by Laura Ward
I spotted the tall, blond Dean taking pictures with a huge group of his tall, blond family. We waved and I looked around for Landon. He was standing awkwardly next to his parents, who sat rigidly in their seats, refusing to look at him.
Taking a deep breath, to gather my strength and self-control, I decided to introduce myself. I was sure Landon hadn’t said a word about me, as he was anything but close with his parents, and so I assumed it was safe. I also didn’t care what anyone else said anymore. This was it—May thirty first. I left today for the beginning of my road trip to Cali. Principal Mahoney had met me this morning and handed me a solid, positive recommendation. We hugged and I felt sure I would be seeing him at the next few holiday dinners with my mom… Awkward.
“Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Washington?” Two disinterested parents turned to me with annoyance. I was fairly sure they thought I was a student, probably one with a crush on their handsome son. My pale pink sundress and pink ballet flats made me look my age, unlike the professional attire I spent the majority of the year wearing. I kept my hair in a ponytail since it was hot and humid, and I would be driving for most of the day. They would probably not predict I was Landon’s former teacher.
Landon looked up, startled and then delighted, as I introduced myself to his parents as his Economics teacher. “I wanted to take a moment to tell you what an amazing student and person your son is. Of course, I know you already know this, but his kindness to students at our school was both impressive and humbling.” I smiled warmly at both of his, still scowling, parents.
Mr. Washington or John, as he gruffly informed me, was a large, tall man with a thick head of brown hair and a large pot belly. He was wearing khakis and a polo shirt with a sports team insignia embroidered on the pocket. His expensive shoes and thick cologne were meant to impress, but his expression was completely void of emotion. He voice was so cold I felt goose bumps rise on my arms.
Mrs. Shelly Washington was a petite platinum blond with harsh features. She had high cheekbones and a sharp nose, most likely surgically adjusted. Her lips were pressed together, showing her displeasure. She wore a trim green sundress with black stiletto heels and continually looked down at her iPhone. She made sure we all knew that this was not where she wanted to be. They were quite a pair.
John rolled his eyes as I finished. “I’m glad you’re impressed with our son’s character, Ms. Harris. My wife and I don’t share your opinion. We feel Landon has made a series of life-altering bad decisions. We hope to God he learns from his mistakes and turns his life around.”
Landon’s expression was distraught and my inner bitch reared her ugly head. Bitter proved herself useful in these kinds of conversations.
“Well, it’s clear to me that you don’t really know your son at all, then. I heard about the loss of his football scholarship, but there is a heck of a lot more to Landon than football. Your son is smart, kind, strong, and protective, and if you don’t have the ability to see those qualities in him, you have experienced a loss greater than I can express.”
Shelly covered her open mouth with her hand as John’s face was screwed in anger.
“I would say it’s been a pleasure meeting both of you, but that would be a lie. I hope to God Landon stays just as he is and nothing like you hope him to be.” I turned and stomped away, hearing Landon chuckle as his parents gasped behind me.
I walked away, head held high, feeling strong and proud of my inner bitch self, for possibly the first time in my life. Landon jogged up behind me and touched my elbow gently. I turned around to see the amusement glimmer in his eyes.
“You just made my day. First that dress. Damn. Then the verbal bitch slap to my parents. You’re amazing. Thank you.” Landon murmured close to my ear, and I nervously looked around to see if we were being watched.
Luckily, everyone was wrapped up in the festivities, and we were safe to speak privately. “Land—I need to tell you goodbye now. I’m leaving right after the ceremony.”
The flash of pain across Landon’s face was unmistakable. I stealthily grabbed his unbroken hand and squeezed it. This was it. The time for hiding my feelings was over. I’d been hurt this year, but I’d also been loved. I had one last choice. I could keep living my life like I had before meeting Landon—alone, angry and untrusting, or I could choose to live with love in my heart. Where Landon was concerned, there really had never been a choice.
It was always love.
“One more thing, and then I’m turning back around and walking to my seat. I need to say one thing to you before I go. Just listen, please. Don’t say anything. Okay?”
Landon nodded and bent his knees slightly so I could look right at him. I took a deep breath before continuing. “Thank you. Thank you for teaching me time and time again how wrong I was. When I met you, I hated men because of my dad. I was an angry, bitter girl. When you lied to me, I figured it was just typical male behavior. But this year you have proven over and over again how good you are. How strong you are. How brave you are. You proved me wrong, and I have never been happier to be wrong.”
I took another deep breath before I could go on. I had to find the right words for the hardest goodbye of all. “I need to say this to you right now. I love you, Landon. I’ve loved you for a long time. I never knew what it felt like to really love a man, and nothing could be better than my first love being with you.” I stared at him for a long moment.
Landon’s eyes were wide and full of emotion, but he heeded my request and let me walk away. I didn’t want or need him to say anything. I needed to drive to California, knowing I had faced my ultimate fear and shared my true heart with Landon, expecting nothing in return. I also needed him to know he was loved by someone.
Taking more deep breaths to hopefully ease the tremors running through my body, I spotted Amy and her parents. They eagerly waved me over, and as soon as I saw Amy I knew. Her smile was blinding. She waved her paper in the air with a cheer.
“I got axcepted. I’m goin’ to Clemson!” We hugged and laughed and cheered and cried. I was certain that no acceptance letter I would ever read in my life was as precious.
Amy was going to college.
We spent the next minutes taking pictures and sharing hugs and well wishes. But in addition to my pride over her college acceptance, I also needed Amy to know how special and important she was to me this year on a personal level. She was my dear friend. We would always stay close.
Before she headed to her seat, I took her hands in mine. “Amy, I know I’m the teacher here, but you taught me so much this year.” Amy grinned as she listened to me carefully. “You taught me to have self-confidence. Watching you dance so freely in your beautiful dresses at all the dances this year was such fun. I promise you I will wear more bright dresses and dance any chance I get.”
“You also taught me about loyalty. You were a true friend to me when I needed it the most. You ate lunch with me in my classroom because no one else wanted to be around me. You never gave up on me. Thank you.”
Amy had big, fat tears rolling down her cheeks as she hugged me.
She shook her head, too overwhelmed to speak. But she took a huge breath and was able to speak quietly to me. “You never treated me different. You taught me to be indpendent. And now, because of you, I’m goin’ to college. Just like you did.” She wiped her tears, and we hugged once more before her mom walked her to her chair, and I felt ready, finally, to move on. I had said all of my goodbyes. It was time.
I watched the ceremony from the back of the field. There were speeches from Principal Mahoney and the class valedictorian. Several songs were sung by the chorus and then the seniors were marched across the field to the hoots, hollers, whistles, horn blows, and my personal favorite—cow bells—from their family and friends.
I cheered loudly as Dean and then Amy marched across the stage. It was almost the end of the ceremony before Landon’s name was called. I cheered as loud as I could, noticing the Goldsmith clan cheering too, along with Amy’s family
. Landon’s parents clapped sedately. I waved as Landon exited the stage and he smiled broadly. We had succeeded in finishing strong. No matter what happened from here, we would take that with us.
Walking to my car, happy families were clustered around me, talking about graduation parties, presents, and vacations. I never had any of that. Mom did her best, but until the past few months, we had barely made it. I knew that, because of meeting me, Landon wouldn’t have any of those things either. He certainly would have before, but now he was effectively kicked out of his home. I should have felt guilty, but I was too proud of the man he’d become. What he’d gone through had made him more incredible than he already was.
At home, I changed into shorts and a tank top before I finished packing my suitcases and boxes. I didn’t have much to bring. I was renting a furnished one bedroom apartment. I had been able to secure a job at a private pool for the summer. This time I was looking forward to guarding and teaching lessons. If anything, this past summer showed me that even when I thought life would suck, really special people could change things around.
I began to lug my suitcases down to my car. Popping open the trunk, I heaved the heaviest one in first.
“Hey, short stuff. You really think that old Accord is gonna make it to Cali?” I froze. It was my nickname. I hadn’t heard him call me that since last summer—since before I knew he lied to me. Those two words signified so much. Our relationship was no longer teacher/student. The weight on my shoulders lifted, and I smiled before turning around.
He wore flip flops, cargo shorts and a faded green t-shirt. His favorite black baseball cap was on backwards, so I could fully appreciate the sparkle in his brown eyes. “Congratulations on your graduation.” I gave him a hug and he held me tightly against him. I couldn’t contain my sigh. He smelled like summer and woods. He was my Landon.
“Thank you for everything you said to me. That was the best graduation present I could ever get.” He pulled away and studied my face, so close I could feel his warm breath.
“I needed to be honest with you. Hell, I needed to be honest with myself for once. And I’m so glad you came to say goodbye, but I’ve got to get started driving, so I get a few hours in before it gets too dark.” I pulled back and turned to shove my suitcase further into the trunk. It was too hard having him here. I just needed to go.
“You can’t drive that thing to Cali, Em. It’s a three day drive. It won’t make it.” He reached into the trunk and pulled out my suitcase.
“Stop it.” I swatted his hand away. “I’ll be fine.”
He grinned at me mischievously and threw my case into the back of his truck.
“We’re taking my truck.” He popped the tailgate open and bags and boxes filled the bed. He grabbed another of my bags and threw it in. “More upstairs?”
I grabbed his forearm. “What are you doing, Land?”
“Well, first I’m driving us on our road trip to Cali. The Accord has seen her last days, and the truck will be much more comfortable and can hold all our shit. Second, I’m attending USC undergraduate college. And third, I’m going to hold onto you for the rest of my fucking life.” He winked and started up the stairs to my apartment.
My feet stayed glued to the sidewalk, and my mouth hung open for a full minute before I turned and ran up the stairs.
“Landon, what are you talking about…? USC? Are you for real?” I looked up at him with confusion.
“You know, Coach Stone wasn’t riding my ass ’cause he hated me all these years. He wanted to help me. And he did—he called in some favors. Turns out the football coach at USC likes guys who beat up bullies. He has a sister with some disabilities and told me he would have done the same thing if he saw someone picking on Billy like that. I don’t have a place on the team or a scholarship, but he gave me some pointers to get the loans worked out, and I’ve got a chance to show the coaches what I can do for them at walk-on tryouts. The head coach liked the footage Tommy sent enough that he got my applications approved fast.” Landon looked down at me with elation.
“Oh my God! We’re both going to USC?” I was still so confused, but the possibility of being with Landon was making me giddy.
“Wait. Landon, is this a good idea? I don’t want you doing this for me. I don’t want you to sacrifice what you want for me.” I panicked at the thought that he would one day resent me for any choices he made.
“Emma, I’m doing this for me. I lost out on IU, and I know now that’s because it wasn’t meant to be. I’ve waited all year to love you, and now we can be free to have a real relationship. I love you, Emma Harris. Let’s do this.” He stroked my face and I curled my head into his hand.
“Let’s do this.” I sighed, wanting nothing more in the world than Landon and his touch.
“Think I could crash with you for a while, Ms. Harris? I mean, since I’m following you across the county and all…” Landon winked at me and I pressed against him as he groaned.
“That depends, Mr. Washington. You’d better be a real hands-on roommate.” I jumped into his arms and wrapped my legs around his waist.
He held my face gently with both hands, one still wrapped from his break, and we hesitated, each knowing how long we had waited to share a kiss again. Landon leaned in slowly and softly kissed my upper lip and then my lower lip as I sighed and opened my mouth to him. Our lips joined, and I whimpered with pleasure when our tongues began to stroke and taste each other.
I became almost frantic with the emotion of the moment and the pleasure of the kiss. I pressed my body and lips against him, breathing deeply through my nose so that I didn’t have to stop the kiss for air. He must have picked up on my intensity, as he pressed back just as hard, crushing his mouth against mine. I could feel his chest heaving against me as we attempted to demonstrate to one another how hard the past months had been and how much our bodies missed their connection.
Our tongues tangled together and my body pulsed as I kneaded my hands over his arms and back. I couldn’t stop touching him. The blood roared in my ears, and my core tightened as Landon broke away and began pressing kisses to my neck and shoulders.
Landon pulled away with a groan. “We gotta go, Em. I can’t drive if I am too worked up. Let’s save it for the hotel room tonight…”
I protested loudly, making him chuckle as I slid down his body. Lightly touching my swollen lips, I grinned saucily. “More waiting, Land? It better be worth it.” I raised my eyebrows teasingly and winked, as he pulled me back against him.
“I’ve been thinking of nothing but tonight since school started. It WILL be worth the wait.” He kissed me again, hard and quick, on the lips and then we grabbed the rest of the boxes and loaded the truck. My mom pulled up as we finished securing the last boxes and bags.
“Well, what do we have here? My sweet Emma is going to California with you, Landon?” Mom’s smile nearly split her face in half as she watched Landon close the truck’s tailgate.
“Yes, ma’am. I got into USC as well. If you don’t mind, I was going to drive us in my truck, since it is a little more road-worthy than Emma’s car.” Landon pinched my arm lightly when I elbowed him in the rib cage for making fun of my trusty old car.
“Mind? I’m thrilled. I hated the thought of Emma driving there alone, but I couldn’t take time off work yet, and she couldn’t fly with all these boxes. Once again, Landon, you are right there when my family needs you most.” She reached over and hugged each of us in turn.
Watching my mom tenderly hug Landon reminded me of his cold-hearted parents. “What did your parents say when you told them?” I squeezed his arm as a look of sadness broke across his face.
“I haven’t.” Landon stared at the ground and then crossed his arms across his chest. “I will, don’t worry. I just… I’m so angry with them. They’ve never been there for me, but now when I really, really needed them—they threw me out. I’m not ready to tell them that I did it anyway. I got into a great school and I have a chance to play ball. My dad only want
s a relationship with me if I play football, and for a long time I bought into that so that I could have even some small form of a bond. But now? If I make the team at USC, it’s for me. It’s because I love to play football, and I’ll be the one working my tail off for the chance. It won’t be for my dad. Not ever again.”
I nodded, feeling every bit of Landon’s pain over his parents let down. I still felt that way over my own father’s actions, or lack thereof. Now, for the first time in my life, I realized that Landon and I could be there for each other. We could ease some of that hurt from those that wouldn’t be there for us. We didn’t have to be alone anymore. We chose each other.
I quickly kissed him on the cheek before mom and I exchanged our goodbyes. She openly cried as Landon lifted me into the truck and we pulled away. No matter what happened in my life, my mom had always been there, sacrificing and working for me and my sister. I could only strive to be that kind of mother one day.
The only thing that made it easier, as I watched her weeping in the parking lot, was that my mom now had Ernie. I’d bet money he was on his way over after graduation was cleaned up. And for the first time in 24 years—Mom could have some alone time with a man.
Driving off in Landon’s truck, I couldn’t help but laugh at how much everything had once again changed in a short amount of time. I was constantly surprised by life. I clasped Landon’s bandaged hand gently in both of mine as he looked down at me with a smile.
Landon drove his big truck with a confidence I found overwhelmingly sexy. I wanted him so badly I couldn’t look at him anymore without acknowledging my desire.
“You okay, Em?” Landon turned down the music as he cruised along the highway.
“I can’t believe this is happening. Are we really doing this?”
“You scared? It’s okay to be scared, you know.” He rubbed my hand protectively.
“I’m scared… and excited…” I bit my lip and looked out the window. We were on a two lane country highway, about to leave Indiana. It was now or never. I had spent the past year hiding my feelings for this guy. I needed to take what I learned from Evie, Trevor, Amy, and Billy and face my fears. I needed to be brave now and tell him my honest thoughts.
