for the orders I gave. They felt the same and would have done the same if they’d been in my position.”
“The three of you took turns in keeping me safe, didn’t you? The eyes I felt from time to time were the three of you, perhaps, looking at me?” Not that she minded. She actually loved it. “I kind of liked it, a lot. Feeling your eyes on me.”
“We all watched over you, yes.” He nodded. “Not because it was our duty but because we had to protect you. We knew who you were right at the beginning, Rissa. We could do no other than to protect the woman that would be ours when she was old enough.”
That had Rissa smiling, and she nodded. “Good,” she said with a happy smile. “I love you, too. I care for all three of you, and I need all three of you in my life. I’m glad that you all feel the same for me. It is as it should be, right?”
“It is. For if you didn’t feel the same, it would be a long, miserable life for us three. Once we recognize the woman that is to be our mate, we can’t ever be happy with another. Some can find a form of comfort with a woman not their mate, but never true happiness or love.”
“Well I don’t want you to find comfort with anyone other than me. I want to be yours and want you to be mine and only mine. I need that promise,” she said softly. “We will find a way to have a life together, right?”
“You already have my promise, Rissa. You’ve had it since the day I gave you that pendant, even if you didn’t know it then. We will find a way, whether with assistance or under our own power.” Slowing the horse, he turned slightly in the saddle and her arms to look at her. “When we stop, I need to tell you why I left, Rissa,” he said softly.
“I would like that, Michael. I very much would like to kn
ow why you left me,” she whispered softly. “I know that we will find a way. We will find a way because we have waited for far too long to be together. It’s what we deserve. We deserve being together once more. We deserve happiness don’t we?”
“You, more than any other, deserve happiness,” he said, settling back in the saddle to face forward. “I didn’t want to leave you, Rissa, but I had to leave the palace. If I could have taken you with me then and there, I would have. But you were not yet grown into a woman. You needed that time to grow into who you are now.”
“And now I am that woman. Now I am fully grown. Now I’m ready to have you inside of my life. I am ready to have you three in my lives. I hated you for a long time. I resented you leaving me. I really did. I didn’t understand it at all. I didn’t understand you leaving me at all. All I knew was that you had left me.”
“Understandable,” he murmured. “I’d have been surprised if you hadn’t hated me at least on some level. Will we be able to get beyond that, Rissa?” He looked back at her. “Do you still have that anger inside for me because of my departure?”
“No. I gave up the anger long ago, Michael. Instead, it was hurt, so once you heal that hurt we will be fine. You are healing it already. Just coming back into my life was enough to make a great deal of it go away. Never leave me again, though,” she said firmly but softly. “I don’t think that I could survive losing you a second time.”
Nodding, he faced forward again as they rode along.
Chapter Seven
Taking a deep breath, he suddenly reined in hard. “Shh,” he said, holding up a hand. Turning his nose up to the breeze, he inhaled deeply. “Fires. Not the sort for cooking, either. Someone has set fire to a building in the forests.”
“There are no buildings in the forest,” Rissa whispered and then bit her lower lip. “Except for Grandmother’s home. She loves the forest and hates being out of it. But we aren’t that close to her, are we?” No, no one would have hurt her grandmother. People were far too afraid of her to hurt her.
“No, we are still two days’ ride from her home. There are other buildings, hunters, cabins, and lean-tos for travelers to use for a night of rest. Most don’t know of them since the knowledge is only passed among those that reside in the forest. Normally I’d say we should go and check, but it’s too far back along the path and in the wrong direction. Plus, I believe it might be a tactic to find us.”
“Are they setting fire to these places because they think we will use them along the way?” No one would ever expect a Princess of the Realm to sleep on the ground in a cave, after all. “Isn’t that dangerous? To the forests?” She was worried for the forests, for the animals that were innocent inside of them.
“We’ve had enough rain that the fires shouldn’t spread without help. If it is not accidental in nature, then it is likely them cutting our options. If it is them”—Michael let out a breath—“then they already know that you’re not with the convoy.”
She shivered and bit her lower lip. “And if they do know that? What happens then? If they truly know that I’m not there, then are they looking for me? Are they looking for you? No, they couldn’t have known that it was you that came out to help me.”
“They won’t know about me. I dispatched the three that attacked the convoy initially. No, they will assume that you are on your own, under orders from your guard to travel hard and fast. To not stop, and get to your grandmother’s. That is likely why they are burning the buildings, if it is them. They will believe you know nothing of survival in the forests and therefore will need places to stop and rest.”
“Then they are more the fool. I might not be of the woods as you and the others are, but I’m not totally hopeless.” All right, so she did get lost like crazy, but if she were lost she still knew what to do in order to survive.
“If they only knew you, they’d have been searching inside a mile radius in a big circle,” he said with a chuckle. Looking over at her, he lifted a brow. “Because we both know you start off all right, but after a time you just get wandering around in large loops.”
“I know.” She pressed her forehead to his back and shook her head with a smile. “I can’t seem to help it. I know that I’m a failure on so many levels, but I’m a success on others. I’m alive, and you are back in my life, so those are two very successful things.”
Turning, he slid his arm around her waist and pulled her close. “You are not a failure at anything, Rissa. I’ve never seen anyone, man, woman, or child, try as hard as you did and do. You may not always be successful, and you have a terrible sense of direction, but you are not a failure. Never say so again.”
Ducking her head, she nodded. “Have I mentioned how very much that I adore you? How happy that I am that you are in my life? I am. I love you so very much, Michael. I do try. I always have. It’s something that was bred into me, I believe.”
Pressing a kiss to her nose, Michael let out a breath. “Well, I happen to like you as you are. So whatever it is, leave it be, but never say you are a failure. You try so many things and some you can’t do, but I can’t do everything either, Rissa. Would you call me a failure?”
“Good heavens no. Michael, you are anything but a failure,” Rissa said softly. “Why would you even ask that question of me?” He was strong, sure, and determined. He was hers, and she refused to allow anyone to make him out to be less than he was, even himself.
“Then how do you call yourself a failure when you wouldn’t call me the same?” he asked quietly. “I’ve done a lot more wrong than you could ever do, Rissa, many things I’ve wished I could take back but can’t.”
“I don’t understand.” Michael wasn’t a failure. He never did anything wrong. Did he? “Well, no matter what, you are coupled with me for the rest of our lives, so failure or not, we fit, don’t we?” She fit him, and he her.
“That we do,” he murmured. Brushing his lips to hers, he leaned back. “We need to go, gain some distance or we won’t have that bath.” Pulling his arm from around her, he turned in the saddle. “Hold on,” he said, tapping his heels to the horse’s flanks.
Rissa did just that. She held onto him and buried her face against his back once more. The wild scents rolling off of him wrapped around her, tried to calm and ease her body, and they did. Somewhat. After some time riding she felt them slowing, and the urge to be ill was far too close to the surface. “Please, I need down.” Before she got both of them and the horse messy with her sick.
Pulling on the reins, his hand went to her arm and helped her slide off the horse. “Rissa, are you all right?” he asked as he slid down and followed her. “Rissa.” His voice was right behind her. “Rissa, where are you going so quickly?”
Dropping to her knees, Rissa’s stomach emptied into the bushes. Shaking her head, she held her hand out to him. “Please, no closer,” she requested softly. “I just need another moment.” It was humiliating to be ill in front of one of the men she loved utterly and completely. However, it simply was what it was and she couldn’t stop it. After several minutes, she accepted his touch, leaned into him, and let him pull her to her feet. Turning, she pressed her face against his chest and shivered. “I truly hate riding on horseback for long periods of time. I’m sorry.”
Kneeling at her side, he gathered her hair up into his hands. “I’m sorry,” he murmured quietly. “I should have realized, Rissa. I am so sorry I didn’t stop sooner.” Stroking a hand up and down her arm lightly, he waited until she finished before passing her a water skin. “Rinse your mouth out a few times and then drink some. We’ll walk the rest of the way to the pond.”
“Thank you. It’s not your fault. I could have told you at any time, but honestly I was enjoying being able to have my arms around you far too much to complain. I only did when I did because I knew that I couldn’t stand another moment. For that I’m sorry.”
“This is not your fault in the least, Rissa,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to her temple. Taking the skin from her, he stood and
pulled her to her feet. “Come, we’ll walk slowly for a little distance and we’ll be at the pond. We can bathe, and hopefully you’ll feel well enough to walk toward another cave I know of.”
“I will be fine. Walking does me a great deal of good, and to be able to bathe would be a wonderful treat that will make me feel even better,” she whispered with a smile. “So yes, let’s walk slowly so that we can go to the pond and bathe.” To be able to see his body, touch his body, and feel him touching her, the thoughts of what was to come were enough to make her shake off the last vestiges of her illness and able to walk a little straighter.
Waving a hand toward the path, he went to collect the destrier where he was grazing. Gathering the reins, he joined her so they could start their walk. Putting a hand on her back, a light weight at her waist, he kept to the slow pace she’d chosen.
“Am I at least going in the right direction?” she asked him suddenly, pausing as she looked around them and was utterly lost. “Because I have to tell you, I’ve no idea where the heck we are right now, Michael.”
“We are going the right way, Princess, just stay on the path. When we need to veer off, I will tell you,” he said softly. “You are doing well. Trust in your instincts, little one. It’s only when you start to question yourself that you lose your train of thought and end up lost.”
“You do know me so very well,” she murmured softly. “You have a gift. You’ve always understood me, even when I didn’t understand myself. You are truly a wonder, Michael.” He knew what she needed and when she needed it, and for that, she was grateful.
“Hardly that, Princess,” he said quietly. “I just pay attention to certain things and people. It was my job to anticipate for a number of years, if you recall. You were very open in your wants and needs as a child, made my job extremely easy. Only once you were into your middle years did you get a little harder to predict, and very moody as well, now that I think back.”
