“Well since you put it like that, I guess I am going to the beach with Andre.” He smugly responded.
“Your license plate should say, BRRRRRR. ”
“What does that mean?” Kerrion asked.
“The driver is a cold piece of work.” He answered.
Kerrion managed to crack a smile at that last comment. Andre was making him feel something that he was scared of feeling, but he had no idea how to turn it off. The attitude and sarcasm wasn’t pushing him away like it usually did with other guys, so that mechanism of defense has obviously failed. And the more he thought about it, the two of them really haven’t had any type of physical intimacy. Under other circumstances Andre should be a distant memory if there was no sex, but there is something different about him.
“So how many guys have you been with?” Andre asked.
“Here we go.” He said rolling his eyes.
“Fair is fair.”
“True. Well to be honest, I have been with my share of men. I was in a relationship for two years and when it ended I was deva-dam-stated. So I decided to live for me and me alone. I partied, I met people, I fucked people, and I left people.”
“So are you still going through that phase of your life?”
“I really don’t know. I am nothing like I used to be believe it or not; but I am also not about to go through what I’ve been through in the past.”
“Did he cheat on you?”
Kerrions’ demeanor shifted. The question threw him back to a time in his life that he constantly prays to forget. He glanced into the rearview mirror and saw the scar that was embedded on the upper right side of his forehead. A constant reminder of what love did to him and how it felt to be the one that was not in control.
“That’s an understatement.” He softly said.
“I understand. No need to discuss it any further.”
“Thanks. But that was then and this is now.” He said trying to regain his composure.
“So have you ever been…” Andre paused, testing the waters not knowing if it was an appropriate question to ask.
“Been what?” Kerrion asked, while making eye contact with another car load of young gay boys driving next to them.
“Never mind.”
“OK. Pet-peeve number one. Don’t ever start to ask me something and then leave me hanging. I will cuss you out for that.”
“You cuss about everything else, so what would one more thing matter.” Andre responded.
“Oh, so you do have balls.” He sarcastically stated.
“Bigger than you think. Let me get one thing straight with you right off the bat. I may be dealing with my sexuality issues, but I will kill a motherfucker over what’s mine. I’m not one of those weak brothers that’s all talk, I can back my shit up. Know that for sure, aiiight.” He gave Kerrion a stern look. He wanted him to be confident in knowing that he wasn’t blowing smoke up his ass and was serious about his statement. “Now, back to the question. I was going to ask if you have ever been tested for HIV.”
Kerrion looked over at Andre with a newfound revelation. One thing he loved was to be with someone that had his back if some shit ever broke out. “Well, in that case. Yes, I have. And yes, I am clean. And for the record, I haven’t had sex, meaning penetration, in eight months and counting.”
“So the booty is tight?” Andre asked with an extremely sensual stare.
Kerrion chuckled and couldn’t believe that he was actually being interrogated about his anatomy. But at the same time he thought it quite interesting that Andre would be so concerned with the topic of diseases. The last guy he tried to date was so ignorant to HIV and AIDS that it turned him totally off. He couldn’t understand how someone in the gay lifestyle could have no insight on a virus that was known for killing gay men, especially black ones.
“Yes. The booty is tight,” he coyly answered.
Andre reached over and firmly grabbed Kerrion’s hand. He looked at him, smiled and hoped that he would see some sign of the walls coming down. He knew that he had been hurt just by his body language, sarcastic demeanor, and how he kept his distance. He also knew that this man was someone that he wanted to get to know better and hopefully help remove some of his past pain.
Kerrion felt his space being invaded, like someone was swinging a pick-axe trying to break through his brick wall, but in his heart he felt that it was time for him to move on in life and allow someone to treat him like he deserved to be treated. Fear of being hurt was one thing, but total avoidance of what could be a positive situation was another. He let out a deep breath and allowed his hand to be held. As he continued to drive the rest of the way, he made a conscious effort to not let his past ruin his future; a future that he wanted to be filled with peace, happiness, and a love that he could call his own.
*****
Lauren laid a few different outfits on the bed to see what she was in the mood for. She was excited to be back in L.A and couldn’t wait to get out into the city. Her girls were already en route to pick her up, so she could waste too much time figuring out what look she was going to go with. As Jay-Z boomed from the stereo, she chose a denim Baby-Phat mini-dress and a pair Coach sandals; she saw no need in covering her fresh pedicure. She clipped her hair up into a makeshift ponytail, dabbed on some MAC lip glass, and applied a mist of Jessica McClintock perfume to finalize the vibe she was feeling.
Vanessa was downstairs listening to Yolanda Adams, pausing for moments at a time to give God thanks. She was also busy thinking about what food she could prepare on tomorrow that would feed the masses. Lauren had volunteered her home to be the after-church hangout spot for her friend and their friends. As she sat on the living room floor spraying cleaner on the coffee table, a shift in her spirit occurred. A feeling came over her that something was about to take place. She recognized when God was signaling her to pray, and with that urging she began to speak to her Heavenly Father.
“Momma, why don’t you hire a maid?” Lauren asked as she entered the room.
“Because I can’t afford one; I’m too busy flying people to and from school.”
“There you go. I came to see you for the holiday weekend and you don’t even care.”
“Girl please, you ain’t thinking about me. You’re just like your brother; ya’ll only remember I exist when you need something.” Vanessa said.
“Momma, you know that is not true.” She said as she walked over and sat on the couch behind her mother. “We call you all the time, but you only remember the phone calls that require your assistance.”
“Maybe because your assistance phone calls, seem to last a lot longer than your hello ones. Anyway, I am not about to go around in circles about this, where are you off to Lauren?”
Her eyes glowed with excitement as she prepared to run down her agenda for the day. “OK, first we’re going to P.F. Chang’s for lunch and to catch up on things; then we’re heading to the Century City Mall to pick up a few items. After that, we’re coming back here, changing clothes, and heading to The House of Blues on Sunset to see Jagged Edge in concert.”
“How did you get concert tickets when you just found out you were coming home two days ago?” Vanessa asked in confusion.
“OK, long story short. Tamara’s cousin is one of their bodyguards and he worked it out for us, backstage passes and all. So, if all goes according to plan, I may hook up with one of the twins; but that’s neither here nor there.” She said waving her hand in the air like the mini diva she was. “And then after that we will probably just go to Roscoe’s and get a bite to eat.”
“Do you plan on getting up tomorrow and going to church?”
“Of course. The Christening is tomorrow. Besides I need to go and see Malik play those drums. He is one of the finest brothers I know. ”
“Lauren?”
“Well, he is cute momma. Would you rather I look at the soprano section instead? I don’t think you need two in the family?” she let out a mild sigh before she continued, “Why don’t you say
something to him?”
“It’s going to get worked out. I already gave it to God.”
“Did he tell you about his dream?”
“What dream?”
“Well, I’m no prophetess or interpreter, but I can say that it sounds like something has starting to tap him on the shoulder.”
“Just keep him in your prayers.”
“I do every day. I love my brother, and I like Tyrin, but they are too gorgeous to be gay. There are two lonely women out there waiting to get married, and they’re denying them of that. Aren’t you tired of him being gay?”“So I take it you have money.” Vanessa asked, ignoring the last question. Lauren took the hint and left the topic alone. She leaned in and wrapped her arms around her body in an endearing manner; trying her best to see if Vanessa would fall into her princess trap. “Nope, so let go of me.”
“What do you mean no, I haven’t asked you for anything. I just wanted a hug. I love my mommy.”
“Lauren do you really think that trick is going to work?”
“It used too. I’m confused now, what’s going on here?” She said with a look of bewilderment.
The doorbell rang and Lauren leaped off the couch with the excitement of a child on Christmas morning. As she ran to the door, she yelled back to her mother, “I’ll give you time to think it over, mommy that I love.” Vanessa heard the excited screams of the girls and prepared herself for their greeting. She stood in the middle of the floor trying to figure out who would be the bigger fool; her for giving Lauren money; or Lauren for going with her friends with no money at all.
The girls entered the room and gave Vanessa hugs and kisses. They were already starting to catch up with each other when Vanessa called Lauren over to her. “Go upstairs and get four hundred dollars out of my wallet.” Lauren smiled, gave her a hug and told the girls she would be right back.
“Ya’ll ready.” Lauren asked as she ran back downstairs clutching her black Coach bag.
“You know it girl.” They all responded in their own little way.
“Can you ladies please be careful?” Vanessa said.
“Yes mom. We’ll be safe, don’t worry.” they all replied. Lauren walked over, gave her a kiss on the cheek, and headed out the door with her friends. Vanessa stood in the doorway and watched the girls pile into the car. She sent up a prayer of protection on their behalf and walked back into the house. She closed the door behind her and joined Yolanda in singing, “The battle is the Lord’s.”
EIGHT
“Where in the hell is Kerry?” Khalil asked while scanning the shore for any sign of his friend.
“Why don’t you call him on his cell phone?” Spencer asked.
“I’ve been trying but he must have it turned off because I keep getting his voice mail.”
“You know he’s going to be here. This is something he wouldn’t dare miss, so just be patient, baby.” Tyrin said as he sipped on his cocktail.
As the day went on and more people flooded the sandy Malibu shore, familiar faces started to appear out of nowhere. Khalil saw old acquaintances from high school and college. Tyrin came across Craig’s ex-girlfriend, who was now in a loving relationship with a beautiful woman.
They saw people they used to go on double dates with that were now single. Of course with each old face there was also a dramatic story attached to it. Many of the young kids that came out when Tyrin and Khalil first got together, now looked twice their age; and they could obviously see that the club scene had played a toll on their youth. He listened to the stories one by one and exchanged hugs of love and support. Khalil thanked God that he was able to avoid most of the drama and was in a relationship that most gay men would kill for.
“It’s about damn time I found y’all. Do you have any idea how many fucking people are out here!” Kerrion shouted as he and Andre walked towards the crowd of friends. “Shit, I’m ready to take my ass back home. This is some bullshit. We had to park damn near in Oakland, then cart our asses to the shuttle stop; wait fifteen damn minutes for the bitch to come and then walk the entire west coast shore looking for you guys.” Kerrion said with extreme frustration.
“Why didn’t you call us from your cell?” Khalil asked.
“I forgot to charge the motherfucker. I turned the shit on and it cut right the fuck off.”
“Well all that aside, we’re glad you made it. Do you want something to drink?” Tyrin asked.
“No I’m cool.”
“What about you man?” Tyrin asked Andre.
“No, I’m good, just glad to finally be sitting down.” Andre answered.
“I am so sorry. Everybody, this is Andre. That’s Brian, this is the infamous couple Tyrin and Khalil, and that’s Spencer, you remember him from last weekend, right?” Kerrion asked.
“Yeah I do, good to see you again man. It’s nice to meet the rest of you as well.”
“Is this your first time at L.A Pride?” Brian asked.
“Actually it is. I’m a late bloomer.”
“Well, better late than never. Like Tyrin said, we’re glad you’re here and we hope you enjoy the rest of the festivities.” Khalil said.
“Did ya’ll go out last night?” Tyrin asked them.
“Yeah, and that was an experience, to say the least. I’ve heard about L.A. Black Pride weekend, but what I saw last night was really unexpected. All the people and the line to even get into the club was crazy. It took us almost an hour to get inside. The music was off the chain though, I love to dance and the D.J. was tight.” Andre said.
“Tonight is going to be just as packed. But at least the lobby at the Hilton gives you a place to breathe.” Spencer said.
“Speaking of tonight, I need you to straighten my hair.” Khalil said to Spencer with a plastic smile on his face.
“Bitch you crazy. I’m going to be tired after I get through baking under this hot ass sun. I was planning on taking a nap and then getting dressed to go out.” Spencer said.
“This so called nap you plan on taking is going to be at my house anyway. So while you’re there, just do me this little favor.”
“Favor? Bitch, that ain’t no favor, that’s labor. Do you know how long your curly ass hair is? And on top of that, I would be doing it for free. Hell no, it ain’t happening.” Spencer dug his feet into the sand and waved at one of the cute boys that walked by.
”You know you are going to do it, so stop tripping before I beat your ass.” Khalil said as he reached into the ice chest.
“Beat my ass? You’ll miss the after party, because I ain’t no easy win. You better get your bitch in order Tyrin; get your bitch, is all I got to say.” Spencer said as he rolled his eyes.
“Don’t pay them any attention; this is how they show love for each other.” Kerrion explained to Andre.
As the music from the main stage serenaded the festival, it created an atmosphere of love and unity. Everywhere you looked you saw happiness. From the couples that sat hand in hand on their blankets talking and holding each other; to the children that came with their same sex parents for a day of fun in the sun. This moment was when everyone that had ever been hurt because of their sexuality could somehow throw all of their pains into the crashing waves and start fresh with the retraction of the tide.
No one here ever wanted to be hurt, abandoned, or made to feel like they didn’t belong; but as the cruelty of mainstream society would have it, that was something almost all gays had endured at one time or another. The beach party was not just a gay thing; it was an escape from the world and all the people that don’t want gays in it. Despite the competition amongst the gay hierarchy, if you were here, you were in a place full of the people that accepted you for who you are and not who you love.
*****
“You’re kidding!” Andre exclaimed.
“What?” Kerrion confusedly asked.
“This is their house?” he continued, as he stared in awe through the windshield.
“Yes it is. And please act like you are used to this
, even if you aren’t.” Kerrion begged.As the Range Rover pulled into the garage, Kerrion parked in the driveway next to Spencer’s black Lexus GS. Andre sat and gawked at the beautiful white structure that was home to two Black gay men of substance. He got out of the car and admired the perfectly landscaped desert shrub courtyard that led to the main entrance of the home.
“Come on Andre.” Kerrion said, looking at him from over the roof of the car. “I’m really not used to this kind of stuff and I don’t want to embarrass you.” He leaned in and whispered back.
Kerrion closed his door, walked over to him and grabbed his hands. He looked directly into his eyes and with the comforting voice of a parent talking to their child on the first day of pre-school, said, “It’s just a house made of wood, glass and tile, that’s all. It’s just that their wood has probably been treated to protect from salt-water erosion. The glass has been glazed and protected to withstand a Tsunami; and the floor tile actually heats up, not like the tile that causes frostbite on winter mornings.” He smiled at him, still looking into his eyes. “If you’re nervous now, just wait until you get inside.” he said squeezing his hands as a sign of support.
“Gee, thanks.” he said.
“No problem. Can we go in now?”
“I really have no choice do I?”
“Nope.”
“Then let’s do this, man.” he replied with a Chris Tucker impersonation.
Andre followed Kerrion like a lost puppy as they walked through garage and into the game room that housed the pool table, fully stocked wet bar, and arcade style Ms. Pac Man and Galaga games. He noticed pictures of the couple that must have been taken on various trips and outings. There were pictures of them in the snow, at the beach, on a cruise, and a really magnificent photo of them on a cliff at what seems to have been their commitment ceremony. He was in awe by what he had seen so far and the rest of the house was sure to make him go weak in the knees. He took a deep breath and proceeded to follow Kerrion out of the room and upstairs onto the main floor.
Upstairs, everyone was busy getting themselves ready to relax. When Khalil noticed Andre and Kerrion enter the room he tried his best to make Andre feel welcome and at home. He was a little apprehensive; first when he noticed Tosha looking suspiciously at him; and second when it was time to sit on the costly looking furniture. Even though Khalil overemphasized the fact that she was well trained and wouldn’t bite, to play it safe he opted to step outside with Tyrin who was about to light the grill for Khalil.
The End of the Rainbow Page 10
