Fall Into Me (A British Rockstar Romance)

by Nikki Wild

  “Jennifer Crane,” she answered, folding her arms over her chest. “My friends call me Jenna or Jen.” She smiled. “Which means you can call me Jennifer.”

  Tess just gave her a little nod. “We understand what a shock this must be to you Elizabeth. That being said, we think that perhaps we could turn this… happy accident to our mutual benefit.”

  “Happy accident? What in the hell are you talking about?” Elizabeth asked. “There’s no way that I’m doing anything except filing for a divorce or an annulment! What ‘mutual benefit’ do you think there is to any of this?”

  “Well,” Tessa said, taking a breath and steadying herself against Elizabeth’s shouting, “there is the matter of financial compensation. We’d be willing to negotiate a sizable settlement when we do deem a divorce to be prudent to our goals.”

  “Your goals?” Jen asked, cocking a brow. “What does that even mean?”

  Tessa blinked impassively. “I’m sure you’d find it fascinating. Although, I do believe I was talking to Mrs. Lawson here. Or rather, Mrs. Bastille.”

  The way Elizabeth flinched when Tessa mentioned my last name hurt a little. Was I really so unappealing to her? And why? Every other woman I’d met looked me like I was the juiciest steak they’d ever lain eyes on. But not her. Not Elizabeth. I rubbed at the back of my neck. Was this why she’d run out on me in Vegas?

  “You’ll have to leave,” Tessa continued, examining her nails. “I won’t continue this conversation any further with a fourth party in the room.”

  “She’s my friend!” Elizabeth protested, drawing Tessa’s attention again. “And the only one I have in this room. She’s not going anywhere.”

  Tessa squinted faintly behind her glasses. She was usually so good at this. Either her dismissals cowed whoever they were directed at, or she was able to manipulate them into a state of calm submission some other way. It looked like she’d finally met her match in Elizabeth.

  “I’m not prepared to speak about sensitive, perhaps even legal, matters in front of someone who’s not directly involved.”

  Elizabeth held her gaze. “Then don’t. You know where the door is.”

  Silence fell over the four of us for a long moment. Tessa had a point—we were discussing subjects that were better kept between as few people as possible. You know what they say: two can keep a secret, if one of them is dead. But on the other hand, Jen seemed so important to Elizabeth, and that immediately put me on her side of things. Maybe it was the way she didn’t let Tessa—or anyone, it seemed—push her around that turned me on so much. Whatever it was, I’d developed a sort of instant fondness for the girl.

  “What’s more important, Tess,” I ventured, “that we all pull out our dicks and measure them here, or that we make this girl who has so much riding on her cooperation feel just a teensy bit more comfortable?”

  Tessa seemed ready to rebuke me. Her lips parted, but no sound emerged. There was a look of consternation on her face, one that made her frown lines all the more prominent. I couldn’t help but smile. Ah, so this was what my manager looked like when she’d been outsmarted. Brilliant.

  She turned to Jen. “Just so long as you understand that whatever is said here, whatever deals are made, none of it leaves this room.”

  “Deals?” Elizabeth said, brow furrowed. “Evidently, Mr. Bastille and I got drunk and married in Vegas. That’s not exactly what I’d call a point of negotiation. What could you possibly get out of all this?”

  “Some good press,” Tessa stated matter-of-factly, nodding at me. “Mr. Bastille and I are looking to increase his presence in America, and having a bona fide scandal is the perfect way to get the ball rolling—and when the two of you eventually divorce, it’ll make for an even bigger news story. You two go your separate ways with your pockets significantly heavier.”

  “You don’t really seem like you want to be married to me,” I interjected, watching Elizabeth’s expression flicker. “I get that. But think about how much this’ll pay off for you if you just… play along. You must have things you need paid for, right? Would a few months of pretend marital bliss be so bad in exchange for a huge settlement once it’s all over?”

  I watched as the gears turned in her head. She was considering the offer, considering what we’d both said. But to my surprise, she didn’t look particularly happy about it. She glanced at her friend, Jenna, who gave a shake of her head that made her ebony curls bounce. Now she was the kind of girl I usually fell in with. Why couldn’t I have chosen someone like her, instead of the one woman on earth who senselessly hated my guts?

  Well, senseless if you didn’t count the fact that I’d married her in such an inebriated state that I didn’t even remember it. Or the fact I’d forgotten her name, probably just as quickly as I’d learned it. Or there was also the whole thing where, in the wake of said wedding there were now scores of paparazzi camped out at her door.

  All right, so maybe she had a few reasons…

  “Listen,” Elizabeth said at last, “I didn’t want any of this. I still don’t. I don’t care about any money or… or some publicity stunt. I just want to get back to my life and my job and get these goddamn reporters off my lawn. So if you can just both…”

  A cell phone buzzed. I checked my pockets, but mine was still on airplane mode. Tessa glanced at hers, but I could tell by the look on her face it was no dice. Jen went to her purse on the couch, but came back empty-handed.

  “That’s mine,” Elizabeth said, looking down at her screen. A small, relieved smile curled the corners of her lips, and I wished I knew what a full one might look like.

  “Finally!” she said, pushing past both me and Tessa as she walked down the hallway toward what must have been her bedroom.

  Tessa shook her head and walked a few feet away into the kitchen, dialing a number on her own cell phone. There were definitely people she needed to call, and my lawyer would be the first no matter how this little meeting went.

  “Sorry about that,” Jen said as I made it my somber duty to hold up the wall. “Liz has been waiting for that call all day.”

  “Something important?” I asked, flashing my usual grin—only this time, it seemed to have the desired effect.

  “Yeah—I mean, I think it might be,” Jen stammered, beaming like she’d just won the lottery. Well, at least someone here likes me, I thought. “Liz hasn’t been feeling well for the last couple of days, so it’s probably her doctor.”

  “Nothing too serious, I hope,” I said with a frown.

  Jen shook her head, those pretty ringlets of hers bouncing again. “I don’t think so. Stomach bug, probably.”

  The two of us stood there in silence for what seemed like forever, Jen idly rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet. It reminded me of that event Tessa had tried to make into a regular thing at my shows—meeting a fan before I’d gone on, before they’d even gotten drunk. It had just ended up being two people in a room feeling awkward. I was almost relieved when she opened her mouth again.

  “I feel really stupid saying this, but… I’m a huge fan.”

  Nervously, she chewed her bottom lip. I couldn’t help but give a chuckle.

  “It’s always nice meeting a fan,” I said. Hopefully, she’d forgiven me for my blunder in Vegas—the one that didn’t involve a marriage certificate. And if I was lucky, she wouldn’t start asking me about one of my—

  “Was I Wanna Feel You really about dating that supermodel back in 2007?” Jen asked, eyes all aglow. “Because I keep trying to tell my friend Sasha that it was about someone from back before you—”

  “It was a long time ago,” I interrupted, kindly but firmly. “Honestly, I forget who I wrote it about.”

  That was a lie; I remembered exactly why I wrote that song. Back in those days, I’d started to lose some traction in the industry—fans started dropping off, concerts weren’t sold out anymore—so Tessa sold me on the idea of writing a bunch of songs about a girl who got away. The whole album was pure bullshit
. That’s about the same time I’d taken up drinking as a hobby. It was easier to do things you didn’t want to do when you couldn’t actually feel yourself doing them.

  “Oh,” Jen said, her face falling slightly like I’d just told her that Santa wasn’t real. She recovered quickly enough, though. “Well, what about Give Me Some More? Who’d you write that one about?”

  I tried to give her that panty-wetting grin again, hoping to brighten her mood. I hated disappointing people, especially fans, but how much better did it make it to lie to her about why I wrote that garbage?

  “That one,” I said, putting on a wistful look in the hopes I could fool her into thinking I was reminiscing. “That one was about a girl I’d met when I was still just sixteen.”

  “That’s so sweet!” she cooed, stars in her eyes again.

  “I wasn’t always the man I am today,” I said, shaking my head. “That girl’s probably more deserving of the praise than I am.”

  Jen’s eyes widened. She started to smile, but all the air was sucked out of the room as Elizabeth joined us in the living room again.

  “Jesus, hun. You look like hell,” Jen said, rushing over to Elizabeth’s side. She wasn’t wrong—Elizabeth’s face was utterly ashen and her eyes were glazed with the kind of thousand-yard stare I hadn’t seen outside of combat veterans. “What’d the doctor say?”

  For a few moments, Elizabeth didn’t speak. Her knees were locked and trembling, and were it not for Jen’s support, I think she might have toppled right over. I took a step closer. The least I could do was catch the poor thing if she fainted.

  “Are you all right?” I asked her, dread coiling in my stomach.

  Elizabeth raised her eyes to me and I searched them, seeking some kind of understanding. All I saw in Elizabeth’s gaze was an indistinct, animal fear and a deep well of sadness. I braced myself for the worst.

  “No,” she said at last. “No, I’m not all right.” Her lower lip trembled and a sob wracked her shoulders. “I’m pregnant.”

  The breath left my lungs all at once. Maybe I had been preparing for the worst… but I certainly hadn’t been prepared for that.

  7

  Elizabeth

  “This is brilliant!” Julian’s manager—or was she his agent?—shrieked. Whatever the hell she was, she seemed to think that the fact that I was carrying this man’s child was the best news in the world. “Oh! Marriage was one thing, but a kid changes everything! It’ll humanize you, Julian, make you seem like a real person! This story is going to be huge!”

  I stared at her in disbelief. How could any human being—I assumed that was what she was, anyway, despite all evidence to the contrary—possibly be this cruel? How could she be this… dense? Was she oblivious to the emotional realities of those around her, or did she fail to care? It was almost impossible to read her, even when she was smiling or laughing. It was like she just parodied expressions rather than feeling them herself…

  If I hadn’t been in such a state, I think I might have pitied her. Unfortunately, the only person I was capable of pitying right at that moment was myself.

  “Tessa, I don’t think—” Julian began, but I couldn’t stop myself from yelling over him.

  “Are you kidding me?!” My face was burning, fists clenched so tightly I was sure my cuticles were bleeding. “You think that this is a good thing? This is my life!”

  “Well it’s not just yours anymore, sweetheart,” Tessa said, smiling as she started to make a call on her phone again. “I need to get the word out. We need updates to your website and some pictures for twitter. You both need to get out that front door right now and let everybody know. Those reports will go crazy!”

  “Don’t you dare!” I lunged for Tessa’s phone, sending it clattering to the hardwood floor. “This doesn’t leave the room! It’s bad enough that my doctor knows—oh, God.” I looked at en, wide-eyed. “What if someone in his office talks?”

  “Do you know how much that bloody phone cost?” Tessa hissed, glaring at me over her horn-rimmed glasses. “Just because your hormones are on the fritz doesn’t mean you can just…”

  “Tessa!” Julian said, cutting her off before she could even dare to finish that threat. “Can’t you cool it with all of this publicity nonsense for just a moment?”

  “I’m just doing my job, Julian,” she shot back, narrowing her eyes at him. “The job that you hired me for! The job that’s turned you into a star, or at least made the effort to! I’ve gotten you this far. I’m the reason you’re not completely destitute and forgotten. If I were you, I’d shut my flailing gob!”

  I glanced between the two of them, expecting to see a fight like that like from an old married couple rather than a manager and their client. The way she glared at him reminded me of a mother at her wits’ end, or one of those narcissists who demanded perfection from her child so that she could look good. Either way, this Tessa person looked completely insane, yelling at a grown-ass man.

  And I was in no mood to be a party to it. I’d just received the most devastating news of my entire life. Everything I’d worked so hard for was spiraling down the drain, and all these two idiots could be bothered to think about was how to use it to line their pockets.

  “The two of you need to get out of my house,” I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Because if I hear another word about how good this dumpster fire of a situation is for your image, I am going to straight-up murder both of you!”

  Tessa snorted. “You really don’t know what’s best for you, do you, sweetheart? You can’t just toss us out of here. What will the press say?”

  “Tell me one more time what my friend can and can’t do in her own house,” Jen said, suddenly at my side again. I grabbed her arm, partly to hold her back and partly to steady myself. I wasn’t just shaking with fear anymore. I was shaking with rage.

  “Tessa,” Julian said, his tone wary as all three women in the room raised their hackles. He could see his manager was outnumbered, but wasn’t rushing to her aid. “Maybe we should just go…”

  “We’re doing this, love,” she snapped, and for a moment, I actually felt bad for that bastard. Maybe it was because it seemed like he was at least partially on my side in all this. The way he and Tessa interacted, I got the impression this arrangement hadn’t exactly been his idea.

  Julian’s cheeks colored a bit. The muscle in his cheek twitched, and I could tell he was grinding his teeth. A hot anger flared in his burnt jade eyes and I found myself staring in something close to awe. Everything I’d seen from him so far—everything I could remember, anyway—had indicated he was the kind of guy who didn’t let things get to him, even when they should. He’d struck me as the high school quarterback who’d never grown up—who’d always had everything handed to them on a silver platter and couldn’t begin to appreciate what it meant to have to fight for something.

  But looking at him now, I could see that wasn’t entirely the case. The way he held himself now, the sheer transformation that took place… it held me transfixed. Julian was standing taller, straighter, and in a voice that shook me to my core—still sweet and dulcet, but rumbling from his chest like the call of a freight train—he took command of Tessa and the room.

  “Let’s go, Tessa. The bloody cops are right outside,” he warned her, motioning to the window. “And besides, you’ve already cocked this up. I think you’ve done enough damage for one day, don’t you, love?”

  That word left his lips like a poisoned dagger just dripping with venom. I could see the shock register in Tessa’s eyes and I wondered if he’d ever spoken to her this way before, or if this was a new development for her. Julian looked cool as a cucumber, but the flash of indignation that crossed her face made me think she wasn’t accustomed to being talked to this way. He’d just force-fed her a dose of her own medicine, and she wasn’t happy about it. Not in the slightest.

  I glanced out the window he’d gestured to. I’d been so wrapped up in the phone call from my doctor and the disaster takin
g place in my living room that I hadn’t noticed the blue and red flashing lights. They had a bit of competition from the photographers still wildly snapping photos, but it was clear they were finally trying to get the crowds to disperse. I let out a breath of relief. One of my neighbors must have finally made the call. The cops sure had taken their sweet time, but for once, I was glad that my neighbors were the nosy types.

  Tessa scowled. She opened her mouth to say something to Julian, but when he didn’t buckle under her stare, she turned on Jen. She found no quarter there, either. And by the time she got to me, there wasn’t much fire left in her.

  “Fine,” she snipped, bending down and picking up her cell phone before looking me straight in the eye. “But this is not the last you’ve seen of us, Mrs. Bastille. You’re going to be hearing from our lawyers about that baby and about this marriage. And if I had to wager a guess…” she surveyed my home with amused disdain. “…I’d say your resources are a bit more limited than ours, when it comes to the exorbitant cost of a legal battle.”

  She smiled at me so very sweetly. I wanted to slap it right off her face. Then she turned on her five-inch heels and made for the door, throwing it open to allow all the reporters outside unfettered visual access to my home. Julian rushed to block it with his broad frame as I covered my face with my hands and let Jen wrap me in the protective circlet of her arms.

  “Elizabeth,” he began. I looked up, saw the hurt in his eyes. There was this simultaneous sharpness and softness to his gaze. It seemed like he’d sobered up, and with that, he became capable of real, grown-up feelings. “Look, I know this didn’t go well. I know it’s not what you wanted. I know I’ve been a right cock about it all up until now. But if you’d just give me a chance, maybe… maybe I could fix things.” He swallowed hard. “Maybe we could—”

  “It’s time for you to go,” I said, resolute.

  “Right,” he said half-heartedly, glancing between me and Jen. “Anyway, I’m sorry. For everything. All of it.” A self-deprecating chuckle. “That’s what rock stars do though, innit, love? We blow in like a hurricane and upend everybody’s lives.” His expression darkened, and his voice was bereft of all life when he added, “And then we move on.”