by Laura Ward
“Landon, you really need to hear me. You did the right thing. What you did for Billy was awesome. Yes, I wish you didn’t beat Jared within an inch of his life, but that dickhead needed to be taught a lesson. I wish to God you didn’t break your hand or lose your scholarship, but you stood up for Billy when no one else did. In this town of fucking morons, you stood up and showed you are a good, good, man.”
I thought the torment on Landon’s face would split my heart in half. “Finish strong, Land. Walk through your final weeks at Zionsville with your head held high. Show those haters that you are better than them. Find a cute girl, go to Prom, dance, party, and have fun. No more regrets, just end this like the man you are.”
“I’m not going to Prom, Emma. That’s ridiculous.” Landon looked at me like I had two heads.
I shook my head in exasperation. “It’s ridiculous not to go to the prom. Don’t let those assholes take your high school memories away. You’re a man who can hold his head up high for doing the right thing. Screw the rest of them.”
Landon sighed. “This is so fucked up, isn’t it?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Yup—that may be the understatement of the year.”
“How about you? Dean told me you got into USC.” Landon rested his head back against the seat and spoke in a whisper.
I half-smiled, happy that at least one dream of mine was happening, but feeling guilt that he had none of that happiness right now. “Yeah, I got into their Graduate School of History. I’m psyched to get the hell out of Indiana. In fact, I’m leaving right after you all graduate.”
“Are you driving there?” He murmured, dejection etched across his face. Tears filled my eyes once again. The man sitting next to me was completely different than the boy I met this summer. Good things and bad things had changed him forever.
“Yeah, I’m taking a road trip to find myself again. I need it. I have to bring all my stuff anyway, so it makes sense to drive. I need to get away from all the negative shit that has happened since I came home.”
“It’s almost over, Em. Evie is happy and your mom has her new job. The next stage of your life is for you and you sure as hell deserve to enjoy it.”
“Thanks, Land. I will try. I don’t have a choice anymore, really. Neither of us do. We have to be better than all this. So, what about you? What are you going to do now? ”
Landon gave me a resigned half-grin. “I’m going to fucking finish strong.”
Proud of his strength even in the darkest times, I looked at him with a chuckle. “Oh, by the way… Mom just isn’t happy with her new job. She’s in love.”
“Really?” Landon smiled genuinely for the first time since I had seen him and sat up in his seat.
“You’ll never guess….” I raised my brows and Landon looked intrigued. “Principal Mahoney!”
“No shit! Well, he seems decent. I’m happy for your mom.”
“Me too.” We looked at each other for a long minute, processing again, that everyone else was allowed their happiness but us.
The rain had slowed to a drizzle, as I opened the door and jumped down. “Finish strong.”
Landon nodded, “You too.”
The wistful expressions on each of our faces said so much. We’d been through a lot but both knew the hardest part was yet to come.
***
THE SCHOOL NO longer had one pariah. Now, Landon Washington was the second most hated person at Zionsville Academy. Dean remained loyal, but it was easy to tell how devastated he was to not be playing ball at IU with his best friend. The rest of the football players wouldn’t speak to Landon. They couldn’t imagine someone with Landon’s talent throwing away a dream life over defending someone like Billy. The baseball players all sided with Jared and even the teachers looked at Landon with angry disappointment. The king of the jungle had truly fallen from this throne.
Since I had worked at the school, I had never seen Landon alone. Hell, he hadn’t been alone in the summer either. He was a friendly, popular guy—always surrounded by people—always in the center of the crowd. Now, he ate lunch alone and walked to class solo—by choice. Landon could have pretended everything was all right and hung with Dean and some of the other meat-heads, but he didn’t. He was sending a message—he just didn’t give a damn what they thought anymore.
It hurt to see him that way, but inside I was so proud. The man, no longer a boy, walked with determination and pride, his head held high. He didn’t show for one second that he was bothered or hurt by his shunning. He appeared to welcome it. Landon basically gave a silent but obvious and poignant, ‘Fuck You’, to the whole school.
I was so taken by his attitude that I considered him my new role model. I still ate lunch with Amy in my classroom, but I began to look my colleagues in the eye again and stared down any student who snickered at me. We could do this. We were better, and so much stronger, than their hate and judgment.
Prom took place one week before graduation. There were no seniors at school on the day of the dance. Everyone was busy getting their hair styled, makeup painted on, dressed to the nines, and photographed. Coach Stone gave me the heads-up that even the administration and staff dressed up for Prom. It was an important event for the entire school. A graduating class was cause for celebration. For some of these characters even graduating was an academic miracle. So, if I was told we should dress up, I was dressing up. Go big or go home.
I hurried home and slipped on a tight, gray dress. I curled my long hair and wore it down in lose waves. Staring at my reflection, I looked pretty good—at least on the outside. Inside, I was a mess.
No matter what happened to Landon’s reputation, he would find a date to Prom. And even though I was the one to suggest it, I was going to have to watch Landon dance with some hot girl, knowing that I would never have the chance to be held in his arms again. It was going to be a shitty night, and my nerves were rattled just imagining it. So, at the very least, I needed the confidence that came from looking good from my chaperone post.
As my mom pointed out, I had nothing left to lose. I could look as good as I wanted. I had only five days left of employment. So, I chose to rock my look tonight.
Evie walked into my bedroom as I finished the last of my makeup. Mom had picked her up from her apartment and brought her here to see me before I left for Prom. They both knew what a difficult night it would be for me.
“Hot lady! You look pretty!” She walked over to give me a huge hug. Standing up, I guided her to my bed where we sat, holding hands. I would miss her so much when I left.
“Thanks, Eves. Do you have a nightly report for me?” I hoped with all my heart that when I moved to California and she moved in with Garrett, we still took the time each day to share our reports. Evie looked like she was struggling to find the right words. Her brow was furrowed and she frowned at our entwined hands.
“Emma… you miss Landon?” Evie asked me quietly.
“Yeah, I do. I’m happy that Mom is dating Ernie and you have that wonderful man, Garrett. I wish I could date Landon and be like both of you. But it just isn’t the right timing. You know?”
Evie nodded and then turned to face me straight on. “You helpd me and Garrett to get togever. You help us date and movein.” I nodded, watching her explain her thought process to me as clearly as she possibly could. “You and Landon… I want you to be happy. Everybody has troubles…. it’s hard to love…. don’t…. don’t give up, Em.”
Evie took a deep breath as she finished, and I hugged her tightly to me. I got it. She knew that a relationship like the one she had with Garrett wasn’t easy—they had many obstacles to overcome. She saw that Landon and I had different obstacles, but obstacles nonetheless, and she wanted us to overcome them anyway. She wanted her sister to be happy like I wanted her to be happy. I was blessed to have a sibling who loved me so purely. Evie taught me every single day of her life that love was worth it.
Life Lesson: Never give up on those you love.
As I drove
to Prom, I couldn’t help but think how much the last year had marked me. I moved back to Indiana bitter and resentful. With how the school year had ended, I would have thought I would leave again even angrier. But I had changed.
Landon taught me to trust. Even after his lie, he proved time and time again that he cared for me and wanted to be different. I could leave here knowing we were both better people and certainly stronger. I just wished I could leave knowing Landon would be okay. What would happen to him? Where would he live? Would he find his happiness again?
The ballroom of the local Embassy Suites was decked out in decorations. The prom committee had done a wonderful job. Hundreds of white balloons hung from the ceiling. Each table was decorated in white and gold with coordinating balloon centerpieces. The chairs were covered in white with gold bows on the back, and a sparkling disco ball rained colored lights onto the dance floor. It was everything a prom was supposed to be.
Tables of finger food were laid out, along with a bowl of punch. There was an ice sculpture of a couple dancing and a chocolate fountain in the corner surrounded by goodies to dip. No one seemed interested in eating, though, as the seniors ran in, screaming and hugging each other as everyone checked out one another’s tuxedos and gowns.
“You’re looking good enough to eat.” Ford sauntered up in a badly fitted, cheap suit and my stomach rolled.
“I wouldn’t even waste your time. Move along.”
“I see you’ve decided not to take my advice. That’s a shame. Just know I’ll be watching you and your ‘friend’ real close tonight. Maybe it’s time to place a call to the school board? Or channel two news? Everyone loves a story about a sinfully gorgeous teacher who takes advantage of her hot headed, misguided student.” Ford ran a hand down my arm and I jumped back.
“You need to back off right now. I’ve got a mind to call the school board on you, Ford.” Dean stood behind Ford, looking classy in his tuxedo but disgusted with his teacher.
“Or what, Goldsmith?” Ford turned to Dean with an arrogant snarl on his face. “Little shitheads like you don’t scare me.”
“You should be scared, Ford, because I heard the most interesting story. Turns out Stephanie’s cousin, Jennie, substitute teaches occasionally at school. She told me you and she got it on in your office. Is that true? ’Cause that sounds like some classic pink slip stuff to me.”
Ford swallowed and glared at Dean and then me. But he stayed silent.
“Walk away, Ford. Walk away now,” Dean barked and I chuckled. My, my how times had changed. From the beginning of the year when Dean had been driving me crazy and Ford intimidated him, to Ford spreading rumors and Dean standing up for me. How many ways could I be wrong about people in such a short time?
“Thanks.” I smiled gratefully at Landon’s best friend and he shrugged.
“No problem. Just doing my part. He hurt you and he hurt my boy. Not cool.” And with that, Dean was off twerking with the rest of his buddies. I couldn’t hold back my laughter watching them. They loved to create a buzz, but they were actually really good guys.
I was anxious to see Landon and know he was here and feeling okay. I also looked around excitedly for Amy. She was beside herself with joy over this night. We had spent many lunches talking about her dress, shoes, makeup, hair, and the corsage her mom had ordered for her.
I was so proud of her for attending on her own. Amy had a strength of character that others without any “challenges” lacked. Meeting her had been the best part of my time at Zionsville Academy. One of my favorite songs from Maroon Five, Love Somebody, the one that had gotten Trevor to jump in the water with Landon, came on and I started to dance in place while I watched the seniors flock to the dance floor.
As I waved to a few seniors I taught, people’s attention were drawn away from the dance floor. Dean stopped dancing with his date, smiled, and saluted to someone walking in. I arched my neck, looking past the crowd to see who was entering the room, garnering all this attention.
It was Landon. He looked dapper in his black tuxedo and silver tie. His hair was gelled to a spiky perfection and, best of all, he was smiling in that sinfully delicious way I loved. But it wasn’t until I saw his date that I really knew, once and for all, how much I loved everything about the man Landon Washington had become.
Looking prouder and happier than I had ever seen, albeit a bit nervous, Amy clutched Landon’s arm. He leaned down to whisper to her and she grinned, waving to the room. They were truly the most wonderful couple I had ever seen and the sight of them stopped the entire ballroom. There wasn’t a sneer or a joke, not a laugh or a gasp, just the welcoming eyes and faces of teenagers who finally realized that being cool was more about how you spend your time on this earth than how you look doing it.
Wiping my eyes, I hurried over. “Amy, you look stunning!” I kissed her cheek and took in her floor length, tight pink satin gown. Her blond bob was curled and pulled up into a bun. She wore sparkly glitter on her face and shoulders and bright pink lipstick.
“She’s the most gorgeous girl here.” Landon smiled warmly at Amy and then looked at me with sparkling eyes. “You, of course, are the most beautiful woman here.” I grinned as he looked at me from head to toe. His eyes darkened in the way that made my pulse race and I took an involuntary step back.
“You did so good, Land. So, so good,” I murmured as my eyes continued to well. He saw the pride on my face and nodded.
“Amy, will you dance with me?” Landon asked.
“Sure!” Amy giggled, and Landon escorted her onto the dance floor.
As they danced to fast and slow songs alike, classmates came over to greet them both. Several girls hugged Landon emotionally. And even some of Landon’s football teammates stopped to shake his good hand or clasp his shoulder, almost every one of them telling Amy she looked beautiful.
Landon showed everyone in the room that night that he had learned what was truly important in life, and he wasn’t afraid to sacrifice his own interests for others. If I had ever doubted Landon’s growth or maturity, I never would again.
The look of pure joy on Amy’s face as she danced, ate, and laughed with Landon would stay with me the rest of my life. As Prom wound down for the night, we watched Dean and Stephanie being crowned King and Queen of the prom. I felt sure I wasn’t the only person in the room to realize the real royalty was Amy and Landon.
***
THE SENIORS WERE finished with classes as of Prom, so the school seemed pretty empty the week leading up to graduation. My freshmen students had begun to call themselves sophomores and carried the swagger that came with no longer being the babies of the school. As my last day of teaching ended, I fondly said goodbye to my students. Packing up the final boxes in my classroom, I was ready for my next journey.
“Ms. Harris?” Billy shifted back and forth in my doorway.
“Hi, Billy. I’m so glad you stopped by. I wanted to congratulate you on becoming a junior. And I wanted to say goodbye.”
Billy looked around the room, avoiding any eye contact with me. “I know. I wanted to say goodbye too and thanks.” Billy studied his Velcro shoes as I walked over to him. I knew Billy wasn’t comfortable with any touch at all; he wouldn’t even be comfortable shaking hands, so I climbed onto the desk near him and sat on top.
“Why do you want to thank me, Billy? I wanted to thank you for being such a hard working team manager.”
The flush deepened on his cheeks. “I wanted to thank you for the headphone idea.” Billy pushed his glasses up higher on his nose and began to study the ceiling. “I really liked managing the team, Ms. Harris. But, the noise was too distracting. You figured it out and helped me. Not many others do that.”
I grinned as he continued to study the ceiling tiles, no doubt counting them as we spoke. “No problem, Billy. I’m glad you stuck with it. The spreadsheets you created for recording times and distance are fantastic. I hope you manage the team next year, too. I mean… what I really want to say is that I hope you
don’t let guys like Jared stop you.”
Billy shuffled his feet and nervously laughed. “I won’t let him stop me. You know, even after that fight Landon and Dean got the football team together to talk to me. They asked me to be the varsity football team manager next fall. And, the juniors that are now seniors—well, they swore to them that they would protect me and not let me get picked on. So, I’m kinda like one of the guys now.”
Then Billy slowly, painfully, forced himself to look me straight in the eyes. “He really is awesome, Ms. Harris.”
I blinked back my tears, both from Billy’s great effort to communicate with me and Landon’s gesture of protection. “Yeah, he really is, Billy.” Attempting to swallow the boulder sized lump in my throat, we waved goodbye.
As I watched him walk out of the room, I realized Billy had taught me a lot this school year, too. Billy seemed to know that he was picked on because people never took the time to understand him. When he brought paper towels to Jared after Jared had humiliated him in front of a crowd of boys, he showed all of us that he was braver and stronger than the biggest athlete at the school. He persevered through his personal challenges and was courageous in the face of cruelty. Billy stood up, kept going, and forgot about anyone that tried to put obstacles in his way.
I envied him.
The graduation ceremony would take place on the football field. Hundreds of white folding chairs filled the field and the stage was set up with a podium and balloons. The seemingly endless spring showers were over and the day was glorious. The sun was shining, puffy white clouds filled the blue sky, and the unmistakable aroma of freshly cut grass filled the air. I arrived in time to see the seniors in their caps and gowns, lining up in alphabetical order for their big entrance. Families were saving seats and taking pictures in groups all over the field.
