Out of the Ashes (Marked as His Book 1)

by Rossi, Monica

  Dax had tried to get Ma to move into a larger home but she wouldn’t hear of it. This small house on the outskirts of an old suburb was the first home they’d all lived in together that wasn’t a roach infested one bedroom dump smack dab in the middle of the shittiest part of the city and she wasn’t leaving it for anything else. She said it was her happy place, the place she had the best memories.

  And they’d all worked together to get it and keep it. Dax had pulled extra shifts at the gas station where he’d been working. Joker had stocked shelves at night at Wal-Mart and slung meat and potatoes at a greasy spoon during the day. Sandy had taken a job at a restaurant where the tips were always better if your skirt was a little too short or your shirt a little too tight. And even Dex started tutoring the other kids in his classes to help out. And it had. With the new house payment there had been weeks where the little bit Dax had earned had kept them all from going hungry. And Ma, well Ma had done just like she always did, whatever was necessary.

  But they weren’t going hungry today. Ma had laid out a spread that would have fed double the people present. It would have fed more people than could fit into the tiny three bedroom home.

  “Alright now, alright,” Ma shushed them and held her hands out to either side of her, “Let’s bow our heads.”

  Joker and Sandy both rolled their eyes but complied, Dex, the staunch atheist of the bunch, didn’t even flinch as he bowed his head. He’d told Ma his views one day when he was around 17 and then had proceeded to keep them to himself the rest of the time. Dax smiled fondly at his youngest brother, who would rather keep the peace than prove his point.

  Their guest went along with the custom as Ma thanked Jesus profusely for all of their blessings and for being surrounded by those she loved, and when she said ‘amen’ everyone echoed her.

  That was what Sunday was about in Ma’s house. Good food, good times with family, and the Almighty Lord. And Dax wouldn’t have it any other way.

  He wasn’t sure about his beliefs where God was concerned, but he knew where he stood where Ma was concerned and that was on the side of whatever made her happy.

  “Dig in!” she said and the table seemed to erupt in movement as everyone filled their plates and talked.

  “How were classes this week Dex?” Joker asked, eyeing the pretty blonde sitting at Dex’s side.

  Dex nodded, his mouth full of food, and mumbled, “Alright.” Dex wasn’t much of a talker.

  All they’d been able to get out of him about the girl he’d brought home was her name and that he’d met her in one of his classes.

  Joker looked at Dax and shrugged.

  “What about you Sandy? How was your week? It seems like I’ve barely seen you. At work that is. Must be nice being able to sleep in and do your nails while your brothers are working,” Joker smirked, knowing he’d get under Sandy’s skin. And with the way she’d been scowling at everyone all day it wasn’t going to take much.

  Sandy lifted a small hand and made the motion of rolling up a car door as her middle finger lifted.

  “Leave her alone, Sandy never takes any time off, give her a break,” Dax said around a mouthful. The last thing he wanted to listen to was his brother and sister arguing.

  Joker rolled his eyes, “Fine, what about you Ma, or Dax? I know I’ve seen you both every single day of the week, unlike some, but tell me what I missed out on. Have your bowel movements been regular?”

  “Joker I swear if you insist on being vulgar at this table you will go eat on the porch. And then what will your friend think of you?”

  In Ma’s eyes they’d never really grown up. The buxom girl at his side smiled and nudged him. She probably wouldn’t mind getting away from the crowd. She had that ‘I’ve just been fucked’ look about her that said she wouldn’t mind being fucked again right that moment.

  Envy twanged inside Dax. He hadn’t had that “just been fucked” look in quite some time.

  “We’re not children anymore Ma, you can’t send us from the table!” Dex said, laughter in his eyes.

  “Oh really? Try me and see!” Ma pointed a finger at Dex and they all howled.

  “Besides, I think we are twelve,” Joker picked up a biscuit and waved it over at Dax, “Dax called dibs on a girl this week.”

  “Oh really?” Dex asked.

  “I didn’t call dibs, I..” Dax tried to argue

  “’I call dibs,’ those were the words you said. Even though she clearly liked my style better.” Joker flipped nonexistent locks of hair over his shoulder.

  “That’s low bro, not like you to steal clients,” Dex chimed in.

  “I didn’t steal his client,” Dax was getting frustrated, “She hasn’t even had a consultation yet or seen any art. How can she be a client if she hasn’t paid anything?”

  “Prospective client then,” Joker modified, “But you did indeed call dibs.”

  “Fine whatever, I’m sorry I called dibs, if it means that much to you – “

  “No, don’t do that Dax,” Sandy cut in, “it’s your shop, you built it from the ground up and if you want to call dibs, it’s your right. Don’t take any bullshit off this asshole.” Her eyes cut over to Joker and if looks could have killed he’d have been on the floor gasping.

  “Whoa, whoa, what is the problem? I was just messing around. No need to have an aneurism over it.”

  “Yeah, Sandy, I wasn’t mad, don’t get so worked up.” Dax put his hand on Sandy’s arm. She’d been in a weird mood a lot lately and he was starting to worry about her. There had to be some problem she wasn’t telling them about. He should have said something sooner, but he’d been wrapped up in running the business, as usual. But he was going to ask now. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing, I just don’t think Joe,” her abbreviation for Joker, “should give you shit. You never ask for anything and you work your ass off supporting this family.”

  “We all work Sandy. You and Joker work the same as I do, and Ma practically runs everything.” That wasn’t quite honest, he did do a lot of the heavy lifting around the shop, but they did all pitch in.

  “Whatever, we all know whose shop it is,” she said, looking down at her plate.

  Was that it? Was she resentful that the shop was his? He’d sign over whatever part of it she wanted right then and there if that was it… but something told him that wasn’t the real problem.

  Better to get it out in the open there in front of everyone instead of letting it fester any longer.

  “Nuh uh, what is it?” Dax pulled her chin up and he saw the water standing in her eyes.

  Sandy pulled her chin out of his grasp, looking around the table until her eyes landed on the girl sitting beside Joker, and something inside her seemed to harden.

  “I’m moving,” her voice sounded void of emotion, but Dax knew that was the furthest thing from the truth.

  He inhaled, and it seemed like everyone else at the table did the same, and for a moment there was stunned silence.

  And then all hell broke loose.

  ***

  Dax knocked on the door that still boasted the words ‘Sandy’s Room’ in hot pink curled letters on a black leopard print background.

  It had been a while since they’d lived in the little house, they’d moved into an apartment together near the shop years ago. Technically Joker lived there too but he was never actually there enough to be considered an occupant, and he only paid rent when the thought occurred to him.

  It didn’t matter, Dax and Sandy got along well enough without him. Sometimes she’d throw things in the crock pot and they’d have a meal when they got home from the shop or he’d call for Chinese delivery and they’d watch something stupid on the TV together.

  It was comfortable and it suited Dax just fine. He hadn’t known there was a problem.

  “Sandy, it’s Dax, let me in so I can yell at you,” he said to the door. She knew that he wasn’t going to yell. He wasn’t sure he’d yelled at anyone since the time he’d found out Dex had b
een hacking into the school’s database and changing grades for his class mates, for a hefty fee of course.

  He tried to be gentle with his family, too much of their life had been hard without him adding to it.

  He heard shuffling on the other side of the door and knew she was going to let him in.

  She looked a mess, eyes red and puffy, face blotchy, nose damp and runny. Not her best look. Sandy wasn’t much of a cryer, but it wasn’t pretty when she did. Maybe that’s why she tried to keep the waterworks to a minimum.

  “Hey, what’s this?” he asked softly as he followed her to the daybed she’d spray painted black when she’d been twelve or so.

  She took a steadying breath and burst into sobs again right before throwing herself into his arms.

  “Ok, it’s ok, just cry it out and then we can talk about it.” This wasn’t his first rodeo. He’d been in this exact position before and every time there was some asshole responsible for making his sister cry like this. Well there was a chick one time but he didn’t like to dwell on that too much.

  He held her and patted her back while she let out the flood of emotion she’d kept in check in front of the others.

  In fact, she hadn’t said much more to them. She’d just let them babble loudly at her and then informed them calmly that she was set to move to different time zone in less than a month. And then she’d turned around and walked out the room, leaving pandemonium in her wake.

  He’d had to calm Ma down before he’d come to her, and Sandy should feel awful about dropping something like that on her so suddenly and then leaving without giving her any more information, but he’d guilt her about that later, when she wasn’t so moist in the face area.

  She seemed to be calming down so Dax leaned back to look at her. Definitely not going to win any beauty pageants after crying.

  “So, you’re moving.”

  She took a slow trembling breathe, “Yup.”

  “Any reason, or did you just get a wild hair up your ass.”

  She gave him a sideways smile, “Wild hair I guess.” Dax nudged her and she eyed him sideways before looking down at her hands, “I just can’t do it anymore. It’s too hard.”

  Dax felt his forehead crease.

  “Oh come on Dax, don’t act like you don’t know.” She scooted away from him, looking incredulous. “Really. God, men are so dense. It’s like y’all walk around just oblivious to everything around you. Except for food. And tits. Ma has known forever.”

  Dax held his hands out in front of him, he didn’t even know what question to ask. “Ok, maybe so, but how about giving a poor penis having soul a clue.”

  Sandy gave a watery laugh. “It’s Joe. I’m in love with Joker.”

  Time halted for a long minute while his whole world had to be readjusted and then, like lightening hitting, everything fell into place. The looks he’d mistaken for sibling in fighting was actually unrequited love. The anger anytime Joker brought home a girl was not the protective sister routine he’d assumed but jealousy. Dax knew that his sister was a grown up woman, even plopped down here in the midst of her teenaged girl paraphernalia, and right now she was a woman who wanted a man who happened to be his brother.

  “Ew,” he said before he could stop himself, “God Sandy, that’s gross. He’s your fucking brother.” The thought of them together washing over him. He stood up, trying to put some distance between him and the idea of it.

  She threw one of the thousands of pillows from her bed and it bounced off his head, “Dax, you know he isn’t. We just call each other that.”

  “NO! NO! We don’t just call each other that. When I found you, you were only ten. And Joker was only, what? Thirteen or so at the time? You guys were raised together. Hell, I was only fourteen. How the fuck can you look at him that way? This is disgusting.” He shook his head.

  The tears were back, streaming down her face. “I know,” she mumbled quietly into another pillow she’d been prepared to launch.

  He paused and his heart broke a little for her. He shouldn’t have said that. Even though it was completely true.

  “I’m sorry Sandy, I didn’t mean that. Well I did, but I shouldn’t have said it out loud. I should have been more tactful.”

  “That’s something that’s in short supply in this family,” she snorted in a half laugh.

  “So your plan is just to move away to get away from it?” he asked, not sure that was the best idea but in the half a minute he’d had to adjust it was the one he felt most comfortable with.

  She nodded and shrugged, “I’ve tried everything else.”

  “What does Ma say?”

  “That I should tell him and see how he feels.”

  Dax’s stomach rolled but instead of saying something about it being gross again he tried to be more supportive, “Well, you could.”

  That was about as supportive as he could get.

  “And listen to him react just like you did. Don’t you think I know how he sees me? For the love of God he went and stole a box of tampons for me when I got my first period. Nobody falls in love with the person they’ve watched grow up,” she said dejectedly.

  “Except for you,”

  “Yeah, except for me,” she clenched her pillow closer to her and he was scared the waterworks were going to begin again.

  “I always knew you were special,” he said, hoping to get a laugh or at least a grin, but he was rewarded with neither.

  Dax didn’t know what else to say so he just sat down beside her. He couldn’t imagine how hard it would be to be in love with someone you saw day in and day out, bringing home different women, slogging through life happily without even being aware that someone was pining for you. Because that person was your sister. He did a little mental shiver. He couldn’t help it that was gross.

  Maybe her moving was the best plan. If she couldn’t get over him while he was right in front of her maybe some distance would help.

  “You see why I’m going?”

  Dax didn’t like it but he understood, “Yeah, but I’m going to miss you like crazy. It’s going to be so lonely at the apartment.”

  “What? We don’t do anything other than sit around not talking,” she said. What she said was true, they weren’t very talkative, but they were comfortable. It was nice knowing she was there reading a book in the living room or taking too damn long in the bathroom. She was going to leave a void when she left. Damn Joker’s irresistible ass.

  “I know, but I’d rather be quiet with you than with anybody else.” Dax said sincerely.

  “Aww, you’re going to make me cry again,” she said throwing her arms around him.

  “Just don’t fall in love with me, I love you too much to turn you down and I think I’d hurl if you made a move on me.”

  Sandy laughed like he’d hoped she would, “Not a chance, you’re cute but you stink.”

  “Hey!” he called out before getting pummeled in the face with a pillow. At least she was feeling better. Or at least good enough to beat him with bedding.

  He on the other hand was decidedly queasy. Would he ever be able to look at those two together again without wanting to vomit?

  She checked herself briefly in the mirror before picking her keys up off the small table beside the door.

  She didn’t need to worry about what she looked like, she’d dressed conservatively with no make-up on. She was going to have a service rendered to her and not to impress anyone.

  Especially not a man that popped into her thoughts without warning every time she turned around. Even though she’d only met him once. Even though she didn’t need any complications in her life. Even though her stomach clenched at the thought of that smile. She wasn’t going to let any of that, influence her in any way. Not at all.

  No, she was just going to see what he had to say. She probably wasn’t even going to get the tattoo done. It was probably too expensive. Or she wasn’t going to like the design he came up with. Something was going to happen and it would all be ok.

/>   And that’s what she told herself the entire time she walked to his shop.

  The tinkling sound of the bell rang out overhead and three sets of eyes turned towards her.

  One was Ma, one was Mr. Sexy Smile, and then there was a guy she hadn’t seen before; but looked almost as devastating as her guy.

  She shook her head, he wasn’t her guy, now or never. He was just the tattoo guy.

  Realizing she must look crazy, she cleared her throat, “Um, Hi, I’m Fern. I had a consultation with you today?”

  She made her statement sound like a question. She was trying to get over that, it was the way she’d learned to talk to Tim. She made no statements around him, everything was a question.

  But that was then, and this is now. She was going to stop asking men for permission to be.

  The guy smiled at her with those blinding white teeth and she felt herself go all warm on the inside. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the man beside him letting out a low whistle.

  “Yeah man, I can see why you called dibs on this one. She’s hot. A little bit too upscale for my tastes but hot even still.”

  Then he turned around and walked off leaving Cora open mouthed and Smiles looking like he might need to take a swing at something.

  Man this was awkward. “Maybe I should just come back later?” Fern started easing herself back toward the door. Between her uncomfortable attraction to him and his obvious embarrassment at having been called out this was just not going well at all.

  “Nonsense honey, you go on into Dax’s studio and see what he’s drawn up for you. It’s real special now, I promise.”

  Cora grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the back part of a shop, she looked back and ‘Dax’ was behind them, still fuming by the look on his face. The anxiety inside her increased. She did not want to be enclosed alone with an angry man, even if he did look like some sort of tattooed Calvin Klein model.

  They got to the room and her nervousness was momentarily abated. The white walls were covered from ceiling to floor with lines. At first you couldn’t make out anything but black and white lines but as you looked closer patterns and shapes began to emerge. A peacock here, a dragon there, a mermaid, a motorcycle, she even found a one up mushroom from Mario. She walked around following the lines around cabinets, an artist’s desk, a bunch of equipment she had no idea the purpose of, nonetheless engrossed in the walls. Maybe she was looking for a beginning or an end, when she almost ran into Dax.