Ties That Bind

by Neeny Boucher

  When he realized Christina wasn’t going to change her mind, tears filled his eyes. “I don’t know what happened when you were home, Christina, but I think you’re wrong. It’s not just what I deserve, but it’s about what you deserve too. You deserve all the happiness and goodness in the world, too. I wanted to give you that, but if it’s not me, I hope you find someone that will.”

  Christina put her head in her hands and cried, but Ted made no move to touch her. She wasn’t his any longer. Actually, she never had been.

  Walking him to the front door, she touched his arm. “I’m sorry, Ted,” she said in a breaking voice. “I really am. I wish I could be the person you deserve.”

  Ted smiled sadly at her. “If you ever need anything, Christina. Anything, I’m here for you.”

  She nodded and gave a watery smile, but couldn’t respond. There was nothing more to say. He put his sunglasses on, a gesture so familiar, that it made her heart hurt. Waving goodbye, Ted jogged out of her life forever.

  About an hour after Ted left, there was a loud knock at the front door, making Christina jump. She was showered and dressed, and in her own world wondering if she’d made the right decision. In her heart, she knew she had, but her brain was telling her she was an idiot for letting Ted Bateman go.

  She opened the door to find Ted and he pushed past her without being invited in. Taking off his sunglasses, Ted glared at her. His eyes were dull and he looked like he’d been crying.

  “I’ve had an interesting conversation, Christina,” he started. “Some guy in a car pulled up beside me on the street and told me he’s your husband. He said you’ve been messing around on the both of us. Is this true?”

  Christina felt all the color drain from her face and she started to hyperventilate. Riley was here. “Where is he?” She gasped.

  Ted stared at her and his eyes went wide. His shoulders slumped and he swallowed hard. “It’s true,” he whispered. “Isn’t it?”

  Christina sighed and her face crumpled. “Yes. It’s true. I’m married, but I’m separated-”

  “And you love this guy, right? Shit,” Ted breathed, rubbing his eyes. “It’s so obvious and I never even saw it because I was so fucking blind.”

  “This isn’t on you, Ted. None of it is, it’s all on me,” Christina cried. “I did love you. I do love you, just not-”

  “He told me you’ve been fucking him in Shanwick. Is that true?” Ted snapped. “Have you’ve been fucking the both of us, Christina?”

  Christina felt nauseous and she put her hands to her mouth. She’d never seen Ted angry before. He was one of the gentlest men she knew.

  She’d tried to keep her past from her present and future, but it had come full circle. “I married Riley at 18,” Christina confessed. “I’d been with him since I was 15. We broke up after my mother died. He refused to divorce me. I hadn’t seen him in three years, not until Mandy and Dave’s wedding. I never meant any of this to happen.”

  “But it did,” Ted said sadly. “Is this why you wouldn’t bring me to the wedding? You knew you were going to hook up with this guy?”

  Christina groaned. This was bad. She didn’t bring Ted because she hadn’t wanted to put him in the firing line with Riley, but it was irrelevant now.

  “I don’t know how to even phrase this right, Ted,” Christina pleaded, “but I was never with the both of you at the same time. I never planned on any of this. I wanted closure-”

  “And you did,” Ted smiled, but there was no warmth to it. “You got closure with me because you cut me loose as soon as this guy came back into your life. Wow.”

  “It’s not like that,” Christina denied. “After what happened, I couldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t stay with you knowing I’d been with Riley and still had feelings for him.”

  Ted sat down hard on the couch, staring out the window. “It’s not how I saw us, Christina,” he said quietly, swallowing hard. “I saw us with a future, you know? We’d work in a law firm together, maybe somewhere like California… get married, but you already did that with someone else.”

  “I’m sorry, Ted,” sobbed Christina, trying to hold back the bile in her stomach. “I want you to know that this isn’t about a choice between him and you. It’s about trying to do what’s right.”

  Christina closed her eyes, tears seeping from the corner. She choked out. “I’m a terrible person.”

  Ted looked up at her and blinked. “No, you’re not. You’ve made some mistakes. If I thought it would make a difference, I’d say we should just move past this and let it go. If it was just one mistake, we could get over this, but that’s not going to happen, is it?”

  Silent tears fell down Christina’s face and she shook her head. “I can’t guarantee that this won’t happen again. I’m sorry, Ted. He’s owned my heart and soul for so long. I thought I could put him behind me, but I can’t.”

  Ted sighed. “I just wish you felt you could confide in me. I knew you held yourself back, but it didn’t matter. I thought our relationship would evolve as time went on.”

  “I never meant to hurt you, Ted,” Christina cried.

  Ted nodded. “Strangely, Christina, I believe you. I think I’m going to forgive you before you forgive yourself. I always said I’d never hurt you. I haven’t and I won’t.”

  He got up and walked to the door, before turning to face her. “You deserve happiness in this life, too,” Ted smiled sadly. “Don’t let anyone make you feel or tell you different, okay? I’ll always be here for you. If you need me, call. I’m not the type of guy that just walks away from someone they care about.”

  As the door closed, Christina sat miserable in shock and pain. She’d hurt a person that was good and kind, someone decent enough to extend forgiveness. And then there was Riley.

  He’d been here, but didn’t want to see her. He’d torpedoed Ted, ground him to dust and left her with the debris. She would carry Ted’s pain with her for the rest of her life, but Riley? She gulped. His rage would be terrifying and unlike Ted, he would never forgive her.

  **********

  Riley

  A furious Riley arrived back in Shanwick and headed straight for his parents’ house. He couldn’t even think about Christina without imagining her in bed with that Poser. He tried to block it from his mind, but he couldn’t.

  That guy’s hands on her skin, kissing her, being inside her… Right now, the rage in Riley’s heart was terrifying. He felt like he was burning from the inside out.

  He knew she’d have been with other guys. Of course she had. They’d been apart for three years and he understood that at a rational level, but having it in his face made his blood boil.

  How could she? Straight after she’d been with him and they’d talked about reconciliation. His girl wouldn’t have done this. She had a heart and a conscience.

  Riley focused on eradicating her from his life, but she wasn’t getting off that easy. She was going to face him first. He wanted to stare her in the eyes and break her, watch her crumble in front of him.

  On entry to the main house, he found his parents in the lounge. They looked up in surprise, but remained silent when they saw the expression on his face. “I’ll sign the papers,” Riley said to the relief of his parents, “but on one condition. I want to see her. She wants to play this little charade of threatening me with court and going after our money? Well, she can do it to my face.”

  His father remained passive, but his mother was ecstatic. “I’m proud of you, Nicholas,” Grace cried. “You’re making the right decision.”

  For once, Riley agreed with his mother. “Set up a meeting,” Riley seethed. “Get the lawyers to arrange it with hers and we’ll get this done.”

  There was no going back now and he didn’t want the lying, two-timing bitch back, but he wanted the pleasure of telling her that in person. His only solace out of this whole drama was making Poser cry when he’d informed him what a whore Christina was. Riley had watched in disgust as the guy wiped his tears away.
>
  What the fuck was he crying about? She wasn’t this guy’s wife. They hadn’t been together since they were teenagers and Riley knew Christina didn’t love Poser. He was just a fucking nobody.

  Riley was only half way through the conversation when Poser turned tail, staggering down the street to confront Christina. His only regret: he didn’t get to watch the bitch’s face when Poser informed her they both knew she was a slut. He hoped the guy was bleeding because Riley felt like she’d reached into his chest and pulled his heart out.

  **********

  Christina: The Past, Seattle, Wednesday, August 15, 2007

  Christina, Debbie Bindman and her daughter, and Christina’s friend, Gillian, arrived in Seattle from D.C. on a Tuesday evening. The meeting with the Rileys was scheduled for Wednesday morning and Christina’s anxiety levels were at an all-time high. She didn’t know why they were meeting in Seattle, but Riley had changed his lawyers a month ago and this was where he wanted it to take place.

  Gillian had insisted on accompanying Christina and her mother to offer moral support, even though Christina had assured her it wasn’t necessary. Staring at her with big blue eyes, Gillian smiled. “Christina, I know you’re a private person, but you let me in on this, remember? You asked me for help. Please, let me see this through? I want to be there for you.”

  Christina liked Gillian. She trusted her and if it wasn’t for Gillian, Christina would never have met Debbie Bindman, so she agreed. Debbie, however, had other ideas: she secured Gillian as her assistant for the day and Christina knew it was to keep the matter as private as possible.

  Bonnie met them in Seattle and similarly to Gillian, refused to take no for answer. She insisted she was coming to Seattle anyway because she had job interviews there. Christina wasn’t sure if she believed her, but Bonnie wasn’t the sort of person you said ‘no’ to.

  Before the meeting, Christina had a sleepless night and woke up feeling nervous. They had tried to talk the Rileys out of this meeting and just get Riley to sign the divorce papers, but he refused. It was this meeting or court. Debbie pressed for the meeting.

  Debbie, however, didn’t know Riley the way Christina did. She knew what he wanted: revenge and humiliation. He also wanted to do it in person.

  Christina dressed numbly, putting on an outfit she’d specifically chosen for this meeting: a black skirt, jacket, white blouse and high heels. She was trying to channel Debbie Bindman’s calm, professional demeanor in the hope that she could escape from this emotionally and semi-unscathed.

  She also wanted to signal the demarcation between her old life and new. It made her feel more in control and not who she felt when she was with Riley. She didn’t welcome this confrontation, but she wasn’t backing away from it either.

  In preparation, she reminded herself of everything Riley had done over the years that had caused her nothing but misery. He had power and control issues, the hatred of her mother, his temper and moods, his absence and neglect. His utter refusal to entertain anything she wanted to do with her life that didn’t suit him, even when she begged him.

  And then there was Ted. Christina felt nauseous thinking about it. Riley had thrown what they’d done in Ted’s face just to hurt him when it should never have involved him in the first place. If Riley had a problem with her, it was between him and her.

  The double standards infuriated her. Riley had slept with more women when they were apart than she cared to think about. He’d ensured the information got back to her through Bonnie and Mandy. Like a fool, she’d listened to the names and stories of every single one. Even when it felt like blows against her body, mind, heart, and spirit.

  He’d slept with people she hated, people they used to joke about, just so he could hurt her. It was more than double standards. Christina articulated the words she’d carefully avoided over the years. Riley was cruel.

  She used to make excuses for him, allowing her guilt to overshadow the truth, but it was as clear as daylight now. Riley was mean and vindictive, unforgiving to his enemies, and that’s what they were now. They were enemies.

  Their love and past were irrelevant, but their present and future were clear. It was separate. This was going to be bloody, a merciless fight to the death. Christina was in a fight for survival against the person that knew her best in this world. In order to find the courage to face Riley, she drew on her resentment, even though her heart was breaking.

  **********

  After making their way to Riley’s lawyers’ offices on Fourth Avenue, the group of women stood in the lobby waiting to be called to the meeting. It felt surreal, as if this was happening to somebody else instead. She kept telling herself that she could do this, and she almost had herself convinced, until the Rileys walked in.

  Her eyes flew to Riley, but he didn’t look her way. She could tell by his tense shoulders that he knew she was there and the look on his face made her blood freeze. Automatically shrinking back behind Debbie and Bonnie, Christina started to hyperventilate.

  This was going to be horrible and she wasn’t sure if she was up to the task. She knew her options were limited. Riley had demanded she be there. It was this or court and either way, she’d be facing him. He’d made sure of it.

  Touching her arm, Debbie smiled reassuringly. “Breathe, Christina,” Debbie whispered. “You’re not alone.”

  They watched in silence as the Rileys got into the elevator. Before the doors closed, Riley made eye contact with Christina. The look was so full of loathing that it almost stopped her heart.

  Christina gulped. What was he going to do or say? Why couldn’t he just sign the papers and avoid this? But it wasn’t his way. He’d never backed away from a fight, especially if he thought he was justified.

  Once the Rileys were out of earshot, Christina heard Debbie ask Bonnie, which one was Riley. When Bonnie described him, Debbie got a small smile on her face. “I thought so.”

  Leaning over to Christina, Debbie whispered, “I always wondered how a smart girl like you got into this situation. Now that I’ve seen him, I understand.”

  **********

  Riley

  Riley sat half listening to the pantomime playing out before him. He refused to look at Christina because if he did, he would lose control. He stared out the window, as the ice-cold bitch she’d brought as her lawyer blathered on. “The farm is worth millions in land alone-”

  Blah, blah, blah… This was a joke: a cosmic fucking joke. Christina didn’t want the money. She was too proud for that. She wanted to win and she didn’t care who she hurt in the process.

  Riley glanced at his lawyer; the one Mason Glenn had recommended because he was a pit bull. This little performance was just a prelude to the main event. He could predict what was going to happen and he was just waiting for his moment to strike.

  “Against my advice,” his lawyer intoned. “My clients are prepared to offer this generous settlement to expedite matters. It is my opinion, that your client would find it difficult to achieve satisfaction in court. It’s conditional, upon your client agreeing to waive all rights, and accepting by the close of business today.”

  His lawyer handed over some documents to Christina’s lawyer and Riley clenched his hands into fists, resting them on his knees. The next step was between him and Christina: the dirty, lying, whore. He wanted to call her bluff and prove his theory about the money, and when this little act was done, he was going to shred her.

  Riley’s mother hadn’t wanted to offer Christina a cent, but he insisted. His father and Steven had agreed, but for different reasons. They argued Christina deserved some form of financial compensation and it was irrelevant whether she accepted or not. The offer had to be made because the Rileys’ sense of fairness determined that Christina be presented with something, even if she threw it back in their faces.

  He watched Christina read the documents out of the corner of his eye. She wrote something to her lawyer, briefly glanced his way, and folded her arms. Physically turning away from him,
she looked out the window with her chin in the air.

  Riley almost snapped, “I told you so,” when he heard her bitch lawyer decline and throw down what he knew this was all about. “Thank you for your kind and generous offer, but against my advice, my client has decided to refuse. My client wants your client to sign the divorce papers by the close of business today. I think it is important to note, that my client has wanted an uncontested divorce for a number of years, and your client’s refusal has led us to this situation.”

  His lawyer looked at him and so did his parents. He could see the joy in his mother’s eyes and his father looked relieved. He didn’t have to look at Christina to know there was triumph on her face, but he was going to make sure it was short lived.

  “This agreement is also contingent on the reimbursement of my fees and costs,” Ice Bitch droned on. Fuck off and die, bitch, Riley seethed. It’s show time.

  He stared straight at a smiling Christina, putting as much hostility into his eyes as possible. She was smiling, speaking quietly to Bonnie, and looking relieved. He continued staring until she stiffened.

  She slowly turned around and their eyes locked. Now that he had her attention, he put an offer of his own on the table. “I want to speak to her,” Riley growled, pointing at Christina. “Alone. You want the papers signed? That’s my deal.”

  Riley’s father put a warning hand on his arm, but he shrugged it off. He didn’t break eye contact with Christina, but she looked at her lawyer, the other chick, and Bonnie for reassurance. “Take it or leave it,” he smirked, leaning back on his chair. “I have no problem going to court, honey. The choice is yours.”

  “She’s not going anywhere alone with you,” Bonnie snarled. Riley met Bonnie’s cold, blue eyes in challenge and they stared at each other with barely concealed hatred. He didn’t give a shit about Bonnie Howard and her tough girl persona, but she’d just given him an idea.

  Riley sneered. “You want to come, Bonnie?” He looked at Christina whose face was passive, but her eyes were fearful. Good, he thought, you should be afraid. “Why not? I’ve got nothing to hide. I’ll be downstairs.” He got up and left the room, but not before giving Christina a searing look.