by Hart, Rebel
I stepped towards the front door of the facility, with disappointment coloring my confusion. There were still lights on inside. It seemed I wasn’t going to be alone.
12
Jane
“Jane, do you have to do this tonight? It’s gonna take forever.”
All but a few straggling players had left the training facility for the night. Jim had waited until only about an hour prior to show me where he kept all of our former game tapes, and I wanted to watch them to prepare for Sunday’s game. I didn’t have a way to haul them all back to my house to watch them, so I decided to just hole up in the facility for the night and run a marathon.
“That’s why I have to start tonight. No team has had a more drastic change in the postseason than the Dragons. If we’re going to get past them, I need to identify everything we’ve done wrong since the beginning of the season.”
Jim let out a sigh. “Do you want me to stay with you?”
I shook my head. “Not necessary. I’m a big girl. I have keys. I know the security code. I’ll be fine.”
“Alright. I’ll call and check on you later. Use the company card if you get dinner, you are working after all, harder than anyone else around here.”
I popped and clicked the link on the monitor in the viewing room to start the first game. “I got it. Now go.”
Jim’s heavy head pressed against mine as he kissed the back of my head, and then a few minutes later, he was gone. I listened as the rest of the players filed out of the training facility, and once I was certain I was alone, I took off my shoes and suit coat and got a little more comfortable. It was going to be a long night.
I pressed play on the first game, balanced my notepad against my leg, and started furiously taking notes. My guys looked good. We weren’t a bad team in any shape, form, or fashion, but we had some arrogance on our team, and that arrogance was leading to mistakes bred of over-confidence. I thought of the litany of notes I was going to have for John and said a silent prayer. If he was even willing to listen to me, we were going to have to get in the ring and put our gloves on for him to fix all of his mistakes by Sunday. I made boxes around all of his notes with a plan to type up something separate for Jim. As much as I hated to admit defeat, it really didn’t seem like John was going to come around, so maybe it was best I started getting messages to him through Jim, who he’d hopefully be willing to take criticism from.
When half-time of the first game came around, I decided it made more sense to type my notes than write. My hands were already tired and I’d demolished half my notepad and I wasn’t even all the way through one game. I stood up and started out to the common area when I heard a clattering from outside the door.
“Hello?”
No sound called back to me. I sat listening for a minute, waiting to see if there was any additional noise, but it was silent. I figured something must not have been sitting right somewhere and had fallen over. If I had a nickel for every time one of these men, coaches included, just threw stuff wherever it would fit, I’d be rich enough to buy the team. I walked out of the viewing room and turned the corner to head down to my office. The common area was like a hub with a web of rooms and hallways leading off of it. The door to Jim’s office connected directly to the common area, and mine and the other coaches’ offices were down a hallway kitty-corner from his. I looked around the space to see if I could identify what had made the earlier noise, but everything seemed in place.
“Hello? Is someone still here?”
Nothing. My heart started to thump a little faster. I was pretty sure there was no one in the facility, but any woman knew they were never 100% safe anywhere. I kept my eyes darting all around me as I made my way towards the hallway to my office. I could see the small can of pepper spray that was sitting in the top drawer to my desk. I’d grab it when I got there; just to be safe.
I turned and started down the hallway, keeping a continuous look over my shoulder, and when I got to my office, I quickly opened the door and shut it behind me. I took a deep breath to calm myself down. I was doing that horror movie thing where everything seemed scary simply because someone had made it seem scary. There was a tipped over water bottle somewhere, mocking me. I grabbed my laptop and the can of pepper spray from my drawer, and then pumped some confidence into my body. I was fine. There was no one else in the facility, I’d just psyched myself up.
I opened the door again and turned out, making my way back towards the viewing room. I got back to the room and my coursing blood was slowing down. I blamed Jim for acting as if I’d just agreed to stay overnight at a haunted house. There were literally hundreds of cameras all over the facility, and the entire place was rigged with a state of the art alarm system. The only people who could get in or out were the other players and coaches, and I wasn’t afraid of any of them. I set my laptop and pepper spray down on the armchair I was sitting in and walked back out into the common area for a bottle of water. I skidded over to the door to the mini-fridge we kept stocked with water and sports drinks, opened the door, and reached in for a water.
Before my hand made it to any of the bottles, I was ripped backward from the fridge. I wanted to scream out, but a hand wrapped around my mouth and covered it, preventing me from making noise. My attacker was behind me, so I couldn’t see who it was, but I flailed my head back and up as best I could, feeling my skull scream out in pain as I made contact with the head of the other.
“Fuck!” The arms coiled around my body loosened and I slipped out of their grip, turning to see Dax standing in the middle of the common area holding his jaw. “That fucking hurt.”
“What the fuck are you doing? I’ve told you a million times to keep your hands off of me.”
Dax tilted his head to one side. “Come on, you can drop that victim shit, I know you want me. No one is around. We can do whatever we want.”
He took a step towards me and I took a step back. “Stay away from me. I swear if you come any closer I’ll call the police.”
“I’m a running back sweetheart, you think you can get to your phone before I can get to you?” He had a vile, lurid smile on his face and I was slowly starting to realize I’d grossly underestimated how much of a creep he was. “Look. I can completely change how you’re treated around here. The owner and I, we go way back. I can even get rid of John if you want me to. You treat me nice and I could make this your dream job.”
“It’s already my dream job, and I certainly don’t need some disgusting, lazy, owner’s boy helping me with anything. I can, and do, do this job just fine without your help.” I took a step back towards the viewing room. I needed my phone, or at least the pepper spray. “Now leave.”
Dax took a few more steps towards me. “I’m not going anywhere. I want you and I’m not leaving until I’ve had you.”
“Don’t mistake me for some weak-minded woman. I’m not afraid to tell everyone what you’re doing.”
“You think they’ll believe you? The woman who walks into a male’s football organization and a couple of weeks later cries ‘me too’?” Dax started to rush at me. “I’m not worried.”
I turned on my heel to try and get to the viewing room, but Dax was fast and had an arm around my waist within seconds. He dragged me back into the common area, turned me around, and slammed me against the wall. He used one hand to hold over my mouth and keep it shut, while the other grabbed at the base of my shirt. I grabbed his arm with both my hands and tried to force it away. I was keeping him from making much progress, I was strong after all, but he was twice my size. I could feel my arms starting to shake as he continued to push his hand under my shirt and slide it up my skin. I flailed against his hold, trying to knee him in the crotch, but he kept himself positioned in a way that I couldn’t get to him.
“I love a fighter.” He licked the side of my cheek as his hands clawed closer and closer to my breasts.
Tears started to pool in the corners of my eyes, but I tried my hardest to hold them back. I didn’t want to give hi
m any satisfaction. I was scared. I thought of my pepper spray not far from where I was standing and I thought of Jim’s offer to stay with me and I thought of how I could have just gone home. I thought of my dad trying to clamor his way down from heaven itself to save me, but I knew that he couldn’t. Nothing could at this point. I was helpless to my captor.
“That’s right, accept it. Women don’t get to choose to say yes or no to a man. What they want, they get.”
Tears started to stream down my face as Dax’s hand started down my torso again and started to slip under the waistband of my pants. I whimpered and shook my head, but he just laughed at me. His hand was nearly beneath my underwear when all of a sudden he went flying backward. I dropped to the ground, gagging and sobbing, and looked up to see John standing over me and Dax on the ground in front of him.
Dax leaped up from where he was and swung at John, but John ducked out of the way. While Dax was falling towards him, he swung back and socked Dax hard in his right eye. Dax laid a jab into John’s stomach, but John took it like the often sacked quarterback that he was, and threw another punch at Dax in the same place. Dax started to wobble back and forth, his eye already swelling, but he threw himself at John again. John was deft in his movements. He leaned to one side, waited for Dax to get close enough, and then grabbed his shirt by the collar and gave him two more, close-range socks straight to the face. Dax dropped to the ground, with spatters of blood splaying across the floor. John backed up until he was standing defensively between Dax and I. I didn’t know what to do or think. John had just saved me from being raped.
Dax crawled a few feet away from John and used one of the benches to help him get to his feet. “You just made a big mistake, buddy. I could end your career.”
“I’d like to see you try, you rapist asshole.” He took a huge step forward suddenly, and Dax actually recoiled a bit from fear. “Get the fuck out of here before I make sure you can’t walk.”
Dax looked at John and then he looked at me. “This isn’t over.”
My whole body shook when his eyes landed on mine, but John stepped between us again so that he couldn’t see me. “Get out.”
Dax went limping from the common area, and then John pulled out his phone. “Hi, I need to report an attempted…” he glanced back at me, “rape. At the NC Knights training facility located in Uptown Charlotte… No, he’s gone… Yeah, Dax Cellius… Yeah, Jane Panesse… No, she’s still here. I’m gonna call her brother… Okay, thank you.”
John turned around finally and looked down at me. I was shivering and couldn’t bring myself to stand up. The entire attack was playing in my mind over and over like a clip on replay. All the decisions I could have made to protect myself and I didn’t.
John slunk down and sat a few feet away from me. He didn’t say anything, but he was just watching me like I might shatter into a million pieces.
I sniffled as tears dropped down my face. “I know you think this is what I get for trying to coach here. If you want to tell me ‘I told you so’ please just leave.”
“No one deserves this, Jane. Not even you.” He pulled off his leather jacket and held it out. “Can I?” I watched him for a few seconds before nodding. He draped his jacket over me and returned to his spot. “We should call your brother.”
The thought of doing that tightened my throat. “He didn’t want me to stay. What do I say to him?”
“None of this is your fault.”
“I had pepper spray, but I set it down.”
“So what?”
“Jim offered to stay, but I told him to leave.”
“So what! You shouldn’t have to do that stuff. You shouldn’t have to take all these extra precautions. Men should know better.”
His voice went quiet. I could see that he was suffering from some internal battle. He didn’t like me and didn’t think I belonged here. It must have taken a lot for him to put himself in the line of fire for someone he thought so little of.
He pulled out his phone and dialed the number, pressing a button on his phone to put it on speakerphone.
“Hey, John, what’s up?” When I heard Jim’s voice, I started to sob in earnest. I dropped my head to my lap and a few seconds later, I felt John’s body pull against mine, nestling me between his legs. He wrapped his arm around my back and rubbed it gently and I dropped my head to his shoulder. “Is someone crying? What’s going on?”
“It’s Jane.”
“What?! What’s going on? What the fuck did you do?”
“Jim,” I managed to whimper out. “It was Dax.”
“Fuck — I gotta go — Where are you?”
“We’re at the training facility. Don’t worry, she’s okay now, but just get here.”
“I’m on my way.” The line went dead a second later.
John continued to rub my back gently, comforting me in a way I never would have expected from him. It was soft and deliberate. The more he touched me, the more the feeling of Dax’s hands on my skin faded away. I laid my head against his shoulder and took a deep breath in. His cologne, a mix of a subtle sweetness and something like pine, filled my nose and slowly calmed the fiercely galloping of my heart. I didn’t know why he was there. I didn’t know why he was willing to comfort me so intimately, but I didn’t care. At that moment, I didn’t want him to leave. His fingers sewed into my hair and scratched my head ever so gently. Occasionally, I would remember Dax and start to breathe a bit harder and faster, but John would hold me tighter and tell me everything was going to be okay.
And I believed him.
When the door to the common area was finally opening with Jim and a couple of police officers entering, I felt relief, but I didn’t move, and neither did John.
Jim crouched down next to us. He put a hand on my back, and John did then unthread himself from me and relinquish me to Jim, who pulled me in close. Something in me desired to have John back in my arms, to have his hand on my back and his fingers in my hair. I could chalk it up to being confused in the moment or attaching to the first person that was there to comfort me, but deep inside, I knew there was something else to it.
Jim helped me to my feet and John stood up as well, just as two police officers approached us. One of them nodded at John. “Sir, can we talk to you out in the hallway.”
John looked at me, then Jim, then the officers. “Uh, of course.”
Jim put a hand on John’s shoulder. “Thank you.”
John didn’t say anything back. He followed the officers to the door of the common area. They opened it and he started to walk out, but just before he crossed the threshold, he looked back at me. My heart pounded inside my chest as a horrifying realization settled over me.
I didn’t want him to go.
13
John
It took a lot of talking to myself in the mirror that morning to convince myself to go to work. I couldn’t get Jane out of my mind. I couldn’t get the image of Dax forcing himself on her, or the terrified look in her eyes out of my mind. Never in my life had I met someone who confounded me so much. Her presence in my life was a constant and confusing disruption. When I walked into the facility and saw Dax attacking her, any part of me that believed I hated her flew straight out the window. I saw him hurting her and if I’d had a gun in my hand, I would have shot him and I wouldn’t have stopped until he was dead, maybe not even then. It wasn’t a question of if I was just doing it because I was protecting a woman being attacked, or just because I disliked Dax. My reaction was driven by wanting to protect Jane more than anything at that moment and I didn’t know what that meant.
My plan was to put it out of my mind and pretend as if nothing had happened, but when I walked into the training facility, everyone was already there, and it was buzzing. Jane was standing at the center of the team, and seeing that she was at work immediately threw me into a tailspin. She looked up at me and we locked eyes and I didn’t know how to react.
I stuck my hand awkwardly in the air. “Hi.”
�
��Hi.” She gave me a half-smile, and I could see in the sunken bags under her eyes that she hadn’t slept.
“How are you feeling?”
She shrugged. “As good as I can, I guess.”
Jack was sitting near the outer edge of the team and stood up. He clapped a hand against the back of my head. “You’re a hero dude.”
I shook my head. “No. I didn’t do anything extraordinary. I just did what was right.”
Alvin stood up. “I’d have given him more than a black eye.”
I looked at Jane. “How does everyone know?”
“Policy. Everyone has to be briefed to keep people from talking to the media and stuff.” Jane’s bottom lip was screwed beneath her teeth. She was having a hard time. She shouldn’t be here.
I walked into the locker room and Jack followed me. “That’s crazy that Dax actually attacked her. I mean, I knew he was a creep, but I didn’t think he’d actually try and rape her. Thank god you came back after your date.”
I stopped what I was doing and looked over at Jack. “What?”
Jack’s brows knitted together. “What?”
“How did you know I had a date last night?”
Jack looked off into space and then his eyes widened. “Um. Er. I, uh, went after you when you left yesterday, and saw your sisters in the lot. They told me.”
Bethany and Bailey did part ways from Vick and I after we met up yesterday, but I was pretty sure they left before we did. I looked at Jack and he was looking at me, but I didn’t have any reason to doubt what he was saying; I highly doubted my sisters called him just to tell him I’d asked Vick out. However it happened, he knew, and he was right, it was a good thing I chose to come back, or who knows what would have happened.
