Robert Browning - Delphi Poets Series

by Robert Browning

  Now, my turn! Either, Insulse! — I outburst,

  Stupidly put! Inane is the response,

  Inanis est responsio, or the like —

  To-wit, that each of all those characters,

  Quod singula elementa epistolæ,

  Had first of all been traced for her by him,

  Fuerant per eum prius designata,

  And then, the ink applied a-top of that,

  Et deinde, superinducto calamo,

  The piece, she says, became her handiwork,

  Per eam, efformata, ut ipsa asserit.

  Inane were such response! (a second time:)

  Her husband outlined her the whole, forsooth?

  Vir ejus lineabat epistolam?

  What, she confesses that she wrote the thing,

  Fatetur eam scripsisse, (scorn that scathes!)

  That she might pay obedience to her lord?

  Ut viro obtemperaret, apices

  (Here repeat charge with proper varied phrase)

  Eo designante, ipsaque calamum

  Super inducente? By such argument,

  Ita pariter, she seeks to show the same,

  (Ay, by Saint Joseph and what saints you please)

  Epistolam ostendit, medius fidius,

  No voluntary deed but fruit of force!

  Non voluntarie sed coacte scriptam!

  That’s the way to write Latin, friend my Fisc!

  Bottini is a beast, one barbarous:

  Look out for him when he attempts to say

  “Armed with a pistol, Guido followed her!”

  Will not I be beforehand with my Fisc,

  Cut away phrase by phrase from underfoot!

  Guido Pompiliam — Guido thus his wife

  Following with igneous engine, shall I have?

  Armis munitus igneis persequens —

  Arma sulphurea gestans, sulphury arms,

  Or, might one style a pistol — popping-piece?

  Armatus breviori sclopulo?

  We’ll let him have been armed so, though it make

  Somewhat against us: I had thought to own —

  Provided with a simple travelling-sword,

  Ense solummodo viatorio

  Instructus: but we’ll grant the pistol here:

  Better we lost the cause than lacked the gird

  At the Fisc’s Latin, lost the Judge’s laugh!

  It’s Venturini that decides for style.

  Tommati rather goes upon the law.

  So, as to law, —

  Ah, but with law ne’er hope

  To level the fellow, — don’t I know his trick!

  How he draws up, ducks under, twists aside!

  He’s a lean-gutted hectic rascal, fine

  As pale-haired red-eyed ferret which pretends

  ‘Tis ermine, pure soft snow from tail to snout.

  He eludes law by piteous looks aloft,

  Lets Latin glance off as he makes appeal

  To the saint that’s somewhere in the ceiling-top, —

  Do you suppose that I don’t see the beast?

  Plague of the ermine-vermin! For it takes,

  It takes, and here’s the fellow Fisc, you see,

  And Judge, you’ll not be long in seeing next!

  Confound the fop — he’s now at work like me:

  Enter his study, as I seem to do,

  Hear him read out his writing to himself!

  I know he writes as if he spoke: I hear

  The hoarse shrill throat, see shut eyes, neck shot-forth,

  — I see him strain on tiptoe, soar and pour

  Eloquence out, nor stay nor stint at all —

  Perorate in the air, and so, to press

  With the product! What abuse of type is here!

  He’ll keep clear of my cast, my logic-throw,

  Let argument slide, and then deliver swift

  Some bowl from quite an unguessed point of stand —

  Having the luck o’ the last word, the reply!

  A plaguy cast, a mortifying stroke:

  You face a fellow — cries “So, there you stand?

  “But I discourteous jump clean o’er your head!

  “You play ship-carpenter, not pilot so, —

  “Stop rat-holes, while a sea sweeps through the breach, —

  “Hammer and fortify at puny points!

  “Do, clamp and tenon, make all tight and safe!

  “‘Tis here and here and here you ship a sea,

  “No good of your stopped leaks and littleness!”

  Yet what do I name “little and a leak?”

  The main defence o’ the murder’s used to death,

  By this time, dry bare bones, no scrap to pick:

  Safer I worked at the new, the unforeseen,

  The nice bye-stroke, the fine and improvised,

  Point that can titillate the brain o’ the Bench

  Torpid with over-teaching, by this time!

  As if Tommati, that has heard, reheard

  And heard again, first this side and then that, —

  Guido and Pietro, Pietro and Guido din

  And deafen, full three years, at each long ear, —

  Don’t want amusement for instruction now,

  Won’t rather feel a flea run o’er his ribs,

  Than a daw settle heavily on his head!

  Oh, I was young and had the trick of fence,

  Knew subtle pass and push with careless right —

  The left arm ever quietly behind back

  With the dagger in ‘t: not both hands to blade!

  Puff and blow, put the strength out, Blunderbore!

  That’s my subordinate, young Spreti, now,

  Pedant and prig, — he’ll pant away at proof,

  That’s his way!

  Now for mine — to rub some life

  Into one’s choppy fingers this cold day!

  I trust Cinuzzo ties on tippet, guards

  The precious throat on which so much depends!

  Guido must be all goose-flesh in his hole,

  Despite the prison-straw: bad Carnival

  For captives! no sliced fry for him, poor Count!

  Carnival-time, — another providence!

  The town a-swarm with strangers to amuse,

  To edify, to give one’s name and fame

  In charge of, till they find, some future day,

  Cintino come and claim it, his name too,

  Pledge of the pleasantness they owe papa —

  Who else was it, cured Rome of her great qualms,

  When she must needs have her own judgment? — ay

  Since all her topping wits had set to work,

  Pronounced already on the case: mere boys,

  Twice Cineruggiolo’s age and half his sense,

  As good as tell me, when I cross the court,

  “Master Arcangeli!” (plucking at my gown)

  “We can predict, we comprehend your play,

  “We’ll help you save your client.” Tra-la-la!

  I’ve travelled ground, from childhood till this hour,

  To have the town anticipate my track!

  The old fox takes the plain and velvet path,

  The young hound’s predilection, — prints the dew,

  Don’t he, to suit their pulpy pads of paw?

  No! Burying nose deep down i’ the briery bush,

  Thus I defend Count Guido.

  Where are we weak?

  First, which is foremost in advantage too,

  Our murder, — we call, killing, — is a fact

  Confessed, defended, made a boast of: good!

  To think the Fisc claimed use of torture here,

  And got thereby avowal plump and plain

  That gives me just the chance I wanted, — scope

  Not for brute-force but ingenuity,

  Explaining matters, not denying them!

  One may dispute, — as I am bound to do,

  And shall, — validity of process here:

  Inasmu
ch as a noble is exempt

  From torture which plebeians undergo

  In such a case: for law is lenient, lax,

  Remits the torture to a nobleman

  Unless suspicion be of twice the strength

  Attaches to a man born vulgarly:

  We don’t card silk with comb that dresses wool.

  Moreover, ‘twas severity undue

  In this case, even had the lord been lout.

  What utters, on this head, our oracle,

  Our Farinacci, my Gamaliel erst,

  In those immortal “Questions?” What I quote:

  Of all the tools at Law’s disposal, sure

  “That named Vigiliarum is the best —

  “That is, the worst — to whoso has to bear:

  “Lasting, as it may do, from some seven hours

  “To ten, (beyond ten, we’ve no precedent;

  “Certain have touched their ten but, bah, they died!)

  “It does so efficaciously convince

  “That, — speaking by much observation here, —

  “Out of each hundred cases, by my count,

  “Never I knew of patients beyond four

  “Withstand its taste, or less than ninety-six

  “End by succumbing: only martyrs four,

  “Of obstinate silence, guilty or no, — against

  “Ninety-six full confessors, innocent

  “Or otherwise, — so shrewd a tool have we!”

  No marvel either: in unwary hands,

  Death on the spot is no rare consequence:

  As indeed all but happened in this case

  To one of ourselves, our young tough peasant-friend

  The accomplice called Baldeschi: they were rough,

  Dosed him with torture as you drench a horse,

  Not modify your treatment to a man:

  So, two successive days he fainted dead,

  And only on the third essay, gave up,

  Confessed like flesh and blood. We could reclaim, —

  Blockhead Bottini giving cause enough!

  But no, — we’ll take it as spontaneously

  Confessed: we’ll have the murder beyond doubt.

  Ah, fortunate (the poet’s word reversed)

  Inasmuch as we know our happiness!

  Had the antagonist left dubiety,

  Here were we proving murder a mere myth,

  And Guido innocent, ignorant, absent, — ay,

  Absent! He was — why, where should Christian be? —

  Engaged in visiting his proper church,

  The duty of us all at Christmas-time;

  When Caponsacchi, the seducer, stung

  To madness by his relegation, cast

  About him and contrived a remedy:

  To stave off what opprobrium broke afresh,

  By the birth o’ the babe, on him the imputed sire,

  He came and quietly sought to smother up

  His shame and theirs together, — killed the three,

  And fled — (go seek him where you please to search) —

  Just at the moment, Guido, touched by grace,

  Devotions ended, hastened to the spot,

  Meaning to pardon his convicted wife,

  “Neither do I condemn thee, go in peace!” —

  Who thus arrived i’ the nick of time to catch

  The charge o’ the killing, though great-heartedly

  He came but to forgive and bring to life.

  Doubt ye the force of Christmas on the soul?

  “Is thine eye evil because mine is good?”

  So, doubtless, had I needed argue here

  But for the full confession round and sound!

  Thus would you have some kingly alchemist, —

  Whose concern should not be with proving brass

  Transmutable to gold, but triumphing,

  Rather, above his gold changed out of brass,

  Not vulgarly to the mere sight and touch,

  But in the idea, the spiritual display,

  Proud apparition buoyed by winged words

  Hovering above its birth-place in the brain, —

  Here would you have this excellent personage

  Forced, by the gross need, to gird apron round,

  Plant forge, light fire, ply bellows, — in a word,

  Demonstrate — when a faulty pipkin’s crack

  May disconcert you his presumptive truth!

  Here were I hanging to the testimony

  Of one of these poor rustics — four, ye Gods!

  Whom the first taste of friend the Fiscal’s cord

  Might drive into undoing my whole speech,

  Shaming truth so!

  I wonder, all the same,

  Not so much at those peasants’ lack of heart;

  But — Guido Franceschini, nobleman,

  Bear pain no better! Everybody knows

  It used once, when my father was a boy,

  To form a proper, nay, important point

  I’ the education of our well-born youth,

  To take the torture handsomely at need,

  Without confessing in this clownish guise,

  Each noble had his rack for private use,

  And would, for the diversion of a guest,

  Bid it be set up in the yard of arms,

  To take thereon his hour of exercise, —

  Command the varletry stretch, strain their best,

  While friends looked on, admired my lord could smile

  ‘Mid tugging which had caused an ox to roar.

  Men are no longer men!

  — And advocates

  No longer Farinacci, let men add,

  If I one more time fly from point proposed!

  So, Vindicatio, — here begins the same! —

  Honoris causa; so we make our stand:

  Honour in us had injury, we shall prove.

  Or if we fail to prove such injury

  More than misprision of the fact, — what then?

  It is enough, authorities declare,

  If the result, the deed in question now,

  Be caused by confidence that injury

  Is veritable and no figment: since,

  What, though proved fancy afterward, seemed fact

  At the time, they argue shall excuse result.

  That which we do, persuaded of good cause

  For what we do, hold justifiable! —

  The casuists bid: man, bound to do his best,

  They would not have him leave that best undone

  And mean to do the worst, — though fuller light

  Show best was worst and worst would have been best.

  Act by the present light, they ask of man.

  Ultra quod hic non agitur, besides

  It is not anyway our business here,

  De probatione adulterii,

  To prove what we thought crime was crime indeed,

  Ad irrogandam pænam, and require

  Its punishment: such nowise do we seek:

  Sed ad effectum, but ‘tis our concern,

  Excusandi, here to simply find excuse,

  Occisorem, for who did the killing-work,

  Et ad illius defensionem (mark

  The difference!) and defend the man, just that.

  Quo casu levior probatio

  Exuberaret, to which end far lighter proof

  Suffices than the prior case would claim:

  It should be always harder to convict,

  In short, than to establish innocence,

  Therefore we shall demonstrate first of all

  That Honour is a gift of God to man

  Precious beyond compare, — which natural sense

  Of human rectitude and purity, —

  Which white, man’s soul is born with, brooks no touch:

  Therefore, the sensitivest spot of all,

  Woundable by a wafture breathed from black,

  Is, — honour within honour, like the eye

  Centred i’ the ball, — the honour of ou
r wife.

  Touch us o’ the pupil of our honour, then,

  Not actually, — since so you slay outright, —

  But by a gesture simulating touch,

  Presumable mere menace of such taint, —

  This were our warrant for eruptive ire

  “To whose dominion I impose no end.”

  (Virgil, now, should not be too difficult

  To Cinoncino, — say the early books . . .

  Pen, truce to further gambols! Poscimur!)

  Nor can revenge of injury done here

  To the honour proved the life and soul of us,

  Be too excessive, too extravagant:

  Such wrong seeks and must have complete revenge.

  Show we this, first, on the mere natural ground:

  Begin at the beginning, and proceed

  Incontrovertibly. Theodoric,

  In an apt sentence Cassiodorus cites,

  Propounds for basis of all household law —

  I hardly recollect it, but it ends,

  “Bird mates with bird, beast genders with his like,

  “And brooks no interference:” bird and beast?

  The very insects . . . if they wive or no,

  How dare I say when Aristotle doubts?

  But the presumption is they likewise wive,

  At least the nobler sorts; for take the bee

  As instance, — copying King Solomon, —

  Why that displeasure of the bee to aught

  That savours of incontinency, makes

  The unchaste a very horror to the hive?

  Whence comes it bees obtain the epithet

  Of castæ apes? notably “the chaste?”

  Because, ingeniously saith Scaliger,

  (The young one — see his book of Table-talk)

  “Such is their hatred of immodest act,

  “They fall upon the offender, sting to death.”

  I mind a passage much confirmative

  I’ the Idyllist (though I read him Latinized)

  “Why,” asks a shepherd, “is this bank unfit

  “For celebration of our vernal loves?”

  “Oh swain,” returns the wiser shepherdess,

  “Bees swarm here, and would quick resent our warmth!”

  Only cold-blooded fish lack instinct here,

  Nor gain nor guard connubiality:

  But beasts, quadrupedal, mammiferous,

  Do credit to their beasthood: witness him,

  That Ælian cites, the noble elephant,

  (Or if not Ælian, somebody as sage)

  Who seeing much offence beneath his nose,

  His master’s friend exceed in courtesy

  The due allowance to that master’s wife,

  Taught them good manners and killed both at once,

  Making his master and all men admire.

  Indubitably, then, that master’s self

  Favoured by circumstance, had done the same

  Or else stood clear rebuked by his own beast.