“Mrs. Owens. May I come with you tomorrow?”
Her eyes were confused. “Where, Honey?”
“To Medford?” Mine couldn’t have pleaded more.
“He told you.” It was more of a statement than a question, but I nodded. “He didn’t want to. He knew you’d worry.”
My heart ached as her eyes saddened me. “I am worried and I want to ride with you…with him.”
She shook her head. “Emma. He’d be very angry with me if I allowed that. He wants to be done with that piece of his life and certainly doesn’t want you to be any part of it. Don’t fault him for that.”
“I don’t. But Mrs. Owens…I love him and want to be there for him.”
Her compassionate smile and tender hug was medicine to my soul, though it wasn’t clear if I could declare victory. I heard his Jeep rumble outside. She pulled me close again. “I tell you what.” She whispered. “Be here at 11:00 and we’ll ambush him.”
The front door opened and he tossed his book bag on the chair next to the door. His eyes widened when he saw me.
“Hey. What are you doing here?”
His mom patted my back. “I’ll leave you two alone,” she said disappearing into another room.
“Just wanted to show you something. How was your meeting?” Stupid question. Of course he wouldn’t answer.
“Aah.” He blew off the question. “Whatcha got?”
A smile broke free and induced a smile from him in return. “Pick a hand,” I teased, holding my fists behind my back. He played along and pointed to my right side, which is where the license was, so I switched it quickly and held out my empty hand. So, he indicated the left side and I did the same thing flashing my open left hand.
“OK. I give.” He wasn’t as playful as usual.
I held up the hard piece of plastic and recognition settled over him. He grinned. “Congratulations. You earned it.” He kept the distance.
“Not even a hug?” I asked disappointed, and he cautiously moved toward me as if not to tempt himself. He leaned down, and as he snugly embraced me, we both breathed easy—a relatively simple task—but the air seemed fresher and crisper and I felt like I breathed for the first time this week.
“Let’s get you home.” He suggested in a hushed tone.
“I still have forty-five minutes.”
His mouth smiled, but his eyes didn’t and he opened the front door. I stepped out into the cold evening and a sliver of moon hung in the eastern sky just above the mountains. The Jeep came to life and he steered toward my house. I contemplated refusing to get out of the car.
“Forty minutes till I have to be home.” I was counting down and hope he caught my drift.
He released what seemed like a held breath. “What do you want to do Em?”
“Talk. I don’t like where things are with us.” I reached for his hand and held it. He squeezed my fingers and I somehow found relief in that gesture.
He parked the car in the Safeway parking lot. “Let’s get through this weekend and then we’ll talk.”
“What’s that supposed mean?”
“It means we’ll talk on Sunday.” His expression was one of indifference and I didn’t like it.
“What time?”
“You tell me.”
“Be at my house after church. No. Wait. Go to church with us,” I suggested.
He smiled half-heartedly. “Let’s say 11:00.”
I playfully punched his shoulder. “Really. Our church is totally cool. It’s Methodist and we are really laid back and you can wear jeans if you want. I don’t even go to Sunday School anymore. I stay with my folks in Church and our pastor talks about stuff that I can relate too. I think you’ll like. Please.”
“All right,” he agreed easier than I anticipated.
“Really?”
“Why not.”
I kissed his cheek. “Thank you. Sunday it is.”
The Jeep was moving again and we neared my house. Panicked seized me when I spotted Grant’s truck. The hits just kept on coming. “Zach. I didn’t know. I haven’t seen him at all except at school.”
“It’s OK, Em. It’s a small town. He’s your brother’s best friend. It’s gonna happen.” He cut the engine and was out his door and at mine.
My pace to the house was unhurried and I prayed for a kiss. “Do you want to come in?”
He shook his head. “No. I don’t need to get in any more trouble.”
“I understand.” I moped. “Will you be in school?”
“For a bit.” He swallowed. I wondered if he was nervous. “I better get.”
“OK.” He reached up and with his thumb traced down my cheekbone and over my bottom lip. I kissed his thumb. He dropped his hand and went back to the Jeep. My eyes stayed on him till he was out of sight.
When I woke, I noticed the weather soaked up my mood. The gray sky held little hope for the day; the dark clouds crept into the neighborhood like an unwanted visitor. I showered and dressed nicer than normal unsure what the required attire was for taking your boyfriend to jail. Mom and dad were still in the dark about my plans to ditch school, and I’d come up with little strategy on how to get away with it. Grounded again?
Zach was there on time with troubled eyes and an unconvincing smile. Silence filled the warm Jeep, and I stayed mum knowing there wasn’t a lot to say. He held my hand up to the school. We usually went our separate ways, but today he escorted me to U.S. Government and kissed my forehead at the door.
“I won’t be in Algebra?”
“Why?” I panicked.
“Dad wants to get an earlier start what with the fog and all.”
I nodded and made a mental note. “OK.”
“I’ll see you Sunday?”
“Definitely.” A smile touched one corner of my mouth and I kissed his fist. He kissed his index and middle finger, touched my lips, then turned and jogged down the hall. My phone vibrated in my pocket—I didn’t recognize the number.
Come 15 mins earlier. Mrs. O
I smiled and joined my Government class.
Between Government and Honors English, I spotted Estelle and Connor huddled in the corner. Hmm…that must be new, I thought to myself. Connor’s turn. My thoughts were ugly today.
“Hey Runt,” Connor greeted first.
“Hi Con. Estelle do you have a sec?” Boy I never thought I’d be asking her for a favor.
She stared at me hesitantly for a moment then caved. “What?”
“I need a favor.”
She waited.
“I have to leave for something today and I know you’re a student aid for Ms. Copeland. Could you cover me?”
She propped her hands on her hips. “I’m not contributing to the downfall of a Saint, am I?” Her brows rose high on her forehead.
Play nice. “No. It’s nothing like that. Just something I have to do. Please.”
“Fine.”
I was shocked. No thinking about it. No back talk. A simple ‘fine’. “Thank you.” I leaned in to give her a hug –extra effort—then I bolted for class.
Ryan had agreed to give me a ride and I texted him to let him know it was going to be fifteen minutes earlier. He was clueless as to what it was for and forewarned me of the impending doom when I got home, though he agreed not to tell. He dropped me off about a block from Zach’s house and I walked the rest of the way. His Jeep was in the drive and the cold stung my face. I didn’t know whether to ring the bell or wait outside. I was freezing so I opted for indoors. My finger trembled as it neared the glowing button and my heart raced anxious about his reaction. I pushed it.
His mom opened the door and greeted me with a wink, pulling me indoors. Zach was just coming down the stairs, with his IPOD in his ears. His eyes met mine and confusion clouded them. Then they darted to his mom’s and clarity of our plan hit him hard.
“No!” He shook his head adamantly. “NO!” He yelled and his voice echoed through the house.
“Honey,” his mom attempted.
I fidgeted with the zipper on my coat. “Zach. Don’t blame your mom,” my voice cracked. “I asked. I wanted to be with you.”
“You can be with me but not like this. Not today.” His eyes softened for just a moment as he moved toward me. But then, he grabbed my arm and forcefully led me to the door. “I’m running her back to school. I’ll be right back.” He was addressing his mom, not me. I felt like a child.
“Honey. There is no time,” his mom replied.
He let me go with a slight shove. “Fine. Then we’ll all drop her off on the way out.”
“I want to go with you, please.” Tears teetered on the edge.
“No!” His mom left the room. I felt abandoned in my efforts. “Damn it,” he hissed and stomped his foot glaring at me.
I think my heart stopped as I watched him sway his head from side to side then collapse in the chair. I moved to him and the grimace on his face scared me. He hid his face with his palm, and as his chin quivered...an intense pain shot through my chest. I fell to my knees wrapping my arms over his shoulders and cried.
“I’m sorry. I’ll leave.” I sobbed. I heard a moan rise in his throat and suddenly, his arms gripped me so tightly that he hurt me. He buried his face in my shoulder. My throat tightened; I couldn’t breathe.
“I just wanted to be with you. This is all my fault.”
His hand tightened on the back of my neck and he reared back and glowered at me. “I did this.” He took a long and deliberate breath and his eyes were red. “Not you.”
“But you did it because of me.”
With his thumbs, he wiped away the tears that had spilled over. “I knew the conditions of my probation.”
“I’m so sorry.” I moved toward him again and held him. I would do anything to make his pain go away. “Are you scared?” I asked, scared enough for both of us.
He looked at our hands and nodded. “Yeah.” He paused. “Before—the first time…I was so strung out…I didn’t care. I was also one of the oldest and biggest kids there. Now…” He didn’t finish his statement but I knew what he was thinking. I kissed his cheek.
“Zachary. We have to leave.” His father spoke from behind me.
“OK,” he acknowledged him, then stared at me long and hard. “You ready?”
Relief flooded over me, I took his hand in mine and nodded.
Zach and I slid in to the back of his father’s Passat and I buckled the center seat belt so I could sit close to him. Mr. Owens raised the rearview mirror just enough so that we weren’t in his line of vision. Zach’s arm fit perfectly around me and my head rested against his chest and I listened to his heartbeat beneath his shirt. He slid an ear bud in my ear and he had one in his.
“Another Journey song I like,” he smiled then pushed play on the IPOD.
Just a small town girl living in her lonely world took the midnight train going anywhere Just a city boy born and raised in south Detroit took the midnight train going anywhere.
I grinned as I listened to the words. I’d heard it several times and never personalized the words like I did now. Song after song, we listened to.
When the lights go down in the city and the sun shines on the bay. Do I want to be there in my city, oh oh oh oh oh oh.
I knew the words by heart and sang along to myself. Medford was an easy drive—only about a half-hour. The time would fly; the drive back would be torture. My body couldn’t nestle close enough, and I think he was trying as hard as I was. I wondered if he and his folks would have talked had I not interfered and tagged along. His hand rubbed up and down my back. The Journey songs came to an end and I smiled up at him as the next song played and mouthed the words.
Oh, Girl, you stand by me. I’m forever yours…Faithfully
Zach held our palms out and measured them up against one another. His hand was double in size, and he bent his fingers down over mine. I glanced up at the road when the car veered to the right—Mr. Owen’s was taking the exit into Medford. My stomach rolled with the turn and I was glad I hadn’t eaten breakfast. The digital clock on the dash read 10:40. Lifting my head to look at him, he focused on something out the window—maybe lost in thought for what lay ahead.
He took my hand in his and opened it, laying the IPOD in my palm. He removed his bud and dangled the wire neatly next to it then folded my fingers over it.
“Keep it for me.”
I nodded. Be strong, I chanted inside my head. Then he pulled his wallet from his back pocket and handed it to me. The tick of the blinker seemed louder than a siren as his dad pulled into a parking lot and slowed to a stop. Zach unbuckled me first then him and opened his door offering his hand to me. His dad stood next to him and his mom walked around to our side of the car.
“How much time, Dad?”
Mr. Owens examined his watch. “About twelve minutes.”
Zach eyed his mom then moved to her and hugged her. “I’m sorry, Mom.”
Quiet tears rolled from her eyes. “I am so proud of you and who you are. Never apologize to me. You're a wonderful man with a very bright future.” She patted his cheek, and then he leaned in and kissed hers. He swiveled around to me and his parents respectfully stepped away.
“Knock Knock.”
I raised my brow. “Who’s there?”
“Kermit.”
I smiled. “Kermit who?
“Kermit a crime and you go to jail.” He winked.
“That’s not funny,” I pouted.
He grabbed me and pulled me into his chest. “Oh. Come on. We have to lighten this mood up somehow.” His lips brushed the top of my head. I wasn’t sure I could do this, but I knew I wouldn’t cry. He needed strength.
Nothing profound was coming to mind as much as I wished it would. “Your mom is right, you know. You are wonderful. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Well…don’t get too down on that fact…you’re only fifteen.” He smiled.
I playfully shoved him.
“Two shoves in twenty-four hours. I’m not doin so hot.”
“Zachary?” his father’s voice interrupted, and Zach’s eyes met mine.
He quickly bent toward me, brushed my forehead with a kiss, turned and met his father at the hood of the car. His dad wrapped his arm around Zach’s shoulder and they walked toward the Jackson County Jail sign and disappeared inside the door. He never looked back.
“I love you,” I said under my breath.
FORTY-TWO
Saturday was brighter than yesterday with the sun peeking between the broken clouds. I was shocked to see Ryan and Ali were accompanying us to wherever it was we were going. Ali didn’t seem to question that I was with Grant, but I knew she would sneak a surprise attack on me when I wasn’t ready. I was exhausted and feared falling asleep in the front of Grant’s truck. My night was restless, and though I wore Zach’s USC shirt and his sweat shorts the whole evening and then to bed, the distance between us was unbearable. I prayed he was sleeping peacefully and locked in a cell by himself, but I wouldn’t have bet on it. I remembered clearly my conversation with his folks on the way back.
“Emma. Please come with us tomorrow.” Mrs. Owens had requested.
Sad and feeling as if I’d already betrayed him, I responded, “I can’t. I have to do something that I don’t want to do but I’m obligated. Can I give you something to give to him?”
“Sure. Honey.” Most of the ride was in silence with our hearts and minds elsewhere and they dropped me at home when we returned.
I’d written a note to him and given it to Ryan who dropped it by last night. I knew he was suspicious with what was going on with Zach and Grant, but he seemed to respect my privacy.
The clock on the dash read 12:10. Zach had been released…I was sure. We were on the 5 going north and already passed Medford so there was no chanc
e of passing them. I’d give almost anything to turn around and go to him. But, by doing this…our obstacle was gone.
Grant was allowing me to pout and be stubborn. I assumed he figured I would loosen up. Time would tell.
“So. No hint?” I asked sourly.
He glanced into his rearview mirror and asked our passengers, “Should we tell her?”
I didn’t expend the energy to look back at them…just waited for his response. They must have said no because he kept mum. “At least tell me where we’re going?”
“Eugene.”
The truck was quiet again and I heard Ali giggle, which annoyed me. I racked my brain trying to think of what it could be and outside of a Ducks basketball game…I was clueless.
“Hey,” Ryan asked. “Do you remember when mom was in the hospital getting her gallbladder out and the four of us blew up the microwave?”
“That’s because some dumbass forgot to take the metal lid off the melted cheese,” I accused.
Ali laughed. “Yeah. Don’t blame Em and me for that. We smelled the smoke and came running.”
Grant gave a disgusted look. “I can’t believe we still ate the cheese off the microwave glass. It had boiled over and was everywhere.”
“It was still good,” Ryan added.
“Yes it was,” I said.
“That was the first time I ever kissed Ryan.” Ali chimed perkily. I heard a kiss echo from the back seat. I made a face to myself.
“That’s when Em kissed like a fish.”
My jaw fell and I glared at Grant. “I didn’t kiss like a fish.”
He nodded with wide eyes. “Yes. You did.” His lips puckered up tight to prove his point. “I felt like I was kissing a butt hole.” All three of them busted into a knee-slapping laugh and as hard as I fought…a smile touched the corners of my mouth.
“Whatever. I was in seventh grade, you jackass. And how do you know what a butthole’s like?”
“Ry. Crack the cooler open and hand me a beer,” Grant laughed.
Old Enough to Love... (Just One of the Guys) Page 26
