The End of the Rainbow

by Dontá Morrison

  He walked outside and was taken aback by the view it provided. The ocean breeze kissed his face and the sound of crashing waves created the perfect ambiance. He looked over the balcony and saw people jogging along the shore, or taking their dogs on an evening walk. The colors of the sunset were warm and beautiful, forcing him to stare directly at its tranquil smile. He was beyond impressed, and although he knew this was a long way away from his current salary, the hope it provided was unmatched.

  “So, are you having a good time?” Tyrin asked as he poured coals into the grill.

  “Man, I’m having a ball. I can’t believe how cool everyone has been. And in all honesty I am amazed at your house. I never thought two brothers could live like this.”

  “Yeah well, once you have found the person that you want to be with for the rest of your life, and actually sit down and talk everything out; what you want, what they want, what you will and will not put up with; then it can honestly happen.”

  “I just never thought relationships in this lifestyle had any type of life expectancy.” He shrugged.

  “They usually don’t, but I consider myself lucky.”

  “You got that right, look at this crib, and I haven’t even seen the rest of it.”

  “Dre. I would be with Khalil in a studio apt in Compton. Don’t get me wrong, I love this house and the things inside of it, but my love for him surpasses the material.”

  “I feel you. I would love to have something like that. I guess seeing the two of you has given me a newfound hope in gay relationships that I never dreamed possible.”

  “Glad I could help little brother. Now don’t get it twisted, there are going to be days when you are going to have fights and disagreements, but as long you realize that it is just a fight, and not a reason to end what you have worked so hard to build, you more than likely will make it. The reason a lot of couples split is because they don’t want to go through the rough times that are bound to happen before the good times start to flourish.”

  “Well, what about public opinion?” Andre asked.

  “What about it? The public is going to talk about you regardless. If you were with a woman and abusing her, they would talk. If you were a deadbeat dad, they would talk. You have to make up in your mind that you don’t care about what the public has to say. I have been called every derogative name in the book because of my sexuality. But look at my house. Look at my ride. Look at my business. Hell, look at my working relationship with a man. Everything that people said I wouldn’t have, I got. So my motto is, ‘Fuck em’, plain and simple.”

  Andre grinned and told Tyrin he liked his motto. They watched the flames grow on the grill and as Tyrin shared more of his relationship pointers with his newfound mentee, his student listened attentively as if he was being given the code to the meaning of life.

  Spencer sat on the couch watching a movie, making a concerted effort not to doze off. He knew that if he went to sleep there would be no flat ironed hair and maybe not even an after party. Khalil and Kerrion were in the kitchen getting dinner together. Khalil was like a head chef as he ordered Kerrion around; instructing him to wash lettuce, cut tomatoes and slice cucumbers. He also used this time as an opening for conversation about Andre. He wanted to make sure that Kerry was not being his normal crude self and pushing yet another opportune suitor away.

  “So talk to me.” Khalil said.

  “About what?”

  “What’s wrong with this one? Let me hear it.” He stated, as he poured yellow rice into the cooker.

  “I don’t think it’s him, I think it’s me. I have issues. I can’t shake the past and it’s really starting to get on my nerves. There is actually nothing wrong with him. He’s polite, seems to really be interested in the things I talk about, and from what I can tell he is an honest guy that isn’t trying to play games. He even told me that he would have come down here to visit even if it wasn’t Pride weekend. And did you see how he hovered over me at the beach, like he was protecting me from something.” He said with a subtle smile that unexpectedly slipped out.

  “But? What’s your excuse this time?” Khalil asked, sensing that Kerrion had some apprehensions about the situation.

  “They are all like that in the beginning. I mean honestly, brothers come across as God’s gift when you first meet them. They reel you in like a fish on a hook, and then throw you into the hot ass frying pan. I just can’t go through that again, I refuse to. Fuck that shit. I’m still keeping my options open, because I will never be that dumb again for another man.”” Kerrion said, snapping himself out of bliss and back into defense mode.

  Khalil momentarily overlooked his outburst and finished preparing the shrimp skewers. He took caution in his response to Kerrion’s bitter display of emotions because he wasn’t in the mood to deal with the aftermath of pushing the wrong buttons. As they both moved throughout the kitchen like men on a mission, he finally had his thoughts together and decided it was now or never. “You need to get over Jamar, and you need to get over him right here and right now. He is eating you up and causing you to become a person that you hate. You are turning into a mean and closed in bitch. And if you don’t put him behind you, you will be alone for the rest of your life. What he did to you was not your fault, and it’s not the fault of anyone else that you may meet. Where is Jamar now?”

  “What?” Kerrion asked.

  “Please, don’t play coy. I asked you where is Jamar.”

  “How in the hell should I know?” He snapped.“Exactly. He is off somewhere living his life and fucking up someone else’s, just like he fucked you up. I have stood by and watched you date a countless number of men since the two of you broke up, and not all of them have been bad. You have had guys ready to give you the world, but instead of clinging on to the happiness that someone else was trying to offer you, you chose to spit on them and run away. If you would have just laid low for at least a couple of months and gotten in touch with yourself again, you probably would have gotten over him the proper way.”

  “And what is the proper way, Mr. Have all the fucking answers?” Kerrion sarcastically asked.

  “I don’t care if you get pissed off at me, because you will just have to get over it. You needed to heal and I told you that over and over. Instead, you wanted to run the streets, hit the clubs, bars, and all of the other spots. I told you to just stay home and get to know you, and find out what you wanted, so you wouldn’t get caught up again. How many guys have you been with since him?” Khalil looked at him and noticed that his eyes were beginning to water up, but he couldn’t stop talking because this was something that he needed to hear. “Exactly. You don’t know do you? I have watched you go from, Black to Mexican to Puerto Rican to White and Black again. Your ass has gone full circle, literally. You allowed Jamar to become your pimp, because you clearly turned into a whore after he left you.”

  “How could you say that about me?” he softly asked in disbelief.

  “Would I be lying? Now what if you have met Mr. Right, and he is outside with Tyrin as we speak?” he watched a tear stream down his face and knew that he had touched a spot that needed to be touched. Sometimes tough love is what a person needs to get them back on the right track, or at least get them to look in the mirror.

  “Baby, any beer left?” Tyrin asked as he walked into the kitchen and headed towards the fridge.

  Andre stood by the entrance of the kitchen next to Tosha and sensed that something was being discussed that the two of them should not have interrupted. He looked at Kerrion and saw the redness in his eyes and under his breath he mouthed the words, “Are you alright?” Kerrion looked at him and lowered his head and tried to blink away any excess moisture. He struggled to gain his composure before he looked up at him. He offered a weak smile and mouthed, “I’m OK.”

  “What’s going on?” Tyrin asked, as he held the two Sapporo’s in his hand.

  “Nothing, we’re cool, just cutting onions. Is the grill lit?” Khalil asked.

  “Yep,
all yours. We’re going downstairs. I’m about to whoop Dre’s ass in some pool. I told him he ain’t ready for me, but he insists on being embarrassed. Kerry, you better tell your boy nobody beats me in my own house. Oh, by the way, you may want to throw some cold water on Spencer, because his ass is out like a light.” Tyrin said as he walked out of the kitchen and Tosha followed him. Andre gave Kerrion one last smile before turning to follow the host that was determined to beat him in a game he loved to play.

  “You’re going to be OK.” Khalil said.

  “I know.”

  “Don’t let Jamar win, you owe it to yourself.”

  “I know.”

  “And from what my mother keeps on telling me, you haven’t stopped praising God. So, why haven’t you danced him under your feet? He is in the same boat as Satan, isn’t he? And according to the word of God, greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world. So what you need to do is come against the enemy, and put all your pain, hurt, anger and bitterness into God’s hands, and watch what happens. Let that fool go.”

  “Don’t start preaching. I’ll tear your floor up shouting, Mr. Anointed-but-running-from-his-calling.”

  “Whatever. And I highly doubt you will tear up my floor, do you know how much it cost?”

  The two embraced and Khalil kept on assuring him that it was all going to work out for the good. They finished preparing the salad,

  grilled the shrimp & vegetable skewers, steamed the rice, and set the table. The five men sat around the dinner table enjoying each other’s company and rehashing the events of the day. They knew that the rest of the night would bring more stories and they all were eager about attending the after party which was sure to be a comedic experience.

  *****

  The Hilton, one of the finer hotels near LAX, was now home to the gay brothers from, and visiting Los Angeles. One night a year, the illustrious hotel was overrun by gay men seeking a night of reckless abandon. Most of these men didn’t fit the stereotype of homosexuality. They were the brothers you would’ve sworn loved pussy –some still did- and everything attached to it. The range in appearance stemmed from men that looked like they just finished doing a drive-by in South Central Los Angeles; all the way to the beat faced queens that appeared to be fresh off a Christian Dior runway. With all of the diversity in the room, one thing was certain; the men here were all dick loving, ass humping, gay men. Some may have a girl or wife on the side; some may even have a couple of kids; but best believe they also had a few dudes scattered throughout town.

  Khalil was standing at the base of the grand staircase holding an apple martini, talking to Spencer about nothing in particular. His hair was straightened to perfection, parted down the center, and gently resting on the back of his Hermes leather jacket. As the two of them conversed, a group of noisy, overdressed young queens came and stood in front of them. The leader of the coven began a conversation with Khalil and shared how he was on the prowl for a man he could fuck for the night. Khalil observes that the young beginner has no flavor whatsoever, but for entertainment purposes asks what type of dude he’s looking for. As the kid surveyed the room for a possible suitor, his eyes stop on a brother at the bar.

  The gentleman picks up his drink, carefully makes his way through the crowd, and heads in their direction. As he walks toward them, his young admirer begins to fix his attire in preparation for the encounter. You can feel the excitement in the fellas, because to the best of their knowledge, he is coming to set their world on fire. Khalil and Spencer try not to let out a chuckle of laughter, but the scene is becoming more comedic with each passing second.

  The chocolate brother has a casual and controlled walk that is sexy and seductive. He gets closer, cracks a gorgeous smile and kindly says, “Excuse me.” to the quartet of young new-gays.

  “Wassup?” The young man says with sly anticipation.

  “Can I get by please?”

  “What?” The leader asks in obvious confusion.

  “Move your young ass out the way, shit!” Tyrin exclaims with a scowl and a flinch of his body.

  He steps through and looks at the young boy like he is stupid. Khalil looks at them and with a shrug of his shoulders he says, “You did make a good choice, you’re just five years too late. Sorry.” The guy rolls his eyes and makes a motion for his clique to follow. As they walk away Khalil hears one of them say, “He was too dark anyway.”

  “What was that all about?” Tyrin asks.

  “Just some girls in training.” Spencer answers.

  “What are you drinking, baby?” Khalil asks Tyrin.

  “A Long Island. Want some?”

  “Nah, I’m cool on that one. I got to get up in the morning for church.”

  “Oh yeah, that is tomorrow isn’t it.” Tyrin said.

  “Church? Bitch, when you start going back to church?” Spencer asked.

  “I didn’t. My cousin is dedicating her baby tomorrow and I have to show my support.”

  “Oh. You going too Tyrin?”

  “Nah. Church ain’t my thing. Never has been, never will be. Sunday is my day to do what the hell I want to do, and not follow the masses to a place that judges.”“OK. All of the extras were a little unnecessary, don’t you think.” Khalil said to Tyrin.

  “Baby you know what I mean. I just don’t do church, that’s all.”

  “Anyway. The last time I had a Long Island I threw up all over myself, remember that Spencer?”

  “Do I? Hell yeah I remember. I’m the one that had to carry your drunken ass up two flights of stairs and clean that shit off of you.”

  “Those were the days. We used to act a fool.”

  “Well, I’m glad all of that is in your past, because if you get that drunk around me I’ll...” Tyrin started.

  “You’ll what? You will carry me up two flights of stairs, and then knowing your freaky ass, try to get some while I’m vulnerable. So shut up.” Khalil said to Tyrin in a playful manner.

  “Checkmate.” Spencer said, as he raised his French Connection in the air.

  “Damn it’s crowded in here. Did a plane from Buckingham Palace land in this motherfucker, because it’s loaded with queens?” Kerrion asked as he walked up and entered the circle, hand in hand with Andre.

  “It was worse last year,” Spencer said.

  “Worse than this? This is ridiculous. I wasn’t expecting this at all. I could have honestly stayed at y'all house and watched a good movie.” Andre said

  “I feel you. This is ridiculous. But look at it like this, now that you have experienced it, you can decide if you want to do it again next year,” Tyrin said.

  “I’ve already decided. I don’t. I am not big on crowds and this is just too much for me. Kerry I hope you’re cool on all of this as well.” Andre said sternly.

  “All I know is that if another brother tells you that your dreads are cute, I’m gonna bust him in his grill.”

  “Baby, don’t worry, I’m here with you remember. No need to fight nobody, especially in here.” Andre said reassuringly.

  “You need to realize that you are now dating a ghetto bitch. Don’t let the car, the apartment, or the expensive outfits fool you. This person right here next to you, is straight from the hood.” Khalil said to Andre.

  “You damn right! Fuck these bitches in here. Did ya’ll see the wanna be diva bitch with the Jordache jeans and Squirrel fur coat. Talk about a raggedy motherfucker. He had the nerve to look

  me up and down and roll his eyes from behind outdated Laura Biogatti sunglasses. It took all I had not to knock the shit out of that finger wave wearing bitch, looking like Rodney O and Joe Cooley.”

  “Kerry, don’t start no shit up in here. Because you know if you fight, we all gotta fight. And I am not, I repeat, am not, in the mood to be in here tussling.” Spencer said.

  “Calm down Kerrion.” Tyrin calmly said.

  “Why ya’ll acting like I’m about to pull out a 12 gauge and start firing. I am simply saying that I deserve to be res
pected, and rolling your eyes at me when you’re looking broke down is totally unacceptable.” he said in his defense. “Especially in this messy ass environment. Fuck these bitches.” he added loud enough for the people within earshot to hear.

  “We’re telling you to calm down because we know you. And you are hostile, plain and simple. So calm the fuck down, before we escort your ass out of here.” Spencer said.

  “Are ya‘ll through chastising me?” He asked the group.

  “Are you through showing out?” Tyrin asked

  “Maybe.”

  “Anyway, enough of this foolishness. Did you two go downstairs?” Khalil asked.

  “Yeah we went. The music is bumping, but it’s crowded as all hell. I was trying to get my groove on with sexy here, but there was no room on the dance floor.” Andre said.

  “Well I want to go see. Who is going with me?” Khalil asked as he grabbed Tyrins’ hand and headed towards the escalator.

  Downstairs was ten degrees hotter than the lobby area, and along with the twenty dollar cover charge to get in, the five of them made

  the best of an overcrowded situation. The room was stuffed with bodies partying like it was their last night on earth. The sexual fever of the room rose with songs that promised nights of long hard grinding, and climactic experiences.

  Lil Kim was the token bad girl, with anthems that moved the crowd by asking, “How many licks”. Suga Free created a choir with his underground hit “Why you bullshitting?” because when the chorus hit, everybody chimed in. And as hard as everyone was already getting their groove on, nothing and nobody could resist Mystikal when he dared you to, “Shake it Fast”.