“I’m sorry gentlemen, we did everything we could to save him, but he was just too far gone.” Shouts of rage and screams of pain flooded the halls of the waiting room. My best friend, gone. My mind was in a fog, but I had to ask,
“Doc, Steel's sister was brought in about an hour ago, she has no clue what is going on, when I found her, she was already out of it. Is there anyway that I can go back and be with her when she finds out?”
“Are you her husband?”
“Yes,” I lied.
“Follow me and I will find her doctor so he can talk to you about what is going on.” I patted the guys on the back as I walked past them. I let out a deep breath and tried my best to be strong. I had to stop outside the door, how can I break this woman's heart? Her brother and her were so close, this is going to be one of the hardest thing I will ever watch. This could very well be what breaks Angel.
I walked in and Angel was still out, but at least she looked clean this time. I walked over beside the bed, sat down in the chair beside her and just held her hand. Mourning has never been my strong suit, I don't handle death well, so far the club had been pretty lucky. Megs death is on my mind all the time, now my best friend joins her. This one is hitting me hard, I could only take so much comfort in the fact that I get to cause his murderer pain before I let him meet the same fate that Steel did. I knew the day we joined the Twisted Knight’s this could have happen to either one of us. Steel was all that was good in the club, he kept us from doing a lot of things that could have got us killed faster. I realized I had started to cry and I don't know if it was the fact I just lost my best friend and VP, or if it was for Angel, and the things she has been through.
I stayed lost in thought until I heard the door slide open. I tried to wipe the tears from my face, but it was no use.
“Hello my name is Dr. Malory, I'm sorry for you're loss.” He extended his hand for me to shake, I took it,
“Demon, and thanks. How is she doc?” I dropped his hand and pointed at her.
“All things considered, pretty well. She is dehydrated, and beaten pretty bad. The baby's heart rate sounds good and everything looks good on the ultrasound.” I nodded to show my understanding. I looked down at Angel and sent a silent prayer to the heavens, then something dawned on me, he said baby. I looked up at the doctor then back at Angel, confusion must have been written all over my face, because the doctor asked if something was wrong. I jumped up and pointed at Angel,
“How did you know she has kids?”
“Well, sir I didn't know that she has kids, I do know that she is expecting.” The doctor was eyeing me funny. This must be a sick fucking joke, no way she is pregnant.
“What the fuck, is this some sort of fucked up joke?” I was almost yelling at the doctor, anger was rolling off me and I was about to snap. That fucker got her pregnant, oh yeah he's a dead man.
“Sir, no it's not a joke. My calculations put her at about two and half months.” I started thinking back, Two and a half months ago Angel was with me. That must mean,
“Is it mine?” I felt stupid the moment the question left my mouth, but I kept looking at the doctor waiting for his response.
Angel's voice startled me,
“Yes Demon, the baby is yours. I was going to tell before I was taken.” Her voice sounded so weak, but her words hit me hard. “I'm sorry you had to find out this way.”
Emotions overfilled me, what the fuck do I know about being a dad. Oh my fucking god, she still has no clue about the shit storm going on outside these four walls, how do I tell her without getting her upset. What the fuck am I going to do?
I fell back into the seat and rested my face in my hands. Today, what a fucking day. After a few minutes the door slid open again I heard another doctor walk in. Flashbacks of Meg rolled through my head. Her death still weighs on me, just like I am assuming this will do for Angel.
“Angel, I am sorry that I have to tell you this right now, given the shape you are in.” I reached up and I held her hand, after everything, she is going to need me to be the strong one. “Your brother was brought to us with multiple gunshots to his back. We tried everything we could to save him, but in the end it was to much. I'm sorry for your loss.” I kept my head down, I couldn't see what this was doing to her, plus I didn't want her to see me crying.
Angel
Tears fell from my eyes, this was really happening, Steel is really gone. It has been years since I truly cried, but the tears and sobs escaped my body. Even when I believed Clarke, I still felt like they were alive. Now, I know my only brother, or sibling for that matter, is dead!
My eyes are still really swollen, but I can see shadows, and I know that the doctors have left the room. I laid there trembling and gasping for a breath, tears and snot burned my swollen face. I couldn't move to wipe them away, nothing seemed to matter. The man that promised to be in my life forever, is gone. My chest felt like it was about to explode, the heart rate monitor beeping faster. The more I tried to calm myself the more I failed.
I literally felt my heart break, and crumble inside of me. I was to unaware of my surrounding, for the first time I didn't care if Clarke killed me, he already took one of the most important people in my life away.
“It's my fault. I should have stayed with the devil, my brother would still be alive.” I removed my hand from Demon's and rolled away from him. The quivering of my lips and chest still not easing. Demon placed his hand on my arm and began rubbing.
“No, Angel this is not your fault, Clarke did this, not you. He will pay for everything he has ever done.” His voiced was weak and cracking, but the meaning held promise.
“I want to do it, I want the last thing he sees to be me.” I whispered. I know it is wrong to wish death, and enforce it, but damn it he just turned me into a grim fucking reaper. I laid there lost in time, crying and repeating Steel's name. When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed of him.
Twenty-five years ago
“Marcus, come play in the sprinkler with me.” I shouted into the house, momma would tan my butt if I walked in there. I was already dripping wet from running through the sprinkler, in nothing but my faded pink one-piece bathing suit. Mud was caked around my ankles and I loved the feeling of squishing it between my toes.
Marcus came running out of the house and jumped down the steps. He rushed towards me, while pulling off his shirt. It had to be at least 90 degrees outside today, and the water was the best feeling in the world. Laughing and jumping through the sprinkler, we never worried about anything. We both knew that when momma got home she was going to make us cut it off so we played. He picked up the sprinkler and chased me with it, as I tried to run away. I couldn't help but laugh, his laugh had a way of making the worst days seem less horrible.
I laughed and looked at him, his face changed and when I looked around we were in a room, a cafe. He handed me an ice cream cone, chocolate and vanilla swirl, my favorite.
“Don't worry Rebecca, that guy isn't even worth your tears.” I was crying over a guy that had ditched me at homecoming. My brother, like always, stepped up to the plate, and took me out for ice cream. He smiled at me and I tried to smile back. His face glowed whenever he looked at me. As kids of a single mom, Marcus had a lot to do with raising me. I love him for it. He is, most of the time, the one I run to when I need anything.
The dream changed again and I was looking at Marcus laying on the floor. Out of no where, blood started to appear, soaking his shirt. Clarke's face came into view and gunshots went off.
My eyes shot open and I screamed, louder than I have ever screamed before. Tears poured down my face like a river and I can't stop myself from shaking and rocking. Trying to get my breath, oxygen wasn't coming. I felt someone crawl in behind me and wrap an arm around me.
“SHH, Angel, It will be OK. It will get better baby I promise.”
Demon whispered into my hair, he words caused a calming effect over me. Once my body stopped trembling, my breathing started to return to normal. T
he tears still spilled from my eyes.
Demon is my calm, hold on to that, I can't let that go. I grabbed his arm and held on, for fear that if I let go I would lose myself.
Demon
My heart is breaking watching her cry herself to sleep. Angel is my light and here I am, trying to pull her out of her own darkness. Her grip on my arm never loosened, even after she drifted off to sleep. I laid there just thinking, about Steel, about the twins, and of course the unborn child.
Meg would have been so happy that I met someone like Angel, she would have wanted me to move on and start a family, even if we never wanted one. She must have sent me my Angel, knowing without some guidance I would have never looked for love again. Sometimes I wish she could still be here, but then again, I would have never met Angel. I am past the point of feeling guilty, my love for both are so different. Really, what matters now is Meg is gone, and never coming back. Angel is here, living in her own hell, and I feel I am right where I belong, bringing her out of it.
The baby, that sorry son-of-a-bitch could have taken that from her and I. My hand was already placed on her stomach, I pressed in. It did feel harder now, how much longer before she starts showing. With the twins only being five months old, they can grow up close. They will never know their devil of a father, if that means I am their daddy too, so be it. I love those kids as much as I love the one growing inside of my woman.
Steel would have been so happy, I have never seen that man light up like he did when he was around her or her kids. He found out after he got with Alyssa that he would never have kids of his own, they tried so hard but he was shooting blanks. I was the only one to ever know. Steel was and will always be the best friend a person could have. I hate that he is gone but he will be forever remembered.
Since Angel is passed out and finally stopped crying for the moment, I decided this is the best time to go talk to the guys. I headed out to the lobby that was completely packed with patched members. Everyone stood and circled around me, some slapping my shoulder to show support. Spider had flown in with Steel's momma, Alyssa and the Twins.
I should be happy that she is pregnant, and I should want to scream it to the world. But right now I am fearful, for my children, and my woman. In the months that I have known her, I also came to know two amazing kids, that I will love as my own. Biting back tears that threatened to overflow, I made my way over to them. I bent down and kissed them both softly on the forehead. Let sleeping babies sleep. Flashes of moments that can be our life pull me towards the light. The demon inside of me is trying to fight it, but the light is growing. If I am ever going to get Angel out of her mental hell, I'm going to have to fight the one person I don't know if I can beat. Myself.
Spider was the first to speak to me,
“How is she?” His voice barely a whisper. Him and Steel were close too.
“Spider, I don't know. This broke her, in the worst way. Steel's death has snapped something inside of her and I don't know if she is going to come back.” It pains me to admit it. My woman is strong, but this might be to much.
“Have faith.” Alyssa's shaky voice echoed right to my soul. She's right, I need to believe in Angel and my love for her.
The PA system paged for Dr. Malory about the same time the doors busted open and a nurse came running through, Angel's nurse.
“Sir, come quick. She just woke up and is freaking out!”
Instantly the hairs on the back of my neck stood up and fear crept in to my mind. I ran through the doors and down the hallway. As I approached her room I almost ran into the doctor.
“Doc, let me try to handle this before you sedate her again!” My voice boomed over the crashing noises coming from Angel's room. He gave me a dirty look and tried to push past me.
“No, Mother Fucker! That is my woman in there, and it was not a fucking question. If I need you, I will ask for you. Are we clear?” I stepped towards him, causing him to step back with his hands in the air.
“Fine you have five minutes, then I sedate her!”
“Fuck off! I got this.” Pissing off the doctor is not helping the demon, just adding fuel to the fire. I turned towards her room and took a deep breath. Scary thing is I trained her, I have created the spitfire that I now have to calm down.
“Have faith.” I muttered to myself before opening the door.
Angel
I woke up to an empty bed and panicked. Everything flooded back to me, I remembered the way he reacted about the baby, the fact that my brother is dead and all the things Clarke did. The violent shaking and terrorized screams that came from me were unrecognizable. I grabbed the first thing I could reach and threw it, I hardly heard when the glass shattered. Withstanding all the years of abuse and what happens, he fucking kills my brother. I threw something else then grabbed my head and screamed. My throat burned and the tears stung my face. That asshole took everything from me. The one person that was always there for me, Clarke took him too.
“WHY!” I screamed at the ceiling, praying for an answer. I didn't even hear the door open so his voice startled me.
“Angel, babe that is a question no one can answer. Clarke is a very fucked up person, but the reason Steel came for you, I can answer. He loves you, he wants to see you happy and alive. Steel will always be remembered through you, and your good nature.”
Demon was slowly walking towards the bed, with his hands out in front of him.
“Demon, I need to see him. I have to see it with my own eyes.” I tried to wipe the tears from my eyes, there was no use, they came right back.
“Babe, are you sure?”
“Yes! I still don’t believe it!” I shouted at him, and instantly regretted it. Demon is not the one that did this, Clarke is. Oh and he will pay for it.
Demon sat down on the edge of the bed, wrapped his large arm around my shoulders and pulled me to him. He kissed my hair and took a deep breath. We sat there for the longest time just breathing. His presence relaxed me and the tears finally stopped. Who knew a man called Demon could be my one and only angel. After about twenty minutes I think I have calmed enough for Demon to relax a little, “Ok baby girl, I’m going to get the doctor and ask if we can go see your brother. I need you to remain calm while I do that. Ok?” His voice gentler than I have ever heard.
“Yes Demon, I'll stay calm but don't stay gone long please.”
He moved his shoulder and stood up. Instantly I started to miss his warmth. I laid back down on the pillow and waited. Alone with my own thoughts were never a good thing. Could I really face my brother? Flashes of his smiling face lit up my memories, I need to say goodbye, but I will never let go.
I sat that for a few more minutes before a nurse and Demon walked back in. The nurse was pushing a wheelchair. FUCK. I hate those things. Demon helped me stand up and put on a pair of sweats that my mom had brought. He very gently placed me into the wheelchair and squats down in front of me. I kept my head down, avoiding eye contact. He placed his hand on my cheek and slid it down to my chin. Demon lifted my head until his eyes made contact with mine. The look in his eyes almost caused another round of waterworks. He leaned in and carefully kissed me. When we broke the kiss he didn't pull away.
“Angel, I will always be here. For you and our kids. This might be the hardest thing we have ever had to do, but we will do it together. Ya' hear?”
“Yes, Demon.”
“Good, Do you remember the night you told me all about Clarke?”
“Pieces of it. Why?”
“I told you to give it to me, and I mean it.”
“Your brother helped me a lot. He was there when I needed to talk or needed to spar with someone to let out the anger. Just like I will be whatever it is you need from me.” His words hit me in my soul. I no longer had to bear this burden alone.
“Give it to me baby. Let me wash it all away. All the hurt. All the pain. All the fear. But keep the anger you're going to need it.”
His words from that night echoed in my head the whole way to s
ee my brothers' body. When they pulled him out a whimper left my body. Demon grabbed my hand and I held it tight. Everyone left us to be alone with him. I knew very little about what my brother did for a living, what I did know is he finally looked to be at peace. He was always the one to take on every ones problems. That and his own problems caused him to age quickly. My brother is/was a good man and I will always remember that. He also had a very dark side, and I know he was the kind of person that shot first and asked questions later. He would lay down his life for any member of his club or his family. Poor Alyssa, the love they shared sometimes made me sick. One thing that had hurt them was the club, ultimately separating them permanently.
“I will always miss you bro. Not a day will go by that I won't think about you and wish you were here. You will always be a part of me and I will do my best to keep your memory alive. Growing up, and even now you truly are the best brother ever. I will make him pay for doing this to you, I promise. Please watch over us, in the way only you could.” I wiped the tears from my face and watched him. I guess I was secretly hoping for him to respond. Demon's hand tightened around mine to let me know he was there for me. After what seems to be hours of us just sitting there, lost in our own memories, I spoke.
“I'm ready.”
Demon released my hand and stepped over behind the wheelchair. He turned me towards the door and started to push me away. I looked over my shoulder one more time at my brother and whispered,
“Goodbye Marcus, I love you.”
Demon
The days in the hospital dragged on, the constant flow of people was draining Angel. She looked and acted okay, but the sadness behind her eyes gave it away. With the amount of trauma she had, they wanted to keep her because of the baby. Not once did I leave her. After the fit she had the first day she promised she would try to keep calm as long as I didn't disappear.
Twisted Knights: Heaven and Hell: Twisted Knights MC Book Two Page 3
