Sarah's Secret

by Catherine George

  ‘Then of course I won’t. I love that ring.’ Sarah buried her face against his shoulder. ‘I love you, too, Jacob Hogan.’

  ‘In that case,’ he whispered, ‘let me remove any last, lingering doubts from your mind, my darling. You belong to me. And I’m going to have you.’

  ‘Now?’

  ‘Now!’

  When Sarah picked her grandmother up from the airport Margaret Parker received the news with deep misgiving as they drove home.

  ‘This comes as a shock, Sarah. I’ve always hoped that one day you’d find someone to trust with the truth, of course, but you’ve only just met this man.’

  ‘But I knew from the first that I could trust Jake,’ Sarah assured her. ‘And quite apart from that I like him so much, as well as being madly in love with him.’ She turned steady eyes on her grandmother’s set face for a moment. ‘I think I deserve this. So try to be happy for me. Please.’

  Margaret Parker let out a deep sigh. ‘Very well, Sarah. I’ll do my best. When will I have the opportunity for congratulations?’

  ‘This evening. Jake’s coming to dinner. He wanted to take us out, but I wasn’t sure how you’d feel after the flight so he’s having a meal sent in.’

  ‘How kind of him,’ said Margaret, thawing somewhat. ‘Have you met any of the Hogan family yet?’

  ‘Not yet. We were waiting for you to get back. Jake’s just waiting for me to give the go-ahead before telling his parents. At which point,’ Sarah warned, ‘he says his mother will immediately gather the Hogan clan together for a celebration meal to meet the three of us.’

  Margaret eyed Sarah searchingly. ‘How did Davy take to the idea of Jake as a stepfather?’

  ‘With tremendous enthusiasm. She’s even invited him to sports day. Now, tell me all about Florence.’

  With Jake on terrific form, and Sarah, ring prominently displayed, so obviously floating on a pink cloud, Margaret Parker unbent enough to drink a congratulatory toast in the champagne Jake had brought, but she retired to bed straight after the meal.

  ‘Jet lag,’ she explained, as she said goodnight.

  ‘Jet lag after a two-hour flight?’ said Jake, once she’d gone upstairs. ‘Or does she disapprove of me?’

  ‘Not of you, personally.’ Sarah shrugged. ‘She’s just in a state because you know the truth. You’ll have to give her time to come round. I didn’t expect her to be happy about it straight away.’

  He took her in his arms, rubbing his cheek against her hair. ‘The important thing to me is that you are happy.’

  ‘I am. Blissfully,’ sighed Sarah. ‘Though I hope your family shows more enthusiasm than Grandma did.’

  ‘Of course they will. I’ll tell them this weekend, to give my mother enough notice to kill the fatted calf.’

  ‘I’m a bit nervous,’ confessed Sarah.

  Jake turned her face up to his, his eyes utterly serious. ‘You have nothing to worry about where my family is concerned. But even in the unlikely event that they do disapprove, it won’t make a shred of difference, Sarah. As long as you love me, nothing else matters.’

  When Jake arrived on the Friday evening Davy rushed to open the door to him, and told him in no uncertain terms that she was thrilled about the forthcoming wedding. Over supper Davy chattered incessantly, and was almost as downcast as Sarah when she heard Jake was away next day.

  ‘But it’s Saturday. I hoped you’d go swimming with us, Jake,’ she said, disappointed.

  ‘I’d much rather do that than talk boring old business in Birmingham,’ he assured her. ‘The people I need to see are only available tomorrow, unfortunately.’ He slanted a glance at Sarah. ‘Let me take you out to Sunday lunch instead.’

  ‘Grandma always cooks that,’ said Davy.

  ‘We’ll ask her to come out with us, to give her a rest. Then the following weekend you can all have Sunday lunch with my family,’ said Jake.

  It was a prospect which occupied Sarah constantly during the time away from Jake, but when he arrived to take them out for Sunday lunch, as arranged, he made a thumbs-up sign when Sarah opened the door to him, and told her that his entire family were delighted with his news.

  ‘Liam, too,’ he added.

  ‘I’m looking forward to meeting him,’ said Sarah. Which wasn’t exactly true. She had qualms about meeting all the Hogans. ‘Grandma thanks you for your invitation, by the way, but she’s not feeling too good. Migraine.’

  ‘I’m sorry about that. Tell her I hope she’ll join us next time.’

  Much to Davy’s delight Jake drove her back to Roedale later, where her day was crowned by the triumph of telling Polly about the wedding.

  ‘No problem about going back to school tonight,’ said Jake, laughing as the child made a bee-line for her friends.

  ‘She’s settled in very well now—even wants to stay on a week for summer school. They make dens in the school grounds, put on plays, go on picnics, and so on,’ said Sarah on the journey back to Jake’s flat. ‘I’m glad Davy’s spreading her wings at last.’

  ‘Does it mean extra expense?’ asked Jake. ‘If so, let me pay, darling.’

  She smiled at him gratefully. ‘Thanks for the offer, but it’s sorted already, from my nest-egg fund.’

  He gave her one of his straight looks. ‘When I’m her stepfather I’ll consider it my prerogative to foot her bills, Sarah.’

  ‘And so you shall. But not until we’re married.’ She shrugged. ‘Silly, I know, but it would seem too much like tempting fate beforehand.’

  ‘Sarah.’ Jake took her in his arms as they went up in the lift. ‘I know life’s dealt you a tough hand to play in the past, but from now on things will be different, I promise. You have my personal guarantee.’

  Sarah was happy to believe him. Other than her grandmother’s lukewarm attitude to her engagement, the only cloud left on her horizon was the prospect of meeting Jake’s family. Despite Jake’s assurances to the contrary, she was still convinced that the Hogans would have preferred their son’s bride to produce a daughter after the marriage rather than nine years beforehand.

  Glad of the pink dress for the occasion, Sarah decided that new shoes would be good for her morale. The frivolous sandals worn to the wedding wouldn’t do to meet her future in-laws. A little frisson of excitement ran down her spine at the mere thought of in-laws, just the same, simply because it brought home the reality of marrying Jake.

  As soon as Sarah finished work next day she hit the shops. An hour later, in possession of classic fawn pumps, she was on her way back to the office to collect her usual homework when her heart gave a leap of recognition as she caught sight of Jake in the familiar car he’d parked under the trees in the Parade. She hurried down the pavement, waving to attract his attention, then dropped her hand, colour draining from her face when a woman slid into the passenger seat and brought Jake’s face down to hers. Rooted to the spot, Sarah stared in sick disbelief while she watched him kiss his companion with a casual familiarity which turned her stomach. Yet for the life of her she couldn’t look away. When he raised his head at last he looked straight at Sarah, raised a quizzical eyebrow, gave her an outrageous wink, smiled his famous, eye-crinkling smile and drove off.

  Sarah walked back to the office in a daze. She collected the mail, said her goodbyes, and started for home through a world disintegrating in jagged pieces all around her. But Sarah’s numbness gave way to anguish as she thought of Davy. What possible explanation could she give Davy for changing her mind about marrying Jake? The truth was too unpalatable for herself, let alone a nine-year-old child. What a fool she’d been. And she had only herself to blame for letting it get so far. It had been her own fault, right from asking to share the bridal suite to the point where she’d literally begged Jake to make love to her.

  ‘You look terrible. What’s wrong?’ demanded Margaret Parker, who was paying off a taxi when Sarah arrived home.

  ‘The engagement’s off,’ said Sarah, and closed the door behind them as they went
inside.

  Her grandmother stared in astonishment. ‘Good heavens, Sarah. Why?’

  ‘I’ve just seen Jake with another woman.’

  To her credit, Margaret Parker patted Sarah’s shoulder in an attempt at comfort. ‘Could it have been a sister, perhaps?’

  ‘I certainly hope not, the way they were kissing.’ Sarah’s eyes flashed gold fire.

  ‘Where on earth was all this going on?’

  ‘In a car parked in full view in the Parade.’

  Margaret’s eyes widened incredulously. ‘There must be some mistake, surely.’

  ‘If someone else had told me I might have swallowed that. But seeing is believing. He looked straight at me after—after kissing the woman.’ Sarah’s teeth began to chatter. ‘He—even smiled—at me.’

  Margaret marched her granddaughter into the kitchen. ‘Sit there. I’ll be back in a minute.’

  Too dazed with misery to wonder where her grandmother was going, Sarah sat slumped at the kitchen table until Margaret came back with a glass.

  ‘Brandy. Drink it up.’

  Sarah, rather astonished by her grandmother’s concern, obeyed, spluttered as her teeth knocked at the glass, then as the taste registered tears ran down her cheeks. ‘He gave me brandy when I told him my story at the hotel,’ she sobbed. ‘I trusted Jake. What a fool I was!’

  Margaret handed her a tissue. ‘I can’t deny I disapproved when you said you’d confided in him, but after getting to know him a little I would have sworn myself that Jake Hogan could be trusted.’

  Sarah blew her nose, then took a deep breath. ‘It’s not just for myself. I can get over it. It’s Davy I’m concerned about. She likes Jake so much.’ She shuddered. ‘But I just can’t bear the fact that he knows such personal things about me.’

  ‘How did you come to tell him?’

  ‘We—we made love after the wedding.’ Sarah blushed to the roots of her hair. ‘Because of Davy it was the first time for me, of course. So I had to explain.’

  Margaret nodded bleakly. ‘It had to happen one day, because you take after Anne in so many ways.’

  Sarah bristled. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Anne was just like you, head over heels in love the moment she met your father. Because you were on the way soon afterwards they got married right away. But you arrived late, unlike Davy, so no one ever knew.’

  ‘That must have been a relief for you,’ said Sarah acidly.

  ‘It was.’ Margaret shrugged. ‘I know you think it’s ridiculous, but respectability has always been of prime importance to me. I care about public opinion.’ She hesitated. ‘But Anne couldn’t help the nature she’d inherited.’

  Sarah stared at her grandmother, forgetting her anger and grief for a moment. ‘Are you saying that Mother took after you, Grandma?’

  Margaret smiled wryly. ‘Impossible to believe, obviously. And you’re right. It was your grandfather, not me.’ She braced herself. ‘He was unfaithful to me almost from the first, you see. Anne never knew because he was discreet, and I took great care to keep it from her. But living a lie takes a toll. And it made me very hard on Anne when she was growing up. And you too, Sarah.’

  ‘Heavens, Grandma,’ said Sarah, frowning. ‘I had no idea.’

  ‘Perhaps you can understand, now, how desperate I felt when she told me what had happened with Anthony Barrett. I was demented at the thought of your father’s grief, the reaction of my friends—’ Margaret breathed in deeply, looking every year of her age for once, and more. ‘None of which is any excuse for the sacrifice I demanded of you.’

  Two pairs of gold-flecked eyes met each other in silence for a moment.

  ‘It’s been hard at times, but I don’t regret it,’ said Sarah at last.

  Margaret cleared her throat rather noisily. ‘So. What will you do when Jake comes for you tonight?’

  ‘That’s not going to happen!’ Sarah’s jaw clenched. ‘He saw me looking at him and he didn’t care a bit.’

  Sarah was so sure Jake wouldn’t turn up she settled down in front of her computer to tackle the pile of mail she’d brought home. Wearing glasses because her eyes were too sore for contact lenses after crying so much, she did her best to concentrate, but it was hard to compose lucid syntax when her mind was going round in circles like a demented bee, trying to find some logical explanation for what she’d seen.

  Sarah was still so sure Jake wouldn’t come she picked up the receiver from force of habit when the doorbell rang, then stiffened in fury when she heard his voice over the intercom.

  ‘Hi, darling, let me in. It’s eighteen long hours since I kissed you—’

  ‘Get away from my door, Hogan!’ she spat. ‘Or I’ll call the police.’ She slammed down the receiver.

  The bell rang again at once. ‘Did you hear me?’ she shouted through the intercom.

  ‘For God’s sake, Sarah, what the hell’s wrong?’

  Only everything, she thought bitterly, and left the receiver off the hook, steeling herself to ignore the frantic demands crackling through it. After a while it went quiet, and she put it back. With relief, she assured herself. Glad she’d persuaded her grandmother to go out as planned, Sarah tried again to concentrate, then jumped out of her skin when a hard hand dropped on her shoulder.

  ‘What the hell was all that about?’ demanded Jake, his eyes blazing as he hauled her to her feet.

  ‘Take your hands off me,’ she flung at him, and backed away as far as she could in the crowded bedroom. ‘How did you get in here?’

  ‘Through the back garden. I picked the lock on your kitchen door. I advise you to change it.’ He was breathing hard, a white line round his mouth. ‘And don’t start on about the police again. Before I move an inch I demand to know what’s wrong.’

  Sarah pushed her glasses up her shiny nose, glaring at him through them. ‘Oh, please,’ she said scornfully. ‘Don’t come the innocent with me. You know exactly what’s wrong.’

  Jake stood with arms folded and legs apart, looming large in the confined space. ‘Actually, I don’t,’ he said with menace. ‘Elucidate.’

  She thrust a hand through her hair, glaring at him. ‘Did you actually think you could come here and take up where we left off after—after what I saw today?’

  Jake stared blankly. ‘What the devil are you talking about?’

  Sarah clenched her hands to keep from hitting him. ‘You. In a car. Snogging with some female in full view of passers-by. Including me. You saw me. You knew I’d seen you. But you laughed in my face.’

  ‘It wasn’t me,’ he said flatly.

  ‘I had my lenses in,’ she snapped. ‘I know it was you.’ She moved to the door. ‘Get out, Jake. Now. Or I will call the police.’

  ‘Sarah, there’s a simple explanation. If you’ll just listen—’

  ‘Get out of my sight!’ She marched out into the hall and opened the front door.

  Jake followed her, gave her a look which could have cut glass, then brushed past her and went out to his car. Sarah banged the door shut, deflated, and collapsed on her bed in angry tears. Hey, she reminded herself after a while, you don’t do tears. She went into the bathroom, scowled at the Pentiles lining it, washed her face and brushed her hair, polished her glasses, then went back to work.

  Due to severe lack of concentration it took longer than usual for Sarah to finish. She was in the kitchen, thinking about what, if anything, to eat for her supper, when the doorbell rang again. Breathing fire, she answered the intercom and heard Jake’s voice.

  ‘A word, please, Sarah.’

  Her instinct was to tell him to get lost, but she’d calmed down enough by this time for curiosity to get the better of her. She went along the hall to open the door, then stood, wide-eyed, when she found two men on her doorstep. Both tall, both fair, dressed in jeans and white shirts, they regarded her with eyes of identical ultramarine-blue, one pair gleaming with amusement, the other steel-hard with determination.

  ‘We’d like to come in,’
said Jake at last.

  Heart pounding, Sarah inclined her head regally, and stood aside for her visitors to go past. ‘Come to the sitting room.’

  ‘This is my brother, Liam,’ announced Jake.

  Sarah could see that for herself.

  ‘Hello, Miss Tracy,’ Liam said, in a voice so like Jake’s it made her shiver. ‘I didn’t realise who you were this afternoon.’

  The penny dropped so abruptly Sarah threw a wild look at Jake, who nodded in grim confirmation.

  ‘You refused to listen to explanations earlier, so I brought Liam along in the flesh to clarify things.’

  ‘I was the one you saw today,’ explained Liam. ‘If you want further proof, Serena’s outside in the car.’

  ‘The girl you saw Liam kissing,’ said Jake with emphasis.

  ‘Oh,’ said Sarah faintly, beset by several violent emotions all fighting at once for the upper hand.

  ‘It’s a common mistake,’ said Liam ruefully. ‘We’re often mistaken for each other.’

  ‘But now you’re both together the difference is obvious.’ To Sarah, anyway. Ignoring Jake, she managed an icy little smile for his brother. ‘Sorry to bring you out of your way like this. If I’d known the truth beforehand it wouldn’t have been necessary. Jake mentioned a brother, but forgot to say you were twins.’

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  ‘CUE to make myself scarce,’ said Liam. ‘Mustn’t keep Serena waiting.’

  ‘Won’t you bring her in for a drink?’ said Sarah politely.

  Liam shook his head. ‘Some other time, perhaps.’ He held out his hand. ‘Sarah, I’m very sorry for the mix up.’

  ‘Not your fault,’ she assured him, and shook his hand briefly.

  ‘You take the car, Liam,’ said Jake. ‘I’ll get a cab.’

  ‘By all means go with your brother,’ said Sarah, with hauteur.

  ‘I’m staying!’

  ‘And I’m going,’ said Liam hastily. ‘I’ll see myself out.’

  After he’d gone the silence in the room was deafening. In the end Jake was first to break it. He thrust a hand through his hair and turned away to stare into the twilight beyond the window.