“Does he know I’m nineteen?”
I shrugged.
“Runt. You…”
“NO! No Runts. Not tonight…got it?” He opened his little cooler and retrieved another beer.
“Got it.”
“After that…just follow my lead.”
Vince joined us. “Hey Emma. Long time, no see.”
“Hi Vince.”
“Do I have a job like my buddy here?” he winked and his eyes sparkled with charisma.
“Stay away from the tall, black-haired girl,” I warned.
“I can do that,” he said as I left the room.
Zach was playing Black Ops and his eyes met mine when I moved through the room. Jaycee sat next to him rambling and the loud music from the other room made it difficult to hear. In all my scheming for tonight, I had never planned for him to be with someone else, and a wave of nausea swarmed over me. From the family room, I saw Grant dancing in the living room where the music played and I laughed. He dashed to my side and I braced myself for his landing next to me.
“What’s uuuup?” His breath already smelled of liquor. I wonder where it came from.
“Not much. You look like you’re having fun, birthday boy.”
“How about a birthday kiss?” he asked pulling my head toward his.
“I’ll give you a birthday spankin,” I teased, pushing him down on my lap then rolled him to the floor.
Grant laughed and stood. “Don’t tease me.”
“Excuse me, Grant,” Austin said, stepping past Grant and sitting next to me.
“What’s up, Austin?” Grant bumped fists with him and stepped back looking at me curiously as Austin touched my bare leg. He obviously wasn’t drunk enough to let this go and I panicked.
“No,” he mouthed and with two fingers pointed at his eyes then pointed one finger at me.
“Grant. Take a picture,” Jaycee said tossing her little pink camera to him then grabbing Zach’s bicep as she squeezed him closer. He didn’t resist either. He smiled without looking away from the TV. Unbelievable.
Austin leaned over nuzzling his nose into my hair. “Is it OK if I do this for a second and pretend I’m whispering my undying love for you? Because without you even looking over, I can tell you he is checking us out.” He leaned back against the sofa and I giggled. I rubbed my neck like it tickled. He pulled me back against the sofa and his arm was around me.
“Who’s the chick hitting on him?” Austin asked leaning into me.
Though tension swelled in my body, I managed a smiled. “Her name is Jaycee. I was thinkin’ we sick Vince on her.”
Austin frowned then touched the end of my nose. “No can do. The tall girl cornered Vince in the kitchen.”
“Damn!” I said. “Lay your hand on the inside of my knee.”
He did and I pretended to watch the game. “Like that?” he asked cozily.
I nodded. His hands seemed the size of Zach’s.
“You owe me so big. I can’t believe I’m stooping to this. You have got to tell me what’s going on with this guy?”
“Kiss me.”
“Where?”
“On my lips, dummy.”
He smiled and batted his eyes. “I got that much. My question is here or where?”
“Here. Now.” I rested in the pit of his arm and he gently lifted my chin and bent down and pecked my lips softly then pulled away.
CLANK! I opened my eyes in time to see the XBOX controller bounce off the glass coffee table onto the ground.
“Zach. What’s wrong?” Jaycee squealed as she went after him toward the kitchen.
Austin’s finger was in my face this time. “You are dangerous little one. Why are you trying to hurt the guy?”
A dull ache ricocheted across my chest as Austin’s words came out. Was I trying to hurt Zach? “Take me up to my room. I’ll tell you there.”
“Are we still playing mean?”
I didn’t answer. He held my hand as we left the family room. As he walked up the stairs he held both my hands behind his back, and I trailed after him. Zach eyes followed us up the stairs from the kitchen.
I closed the door and smiled at Austin. “Thank you.”
He pounced on my bed curling a pillow under his head. “Talk to me.”
“OK. He hurt me.” I paused because I said it in past tense and the pain was very present.
Austin rose up, his body more alert.
“How?”
I flipped my computer on and waited for it to boot up. “We’ve been going out for a while and…we haven’t…” I bobbed my head from side to side.
“Haven’t what?”
“Haven’t done it.”
Austin grinned. “OK…and?”
“Well, he’s done it a lot.”
This time he chuckled. “What’s a lot to you?”
I held up my index finger signaling him to wait as my fingers typed frantically on the keyboard. I didn’t really want to see the site again today. Since we’d broke up, I’d gone on every day to check and see if I’d been added. I knew he wouldn’t add me but wasn’t sure if his buddies would if he’d told them what we’d done. I also found the link to their pictures in Mexico and they made me less angry. If there was a girl in the photo, Zach seemed to be on the other end of the lens. If Zach was in the photo, then it was just he and the guys. Some of the pics were pretty disgusting—wet T-shirts, no T-shirts.
“Here it is.” I pointed to the screen, Austin came off the bed to look at it clicking on each of the guys.
“What’s the M?” He asked.
“Married,” I said under my breath. “Have you ever been with a married woman?”
“One,” he said, holding up a finger and still reading.
“Austin! Why? Why do you guys do that?”
“It’s safe. They don’t want a relationship. Usually just sex from a young virile stud like myself.” He glanced at me and winked. “Did he tell you what a cougar is?”
“Yes.”
He swiveled in my chair. “So, this upsets you?”
I nodded.
“And you’re trying to make him jealous in return?”
Austin was bright. I didn’t have to explain anything at all. He’d put the pieces together. “I thought I’d try to get some experience myself…maybe my own list and I don’t necessarily mean something like this.” I pointed to the computer. “But so I know something about something.”
His shoulders fell and I could tell by the look on his face he was feeling sorry for me. “Emma. Don’t go out and have meaningless sex just to have sex. Make it with someone you care about.”
I took a step closer to him and touched his chest. “OK. Then maybe you and I…maybe you’d show me.”
He stared at me as he processed my words then his brow furrowed. “You and I,” he repeated.
“I know I’m a little younger. But I trust you.”
“Em. Have you ever been with anyone?” He touched my cheek in the kindest, gentlest way.
I shook my head as the tears swelled. “Why does everyone ask that?” He wasn’t going to do it either.
He pulled me in for a hug as the warm tears spilled over.
“I am flattered and I’ll make you a promise. If by summer, you still want this…we’ll talk about it again. At least then, you’ll be sixteen.”
I sniffed and nodded embarrassed.
“If you’re so crazy about this guy, why not be with him or wait…that would be the fatherly thing for me to say.”
I closed my eyes. “Fatherly? Let’s go with brotherly, shall we?” I smiled. “I think I need more experience before I’m with him.”
His face scrunched with confusion. “Why?”
“I don’t know anything and you just said it yourself, those other women teach you things.”
“I promise you, and I’d even bet a million dollars, that Zach would rather you not be experienced.”
“I think you’re wrong.”
“Emma.” He shook my shoul
ders. “Listen to me. I’m a guy and I got a woody with you just asking me to be your first.”
My face flushed and I flipped off the computer. I didn’t respond.
“That’s a big deal to a guy. I could have any girl downstairs I wanted right now, but I’m not all that interested because outside of you and Ali, most of them have probably been with multiple guys.”
“It shouldn’t bother me…all the girls he’s been with?”
He shrugged. “That’s up to you. I’m guessin the older you get, the more of that you’re gonna find. I think it was shitty for him to write names, and I’m glad your name’s not on there cause I don’t want to have to kick his ass.” He winked. “I’m sure he’s going crazily insane right now, don’t you think?”
“Probably.”
As I moved to the door, he stopped me. “I’m glad you chose me for your little experiment. But don’t ever make me kiss you again,” he warned and opened the door.
“Ok….why?” I said, following behind feeling guilty.
He took my hand and led me down the stairs. “Cause I don’t think I’d ever stop.” He smiled and we walked to the kitchen.
FORTY-NINE
Ryan sat on the counter and Ali stood between his legs facing out. In the hour Austin and I had spent upstairs, more people had arrived. It was hard to hear myself think.
“Do you want a drink?” Austin asked.
“Yeah. But just a soda. I don’t want to do anything stupid tonight.”
“You mean stupid…er, don’t you?” He elbowed me and handed me a can of soda. Austin scanned the room. “I don’t see Vince.”
I laughed. “Please. He’s somewhere scroggin Estelle. I’d bet money on it.”
He slapped his knee. “Damn. Why do I always get the virgins?”
I playfully shoved him, and he wrapped his arm around my neck laughing. I saw his face begin to twist into a scowl. His eyes turned serious.
“Come on.” He rotated me so I couldn’t see whatever it was. But I felt my face start to crumble before I even saw it. I pulled my head from between his chest and arm and turned around. Zach’s arm was draped over Jaycee’s shoulders; her head rested on his chest…my chest…as she walked. He stumbled, and they both nearly fell, but of course he caught her…that was so like him. By the unfocused look in his eyes and his seemingly uncontrolled mannerisms, I guessed he had been drinking.
Austin cupped my face in his hands.“Let’s go for a drive. Let’s just get out of here for a bit,” he suggested.
I bit my lip unwilling to let the tears come.
“Em. Take a deep breath. Act like it doesn’t bother you,” he said.
“But it does,” my voice cracked and my leg trembled up and down on the floor. Ryan had to have seen what was happening because between the time I looked at Austin and glanced back, Ryan had Jaycee’s bicep in his hand.
“What are you doing?” Ryan asked her.
“Get off me Ryan. Zach and Emma are history,” Jaycee said hatefully.
Ryan let her go and looked at Zach. “Zach. Come on dude. Be smart about this.”
Jaycee flicked Ryan in the head with her thumb and middle finger. “HE-LL-0!” She said loudly. “He’s our salutatorian. He is smart.” Her words slurred as they came out.
The room had quieted and Grant stood behind Ryan.
“Look. I have no quarrel with you, man,” Zach said looking at Ryan. “My fight is with you.” He pointed at Austin and everyone turned to look at him. Oh God! Austin was just as big as Zach, if not bigger, and I feared to venture a guess at who might win. Zach wouldn’t even look at me.
“Please, Austin. Don’t.” I begged.
He reached up and ran his thumb over my cheek. “I won’t. But he is eighteen.” It was a statement, which I confirmed. Everyone waited for Austin’ response. “This isn’t gonna happen, buddy.”
“Don’t call me buddy. I am not your buddy. And don’t touch her again.” Zach took a step closer to us, and Austin casually pulled me backward.
“Look.” Austin held his hands up. Vince came into the room and moved toward Austin and me. “I am not here to hurt Emma.”
“Zach, stop,” Jaycee demanded, and he brushed her off his arm.
Vince was next to me. “What’s goin on?”
“Zach.” It hurt to say his name. “Wants to fight Austin,” I whispered.
“Ohh. This should be good,” Vince laughed.
“No.” I hit Vince in the arm.
“This isn’t going to happen, Vince,” Austin echoed my thoughts.
Suddenly Connor, Brett and Josh bolted into the room.
Zach’s face contorted with anger. “You call taking advantage of her, not hurting her?"”
The remark made my chest swell. “That’s my choice!” I screamed. My face froze and for the first time, his eyes found mine. He seemed confused that I was there. His eyes softened for a moment as I stood between them.
“She’s right,” Vince laughed. “She’s a big girl.”
Zach’s eyes hardened and left me to find Vince. His nostrils flared and he took a step toward Vince. Ryan crammed his fist into Zach’s chest and Connor and Brett helped him.
“Zach. You know Emma loves you, man. What’s the big deal? Austin is a family friend,” Ryan said.
Zach’s lip pulled into a snarl. “Grant told me about your plan. I know what you did upstairs.” He stared at Austin.
“What plan?” Ryan asked, and grabbed the front of Grant’s shirt.
Grant shoved Ryan’s hands away. “This isn’t the time to talk about it. OK?” Everyone in the room stared at me and Austin waiting for an answer. I thought I was going to burst in humiliation.
“The plan was for college boy to…” Zach’s words trailed off as he shook his head in disgust.
Austin spoke up. “Zach. I believe you’ve been misinformed.”
I quickly turned to Austin and glared at him. “Stop. It’s none of his business what happened between us. That’s between you and me.”
I saw the doubt in Austin’s eyes as he looked at me. He thought we should tell Zach the truth. I could see it on his face. I moved closer to Austin and spun around to Zach.
“He’s only one. I have seventeen more—then we call it even.”
Zach winced as the words came out and lowered his head. Jaycee was right there to console him. Stupid bitch. She whispered something to him. His head rose and the beautiful brown eyes that I’d grown to love were hard as stone. His eyes roamed from my feet up to my face and he shot me a revolted look. He grabbed Jaycee’s hand. “Eighteen,” he laughed and turned to leave.
When they rounded the corner, I ran toward them with my hands balled into fists. I was going to hurt Jaycee. Ryan stopped me in my tracks. “No,” he said, and I took a couple of steps backward. I was glad a barstool was close because my wobbly legs gave out. I fell onto the stool beside me as I buried my face into my hands.
“Dammit!” Ryan shouted moving toward me. “Everybody out of the kitchen.”
I looked up at him. His eyes were furious.
“Ryan.” Austin patted his back and Ryan shoved his hand away. “Hey. Easy. I was just gonna say…”
“Tell me you two didn’t…” Ryan didn’t finish the sentence, but his finger was an inch from Austin’s face.
Austin stood with his mouth open. “Are you fucking kidding me? You’re seriously gonna ask me that?”
Ryan shook his head. “I’m sorry.” He held his hands out to the side in an apology.
“Dude. She’s a beautiful girl that is going to have sex someday. Get a grip.”
Ryan gave him a confused look. “It’s not about sex, Austin. I want her treated right. Respected. He did that for her. I don’t know what the hell is going on tonight, but that wasn’t the Zach I know.” He rubbed my back and glared at Austin and Grant.
I grabbed Ryan’s shirt. “He’s going to be with Jaycee tonight, isn’t he?” The words came out in gasps. “I mean. That’s what he was insinuatin
g when he took her.”
Seven guys—Ryan, Austin, Grant, Brett, Connor, Josh and Vince stood staring at me with Ali at my side. I had to go after him.
On my way to my room, I grabbed Ryan’s truck keys out of the basket and slid them in my pocket. I snuck out dad’s office upstairs and onto his deck outside. I looked over and even the one floor down made my stomach roll. I could land it. I knew I could. I climbed over the railing, balancing myself on the two by four, then propelled myself off the wood and landed hard on the grass. A stick jabbed into my hand. “Ow.” I pulled it out and tried to shake off the pain. I ran behind the house and spotted Ryan’s truck parked on the street. I unlocked it and scrambled in starting the engine. I waited to turn on the lights till I was down the street.
I buckled and drove cautiously toward Zach’s house, my heart pounding as I drove. What I was doing was illegal. I had my permit to drive to school or work but that was it…this was neither. The downtown lights in Ashland were beautiful at night. My eyes searched the streets for the Jeep. I pulled down a road leading to the park. We’d been there several times and I wondered if he took her there. Tears surged in my eyes as I felt sick at what I might find. Two cars were in the lot—a blue mustang and silver Volkswagen. I did a U-turn in Ryan’s truck and kept making my way toward Zach’s house. It was 11:30.
The house was lit but his Jeep wasn’t in the drive. I parked the truck and walked up the path glancing in the window. His folks were on the sofa watching TV. I hesitated but rang the bell. Mr. Owens answered.
“Emma. Honey, what are you doing out so late?”
“Hi, Mr. Owens. Is Zach here?”
Mrs. Owens came to the door. “Hi, Emma. Please, come in.”
I shook my head. “I can’t. I was just looking for him.”
“You’ve been crying. I can see it in your eyes,” she said in a soothing voice. “Did you two break-up?”
I covered my eyes so they couldn’t see me cry and I nodded my head.
“Oh, sweetheart. Please sit.”
Old Enough to Love... (Just One of the Guys) Page 32
