Alex shivered with awareness and unfulfilled need. Pushing away from the fence, she walked unsteadily towards the house, all too conscious of the yearning ache inside her, the constant throb, the way her nipples had tightened and felt unusually sensitive as they’d brushed against the lacy fabric of her bra. She had wanted his hands there, better still his mouth. She had wanted to feel him everywhere.
Sitting in the kitchen, she buried her heated face in her hands and moaned. She had the sense that, if Kyle was ever shaken out of his rigid control and let down his guard, the outpouring of all that buried energy and need would be shockingly overwhelming and scarily exciting. Untamed sexuality let off the leash. She’d like to find out for herself just how magical it would be with him but she knew she never would. Kyle had brought out a hidden side of her—demanding, needy—but he had been horrified by it and hadn’t been able to wait to get away from her.
How was she ever going to face him again?
CHAPTER SEVEN
‘I HAD all kinds of plans for my career and where I wanted to be in my life now. I never imagined it would be here, caring full-time for my mother,’ John Harrison explained as the kettle boiled. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I love her and I want to care for her, but there are times I feel so angry and resentful and trapped. Then I feel guilty.’
Alexandra accepted the cup of tea John handed her and waited for him to join her at the breakfast bar in his mother’s spacious kitchen. ‘Being a carer is a very difficult job, and one that is often unrecognised and unappreciated. It’s natural to feel as you do—I see many people who say the same, and often the role creeps up on you unexpectedly. We do the best we can with the cards dealt to us.’ She thought not only of John and her other patients but also of Kyle and of herself and the way life had a habit of changing beyond one’s control—closing some doors, taking away dreams and hopes, but also opening up others and offering the promise of new opportunities.
‘She used to be so active. It’s horrible seeing how this osteoporosis has crippled her.’
‘I know. Life is very cruel sometimes. Tell me what you originally planned to do,’ she encouraged him, resisting the urge to glance at her watch. She knew how late she was, but she sensed John needed this time to let off steam, and listened as he explained the dreams he had been forced to forgo as Libby’s illness had taken hold and left her chronically disabled and in pain.
‘I doubt I’ll ever get to do any of it now.’ John’s smile was sad. ‘So many others will be years ahead of me if and when I ever get back out there again.’
‘Have you considered doing some study at home? You can fit it around your caring responsibilities. Studying with the Open University is very rewarding and fulfilling, and if you took some courses now you’d catch up, not have to start from scratch when the time comes. At some point you are going to have to think about and plan for the day you move on with your own life again.’
John frowned, considering her advice, a shimmer of hope in his brown eyes. ‘Thanks, Alex. That sounds a really good idea. I’ll think about it.’
‘I have some information at home. I could bring it next time I visit you and Libby, if you like,’ she offered, finishing her drink. ‘And they have an excellent website you could browse. If you become a student you can join others on the course forums online, get to know people doing your courses so you don’t feel so isolated.’
‘You seem to know a lot about it,’ He commented with interest.
A wave of memories washed over her as she rose and picked up her bag. ‘I cared for my father before he died and I did some home study with the OU myself. I found it very therapeutic and enjoyable.’
It was dark and wet when she left the Harrison house. They had been her last call of a busy day and she was tired, yet she was in no hurry to get back to the surgery. It had been a relief to discover she was needed out on community calls today rather than having to work at Glenside and face the inevitable possibility of seeing Kyle. Heat prickled through her just from thinking of his name. Her lips still tingled, still felt swollen. She could still taste him, still felt drunk on him, could still feel his body against hers, couldn’t forget the all consuming, intensely erotic kiss that had rocked her whole being.
She thought back to how he had been that day, before the kiss. That he had sought her out was amazing enough, but that he had talked about his feelings with more openness was promising, especially when he’d admitted he was considering writing a personal and emotional letter to his lost baby as part of the process of saying goodbye, letting go, moving on. But never forgetting. Kyle had seemed more relaxed when they had walked around outside. He hadn’t smiled very often, but when he had it had taken her breath away, and to hear him laugh for the first time had been wonderful. The warm, rich sound had been unexpected and infectious, and had touched something deep inside her. It made her wonder what he had been like before the loss of the baby and the break up of his marriage. She would love to hear him laugh more, would love his troubled spirit to allow him that freedom. It had been the laugh, however, that had led to the kiss. Which brought her back to her starting place.
After very little sleep on Saturday night, she had worked like a demon on Sunday, needing the activity to try and put the memory of Kyle and what had happened between them out of her mind. The same as she had attempted today. Not a chance. All she saw in her head was him. Allowed no escape, she relived every second of the kiss in Technicolour detail, her fevered imagination suggesting all the sinfully sexy ways of moving the moment on to its logical conclusion, envisioning her and Kyle twined together in a mating dance as old as time. No! Her knuckles whitened as she clenched her hands on the steering wheel. This madness had to stop. She couldn’t allow herself to have those kinds of thoughts about Kyle Sinclair.
She drove slowly back to Rigtownbrae, hoping everyone would have left by the time she reached the practice, but lights blazed from the windows and there were still a couple of cars on the forecourt. One of them was Kyle’s. She shouldn’t have been surprised; he spent far too many hours working in an attempt to mask his inner hurt and emotions. Sighing, she sucked in a steadying breath, repeating the incessant lecture to herself that she had to see Kyle eventually, and when she did she had to hide her feelings, had to be professional. Somehow. Collecting her things, she went inside and found Lisa Sharpe behind the reception desk in the now deserted waiting area. The plain-speaking Yorkshire woman, who had married Stuart, a local solicitor, twenty-five years ago, was an excellent practice manager—efficient, dedicated and sometimes demanding.
‘Hello, Alex,’ the older woman greeted her, a strange expression in her watchful eyes. ‘Everything all right?’
Puzzled at an undertone she couldn’t identify, Alex set her things on the top of the counter and frowned. ‘Fine. Why? Is something wrong?’
‘I’ve just had a call from a patient to say you never visited them as expected today,’ Lisa explained, shocking her.
‘What? But I’ve done all that were on my list!’
‘That’s strange.’ Eyes narrowed in concentration, Lisa tapped the keyboard and brought up the information on the screen. ‘It definitely says here that you were meant to see Deirdre Dunlop today.’
As Lisa tilted the screen so she could see, Alex stared at it in amazement, then drew out a piece of paper from her pocket. ‘This is the call sheet I printed off the computer before I left here this morning. Deirdre Dunlop isn’t on it,’ she informed Lisa, handing it over.
‘But that isn’t possible.’ Lisa studied the paper and looked back at the screen. ‘Everything else is exactly the same, just the one entry is missing. What on earth could have happened?’
‘I have no idea, Lisa.’
‘It’s most odd.’
‘Problems?’
Alex stiffened in reaction as the familiar, deeply masculine voice sounded behind her, unconsciously shifting away from Kyle as he approached the desk, his focus rigidly on Lisa Sharpe. One brief sight of him was enough
to have all her hormones in turmoil, fire licking through her veins, her breath freezing in her lungs.
‘There was a discrepancy on Alex’s home-visit list today and we were just sorting it out,’ the practice manager explained with customary directness.
‘What happened?’ Kyle asked, moving closer.
Alex concentrated on trying to breathe and not look at him, allowing Lisa to outline the unsettling and inexplicable error between the list on the computer now and the list she had taken that morning. It was very peculiar, but she was methodical in the way she worked and she knew for a fact that she had not missed anything and the call to Deirdre Dunlop had not been recorded before she’d left the surgery. Feeling Kyle’s attention switch to her, she steeled herself to remain calm and not slide into a puddle at his feet.
‘How do you explain it, Alexandra?’
‘I can’t.’ She fought to ignore the way his low, husky voice hummed right to her nerve endings. ‘I have no idea how this could have occurred.’
Kyle shook his head. ‘It doesn’t make any sense.’
‘No. However, the fact remains that Deirdre has missed her visit and needs to have her dressings changed. Lisa, can you give her a ring and tell her that I’ll call in to see her before I go home?’ Alex asked, picking up her things again and turning to go to the nurses’ room.
‘You’re planning to go now?’ Kyle queried, midnight blue eyes dark with confusion.
‘Yes, of course,’ Alex insisted. ‘The cellulitis in both her legs is improving and she’s responding to the antibiotics, but she can’t be allowed to remain uncomfortable. It isn’t her fault this mistake has taken place.’
She was deeply relieved when Kyle let the subject drop and failed to follow her down the corridor. Breathing space, that was what she needed to keep between them. Having sorted out her things, made up the notes on her day’s visits and ensured she had what she needed for Deirdre Dunlop’s dressing changes, she was preparing to head back out again when Lisa appeared at the door.
‘I’ve spoken to Deirdre and she is very grateful. It’s good of you to do this before you go home,’ The older woman praised.
‘It’s the least I can do. I just can’t understand what went wrong.’
Lisa frowned. ‘No, nor can I. I’ll run some tests tomorrow. It may be a good idea if we double check the lists together for now, just until we discover what happened. Hopefully it will be a one-off blip.’
‘I hope so too, but I agree that we should get together to compare the schedule.’ Alex was pleased at the suggestion while hating the need for caution. Better to have a witness and verify the information just in case further problems occurred.
‘Is everything all right with you and Kyle?’
The surprise question nearly gave her heart failure. ‘Excuse me?’
‘I thought things seemed a bit strained between you.’ Lisa watched her with interest, and Alex prayed she wouldn’t blush. ‘I know Penny has been difficult and given you a hard time since you joined us, but I wouldn’t take her too seriously, and she certainly isn’t representative of the rest of us. We’re all delighted to have you here, Alex.’
‘Thank you. I’m glad to be here.’ The brisk woman’s genuine comment warmed her.
‘Penny’s nose is out of joint because you and Kyle are clearly attracted to each other.’
Oh, hell! Lisa’s perception and uncharacteristic teasing shocked her. ‘I beg your pardon?’
‘I’m all for it,’ the woman persisted, undaunted. ‘It’s time he started living again.’
‘But there’s nothing going on! I’m not attracted to Kyle,’ she lied, hoping her laugh was convincingly dismissive as she instinctively tried to protect him from gossip and Penny’s wrath, even while emotion churned inside her. Her body was going into meltdown as she thought again of their heavenly kiss and what it would be like to repeat it…to go further.
Alex squeezed her eyes shut. Stop it, stop it, stop it.
Kyle froze in his progress down the corridor as he heard Alexandra’s voice coming through the open doorway. Damn it! Bitter disappointment curled in his gut. He’d been going to apologise to her for his behaviour on Saturday and check she was all right about doing the late home visit, but he’d give it a miss now. No way was he going in there to face her, with her rejection ringing in his ears. What had Lisa said to make Alexandra issue such a vehement denial? Why were they discussing him?
Returning to his consulting room, he slumped down at his desk. Alexandra cared about people. He shouldn’t read any more into her kindness to him than that, could only hope she had not been driven by a sense of pity. He cringed at the thought. Whatever her motivation in listening to him, she wasn’t attracted to him. She’d been clear enough, for goodness’ sake. And he should be pleased, given his own promise to himself that he would never become involved with a woman again. But he wasn’t pleased. He may have been in the wrong instigating it, but he hadn’t been able to forget their hotter-than-hot kiss on Saturday for a second, and he’d been weakening to the temptation to spend more time with her, see where things went. Now he knew. They were going nowhere. Which was probably just as well. At least he’d not made a fool of himself already and asked her out only to have her refuse. No loss of face. What he had to do was to forget about her, he chastised himself, running his fingers through his hair in agitation. But it didn’t change how he felt, didn’t stop him thinking about her, wanting her. Damn it!
‘Kyle?’
‘What is it?’ The hurt surprise on the practice manager’s face registered through his inner turmoil. ‘I’m sorry, Lisa, I didn’t mean to snap at you.’
‘Is something wrong?’
‘No. I just have something on my mind,’ he admitted, hiding a sarcastic laugh at himself.
‘I was just going to let you know that Alex and I have arranged to monitor the call schedules for the time being while I investigate what happened today.’
‘Fine. Keep me informed, please,’ he requested. ‘I don’t want patients or staff being inconvenienced.’
‘Alex has gone off now to see Deirdre Dunlop. We’re very lucky to have her; she’s an excellent nurse and the patients love her.’
Feeling Lisa’s gaze on him, Kyle kept his expression blank. ‘That’s good. You get off home yourself. It’s late.’
‘Pots and kettles. You work too hard, Kyle. Time to begin thinking about yourself and your own needs again.’
With that parting retort, Lisa left his room and Kyle breathed a sigh of relief. Better still was the knowledge that Alexandra had gone, although part of him was concerned at the hours she was working. Again he thought of how she had been on Saturday…warm, natural, open, sexy as hell. He had never experienced this terrible clawing, craving need for someone before.
Thankfully, his day had been a hectic one with busy surgeries and clinics, and he had been relieved to learn that Alexandra was out on calls rather than at Glenside where he might have had to work alongside her, her presence shattering his concentration. He looked now at the stack of paperwork on his desk which never seemed to decrease—but at least it kept him occupied, kept him from returning alone to an empty shell of a house and, hopefully, would stop him thinking solely about the woman who was driving him crazy. The woman who had stated quite clearly that she wasn’t attracted to him and didn’t want him.
October had brought late sunshine but November was cold, wet and grey with a hint of the winter to come nibbling in the air. After a hectic Friday morning of consultations, Kyle checked his inbox and found an email waiting for him from Conor.
“We’re taking up your idea of a celebratory get-together and are having a dinner for close friends, family and some of our colleagues from the surgery on Saturday week.”
Kyle read the information, noting his friends had booked the function room at a renowned country-house hotel halfway between Glentown-on-Firth and Rigtownbrae.
“Kate and I desperately want you to come. Please say yes, Kyle. Nic a
nd Hannah will be there. And if you’re free this weekend and fancy getting out on the bikes or for a walk, give me a ring and we’ll meet up.”
Kyle hit the reply button, fighting the instinctive urge to decline, to keep to himself. But these were his best friends, he cared about them, and maybe everybody was right and it was time for him to begin doing things again. What better occasion than this? Making the decision, he typed a note back agreeing to go to the dinner, and promising to call that evening to fix up a time and place for a jaunt in the hills in the next couple of days. Maybe Nic would be free to come too.
A knock at the door drew his attention. ‘Come in.’ His heart lurched when he looked up and saw Alexandra hesitate to move closer.
‘Sorry to trouble you, I know you’ve had a busy morning, but I wondered if you could spare a few moments to see a patient.’ Wary grey eyes fringed by sooty lashes regarded him, and made him face up to the fact that he had been avoiding her since he’d overheard her words to Lisa on Monday evening. Then there had been the kiss…No, he wasn’t going there, he vowed, trying to ignore the way his body reheated and hardened at the very thought of that unforgettable moment. He struggled to concentrate on what Alexandra was telling him. ‘Elizabeth is out on calls and Robert is booked solid with the diabetes clinic.’
‘What’s the problem?’
Looking relieved, she stepped closer to his desk and he leaned forward, fancying he could almost catch the familiar, intoxicating meadow-fresh scent of her. ‘Judy Craig is in the treatment room. She came in for a regular health check and cervical smear, but I’ve spotted what looks to be an unusual mole on her leg and I think it needs further investigation.’
‘Is Judy aware of it?’ he asked, frowning as he tried to drag his mind back to the task at hand and assimilate what he remembered about the woman—late thirties, married, three children, and she worked as a teacher at the same school as Robert’s wife, Lindsay. ‘Has she noticed a change in the mole?’
‘She said it has been there for years and, although it has been a little itchy lately, she hasn’t paid it much attention.’
His Very Special Nurse Page 10
