“Mt. Rainier is a lovely place.” Adam stood by her side, looking out with her to the mountain. “I have a telescope we can use to see the northern climbing routes, but I’m afraid we can’t really see the climbers themselves.”
“That’s too bad.” She barely turned to respond, absorbed in the snowy grandeur.
“Do you hike?” Adam’s voice startled her.
“No,” she said abruptly, turning away from the view. They’d never really had the time.
“That’s too bad.” He turned a puzzled look toward her. “It’s hard to believe you grew up so close to Seattle and never hiked or sailed.”
“A disadvantaged childhood,” she said flippantly, flashing him a brilliant smile.
“Well, I’d love to go hiking with you. He smiled back. “And you appear,” he placed a hand around her lower back, drawing her closer, “to be in great shape.”
She hesitated, then leaned into him. Romance was what she had come here for, wasn’t it? Romance and being held closely by Adam.
Touching the back of her neck, he pressed lightly, moving her head closer to his. She sighed, feeling her heart tremble in response. Adam gave her a warm, thorough kiss, but then loosened his hold and slipped his arm out from around her shoulder. She felt oddly bereft and had to make an effort to steady herself.
“Do you want to look around?” he suggested, then added with a teasing laugh. “I can show you all the decorator touches that a home is supposed to have.”
“That’s right.” She squared her shoulders in memory of his earlier rudeness. “You were downright insulting about my place, as I recall. It’s time you showed me yours. I’ll be sure to tell you if it measures up.”
Micki walked slowly with Adam through his living room. Unlike her own barren apartment, Adam’s place was filled to overflowing with personal items that hinted at his broad background.
Adam pointed out several family photographs on the wall. “That’s my oldest brother’s family. And those are my parents, before the divorce, obviously.”
She glanced at them, immediately seeing the strong family resemblance among the men, but closer reflection showed the dissimilarities. His father’s and brothers’ faces reflected a harder glint than Adam’s, suggesting a more ruthless attitude. They were exactly her idea of what formidable businessmen should look like. Beside them, Adam looked like a charming and handsome, easygoing rake.
Don’t underestimate him, she warned herself. He must have earned his reputation.
“Those are nice portraits,” she said awkwardly. “You must be pleased to call them family.”
He laughed at her careful wording. “Don’t let them scare you. I, of course, inherited all the good looks in my family.”
A sudden thought struck her and she turned to verify it. “You don’t have any worry lines, do you? That’s the big difference between your family and yourself. Don’t you ever worry?”
“What’s there to worry about?” He shrugged, dismissing the thought. “I make my own hours at a job I really like.” He added suggestively, “and I’m standing in my own living room with the most beautiful woman in the world.”
She refused to be put off. “Are you so sure of what you do? Don’t you ever worry something will go wrong?”
“Never, Micki.” He was completely serious now, speaking with a hard, determined voice. In spite of herself, she shivered. “When I find what I want, I go after it. And then I get it. There’s really no cause for me to worry.”
“And what do you want now?”
“Aside from you here with me tonight? I have to admit that I’m still deciding.”
She turned away, lightly touching some jewelry laid out on an end table. “What are these?”
He slowly turned his gaze to follow hers and focused on the ornaments. “Jade pendants. They’re supposed to bring good luck. I got those in San Francisco when I lived there for six months. And those,” he nodded at some stone figurines set up in a different table, “are artifacts I purchased in Indonesia.” Some of his good humor reasserted itself and he added, “The man I bought them from told me they depict ancient gods and were carved over two hundred years ago, but from the way they chip, I suspect he makes them by the truckload in his backyard.”
“Why do you save them?”
“It’s a reminder of where I’ve been. Of who I am.” He turned to face her. “You, of course, need the same in your own living room.”
She willfully misunderstood him. “I’ve never been to San Francisco. Or to Indonesia.”
“You need souvenirs of places you’ve been to,” he explained patiently. “Not of places I’ve been to.”
“Yes sir.” She agreed with him mockingly. “I’ll run out and buy some special souvenirs tomorrow.”
“They’re not something you buy special.” Adam was so perfectly earnest, it almost made her want to giggle. “These are the items you chose to keep because they remind you of your life. Of important moments and pleasant times.”
“What if I don’t want to be reminded?”
“Why not, Micki?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” She picked up another display item and examined it. “I just like to keep moving. I don’t have time for memories.”
His voice was soft. “Was it that bad an affair?”
He had found her weak spot and she turned to keep her tears from showing. Thankfully, he stepped back, accepting her need for privacy. “Whenever you want to talk about it just let me know. In the meantime, I’ll see about getting some food from the kitchen.”
“Can I help?”
He smiled. “Reheating pre-made food is a culinary specialty of mine. But.” He pointed at his music collection. “Perhaps you’d like to find some romantic tunes to eat by?”
Browsing through the music, she found herself bypassing those with obviously slow melodies and picking, instead, a fast jazz number. Perfect. She settled back on the lush sofa, sinking into the soft, textured fabric. The material folded itself around her. It was a wonderfully comfortable sofa. A sofa for making love on, that’s what it was. She sat up stiffly and moved to the matching chair. Oh why can’t I decide what I want?
Adam came back with an array of dishes. “It’s gourmet food, but definitely leftovers. I reheated it and I think it’ll be okay.” Off-loading the tray onto a coffee table, he sat on the sofa, looking at her expectantly.
“It smells delicious.” Micki was suddenly ravenous. She piled food onto her plate and leaned back to enjoy it. He watched her with amusement.
“I really like you, Micki. I like the way you dive into what you’re doing. You’re like a runaway train, you know? Unstoppable.”
She paused, with her fork in midair. “Is that good?”
“It’s exciting. I never know what to expect from you from one minute to the next.” The notes of the music she had selected finally seemed to sink into his consciousness. “Although your choice in music isn’t exactly what I had in mind.” His tone was dry.
“Don’t you like jazz?” she asked innocently.
“Oh, I do like it. This piece suits you, actually. Moving so fast. Here and there. It’s quick. And interesting.”
She blushed at his description.
“And unpredictable. Even now, I can’t tell if you’re going to let me seduce you, or eat your dinner and run away.”
Neither can I, she agreed miserably. Out loud she answered, “Then we’ll have to wait and see what the evening brings, won’t we?”
“Yes, we will. But you’re so far away.” He patted the cushion next to him invitingly. “Come sit over here by me. There’s plenty of room. How can I be expected to sway the odds when I can’t even touch you?”
A suffocating flash of shyness overwhelmed her. Shaking her head, she grabbed another fork of food.
He reached out unexpectedly and took her plate, settling it with a deliberate motion on the table in front of him. “Come sit with me Micki,” he commanded.
What on earth am I doing alone with this man? She got up
slowly, giving him a doubtful look. “Do you bite?” She moved to sit on one far side of the sofa and he moved to join her, his body pushing up to hers so she could feel the entire length of his leg.
“Of course I bite,” he agreed. The low timbre of his voice sent a thrill of pleasure through her. He eyed her slender neck suggestively. “Anywhere in particular you had in mind?”
“Tell me more about your work,” she suggested, quickly reaching for another morsel of food. Using the fork as a shield, she turned to face him. “It sounds fascinating.”
“Of course,” he consented, but the low, suggestive tone never left his voice. “In fact, let me demonstrate. I’m in acquisitions.” He reached out and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “And mergers.” Leaning forward he pulled her closer and kissed her squarely on her mouth. He looked into her eyes, with laughter. “Did you get all of that? Shall I demonstrate again?”
She couldn’t speak, looking up at him with fear and wonder. He reached out to touch a wisp of her hair. “Does your hair naturally glisten like it’s on fire? It’s so vibrant and beautiful. It gleams whenever you turn your head.” His breath was raising goose bumps on her neck and she could feel the fine hair on her nape moving in response.
“That’s fine,” she finally managed to say, “but I’d like to finish eating first, if you don’t mind.” Her heart was pounding so hard, she had a sudden fear the dishes on the table would pick up the beat and start rattling in rhythm.
Adam freed her shoulder, but didn’t move the rest of his body. “If you insist. But at least you can let me help.” He gently picked up a cracker with shrimp pâte on it. “Would you like this?” he teased, floating it into her mouth, then following the morsel with a generous kiss of his own. “Mmmm. That’s delicious. I’ll have to stock up on these.”
She could feel him all around her. Could feel his thigh pressing against hers. Could feel the warmth of his skin, where it brushed her cheek. It was as if every inch of her body was suddenly and gloriously alive. All she had to do was to lean back and let him press his body against hers. To let his kisses carry her away to a land where dreams came true. Her heart beat violently at the thought. But dreams don’t come true, do they?
She pushed herself forward stiffly. “I can feed myself, thank you. I really am starving.”
“Okay,” he said grudgingly. “I suppose I can give you time to eat. But then,” he leaned back against her, “it’ll be my turn.”
Oh, God. How am I going to handle this? She took a bite of something yellow and stuffed it into her mouth without tasting it, turning to flash a close-mouthed smile at him as she did. I’m in so far over my head it isn’t funny. Playing a game, indeed. Playing a game with a master of seduction. What a fool! And as he placed a hand gently on her knee, she added, What a lucky fool!
“Let’s go look at the view,” she said abruptly.
He gestured toward the window with his free arm. “See?” He turned back to her. “I must say I prefer the view from right here on the couch.”
“From the deck.” She pushed him away and stood up on shaky legs. “Let’s go look at the view from the deck.”
He stayed on the sofa for a long moment, staring at her. “Darling, Micki. Is something wrong?”
“Why? Should there be?” She stood stiffly, trying to keep her body from trembling with the cold that was engulfing her. She missed Adam’s warmth already.
“What’s the matter?” he insisted. He stood up beside her. “Did I read you wrong? Aren’t you interested in me?” She was miserably silent and he added softly, “Would you like me to drive you home?”
To be all alone tonight in my apartment? When I could stay with Adam? “No!” she cried out.
“Then what is it? Why are you acting like this?” He gave a rueful grin. “You’re making me feel unloved.”
What should I do? God give me strength. She took a deep gulp of air, then turned to face him. It was now or never. “Well, we can’t have that, can we?” She moved toward him and he reached to pull her closer still. She could feel his hard chest, the strong arms, the tightly muscled thighs. She moved her hands up and down his back and could feel his male response stirring to her movements. She placed her hands on either side of his hips and drew herself toward him, her body pressing and moving against his hard arousal. His breathing was harsh and insistent as he pulled her blouse out and up, his long fingers caressing her smooth skin. He pulled her insistently back down to the sofa.
Panic set in. In another few minutes he’d know. In a few minutes, any fool could tell that she hadn’t had sex in years. Not since Danny. And before Danny there had been no one else.
His probing kisses drowned her thoughts out in a roar. Her heart was pumping so hard she wondered he didn’t remark on it.
“You are the most wonderfully, marvelous woman to ever enter my life,” he whispered.
“Oh!” She gasped. The words made her lightheaded and the need to feel him, to taste him, pushed away her panic. Giving in to temptation, she reached a hand up and caressed the soft, light hairs running down the side of his neck. A little higher and she was tracing his lips. He opened his mouth and grasped her finger between his teeth, moving his tongue around it. He brushed his face past her hand and danced butterfly-light kisses against her neck. She smiled in pleasure. “Adam,” she breathed.
“Micki.” His breathing was harsh, but his voice was filled with warmth. “I wish I’d met you years ago.” His hands were stroking along her side, under her blouse. “Think of the years we’ve wasted when it should have been only the two of us, making love forever.”
Love. Forever. The words struck her as if they were a physical force, echoing deep from inside her head. She could feel the answering roar from within. She couldn’t go through with this. She couldn’t make love with another man. Not when Danny still stood in her way. Danny and their cabin. The dream that would never leave her in peace.
She twisted in Adam’s arms and pulled away from him. “Don’t!”
Adam dropped his hands immediately. “What’s wrong, Micki?” He stared at her in confusion. “Are you having second thoughts about us?”
She grimaced through her misery and whispered, “I guess so.”
Adam had an expression of complete surprise on his face, as he reached toward her. He was saying something, but she couldn’t hear him. She was seeing him from a long way away, as if she were looking at him through a telescope backwards, so his face was curved and distant. She could see his lips moving, but couldn’t make out the words. What was he saying? Making plans for the rest of the evening? Making plans for them to be together? Panic welled up inside her.
Why did it have to be like this? Why couldn’t she ever be free from her guilt?
Chapter Six
The teapot warbled a low, mournful serenade. Adam stared at it for a long moment before collecting himself and taking it off the burner. This is an absolutely impossible situation. He brought a wooden tray over to the counter and stopped again to stare into space. What he really wanted to do was barge out to the living room and demand to know what had happened. What had scared Micki and made her so afraid of relationships? He had to force himself to stay in the kitchen and give her some time on her own.
Micki had some serious issues from her past. That was overwhelmingly obvious. Almost undoubtedly, she’d been hurt at the hands of an ex-boyfriend. He could kick himself for not seeing just how painful the experience had been for her. If only he had taken the time and gone slowly. But she had seemed to be as eager for the evening as he was.
Adam rubbed the side of his temple. Damn it! His words to Micki, earlier in the evening, rang in his head. When I see what I want I go after it. And then I get it. He shook his head. He’d seen Micki. He’d gone after her. And now he’d scared her away.
Well, it’s not going to be like that. You’re not going to run from me. Adam glanced at the open door to the living room. I still want you, Micki Vaughn. I want you to trust me. To tell me w
hat’s wrong. God help him, he might even want her to love him.
He pulled the box of Earl Grey down and measured some out into the bottom of the pot. He didn’t want to lose her before they had a chance to explore the possibilities of being together, to see where romance might lead them. Her adventurous spirit, her laughter, her entire approach to life, fascinated him. She was like an ever-changing prism, showering her bright colors on everyone around her.
He swore again. When he found the ex-boyfriend who’d left Micki in such turmoil, he’d make sure the bastard never bothered her again.
In the meantime… He stacked two cups on the tray alongside the teapot. In the meantime he had a very beautiful woman sitting in his living room in need of some hot tea and a large helping of sympathy.
* * * * *
Micki huddled unhappily on the sofa, listening to Adam clattering in the kitchen. Well, you’ve really done it this time, Magoo. She laughed, without humor. And you actually thought you could get away with it, didn’t you? Sleep with a man as intensely sexy and compelling as Adam? Well, guess again. You’ve got to face what you did to Danny, first.
A painful knot of guilt grew deep in the pit of her stomach. Danny, please let me go. I’m sorry for what happened. So very, very sorry. Heavy tears of grief rolled down her cheeks.
The noise in the kitchen stopped and Micki struggled to compose herself, wiping her tears on her sleeves. Adam was entering the living room. She could hear the soft tread of his feet on the thick, plush carpet. He stopped near the sofa, right behind her. Micki stiffened, fully conscious of what an unbelievable fiasco she’d made of the evening and not just for herself, but for Adam as well. He’d invited her into his home fully expecting to have a night of romantic passion and she’d acted like a complete juvenile. Adam had every right to laugh at her. Or be furiously angry. She sat still and waited for what he had to say.
Adam stood quietly for a short while, then walked around to set the tea on the coffee table. She couldn’t meet his gaze, but she felt the sofa shift down as he sat beside her and then he gathered her up in his arms. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he murmured. “I’m so very sorry.”
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