SINGLE FATHER SEEKS...

by Amy J. Fetzer

  "After my most memorable one, yes."

  "Oh, bet that kind of boasting went over real well with Diana."

  Instantly she wished the words back. Yet his expression didn't change, telling her that he'd let that part of his life go.

  "She never knew. No one did. Ever. It was my secret."

  Ciara felt warmth explode inside her.

  "And you?"

  "Nope, though I do have one friend who suspects and mentions Hong Kong just to see the look on my face."

  "What look was that?"

  She stood and walked toward him, seduction in every cell of her body. "Pure satisfaction." She stopped close and bent, giving him a delicious view of her bosom before she kissed him.

  Her kiss had passion written all over it, in the way she outlined his mouth with slow deliberation, in the way she pushed her tongue between his lips, mimicking the dance they had done all last night.

  His groin tightened and Bryce shifted in the seat, one hand steadying Carolina. He wanted to touch Ciara so bad, fondle all that flesh hanging out of her swimsuit. But there were just too many boaters around.

  "Is it time to go home yet?" he said when she eased back. She was breathing as hard as he was.

  "Weigh anchor, captain. And take a shortcut."

  * * *

  A few hours later, on the balcony under the stars, Bryce pushed into her, her body calling him back. A slick slide of passion and hunger that never seemed to weaken, only grow stronger, washed over her.

  "Bryce," she gasped and lifted her hips to meet his strong thrusts, digging her feet into the floor.

  His features were tight with desire, his body taut against hers as he thrust. Ciara pulled him down onto her, wanting to feel his pleasure and make it her own. He plunged and she smiled into his eyes as her body burst with satisfaction. Pure and loving. She arched, sweet rapture spilling through her blood, making it sing.

  With one hand, Bryce held her off the floor and against him, gazing into her eyes as passion erupted, splitting through him and into her. He kept pushing, his gaze sweeping her body in the throes of her climax.

  It was enough to make his eyes burn. To know he gave her pleasure, to know he'd found more than he bargained for when she walked into his life.

  Several moments passed, their breathing and the wind the only sound filling the room. He lowered her to the floor and sank down onto her.

  She moaned with contentment and he eased from her, rolling to his back and pulling her close. She wrapped her limbs around him, sighing.

  Ciara stared up at the stars coloring the Carolina night, and her breath caught as one shot across the dark sky. "Make a wish," she whispered, pointing.

  "I don't need wishes. I'm a very contented man."

  She nudged Bryce. "And arrogant, too."

  He shifted to look at her, tipping her face to the moonlight. "What did you wish for?"

  "I'm not telling."

  "More secrets?"

  "What's that supposed to mean?"

  "You hide things from me, Ciara. I don't care what they are, except that you don't trust me enough to tell me."

  "There is nothing to tell, Bryce." Nothing that would make a difference. Nothing that would keep her from breaking her heart and his.

  He kissed her forehead, not responding, then he settled her back in his arms as if they hadn't spoken.

  Ciara's throat clamped tight and she hugged him, wishing again, yet knowing it would never come true. Nothing could make time stand still.

  * * *

  Ciara felt strange. It's not that she hadn't been in a grocery store before. But she never had with a baby strapped into the cart. Or a handsome man beside her. And she would have sworn a month ago that she would never have experienced a day like it in her life.

  Bryce reached for a package of cereal and tossed it into the cart.

  "You can't just toss it in, Bryce, or everything won't fit." She leaned over Carolina to resituate the package.

  "Why don't I push and you shop? Or are you territorial about who has command of the shopping cart?"

  Ciara made a face and switched places with him, handing him the list.

  Bryce had to rush to keep up with her. She was moving down the aisle, going after exactly what she needed. "Have you been in this store before?"

  "No why?"

  "It's just … well … how the heck do you know where everything is? It takes me at least an hour."

  "It's a woman thing," she said but knew it wasn't. Her CIA training taught her to take in several details in one sweep, the arrangement of obstructions, the nearest escape route, assessing the offense. At least she wasn't slipping, she thought, then glanced at the other women in the store. Some looked hurried, dealing with children's boredom. Across the produce aisle a couple strolled, a four-year-old talking incessantly. The sight of them hadn't bothered her until now. Their lives, or what she'd imagined them to be, seemed so mundane and lifeless to her months ago. But now, she was just plain jealous, and resentment rose in her. What good was her career, she thought, if she wasn't truly happy?

  And when did she stop being happy?

  She lifted her gaze to Bryce.

  When I fell in love with him, she thought.

  Ciara looked away, not denying it to herself. She loved him. Oh lord, she hadn't expected to but she did. She didn't examine when it happened, it just did. And the thought of being without him was eating at her. It was as if she were waiting for her heart to be torn out. She hadn't checked in with her boss because she didn't want to know if the sting was over. Didn't want to go back to work.

  She looked back at Bryce, walking closer. With him she knew what real happiness was, and she was just getting used to the taste.

  The baby fussed and Ciara focused. "Oh, I recognize that sound." Immediately she went for a box of animal crackers, opening them and giving them to the baby.

  "The whole box?"

  "I say bribery is allowed when you're in a store. We're done by the way."

  He sighed with what could only be relief and Ciara laced her arms with his. "Poor man, do you deserve a reward for behaving better than Carolina?"

  He looked at her, half-offended, half-intrigued.

  "Nah, you whined too much."

  He chuckled. She walked ahead, placing the groceries on the conveyer belt.

  A few minutes later they were outside. Carolina was still stuffing as many cookies as she could into her mouth. Ciara reached for the box, knowing she'd get a fight.

  A shot rank out and instinctively Ciara threw herself over the baby and pushed the cart between two cars. She and Bryce collided as he did the same thing.

  When they looked around and realized it was a car backfiring, Ciara let out a breath and checked the baby. Carolina just kept eating cookies.

  Bryce stood beside the car, scowling at her.

  "What?" She unlocked the trunk.

  "Okay, that was clearly a defensive move, Ciara. I was trained by the Secret Service to do it." He folded his arms over his chest. "Just where did you learn that?"

  * * *

  Chapter 10

  « ^ »

  Ciara stared, her expression blank. "It was a maternal instinct, I guess," she said, shrugging.

  "Most people would just look to see what it was first, not cover a person and be ready to take a bullet."

  "I'm not most people. I was with the Embassy, remember? And a bullet? It was a backfire."

  She started putting the bags into the trunk. He didn't move, still starling at her. Not now, she thought. She couldn't tell him now.

  "But neither of us knew that."

  "True. Your instinct was to protect, just as mine was. It was a split second decision, Bryce, and though this is a small town, it's not immune to a holdup now and then."

  His features softened a little.

  She stopped putting the groceries in the trunk and looked directly at him. "What would you have me do? Stick my head up to look? Ignore the sound and chance Carolina getti
ng caught by a stray bullet, or maybe getting hit by something as simple as a street-light snapping from its brackets?"

  "Of course not."

  "Then drop it. You're making a mountain out of a molehill. I would take any harm for this child," she said, stroking her hand over the baby's head. Carolina looked up at her, unaware of the tension between the adults, and smiling as she offered her a mushy cookie. "Isn't that enough?"

  She lifted her gaze to his. And waited.

  "Yes. It is."

  She nodded and lifted the baby out of the cart, silently telling him to finish loading.

  Bryce deposited the last bag in the trunk and shut the hood, watching through the window as Ciara strapped his daughter into her car seat, kissed her, then shut the door. Across the hood they stared at each other, and though what she said sounded logical, natural, he had his doubts. She'd been ready to pull that cart down on top of her for protection. She'd instantly moved between the vehicles for an extra shield.

  Maternal or not, most people didn't know to do that. And most people wouldn't be thinking that fast on their feet.

  "Want me to put the cart in the rack?"

  He blinked and shook his head, pushing the cart into the rack and coming back to the car. She was already inside, twisting in the seat to talk to the baby.

  And ignoring him.

  He felt it and wondered why the incident had damaged something between them. She didn't like being questioned but then, he knew that from the start. As he started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, Bryce realized he needed some answers. And for the ride home he debated on pressuring her for them, or finding the answers out on his own.

  For the remainder of the day Ciara went on as if nothing happened. As if she hadn't had a moment of complete and utter panic in the store parking lot. As if Bryce wasn't looking at her strangely. She fed the baby and took her outside to play, and though Bryce joined her, the conversation was a little stilted. She could feel his eyes on her, and not in a seductive way. He was trying to read deeper and it scared her.

  She wanted so badly to reveal everything to him, to get it out in the open and go from there. She trusted everything about him, except his reaction. She couldn't, because as much as she loved him, she couldn't bear to see it destroyed. She didn't think she could take a rejection from him. And telling him could endanger his life.

  Until Mark Faraday was caught she had to stay hidden and that meant hidden enough so that nothing would touch her or him and Carolina. She knew she should contact her boss, but each time was a risk and she really didn't want to put all her faith in her superiors. She was out of the loop, away from the workings of her team, and being uninformed made her vulnerable. But climbing back into the ring could make her a target, too.

  She let out a long sigh and kept her gaze on the baby, who was walking all over the place and shrieking with happiness about it. She glanced at Bryce. He was staring at his feet and she wondered what was going on in his head right now, then decided she would never know until he spoke up. She took a risk and pried open the can of frustration she could see building in him.

  "What's eating you?" "Nothing."

  She rolled her eyes. "Come on, talk."

  "You going to answer?"

  "Sure."

  He tipped his head back and met her gaze. "Where were you born?"

  Well, that was out of left field, she thought. "Georgia."

  "You don't have an accent."

  "Lost it when people kept making southern jokes about me. I never did have the power that usually comes with it. You know the steel magnolia quality."

  His lips quirked. "Any brothers or sisters?"

  Ciara stared into those beautiful blue eyes and knew he wasn't testing her. He just wanted to connect to her. She tried to see herself from his point of view and the picture wasn't all that attractive. She saw a woman who was living on the surface of life. His life. Keeping him at arm's length. And she'd bet that was exactly how he was feeling right now.

  She hesitated for another moment, considering the harm, and what he might do with the information. Because of her job, her family had different names than she did. Bryce knew her as Smart, not Caldwell. She didn't think he'd run to his computer and start doing a search if he wasn't satisfied. But it came down to two questions. Did she love him enough to reveal some of her past to bring them closer? Or did she want to reveal it for herself?

  Trust. With her heart, with her life? Ciara knew she'd never know until she took a chance. The price was great, yet her love for him was greater.

  "I have two brothers, Michael and Richard, and a little sister, Cassie. She just graduated from college and is off traveling the world with fashion designers." At least she thought she was. "Mike and Rick own a construction company. They have families."

  "So you lied to me?"

  She reared back. "Excuse me?"

  "You said your past was not important and too painful to talk about. Hell, I thought you were abused or something the way you hid it."

  "It's past. What difference does it make now what school I attended, how many boys I dated?"

  He set his iced tea aside and braced his elbows on his knees, the motion bringing him closer to her. "It's part of who you are, Ciara, and I realized I barely know you."

  "You know me, you know who I am. God, how can you not!"

  Bryce felt the hurt and defensiveness in her words. "Yes, I do know you. I know the woman who loves my daughter like she was her own. I know the woman who gets teary-eyed over dinner roll commercials." She flashed him an embarrassed smile. "The one who drives me wild with her touch. I know the woman who makes love with me like there is no tomorrow, when there is a tomorrow. If you'll just see it."

  Ciara swallowed repeatedly, her heart thundering in her chest.

  "But I don't understand what made you this way. I don't know how it is that you can turn your emotions off when you want to. And turn them on so brightly it makes my heart skip."

  Her eyes burned. No one could read her like he could. No one before wanted to. She'd had to be more than businesslike in her career. As cold as men, as calculating as the snipers she'd been ordered to shoot to kill. Her stomach rolled at the thought and she realized that insensitive temperament wasn't so easy to dredge up and thrust out like a shield anymore. Staring into his eyes, she felt her heart weaken. To his pleas and to her need to share her greatest shame.

  She swallowed a breath. "I did something that hurt them all, Bryce. And I thought it best to just stay away."

  His expression first hardened, then softened. "What happened?"

  I joined the CIA, she thought. She went off and dismissed them from her mind, from her heart. "I abandoned them."

  "Why?"

  She licked her lips and spoke the truth. "Because when my parents died I got all the burdens my mother had. I was mother to Cassie and being a housewife to two men, yet with no husband. They had their lives and were going full steam ahead, yet expected me to stay home and hold down the fort, make it as if my parents hadn't been blown to bits in a crash!" She choked on her breath, and stood suddenly, folding her arms over her middle and walking a few feet away. She watched Carolina walk unsteadily and try to gather up her pail and shovel. "I was young and wanted freedom, too. I wanted them to pay attention and see that I was drowning. That I was losing the chance to have my own life and living my mother's instead."

  Her throat closed and she bit back scalding tears. She'd been so angry with them for so long. Angry enough to push them out of her heart and focus on the career that made a difference in the world. Yet when she'd arrived here, when she'd fallen in love with a needy baby and a lonely man, she let herself feel.

  And now she was feeling so much she couldn't breathe.

  Bryce watched her shoulders tighten and knew she was fighting her emotions. "Don't blame yourself. They had a part in it."

  "I'm the one who left."

  "But whether they knew it or not, they pushed you out." He stood and came to her,
tipping her head back and staring into her sad eyes. Sympathy swam through him. "I understand."

  "Oh yeah, right."

  He smiled slightly, patiently. "I do. I'd been expected to take over the family business, but I didn't want to. And my father knew it. He just kept ignoring my wishes. When I went into the Secret Service, my father was more than disappointed. He'd accepted it, expecting me to return home someday and be a part of the company. But if it hadn't been for Diana I would never be the president right now."

  "But you didn't cut them out completely."

  "Yes I did. I never came back. Not until my father became ill and was considering retiring. That's really why I was home when I met Diana. Otherwise I'd have never come home."

  "I doubt that."

  "Thanks for the confidence, darlin', but I'm sure my sister blabbed that I hadn't exactly been the social butterfly when I came back anyway."

  Her lips curved gently. "Yes, she did blab that much."

  "I resented the hell out of my family even mentioning I should come home permanently. Maybe I even held it against Diana for forcing me to."

  "That's a whole other issue, Bryce."

  "And a dead one." He pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her, and hers clamped his waist. He held her, feeling her sorrow shudder through her, and she sighed, snuggling into his body. He rubbed her back in slow circles.

  "It okay, baby. I'm sorry I pushed."

  "No." She squeezed him. "You deserved to know." And she wanted him to.

  She tipped her head back and accepted his kiss, the heady warmth of it spreading through her like sweet wine.

  Carolina trotted up and grasped their legs, trying to hold on and not totter backward. Ciara bent down and scooped her up. Carolina offered them a rock.

  Ciara thanked her and held it to her chest like it was a diamond.

  Bryce watched their interaction, wondering how he could see the truth of her love so plainly, yet still have this niggling suspicion there was more to her than she'd revealed today. He resented the thought and in an effort to push it out, he kissed her, feeling a bond that went deeper than his soul when his daughter clutched at them both.