Sarah's Secret

by Catherine George

  ‘You don’t have to.’ With a triumphant smile Jake opened the end cupboard door to reveal a small refrigerator and a shelf full of glasses. ‘I investigated while you were in the bath earlier on. How about some champagne?’

  ‘I was thinking more of mineral water!’

  ‘There’s some of that, too. You can have it later. The champagne’s only a half-bottle, so your share won’t knock you out. I’ll even let you ruin it with fruit juice if you like.’

  ‘How kind!’

  Jake half filled a champagne flute and topped it up with orange juice, poured a glass of wine for himself, then opened the windows to the sultry night before he sat down on the chair drawn up to Sarah’s settle. ‘I think we’ve toasted the bride and groom well and truly already, so this one’s for us,’ he said, touching his glass to hers.

  ‘To us,’ repeated Sarah, and sipped her drink. ‘Mmm, lovely. In fact the entire day was lovely, Jake. Except for one particular incident,’ she added tartly.

  He shrugged. ‘Sorry about that. You were looking at Nick with such yearning in your eyes I was jealous as hell.’

  ‘It was envy, not yearning, Jake.’ She drained her glass and put it down on the table. ‘Nick’s the last of my crowd to get married, which leaves me as the only single one left. For a moment I couldn’t help envying the security the others take for granted in their relationships.’

  Jake nodded slowly. ‘Whereas you bring Davy up alone.’

  Sarah reached out to touch his hand. ‘Which is no hardship, Jake, I assure you. Blame my split-second of envy on wedding-day emotion. I was back on course right away, I promise.’

  ‘Good. By the way, talking of Davy, she told me that Polly’s dad is running in the fathers’ race on sports day,’ said Jake, the sudden change of subject startling Sarah considerably.

  ‘She didn’t tell me there was a fathers’ race—oh, no!’ She eyed him in alarm. ‘I suppose that means there’s a mothers’ race, too.’

  ‘Oh, yes. And Davy’s entered you for it.’ Jake’s lips twitched. ‘That’s not all. At the Rogers’ lunch she suggested I run in the fathers’ race with Don, but I had to explain that, not being a father, I wasn’t eligible.’

  ‘Good heavens!’ said Sarah, astounded. ‘She never said a word to me, the monkey. Sorry she put you on the spot like that.’

  ‘I’m not sorry. I took it as a good sign.’

  ‘Of what?’

  ‘That she approves of me, possibly even likes me. Which,’ added Jake, putting his glass down, ‘brings me to a subject I’ve been waiting for the right time to discuss.’

  ‘What is it?’ she said warily.

  His eyes locked on Sarah’s. ‘When I booked this room I didn’t foresee that you’d be sharing it with me. But now you’re a captive audience I have something to say. So listen, Sarah.’

  ‘For heaven’s sake, Jake,’ she said impatiently, ‘you’re making me nervous. Just say it, whatever it is.’

  He stood up abruptly, something in his attitude sending Sarah’s heart racing with apprehension by the time he spoke.

  ‘You must know that I’m in love with you,’ he said at last, taking her breath away. ‘And I believe you’re not indifferent to me, either. Is that true?’

  Sarah nodded mutely, her eyes fixed on his.

  ‘I’ve thought about this a lot,’ he went on. ‘And it’s obvious you won’t allow yourself anything warmer than friendship with me, or even let yourself respond to me normally, because of what happened first time round.’

  ‘But—’

  He held up a hand. ‘Let me finish. With you I want—need—so much more than friendship.’ Jake breathed in deeply, a pulse throbbing beside his mouth. ‘I know I said brave things about being satisfied with whatever relationship you wanted. But the kind I want, darling, is marriage.’

  CHAPTER NINE

  BECAUSE her heart was pounding and the room was very warm, Sarah sat perfectly still, needing all her energy just to breathe. ‘You say you’ve given this thought,’ she said at last.

  Jake sat down again, long legs outstretched, the animation draining from his face. ‘Do I take that as a no?’

  She gave him a long, troubled look. ‘Have you taken Davy into consideration?’

  ‘Of course I have.’

  ‘But you’re only thirty years old, Jake. Which is pretty young to take on a nine-year-old child.’

  ‘Older than you,’ he pointed out.

  ‘That’s different.’

  ‘I know. You’re her mother. But, unlike your defecting friend, I’m sure I could make a good stepfather. I like Davy. And maybe I don’t shape up to Don Rogers in her eyes, but I think she likes me. Or could do, given the chance to get to know me.’ He turned to look at her. ‘You won’t expose Davy to any temporary arrangement with a man in case she gets hurt. I understand that. But in this case temporary doesn’t come into it. I want you for keeps, Sarah. Both of you.’

  Sarah blinked, then blinked again more rapidly, but tears poured down her cheeks, and, lacking something to mop them up, she knuckled them from her eyes and gave a loud, unromantic sniff.

  Jake got up to fetch a container of tissues from the bathroom. ‘Compliments of the management,’ he said, handing it to her.

  Sarah mopped her eyes, blew her nose, then gave him a damp smile of apology. ‘Sorry about that. I don’t do tears much.’

  Jake swung her feet to the floor and sat down, putting his arm round her shoulders. ‘I didn’t mean to make you cry. And if the thought of marrying me affects you like that perhaps we’d better forget all about it.’

  Easier said than done, thought Sarah despairingly. Until he’d brought the subject up she’d had no idea she wanted to marry Jake. Or hadn’t allowed herself to consider the possibility.

  ‘If we did marry,’ she began, tensing as she felt his arm tighten, ‘wouldn’t your family find it strange you’d chosen a woman with a child, rather than a more conventional bride?’

  ‘I’ve no idea,’ he said, shrugging. ‘If you were past the age of having more children it would be different. But you’re what? Twenty-seven?’

  She nodded.

  He raised her face to his, giving the smile that did such damage to her defences. ‘I’m sure we could provide Davy with a couple of siblings with no trouble at all, my darling.’

  It wasn’t fair, she thought in anguish. The endearment, reinforced by a clamouring voice in her head which urged her to say yes, was hard to fight. Suddenly her resistance vanished, and she yielded to the arms which closed round her. Why should she fight? It would be so good to have a man in her life. And not just any man, but one she could trust, and who was happy to include Davy in his proposal.

  ‘Jake,’ she said at last, raising her head. ‘I know this isn’t the answer you deserve, but would you give me a little time to think it over?’

  He gave her a searching look, then shook his head. ‘I’d like to be noble and say take as much time as you want. But if you’re going to turn me down I’d rather you did it now—made it a clean break.’

  Sarah felt a rush of pure dismay. ‘So if I say no that’s it? Over and out?’

  ‘I want you for my wife, Sarah, with everything the word implies. I won’t settle for anything less.’ His eyes darkened. ‘Do you feel anything for me at all?’

  ‘You know very well that I do,’ she said with heat, and detached herself from his hold. ‘In fact, I can’t think straight when I’m so close to you.’

  ‘Which is encouraging,’ he said wryly as she stood up.

  ‘Jake,’ said Sarah with sudden decision. ‘If you’ll wait until morning I’ll give you my answer then.’

  ‘A recipe for a sleepless night, if ever I heard one! Not,’ added Jake, heaving a sigh, ‘that it was going to be restful anyway.’ He got up and gave her a swift, hard kiss. ‘Go on. You take the bathroom first. In the meantime I shall pitch my tent.’

  Sarah gave him a grateful smile. ‘Thank you, Jake.’

  ‘What
for this time?’

  ‘For the proposal. It’s my first.’

  He narrowed his eyes at her. ‘And last, too, if I have anything to do with it.’

  When Sarah came out of the bathroom, feeling desperately hot in the hotel dressing gown over her cotton nightshirt, Jake had set up a makeshift bed on the floor, with blankets and a pillow.

  ‘That looks horribly uncomfortable,’ she said, eyeing it guiltily. ‘This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have asked to share.’

  ‘I could hardly make the suggestion myself,’ he pointed out. ‘But the moment I heard Grania was expecting a baby I began trying to work out some way of giving her my room without embarrassing you.’

  She grinned. ‘It would have been pretty hard for Grania and Frances to swallow that we weren’t sleeping together.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because they think you’re a charmer, and sexy with it!’

  ‘I only wish you shared their enthusiasm,’ he said dryly.

  Sarah gave him a wry little smile. ‘Actually, I do.’

  With a growl Jake started towards her, stopped dead, then turned on his heel and strode off to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

  Sarah took off the dressing gown and slid under the covers, then turned off the lamp at her side of the bed. This, she thought despondently, was going to be a long, long night. She felt hot and restless, but forced herself to keep very still when Jake crossed the room to turn off the other lamp. She waited, perspiration beading her upper lip. And knew she had no earthly right to feel disappointed when he let himself down on the floor instead of sliding into bed with her.

  Convinced that heat and tension would keep her awake all night, Sarah lay so still that eventually she dozed, only to wake with a violent start as the room lit up and thunder rolled. The curtains blew out into the room on a gush of hot wind as rain sheeted down outside, and she lay rigid, heart hammering, determined not to make a sound. But when the storm moved ominously closer she burrowed under the pillows to shut out the lightning which lit up the room. They were insulation neither against the noise, nor against her gasp of fright. Jake got up to close the windows against the rain blowing in, then switched on the lamp. He sat on the edge of the bed, removed the pillows and pulled Sarah into his arms.

  ‘Are you all right?’ he asked, smoothing her hair as she hid her face against his bare chest.

  ‘No, I’m not!’ she wailed as another crack of thunder shook the room.

  ‘Don’t worry. There’s a lightning conductor on the roof,’ he said into her ear. ‘You’re shivering. Are you cold?’

  She shook her head vehemently. ‘Anything but. Sorry about this, Jake. I’d better shut myself in the bathroom until it’s over.’

  ‘There’s a window in there, too,’ he pointed out. ‘Festooned with dolphins, but not lightning-proof.’

  Sarah gave a smothered scream as lightning forked through the room a split-second before thunder cracked overhead. She clung on to Jake for dear life, and he went rigid for a moment, then laid her back down on the bed.

  Sarah gazed up at him beseechingly. ‘Don’t leave me!’

  Jake looked down at her, jaw clenched, then he slid in beside her, drew her into his arms, tucked her head against his shoulder and pulled the sheet over them both. ‘Is that better?’

  ‘Better’ didn’t begin to describe it, thought Sarah as another crack of thunder propelled her against him. ‘Much better,’ she whispered against his throat.

  Jake lay motionless as an effigy, but Sarah felt heat baking from his body into hers, and her heart thumped when she registered that his only covering was a pair of thin cotton boxers. Which were no disguise for his arousal.

  When another crack of thunder sent her burrowing closer Jake groaned and tried to thrust her away, but Sarah clung to him with such desperation his control abruptly snapped. His arms closed round her like steel bands, making it impossible for her to flinch away. He kissed her hungrily, savagely, his mouth ravaging hers as though the elements had stripped away the charm to leave the basic man in command. His lips and tongue demanded a response she gave with such abandon the breath tore through his chest as his pillaging mouth left hers to move down her throat. His hands slid up her thighs to caress the outline of her hips and waist, then he stripped the nightshirt over her head and tossed it on the floor. Lying propped on an elbow, Jake hung over her, his fingers tracing a path from her parted mouth to her thighs, the silence broken only by their rapid breathing now the storm had begun to move away. Sarah knew that he was giving her the opportunity to change her mind, to draw back as she always had long before this stage was reached. But for the first time it was different. She wanted this. She wanted Jake. When she held up her arms in fierce entreaty his eyes lit with such heat her breath caught as his hands slid upwards to cup her breasts and lift them to his hungry mouth.

  ‘Jake, I must—’ she gasped, but he swung his body over hers and stifled her words with a kiss so explicit it sent everything out of her head.

  ‘Don’t stop me now, darling,’ he breathed against her lips. ‘I want you so much it hurts. But I want you to need this as much as I do.’

  He went on kissing her, and she gave a stifled moan as his mouth moved down to join the fingers caressing her breasts. Sarah shivered at the almost unbearable feelings he was plucking from deep inside her as he pulled on each sensitised nipple, igniting all the need he could ever want. Jake slid a hand between her thighs to find the hot, liquid proof of it, and drew in a deep, unsteady breath of pure satisfaction, his eyes holding hers as his long, expert fingers caused waves of sensation which flooded her with such hot, throbbing pleasure she choked back a scream, then lay with astonished eyes still locked with his as the aftershocks faded. He smiled triumphantly and kissed her parted mouth, then slid over her to lie between her thighs.

  ‘Jake—’ she tried again, but he laid a finger on her lips.

  ‘Do you want me?’ he demanded.

  ‘Yes. Desperately—but I’ve never done this before!’ she blurted.

  Jake stared at her in utter disbelief. He would have pulled away, but Sarah revolved her hips against his in fierce demand. ‘This is how much I want you,’ she said through her teeth. ‘So, having got this far, you’d better make love to me now or I’ll go mad. Please!’

  Jake needed no second bidding. He entered her with a smooth thrust she responded to with a sharp intake of breath at the small, tearing pain of it. His head flew up, but Sarah smiled up into his questioning eyes and locked her hands behind his neck. ‘Don’t stop!’

  ‘I can’t,’ he groaned, and moved inside her. Sarah made a relishing little sound of appreciation, discovering that pain had been replaced by pleasure which grew fiercer and hotter as Jake made love to her with all the skill at his command. Her emotions heightened by the storm, Sarah responded with such fervour to the unfamiliar bliss of possession that his careful expertise quickly deserted him, and he crushed her close as they surged together towards fulfilment which overtook him long before he’d intended, and he lay gasping in her arms in the throes of a climax he knew she hadn’t shared.

  ‘Darling, I’m sorry,’ he groaned, and rubbed his cheek against hers in contrition.

  Sarah gave him a lazy, exultant smile. ‘Don’t be. One each. Only fair.’

  Jake laughed deep in his throat, and smoothed the damp hair away from her forehead. ‘Next time,’ he promised, ‘we’ll make it together.’

  He rolled over onto his back and drew her against him, one hand smoothing her hair as their heartbeats slowed. Sarah felt such a wave of love for him she heaved in a deep, tremulous sigh and reached up to kiss him.

  ‘Thank you,’ he whispered. ‘Was that for anything in particular?’

  ‘Your extraordinary forbearance.’

  Jake turned his head to look at her, making no attempt to misunderstand. ‘I love you, Sarah. And I admit I’m poleaxed. Neither of which entitles me to ask questions you’re not ready to answer.’
<
br />   ‘Yes, it does,’ she said at once, and smiled at him. ‘If we are going to marry—’

  ‘No doubt about it,’ he assured her with arrogance.

  ‘Then you deserve an explanation.’

  Jake looked at her in silence for a moment. His eyes, reverted now to their normal colour, were thoughtful. ‘I won’t deny that part of me is burning with curiosity, my darling. But before any explanations let’s have a drink and just relax for a while.’

  Sarah agreed gratefully. Her emotions were running so high it seemed a good idea to calm down for a while before she told him the truth about Davy. ‘Only I’ll have that mineral water this time.’

  Jake pulled the sheet over her, then went to the drinks cupboard and filled two glasses with a mixture of mineral water and fruit juice.

  ‘Nothing stronger for you?’ Sarah said, surprised.

  Jake sat beside her and leaned against the pillows, smiling into her eyes. ‘No. I’m intoxicated enough already.’

  She gave him a speaking look of thanks, drained the glass quickly, set it down on the bedside table, then wriggled close to him. ‘It’s been a very eventful day.’

  Jake finished his own drink, then put his arms round her. ‘And night,’ he added, rubbing his cheek over her hair. ‘And just in case you have any doubts I’m spending the rest of it right here in this bed. With you.’

  ‘Of course you are.’ She smiled up at him. ‘Because you don’t snore, Jake. At least you haven’t done so far.’

  He grinned. ‘Probably because I haven’t been to sleep.’

  ‘No wonder. It must have been horribly uncomfortable on the floor,’ she said with sympathy.

  ‘That was only a contributory factor. The real reason for my insomnia was right here, in this bed but out of reach.’ Jake kissed her. ‘How did you expect me to sleep in those circumstances?’

  ‘I’m not out of reach now,’ she pointed out.

  ‘No,’ he agreed huskily, and pulled her closer. ‘Are you tired, darling?’

  ‘Not in the least,’ she said, surprised to find she was right. ‘I thought people went straight to sleep after making love.’