Team Hate

by Hart, Rebel

  “It was for your health.”

  “—that’s fine. If I throw up my hands and walk off the field because I’m unhappy with the call, that’s not okay.”

  I looked at him with a tilt to my head. “But you did do that.”

  He nodded. “I’m aware.”

  A minuscule grin poked out on my face. “Are you… apologizing?”

  “No. Why would I apologize to someone like you? I don’t apologize to quitters.”

  “I’m not quitting,” I mumbled quietly under my breath.

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  “I’m not quitting!”

  John nodded. “Good, because I didn’t put in this much time arguing with you for you to go running off.”

  Dax filled my mind again, surrounding me, threatening to drag me below the surface of the water. I looked at John. “I don’t know that I’m strong enough to do this.”

  John stood up. “Listen closely, because I will never say this to you again.” He looked down at me. “You’re the only person I know that is strong enough.”

  He immediately rushed out of the office as my lips curled ever and ever closer to my cheeks. Dax faded from my mind and John filled the empty spaces. The soft way he touched me, the backhanded way he tried to make me feel better, the few smiles I’d gotten over time.

  “Shit,” I said out loud. “I think I’m in trouble.”

  15

  John

  I was relieved that Jim had forced a break on Jane and decided to have her work on strength and conditioning with just Jack and I. It seemed that kind of work really was her preferred work, and when she was looking at the monitor and anxiously scribbling notes, I couldn’t help but notice how adorable she looked. Her eyes were wide and excited and her hands moved across the page at a million miles a minute.

  “Okay,” she announced finally, “can you both take your shirts off?”

  Jack started laughing. “Of course, after enough time, they all wanna see the goods.”

  “Don’t you start.” Jane walked and stood between the treadmills Jack and I were running on. “I need to look at some muscle reflexes.”

  Without stopping our tread, both Jack and I lifted our shirts over our heads and tossed them to the side. Jane started out observing Jack’s body, making notes as he ran, and poking him in specific places with a pen. Eventually, she reached her hand out and set it on the side of his rib-cage. She kept it in place while he moved, and even though it was clear she was just studying the pull and strain of his muscles, part of me burned with jealousy. I turned my head away from the scene and tried to focus on keeping my own even pace. I cursed myself internally for getting so lost and mixed up with my emotions. I didn’t know which way was up anymore.

  “Alright, I’m gonna slow you down and stop you.” Jane started to tap the buttons on the treadmill Jack was on, causing the belt to slow steadily until it came to a stop. “I think we’re good for today, Jack. I’ll give you a report tomorrow. You can hit the showers.”

  “Thanks, coach.” Jack climbed off the treadmill, wiped his face with his shirt, and walked out of the room.

  Jane turned her attention to me. The second her eyes landed on my bare torso, her cheeks turned a bright shade of red. She dropped out of ‘focused strength and conditioning coach’ mode and instead stood gawking at me. I kept running, feeling my own skin heat up at the feeling of her eyes painting me over, but eventually, I cleared my throat.

  “Jane?”

  She shivered a little bit and sprang into action. “Right. Sorry.”

  She did the same with me as she had with Jack, staring closely at my muscles and scratching a variety of notes as she did so, and then she finished by setting her hand on my stomach. My heart started to pound, and the sweat around my brow was no longer due to the working out. We’d shared a couple of unintentionally intimate moments, but I was just concerned with helping her through what was going on with Dax. With her hand on my exposed flesh, her fingers pressing against me ever so gently, I was beginning to long for something more from her.

  We stayed that way for a while, definitely longer than she had done with Jack. I peeked at her face, and the concentrated expression was gone again, leaving only longing in its place. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she was experiencing some of the same addled feelings I was.

  “Oh, what’s going on in here?”

  I looked over my shoulder and Bethany was standing in the doorway.

  Jane ripped her hand away from me, made some notes on her paper, which I could see were mostly unintelligible scribbles, and then started to slow down my treadmill.

  “Strength and conditioning.” She had a nervous squeak to her voice and she wouldn’t make any sort of eye contact with me. “Hi, B-Bethany, right?”

  Bethany raised an eyebrow as she walked into the room. “Yeah. Hi, Jane.”

  “Hello.” She skittered over to the monitor and hid behind it, though I could still see her entire face, the tips of her ears, and skin of her chest just below her neck were all glowing red.

  I climbed off the treadmill, hating my sisters’ constant bad timing, and gave Bethany a hug. “I see you’ve showed up unannounced. Again.” I looked around. “Where’s Bailey?”

  Bethany looked behind her as though she was truly expecting her to be there. “Oh. I don’t know. She was with me five minutes ago.” She looked back at me and shrugged. “Anyway. Are you almost done for the day? We thought we could go get dinner.”

  “Just about. I wanna put in another hour or so, I’m game though. Just us three?”

  “Maybe.” Bethany started to twist her body in an overdramatic, ‘daddy’s little princess about to ask for something,’ fashion. “Maybe we could invite Vick.”

  Vick. I hadn’t even thought about her in the week since everything happened with Jane and Dax. Whether I was willing to admit it or not, Jane was proving more of an obstacle than I was counting on in the ‘romance’ department. She was truly creating dissonance between what I thought I wanted and what my body had already decided I wanted. It was maddening to try and navigate.

  “Maybe just the three of us.”

  Bethany sucked her teeth. “Come on. She said you guys had a great time last week. It took you a long time to get on the horse, don’t just sit in one place. Take it for a ride.”

  “Is that just an analogy or are you actually making a sex joke about me and your best friend?”

  Bethany sat staring into the sky for a minute. “Both.”

  “Look, I’ll figure things out with Vick. In the meantime, I would quite enjoy a nice, quiet dinner with my sisters. You go find Bailey and pick a place, I’ll finish up here and meet you. Cool?”

  Bethany let out an exasperated sigh. “I guess.” She peeked over at Jane. “Nice to see you again!” Then she turned and danced out of the room.

  My skin prickled with embarrassment. I didn’t intend to discuss Vick right in front of Jane. It shouldn’t be a big deal, it wasn’t like Jane and I were anything, but with the odd, uncertain place we were in, I wasn’t sure how thick the ice I was treading was.

  “Sorry for the interruption.”

  Jane shook her head. “No worries. It was kind of interesting hearing about you dealing with women not like an ass.”

  An awkward chuckle escaped my lips. “Yeah. Um…” I walked over and grabbed my shirt, trying to decide what I wanted to say. I didn’t need to excuse myself from Vick, I hadn’t done anything wrong, but I couldn’t help but wish that Jane knew definitively that I wasn’t really considering pursuing it. “Vick’s my sisters’ best friend. She’s cute and I guess we’ve always kind of had a thing for one another. She’s honestly way too good for me. She’s a doctor so—”

  “Wow, that’s crazy. It must be fun seeing someone in a different capacity than you.” All the words were run together as if she didn’t really know what she was saying. “I have to get Jim my report, so I’ll talk to you later.”

  Without so much as stopping to
take a breath, Jane grabbed her papers and bag and started rushing for the door. I stood there in shock, unsure of what to make of her reaction. Cutting me off and bolting as soon as I mention a woman in a romantic capacity? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she was jealous. She was just about to cross the threshold out when Jim rounded the corner and backed her back into the room. She was shifting nervously and refused to turn around, keeping a healthy distance between where we were standing.

  “Good. I’m glad you’re both still here. We have a predicament.” He looked at me. “Your trainer called me. He’s had a death in the family and won’t be able to make your personal session tomorrow.”

  I let out a small growl. “Shit. I really need it.”

  “I know, but lucky for you, I have a solution.” He grabbed Jane and turned her around to face me. “Your assistant coach is totally certified in physical education and personal training, so she will lead your one-on-one session.”

  My jaw dropped. “What?”

  Jane whipped around and looked at him. “What?”

  “Don’t look at me like that. It’s clear to see that you two are doing at least a little better. Surely you can handle one Saturday one-on-one.”

  Jane shook her head. “I don’t know that that’s a great idea.”

  He looked at Jane, then looked at me, then back at Jane. “Too bad. I’m the coach, and I say, you’re doing it.”

  Jane side-eyed me with a look of dread equal to the one that I had. It was a struggle for us to get through the last five minutes alone, how were we ever going to survive a whole day?

  16

  John

  When I pulled up to the training facility the next morning, Jane was still sitting outside in her car. It was running, and her head was moving around continuously, keeping an eye out on the parking lot and surrounding area. It didn’t even occur to me how much it must freak her out to be at the facility alone again. I’m glad she had the wherewithal to sit in her car while she waited for me to arrive, but I hated that she felt like she needed to for her safety. She didn’t deserve that level of discomfort at her own job, no one did.

  I walked until I was a safe distance from her car, and then I waved. She gave me a weird half-wave in return and then collected her things, turned off her car, and got out.

  “Sorry. I was just—”

  I held up a hand to stop her. “You don’t have to apologize. I know.”

  We walked in uncomfortable silence towards the facility. The morning was gray and cloudy, and the scent of impending rain hung in the air. How appropriate. We went our separate ways when we got into the facility, her into her office, and me to the locker room. I did some jumps and flexes to try and warm my body up and prepare for the session, but it wasn’t my body that needed the coaxing. My heart was a thundering mess and my mind was hazy and uncertain. If I didn’t get it together, I wasn’t going to get the session in that I needed and I was probably going to tank Sunday’s game, which we couldn’t afford.

  At least when I was still certain I hated her my mind was clear. I knew exactly how I felt and exactly what I wanted. And I suppose, if I could decide if I did have some sort of feelings for her, that would create clarity too, but the reality was, I didn’t know anymore. The only thing I knew was that having Jane around created emotions in me that I’d never experienced before, good ones and bad ones.

  I trudged out to the field, watching every possible exit as I passed it. I could run, but it probably wouldn’t do me much good. I re-entered the misty morning, and Jane was already standing center field with her notebook in her hand. She was wearing a pair of loose-fitting black joggers, a light gray hoodie, and a pair of athletic sneakers. Her curly, brown hair was pulled back behind her head in a ponytail, and she had a pair of glasses balanced on her nose. I’d be lying to say she didn’t look good, even in such an understated outfit.

  “Let me guess. You want laps?”

  Jane looked up at me and offered me a simple, yet inviting smile. “Do you want to run laps?”

  “Who wants to run laps?”

  Jane shrugged. “Track stars?”

  I rolled my eyes at her. “What a dumb answer.”

  “You’re just annoyed I thought of one.” She scoffed and opened her notebook. “No, I don’t think you need to run laps, speed isn’t your problem.”

  “Oh, I have a problem, do I?”

  She snickered. “From where I’m standing you have several, but I’m only certified to help with the football ones.” I stared at her half-lidded and she continued. “We can work on your number one issue, but it’s only going to work if you’re going to listen to me.”

  “No can do, compadre.” She glared back at me and I held up my hands defensively. “If I was to listen to you, what would we work on?”

  “You’re backing up too much after the snap.”

  “What?! No, I’m not. I’ve been a quarterback for ten years.”

  “I know. I’ve seen all your high school, college, and pro-games. I’ve been studying you for almost that entire time, and I can tell you with confidence, that you have always backed up too much after the snap. You can get the ball downfield, that’s how you’ve earned your clout, but trust me on this one. You’re giving the opponent too much time to adjust to your offense. That’s why you’re the most sacked to shit player in the NFL.”

  I furrowed my brow. “I am not.” She held out her phone where she had already googled ‘Who is the player that has been sacked the most in the NFL.’ My very first ever pro-picture was the first result on the screen. “Well, so. That just means defenses understand they have to take me out.”

  “Yeah, and that they know they’ll have approximately 10-12 years to do it.” The insult stung, but in spite of it, I started to laugh. Jane cracked a smile and chuckled along as well. “I can help. I know you don’t think I know what I’m doing, but maybe I can prove you wrong?”

  “Alright coach,” I hissed the latter word with sarcasm and judgment, “let’s see what you can do.”

  Jane led me through a variety of exercises, forcing me to toss the ball before I was ready. She’d hike the ball to me and then blow her whistle when she wanted me to toss it out. At first, it was frustrating, because I felt like I was rushing, but I slowly started to catch the groove and figure out how to be ready to throw whenever she blew her whistle. It hopped me up from the snap quicker, and had me up on my toes more as I backed up. I hated to admit it, but she was right. The more we worked, the more I could see how my extra time spent backing up was giving the other team too much time to read the other players and our strategy. I always thought I was just backing up to get away from the sack and get a clear line to toss, but in reality, it was meant to keep eyes on me while my team made the moves they needed to. I was astounded.

  “Alright, slowpoke.” Jane walked a few feet away, off the field.

  I held my hands out. “Hey, you said I wasn’t slow.”

  “That is not what I said. I said your speed wasn’t the problem.” She made this sly face like she’d really gotten the best of me, and my whole body reacted. She kept throwing these playful jabs at me like we were in a continuous sparring match.

  It was hot.

  “How’s your aim?” she asked. I pumped the ball in my hand, threw it, and it sailed right between the goalposts on the far end of the field. Jane smiled. “Good. Here’s what we’re gonna do. When I yell ‘Hike’ you start backing up. When you get to exactly where you should, I’ll shout a yard line and side of the field. You throw it there, and if you do so successfully, I’ll be nice to you. One day for one success.”

  My eyes widened. “Wait. You’re gonna be nice to me, just for playing football. It’s almost as if you’re a coach.”

  “Don’t give me lip. You’re the one who refuses to accept me.”

  I scoffed. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

  The words left my mouth without my command. I glanced over at Jane and she was looking back at me with wide-eyes,
but a cheery grin. I was quickly learning that making Jane smile was something I got a bit of a high from. I hadn’t noticed it when she first showed up, maybe because she was putting on airs as much as we were. Her smile was something someone should have to pay to see. Every time we ran her drill and I threw the ball squarely to where she’d told me too, I licked my finger and made a faux-chalk checkmark in the air, and she gave me that stunning smile.

  I might be in trouble.

  As the afternoon progressed, the sun fought its way through the clouds and turned the day from cool to hot. Running drills got exhaustive and heated my body up beyond what was comfortable. I pulled off my shirt and threw it to the side, and Jane similarly pulled off her hoodie, leaving her standing there in a clean, white tank-top. It covered her chest entirely, she wasn’t being careless after what happened with Dax, but it still looked good hugging her form. She was well endowed, and with her hoodie off, and outside of the suit coats she typically wore, it was plain to see that she actually had a really spectacular body. Fit, with toned arms, but still a bit of thickness in the hips and thighs. I suddenly had to put active effort into not visibly salivating.

  I wasn’t the only one looking by any means. She had the same far-out, glazed over look she’d gotten when I discarded my shirt the day before. Her caramel cheeks were a darker shade than the rest of her face, and the tips of her ears were red as well. She was an ear-blusher, how cute.

  “Oh my god.” She dragged herself down the sidelines of the field like she was pulling a full cart behind her. “You are like trying to train the six million dollar man.”

  I was breathing hard from her excessive training. “Wait, first I’m too slow, then I’m too fast? Make up your mind.”

  “You make up your mind.” She put her hands on her hips. “I promised myself I would never chase a man around, yet here I am.”