Ties That Bind

by Neeny Boucher

  Riley frowned, groove lines appearing in his brow. He rubbed his thumb across his eyes and she knew he was exhausted. She couldn’t understand how anyone, especially the man she loved, the one that was kind and thoughtful, could do something so cruel. She didn’t have it in her.

  “You need to leave, Dina,” Riley smiled, sadness in his eyes. “I should never have let this go on, but you’re like my addiction. You need to keep as far away from me as possible. I promise, this time I won’t follow. I won’t do anything. I’m finally giving you your freedom.”

  Tears spilled down her face. She didn’t want her freedom. She wanted her Riley back. Even now, she wanted to wrap him in her arms and kiss away his pain, but that was impossible.

  “Okay,” Christina nodded. “I’ll go. I get the message.”

  Riley might not need solace, but she did. “Ted didn’t deserve that,” Christina said quietly. “You got hurt. Wow. We all do. I hurt you. You hurt me. I’ve hurt other people, but I can honestly say that very rarely was it intentional. If I could take it back, I would.”

  At this moment, she felt like she was fighting for the both of them. This was a nightmare that she couldn’t wake up from, but she refused to share his world-view. “The world’s not shitty,” she added. “People make it shitty, but they can make it good, too. You know, I was terrified of putting all my hope for happiness in you, in us, but I did it anyway. I chose love over fear, over everything, including good common sense. I know you love me, but I realize you hate me too. I can’t change that. The only one that can do that is you.”

  Leaning forward into his face, Christina pleaded. “You have a choice to make. We all do. I’m not walking away from here full of hatred. I choose to remember the boy I loved. I also choose to remember the man that helped put me back together when my sister nearly died; the one who helped me get my family back and showed me unconditional love. I couldn’t have got through it without him.”

  Riley’s eyes gleamed, raw pain evident. “I don’t think I can love without hate, Dina,” he confessed. “Not anymore. It’s my fatal flaw. I know what I did was sick, but it’s also a compliment. You see, I loved you best and hated you most. We were always destined for tragedy. Everyone else knew, but it took me a while to understand that.”

  This wasn’t destiny. They were a tragedy because of the actions they had or hadn’t taken. He couldn’t forgive her for Ted or events that extended back further. No. Correction. He wouldn’t forgive her and he’d lashed out, doing unforgivable acts.

  “I hoped my love would be enough for you,” Christina smiled sadly. “I hoped that our love could conquer all, but it can’t because it’s not enough for you. I’m not enough for you and it’s okay because I’ve never been enough for anyone.”

  Pressing her lips together, Christina struggled to hold it together. “I want someone that loves me for me,” she smiled through her tears. “Just me and I’m not going to find it here. Not with you. I’m leaving my heart and love with you because they were always yours anyways. But I’m taking my hope for happiness and searching someplace else.”

  Christina stood up, leaving Riley sitting at the table as still as a statue. He didn’t yell or berate her, nor did he move to stop her. She just walked out of his life and everything that had once bound them together was gone.

  She left Cartman with Riley in the hope that having another soul to tend might give him purpose beyond hatred. She was halfway home before it hit her. Pulling over on the side of the road, Christina sobbed her heart out.

  Although she should be used to it, she wasn’t. They’d been here so many times before, but rather than having a numbing effect, it felt cumulative. Compounding pain that came in waves and didn’t let go.

  “Stupid,” she burbled, hitting herself in the forehead. “Stupid, stupid, stupid! People like you don’t get happy endings. When are you ever going to learn?”

  She had no job, no house, and her family was fractured. She couldn’t do this on her own. In the past, pride would have stopped her from dialing the number, but not now. She called the one person that had been there with her before.

  As Bonnie picked up, Christina began to cry. “I need you. I need you to get me out of here. You were right. I was wrong. But… please. I don’t want any questions or ‘I told you so’s’. I can’t... Right now, I just need someone to love me without judgment.”

  **********

  Riley

  “I feel like the moon, Dina,” Riley confessed to the empty room. “I can’t produce my own light. I knew leaving might cost me us, but I had to do it. I made a promise.”

  Rubbing a hand over his face, Riley felt exhausted. She was gone and for a moment, he imagined she’d never been there. He sat staring into space until the day turned to darkness.

  Crawling into bed, he fell asleep straight away. It was the first time he’d been able to sleep properly in months. Confession really was good for his black and twisted soul.

  Riley woke up with a start to find Steven and Jed standing over him, Cartman asleep on the end of the bed. He stared in confusion before realization hit him. “Oh fuck!” He blurted. “She was here. She was really here.”

  “That’s one way of putting it,” Jed snarled. “What did you do? What the fuck did you do?”

  Steven was looking around the room with wide eyes, making Riley angry. “Get out!” He ordered, lunging out of bed. “I don’t want you here.”

  “Tough shit,” Jed retorted. “We’re here, courtesy of Christina. Why she’d give a shit about you is beyond me.”

  Riley froze. “Where is she?” His heart sank as it all came crashing back to him.

  “Far away from you,” Jed sneered, shaking his head. “She called me, sounding like death warmed up. She wouldn’t tell me what happened, but I can guess. She just kept telling me I needed to come here for you.”

  “What’s wrong with him?” Steven asked Jed, as if Riley wasn’t there. Steven’s eyes slid to his brother and then away, fearing to make eye contact.

  “He’s sick,” Jed snapped. “He needs to dry out and have three square meals a day. Force fed, if necessary, but most of all he needs some meds.”

  “Fuck off!” Riley snarled. “I do not. I don’t need you or anyone else.”

  “Does he look well to you, Steven?” Jed retorted. Steven shook his head, infuriating Riley further. “He looks like a mental case because he is one and he stinks like he forgot how to turn on a shower.”

  Grabbing Riley by the front of his t-shirt, Jed pulled him forward until their faces were inches apart. “This is like a slow suicide and I’m not watching anymore,” Jed choked out, tears in his eyes. “I should have stopped this years’ ago, but I didn’t have the bollocks. You have everything to live for. You finally had her back. The woman you’ve hankered after all these years. She was yours, but you just had to do it, didn’t you? You just had to get up close and put the knife into that little girl.”

  Riley erupted, lashing out, but Steven wrapped his arms around him. “I’m poison!” Riley yelled. “She shouldn’t be anywhere near me. Why did she come here? Who let her?”

  Dragging his fingers through his hair, Riley choked out. “I’ll just be another thing for her to take care of, another problem. I can’t be that guy. I can’t be him.”

  “I don’t know what the hell is going on here,” Steven muttered. “Is someone going to explain this to me? Or am I supposed to pretend this isn’t happening because I can do that. I’m comfortable with that.”

  “He’s bipolar,” Jed snapped. “He goes off his meds to write fucking music for the band. We have systems in place to make sure he’s okay, and I usually keep an eye on him, but this time he got away from me. ”

  “I’m not bipolar!” Riley snarled. “I’m on the spectrum, that’s all. Sure, I’m down, but I’ll be fine.”

  “I don’t think you’re fine, Nick,” Steven breathed out in a rush. “What can I do?”

  “Strip him naked and get him in the shower,” Je
d ordered and when Steven balked, Jed scowled. “I might call him brother, but I’m not. You’re the blood relation, so if anyone is getting up close and personal with his nakedness, it’s you. I’m going to clean this fucking mess up. We’ll take him to the farmhouse and call a doctor, but we need to keep this quiet. Understand?”

  Steven nodded and without another word started undressing Riley, forcing him in the shower. As the water hit Riley in the face, he sank to the floor, putting his head in his hands. It made him feel semi-human, but it brought a clarity that he didn’t welcome. He’d finally shown Christina his true face and driven her away.

  Chapter Twenty-One: Hitch

  Gabby, Shanwick, The Present, Friday, January 18, 2013

  “Close enough,” Gabby grinned, pulling a data stick out of her computer. “Time to get this show on the road.” Taking two burner phones out of her top drawer, she grabbed the bag she’d packed, and headed upstairs to Dina’s room.

  Rummaging through a box of Christina’s stuff, she found what she was looking for and stuck it in her handbag. It had been five days since Christina returned from Lift grief-stricken before fleeing the family home. She’d watched in impotent rage as Dina threw stuff in boxes, crying like a wounded animal.

  Being inactive was never a good thing for Gabby, but timing, as they say, is everything. As she watched her sister get trashed online, Gabby’s fury built to epic proportions and she began to formulate a plan. Now, it was time to execute it.

  There were few people in this world that Gabby loved, but Christina was one of them. Her sister attracted haters like ducks trying to peck her to death and the injustice rankled Gabby. Unlike her and Johnny, Dina was the only Martin sibling that made an effort to fit in. Her reward: to be savaged by all and sundry. As far as Gabby was concerned, if people didn’t like how she acted, they were free not to watch.

  Finding her father, Johnny, and Tessa in the kitchen, Gabby confronted them. She’d never been much for preamble, preferring shock value to long-winded explanations. “I’m leaving,” she smiled. “There are sides to this and I’m on Dina’s.”

  “What?” Johnny asked, his face a mask of childlike confusion. “There aren’t sides to this. We’re family. We’re just as hurt as you are.”

  Gabby shrugged. She wasn’t the sentimental one in the family, but the stone-cold realist. “The person you could guilt trip, Johnny, doesn’t live here anymore. She left five days go. There are sides and until you two realize that women in this family have value too, I’m out of here.”

  “What on earth do you mean?” her father bellowed, making her roll her eyes. “You are valued in this family. You and your sister are loved very much.”

  Her father’s head-in-the-sand policy was typical and predictable. It was also borderline delusional and irritating. She loved her father and her brother, but her sister needed her more.

  “Whatever,” Gabby laughed. “There’s no evidence for that.” Stepping into her father’s face, Gabby held his eyes. “You’re all about the balls, Dad! Precious Johnny, precious Riley. You never even bothered to teach Dina and I any musical instruments. You taught Johnny and Riley. Hell, you even helped that prick, Dave, with the drums. In your grand plan, Dina and I were nothing but back-up singers.”

  Her father’s face fell and she knew she’d crushed him, but he needed to get over himself. “We, vaginas, are like second-class citizens and it’s time for emancipation,” Gabby sneered. “Dina’s already left and one of us needs to show some solidarity. I guess it’s not going to be either of you two?”

  Ignoring her family’s protestations, Gabby took the keys for Riley’s Audi, enjoying the irony. Once he surfaced, she was sure he’d appreciate the gall of her theft, but she was so angry with him right now, that if she thought about it for too long, she’d have to do something to him. Although her loyalty lay with Dina, she loved Riley and wouldn’t cross that boundary unless she had to. She hadn’t, however, fully taken revenge off the table.

  Gabby made Seattle mid-afternoon, leaving Riley’s car at his house in Fremont. She was tempted to trash his car, but thought better of it. Not for reasons of conscience, but because she didn’t want to draw too much attention to herself. Instead, she called a cab for Western Avenue to engage with the one wild card in her plan and she was looking forward to it.

  **********

  “Mason Glenn, please,” Gabby smiled at the receptionist, who was hurriedly checking the computer. His offices were industrial and chrome with full-length windows, providing a beautiful view of the water. Such beauty was wasted on Gollum, who probably spent most of his day watching porn.

  “I don’t have an appointment,” she told the flustered receptionist, “but he’ll see me. Tell him Mini-Darth Martin is here to see him and I can’t reiterate how important it is for him to meet with me. Please convey that he really wants to see me.”

  After half an hour, the troll appeared, leering at her as if he was the spider and she the fly. He ushered her into his office that looked as if adolescent boys had decorated it. There was nothing like a replica of the Emperor’s chair from Star Wars that said: ‘I am a man child that will never grow up and also, a major dick’.

  Sitting opposite Mason, Gabby smiled, but remained silent. Mason’s colorless eyes glittered and the smile that crossed his face was predatory. “This is a surprise,” he leered. “I can’t say it’s welcome, but I am intrigued. Tell me, how’s Darth? I’m sure things must be difficult for her at the moment, what with all the adverse publicity.”

  “It was you,” Gabby stated bluntly and her eyes narrowed. She watched Mason frown in confusion, his head tilting to the side. Shit was about to get real.

  “Excuse me?” He laughed. “You’ll have to be more specific. Your statement could include anything from the sublime to the ridiculous.” Tell one, dissembling.

  Pulling out a copy of Mason’s check he sent Dina for the Foundation, Gabby pointed to the account numbers. “You know when you come from a family like mine,” she smiled, “with people who have large personalities, you learn to observe. I don’t know what it is, but I’ve always been able to see connections and patterns that other people don’t. Mainly because there’s little about human nature that surprises me, especially when it comes to darker impulses.”

  Mason looked bemused, as if he was humoring a child. This appealed to Gabby’s dark and twisted sense of self. She loved being under-estimated.

  “You funded the blog in Shanwick, setting those little parasites on Dina,” she added. “You’re good at covering your tracks Mason, but I’m good too, and I knew what I was looking for. I hacked your bank accounts, don’t worry I didn’t take any money this time, but I found some anomalies that coincided with those little shits being funded for the blog.”

  Mason went still and then sat back in his chair, studying her like he’d never seen her before. He blinked, before waving his hand in her direction, as if she was ridiculous. “Hacking bank accounts is a criminal offence, Mini-Darth. You could go to jail for that and your allegations would be difficult to prove in a court of law.” His voice was an octave lower than normal and his appeal to authority indicated he felt threatened. Tell two, fear.

  “Jail doesn’t bother me,” Gabby giggled, hunching her head into her shoulders. She knew the effect this had on people. It creeped them out, making her appear like a demonic child. “I’m not going to take this to Court, silly. I’m going to give it to Riley and tell him my hunches about your involvement. For all I know, you tipped that bitch, Lana Hamilton, off about Riley writing the lyrics, sparking this shit storm.”

  Leaning forward and wagging a finger, Gabby grinned. “You see I have this hunch that Riley’s burden of proof would be less stringent than a court of law. I suspect that if he knew you were intimately involved with what’s gone down, he’d rain hell on you, and you would lose the only true friend you’ve ever had forever.”

  Mason sat still as a statue and the only indication that he was a semi-living human
being was his furious eyes. He sat forward, swiping under his nose with his thumb and forefinger. “I don’t like being blackmailed, Gabby,” Mason glared. “You’re not the first and you won’t be the last. Your family connections won’t save you, not if you pursue this course of action.” Tell three, anger.

  Gabby smiled. “Blackmail is such an ugly word, Mason. I like to think of this,” she wagged her finger between them, “as conscription. A social compact of coerced cooperation. You see, you went after my sister, I’m coming after you, and sooner or later, someone else is going to put this together. Andy’s hot on your trail, he just doesn’t know he’s looking for you, yet. I’m happy to tell him and he’ll tell Riley. After all, he’s working for him. Unless, of course, you and I come to some kind of arrangement, which will leave you time to cover your tracks better.”

  Adopting a conciliatory face, Mason attempted to placate her. “Let’s just say, hypothetically,” he shrugged, “and I’ll neither confirm nor deny that I may have had some involvement, not as much as you seem to think I have, I might add, but what would satisfy you into keeping this information to yourself? I have considerable resources at my disposal and I can close the blog in Shanwick immediately.” Tell four, bargaining.

  “Hypothetically,” Gabby air quoted, “I’d tell you to stick your money up your ass and light it. What I’d be interested in seeing is a change of direction in the blog’s focus. You know, make it the biggest fan boy and girl site for my family, and all things Shanwick.”

  “Done,” Mason breathed, but he wasn’t getting off the hook that easy.

  “But what would really seal the deal for me, would be your help in executing a little plan I have,” Gabby smiled, but it was chilling. Mason’s eyes narrowed and his shoulders sagged infinitesimally. Tell five, conditional acceptance.

  Placing the data stick on the desk, Gabby stared directly into Mason’s eyes. “What I want is access to your troll army and in particular, to make what’s on here go viral. I want you to hack Entertain You and leave these pictures on their website at exactly 7.30 P.M tomorrow night. I like the synchronicity. It’ll be exactly one week to the day that Lana Hamilton publicly attacked my family and now we’re striking back.”