The Butterfly Box_A SASS Anthology

by Anthology

  As soon as Parker lays eyes on me I can see him visibly relax. I take in his appearance as he strides toward the hospital bed. He has dark circles under his eyes and he looks like he hasn’t showered or shaved in days. Has he been sitting here with me the entire time?

  “Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?” he asks as he slides into the seat beside my bed.

  I open my mouth to defend myself. It wasn’t really his business that I was sick. But more than that, I didn’t want him to ditch me the way Nate had.

  “No.” He fixes me with a stern look. “There’s no excuse for this, Amie. If I had known how serious this could get, I would’ve dragged your cute ass to the doctor at the first sign of that cough. You could’ve died. If I hadn’t checked on you when I did…” he trails off, the implication of his words hanging in the air between us.

  “Nate left,” I manage to whisper.

  Parker’s brow furrows and then his expression changes from confused to murderous.

  “That bastard dumped you because you were sick?”

  I nod and duck my head to avoid his gaze. He reaches out and gently tilts my face upward so I meet his gaze.

  “Dude’s a fucking idiot. And guess who comes out the winner here?” A crooked smile plays at the corners of his beautiful lips. “I do. I am the lucky bastard who gets to take care of you while you’re in the hospital. But when we get you back home, don’t think for one second I’m going to go easy on you.”

  Hope blooms in my chest.

  “Now can you tell me what the deal is here, babe? It’d be great to know what we’re actually dealing with.”

  I sigh and point at the notepad on the bedside table. There’s no way I will be able to get my voice to cooperate long enough to explain my diagnosis.

  He hands me the paper and I quickly begin to write.

  I have an autoimmune disease called Wegener's Granulomatosis. Basically, my kidneys are fucked and my immune system is non-existent. If I get so much as a common cold it could be lights out, as I have so aptly demonstrated for you. If the sniffles don’t kill me, I’ll need a kidney transplant in 5-10 years. The most optimistic estimate I have is 15 years to live.

  “Can I ask how you got it?”

  It’s just one of those exciting things in life that can just happen. Thanks physiology! Basically some sort of minor inflammatory response in my body (could have been literally anything) caused my immune system to react, and then it just kept reacting. So when my immune system didn’t have any other pathogens to attack it turned on my own body. My lungs and my kidneys got the worst of the damage before I was hospitalized. So now I’m on high doses of steroids that are hell on my liver and kidneys, but not as bad as the disease.

  Parker reads my words and his expression turns to one of determination. “To be honest I’m kind of relieved. All the crazy shit you’ve been pulling lately is understandable given the circumstances.”

  You’re relieved that I’m dying?

  I scowl as I shove the words towards him. Parker gives me a stern look in return.

  “You’re not dying,” he contradicts.

  How am I not dying? I roll my eyes at him for emphasis.

  “Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. Here’s what we’re going to do: First, you’re not going to pull any more of this ‘toughing it out’ shit. Second, we’re not going to stress about all that mess down the road. Shit, in ten years they’re going to have this 3D printed organ stuff in the bag and you’ll get a brand new kidney of your own in full working order. I’d bet money that you’re going to end up outliving my hard drinking, reckless ass. And, third, you’re going to let me take you on a proper date as soon as you’re out of this hospital bed because I’ve waited too goddamn long to ask you out and I’m not wasting any more time.”

  Because I’m dying?

  “You’re not dying. I’m not wasting any more time because I’ve been an idiot too damn long. I should’ve asked you out the first day we met.”

  Why didn’t you?

  “Because I thought it would be weird being neighbors if things didn’t work out.”

  But what if things don’t work out?

  “Don’t talk crazy.” Parker leans forward and kisses my forehead tenderly. My heart flutters at the gesture. If I don’t die from pneumonia, I am going to fuck him stupid.

  IF I NEVER have to see the inside of a hospital room again, it’ll be too soon. I squirm around in the sandpaper sheets trying to get comfortable and flip through the shitty basic cable channels trying to entertain myself. It’s only been two days since I woke up here, but it feels like an eternity.

  Parker tried to call in for his shift but I insisted that he go. Sitting around here with me is about as exciting as watching paint dry. Not like him being here is going to cure my pneumonia any faster. Don’t get me wrong, I wish he was here. But I get the feeling this is going to become a familiar scene for us, if he’s serious about getting serious. I can’t have him fucking off work every time I get the sniffles for the rest of our lives.

  The rest of our lives.

  Is it possible he really meant everything he said? We haven’t even had a date yet, but he certainly wasn’t talking about us in casual terms.

  The door swings open pulling me from my thoughts. Parker walks in with a duffle bag in tow.

  “Moving in?” I joke, eyeing the bag.

  “Ha-ha. No, smartass.” He kisses my cheek and plops the bag at the foot of the bed. “I brought stuff for you.”

  “What kind of stuff?”

  “Stuff to keep you from going stir crazy.”

  Parker opens the bag to reveal a bunch of DVDs, my laptop, his PS4, and my Kindle.

  “You thought of everything.”

  “Well, not everything. I didn’t think the hospital would take kindly to me bringing the vibrator from your nightstand,” Parker teases. I feel the heat rise in my cheeks.

  “You were snooping?”

  “Not snooping. I was looking for your Kindle. But trust me I was very interested in what I found instead. You’ll have to show me how that bad boy works once we get you home.” He winks and I try to act irritated with him, but I’m pretty sure he can tell I like the idea as much as he does.

  Parker pops in a movie and settles into the chair next to my bed and then my doctor walks in.

  “Sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to go over your lab work. Your kidney values are declining more quickly than we would expect. Can I assume you haven’t been keeping to your kidney diet?”

  “Busted.”

  “Don’t worry, doctor. Amie is going to stick to her kidney diet from here on out,” Parker says, fixing me with a stern look, daring me to argue.

  “I’m pleased with how the antibiotics are working on the pneumonia so far. I’m hopeful we’ll be able to have you out of here in a week if things progress as I’d like them to.”

  Once the doctor leaves Parker pulls out a notebook, pen, and my laptop.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Researching kidney diets.”

  My stomach flutters and a lump forms in my throat.

  “Why are you doing this?”

  Parker looks up from the computer with a confused look on his face.

  “Nate and I were supposed to get married, but he still ditched me without a backward glance. Why don’t you find a beautiful, healthy woman who you can build a life with, have babies with? I’m deadweight, Parker.” My voice breaks on the last sentence.

  Parker’s confused look turns stern. He sets the laptop down then eases into the bed beside me. Hot tears are streaming silently down my cheeks.

  “Just because we haven’t had our first date yet, doesn’t mean I’m not emotionally invested. I’ve wanted you since the first day we met. And I don’t just mean sexually, although I did get an impressive erection seeing your ass hanging out of your shorts while you tried to gather up your fallen stuff. But that night when we hung out and had pizza, you were so fun and cool. You weren’t like any other woman I�
�ve ever met. And the more I got to know you the more I wanted you. That was why Kristen left me. She could see that my heart was already set on you. I already told you that we’ll figure out all this stuff with your illness. This isn’t a fling for me.”

  I nod wordlessly because there’s no way I can speak right now. But to show him that I’m as serious about us as he is I wrap my arms around his middle and hold him like he’s a port in the storm. I guess for me, he is.

  “Are you going to make me sell my car?”

  Parker’s chest vibrates with laughter against my cheek.

  “I figured you already knew this about me, but I’m not the type of guy who’s going to tell you what you should do. Your health being the only exception, of course. If you want to keep your new car we can figure out the payments on it.”

  I let out a long sigh.

  “I should see if I can trade it in for something more reasonable. You know, if I’m not dying next week I should probably get back to focusing on long term financial planning.”

  Parker’s response is a brief kiss on the top of my head.

  “I HAD THIS idea last night while I was lying in bed.” Parker pulls out a notebook and a pen, making himself comfortable in the chair beside my hospital bed.

  “Are you going to draw me like one of your French girls?” I tease, posing dramatically for him.

  “No, smartass. We’re going to make a list of things we want to do.”

  “Ugh, like a bucket list?” my nose scrunches in distaste.

  “I was never really a fan of that phrasing. You don’t have to be dying to make a list of things you want to do in life. In fact, maybe everyone should have a list. Just to make sure they don’t waste what little time we all have.”

  “Fine. What do you want to call it then if not a bucket list?”

  “How about a ‘fuck it’ list. A list of things that people might ask ‘is that a good idea?’ and you’d be like ‘fuck it, it sounds awesome so I’m doing it’.”

  I laugh until I start coughing and then Parker rubs my back until I can breathe normally again.

  “You’re going to kill me with your eloquence,” I tease once I’ve caught my breath.

  “Not all of us are doctors, live with it.”

  “That’s alright, I kind of have a thing for firemen.”

  “All firemen or maybe just one in particular?” Parker’s face lights up with a flash of hope as he asks his question.

  “I’m pretty sweet on one in particular.”

  “Good to know. Now let’s get to work on our list.”

  All told we end up with fifteen items on our ‘fuck it’ list. Between the two of us we come up with things from skydiving to seeing the Eiffel Tower. There are some interesting naughty, naked things on there that make me flush with excitement and make me wish I wasn’t stuck in the hospital for God knows how long.

  Once we’re done I let out a long sigh, knowing that there’s one thing I need to do, that wasn’t on the list.

  “I’ve gotta call Billie and make things right.”

  Parker nods in agreement and laces our fingers together in a show of support.

  “Want me to stick around while you call or give you some space?”

  “Stay, please,” I say firmly as I reach for my cellphone with shaky hands. What if she hates me forever? What if she won’t even talk to me after the way I behaved a few weeks ago when she was here. I take a deep breath and click on her picture in my contact list.

  My heart pounds as the phone rings.

  Billie answers on the fourth ring with a cool detachment in her voice.

  “Billie, I’m so sorry. Do you have a few minutes so I can properly explain why I was such a twat waffle when you were here?”

  She laughs and seems to thaw a bit toward me.

  “Of course.”

  “This isn’t easy for me to say.” I take another painful deep breath and feel Parker’s hand on mine, giving me strength. “I’m dying.”

  Billie gasps on the other end of the phone. Parker lets out a deep growl of disapproval at my word choice.

  “Sorry, that sounds so dramatic when I say it like that. I mean, it is dramatic. But I probably won’t die next week or anything,” I start to ramble.

  “Okay, please just cut the sugar coating crap if that’s what you’re trying to do. Just give me the straight medical facts, please.”

  Not going to lie, it’s nice to have friends with medical degrees who can understand all of the technical jargon I start to throw around. Not that I would trade my sexy fireman for a doctor any day of the week.

  Once I’m done explaining to Billie the specifics of my autoimmune disease and the status of my kidney function, she seems to breathe a sigh of relief.

  “Okay, so as long as you aren’t a dumbass about your diet and you’re super careful about illnesses you’re going to be all right for a long time still. Don’t you dare scare me like that again, making it sound like you’re on your deathbed.”

  “Well, I kind of am at the moment. I’m in the hospital with pneumonia,” I admit. “I’m scared that I won’t be able to keep working at the zoo.”

  “If you use all the proper PPE at work it shouldn’t be an issue, Ames. Maybe take a step back if necessary and let your technician take the reins a little more on the things that put you at higher risk. That’s what technicians are trained for.”

  “You’re right,” I agree, letting a tear of relief streak down my cheek. Billie’s still Billie no matter how much I fucked up. Maybe things can be all right after all. Maybe I don’t have to roll over and resign myself to dying just yet.

  “Okay, now do you have a second for me to tell you about a crisis I’m going through?”

  “Of course.”

  “So you know that new band that’s getting pretty popular, Downward Spiral?” Billie says.

  “Oh my gosh, yeah, I never told you—”

  “Wait, let me say this first,” Billie cuts me off. “The drummer, Dawson Hayes, is my Dawson.”

  I gasp at Billie’s revelation and tap on Parker’s arm to make sure he hears the recap I’m about to give for his benefit.

  “You’re telling me that Dawson Hayes, from Downward Spiral, is your childhood best friend who you fell in love with and then ghosted on without a word after the first and only time you two had sex?”

  Parker nearly falls out of his chair, and I’m trying not to let the mirth be noticeable in my voice. My brain is already devising rom com worthy scenarios I can concoct to get those two back together.

  “Yes. I’m with Travis now and I’m happy,” the tone in her voice is anything but happy, “I guess seeing his face again after all these years brought a lot of unresolved emotions back up for me.”

  Before I can decide if I should tell Billie that I know Dawson the nurse comes in for my vitals check.

  “Can I call you back, love? I have to be poked and prodded by a nurse really quick.”

  “Sure, I love you. Feel better.”

  “That’s crazy,” Parker says as soon as I hang up the phone. “We have to tell them. I mean, they’ll end up meeting at our wedding anyway, but that might get tense.”

  “Our wedding?” I nearly shriek.

  Parker gives me a cheeky grin and leans forward to kiss my cheek.

  “Get better first so we can have our first date, then we’ll talk China patterns.”

  I feel bad for the nurse trying to get my vitals while I’m hyperventilating.

  I MAKE MY way to Amie’s hospital room with a bouquet of wildflowers. Today is the day she’s being discharged. Which means tonight I get to take her on our first date. My heart thunders with excitement. It feels like today is the first day of the rest of my life. A life I have every intention of sharing with Amie.

  I reach her room just as the nurse is finishing up lecturing Amie about sticking to her kidney diet and to call her doctor at the first sign of absolutely any illness.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure she behaves.�
�� I sidle up beside Amie and hand her the flowers along with a kiss on the cheek. The nurse gives me a look that clearly says ‘I wish I had a sweet man like you in my life’.

  “Get me the hell out of here, please. I need a real shower and a real bed immediately.”

  “You got it, babe, let’s go.” I offer her my hand and she takes it readily.

  AFTER A STEAMING hot shower and a long nap in my own bed I’m actually feeling human again. The excited butterflies in my stomach as I get ready for my date with Parker are a welcome feeling. I never expected I’d get to feel this way again. I thought my life was already over.

  At seven o’clock sharp there’s a knock on my door.

  I open my door and catch sight of Parker standing there in a pair of pressed khakis and a nice shirt, a vibrant smile on his lips.

  “You sure clean up nice.” I reach out and pretend to smooth his shirt, simply so I have an

  excuse to cop a feel of his strong chest.

  “And you look way too good for me,” Parker says, his eye roaming over my body. “Ready to go?”

  “Yeah, but there’s one thing I need to do first.” Before he can respond I press myself

  against him and pull his lips down to meet mine. His kiss is tentative at first, following my lead but not taking control. But after a few seconds his brain seems to catch up to his body and his arms wrap around my waist. Parker pulls me flush against his chest and deepens the kiss until I’m tingling from head to toe.

  “Sorry I would’ve done that sooner, but I wasn’t sure if I could. You know, I didn’t know with your immune system and all if it was allowed.”

  My mouth falls open in shock.

  “You’re telling me you’ve basically been pledging your undying love to me, thinking we’d never even get to bone?”

  “Hey, I haven’t pledged my undying love to you…yet,” he protests in a teasing tone, his arms remaining firmly around my waist.