Amplified

by Tara Kelly

My arms were shaking when I pulled my guitar out of its case, but not from nervousness this time. Veta had convinced me that I needed a yoga session with her and Tina after work. It’ll help loosen you up, she’d claimed. The Downward-Facing Dog position kicked my butt; who knew holding your body up on all fours was so hard?

  Sean stood in front of me, his green bass slung low on his hips. “Everything okay?” he asked.

  “Yeah, why?” I dialed in a heavier sound on my Diezel. Sean had brought over my equipment earlier in the day. Nice of him, I guess.

  “You’re shaking.”

  “Veta bought me a double mocha, and I ended up finishing the rest of hers too.” At least that much was true. I didn’t want to admit how out of shape I was.

  “Bit of an addict?”

  I walked right into that one. “No.”

  He leaned in, giving me a musky whiff of soap and auto shop. “Your gasket will be here tomorrow, so your car should be ready by Wednesday.”

  How nice of them to be so expedient. “About that—”

  “What are you two whispering about?” Veta asked. She was on the floor, scribbling down some last-minute lyrics.

  Sean said, “Nothing important,” and he moved to the other side of the room. I exhaled with relief. Now wasn’t the time to talk anyway. Not in front of everyone.

  “Are we adding ‘Acceleration’ to the set list?” Bryn asked Veta.

  “I don’t know yet. These lyrics are still really corny,” she said.

  “Why don’t we just play it?” Sean asked. “Might sound less cheesy off paper.”

  “I keep coming up with really cool lines that don’t go with the rhythm.”

  “It’s always like that,” Felix said. “Why do you think so many songs involve four-letter words?”

  Veta laughed and stood up, taking her place at the mic. Bryn got behind the drums and started counting off. My heart thudded a little harder—I hoped wouldn’t disappoint anyone.

  The song began with Sean’s fast and dirty bass line and a hard-nosed beat from Bryn. Veta joined them with a two-chord riff that made me feel like I was drag racing in the middle of a desert.

  She grabbed the mic and belted out the lyrics in a throaty voice. “High thrust, low rev. Slick roads, back woods. Take me anywhere. My traction adapts.”

  I closed my eyes and felt a smooth gearshift in my hand. The engine growled with every jerking movement as I headed west on some dusty road. A gigantic sun dove behind jagged mountains.

  I stomped on the delay effect, hearing an epileptic melody over the top of the song—high notes in irregular but quick succession.

  “Tight curves, raw moves. Rough you up, bend the rules. I never play nice, ’cause I made up the game,” Veta sang on. Her lyrics would sound ridiculous from anyone else’s lips. But Veta had a voice that demanded attention, nearly pitch-perfect and raw in all the right places. Each word was like a sliver of broken glass, slight and cutting at the same time.

  I picked my notes faster, trying to keep up with the volatile energy of the song.

  And then Sean stopped playing. “Jasmine! What’s with the Morse code?”

  Our eyes met, but I looked away.

  Bryn backed off the drums and the growl of Veta’s riff ceased, leaving Felix’s drum loop. He quickly shut it off. Sean really knew how to kill a mood.

  “I know it’s a little busy, but I think it works,” I said.

  “Not really,” he said. “It’s clashing with Felix’s pad.”

  “His pad is a texture. It’s not meant to be at the forefront. Am I right, Felix?”

  Felix kept his eyes glued to his laptop, biting his lower lip. “Well, yeah…”

  “Crank the distortion.” Bryn looked at me as if he expected gratitude for the insight.

  But I had my own ideas.

  Bryn counted off, and we began again. I picked the notes slower, letting each ring out and bleed into the next. It sounded decent but lacked spunk.

  Halfway through the chorus, Bryn stopped drumming. “Hold up.” He yanked a rubber band around his dreadlocks and wiped a gleam of sweat from his forehead.

  “It’s still not working for me, Jasmine,” Sean said. “The tone is too bright.”

  “Yeah, it’s piercing as hell,” Bryn added.

  Veta rolled her eyes at me. “I thought it sounded better this time.”

  I gave her a thankful smile. “I can turn the volume down.”

  “Which will only make it softer.” Bryn stuck a drumstick behind his ear. “It doesn’t change the fact that it belongs in a New Age infomercial.”

  I felt my shoulders tense. What if I couldn’t figure out something they liked?

  Felix glanced over at me, his dark eyes filled with pity. “It wasn’t that bad. Bryn’s just on his period.”

  “No, I’m honest.” Bryn flashed him a toothy grin. “You should be too.”

  Felix made a dismissing motion with his hand.

  “I’ll play with it a little more.” I turned away, inwardly cringing at the quiver in my voice.

  “Screw that,” Bryn said. “Give us some teeth. Dirty it up. Do you guys remember the riff Teddy did for the intro? That was tight.”

  The humid air clung to my cheeks and fueled the anger building inside my chest.

  “I like the cleaner sound,” Sean said. The gentleness in his voice surprised me. I figured he’d be enjoying Bryn’s reaming.

  “I’ll figure something out.” My foot shook as I scrolled through my patches. Nothing fit.

  “We don’t have all year, Jasmine,” Bryn said.

  I stopped and faced him. “I’d be a lot faster if you’d back off.” The words tumbled out despite how bad they sounded.

  “Chill, babe,” Veta said under her breath.

  Bryn sat back on the stool, folding his bulky arms across his chest. “If you sound like shit, I’m gonna tell you. Better me than an entire audience booing you off the stage.”

  “You could try a little tact and patience,” I said.

  He shook his head, a smile brewing on his face. “That’s not how I operate. If you need buttering up, go cuddle with Felix after practice.”

  A hushed laugh came from Veta’s direction, and Felix grinned despite his ears turning red. Sean smirked.

  “I made a funny, Jasmine,” Bryn continued. “Lighten up.”

  I forced a quick smile, trying to regain my cool. Jason always told me I was too sensitive, that half the time I defended myself against nothing.

  “I’ll try something with the EBow,” I said. “Maybe you guys will like it better.”

  “At least you’re willing to try other things,” Felix said. “Teddy refused to change anything.”

  Sean clenched his jaw and turned away from the rest of us. “Count it off, Bryn.”

  The third attempt went smoother. Sean put more aggression behind the bass line, Felix added in a synth that sounded almost like an engine revving, and Veta sang her words with even more edge. The flutelike notes of the EBow rang over the top, mingling with Felix’s pads to create a dreamy atmosphere behind the dark vocal melody. As much as I hated to admit it, the new guitar part worked better.

  Apparently Bryn and Sean thought so too, because we finished the entire song.

  Bryn roared, throwing his arms over his head. “That didn’t suck. Thank you, God.” He grinned. “And Jasmine.”

  Sean gave me a small nod. I guess that meant he approved.

  The next song went pretty well. It called for a catchy, distorted riff—which Bryn liked right off the bat. I just hoped I could remember what I came up with; playing by the seat of my pants wasn’t without its drawbacks. I’d lost count of how many melodies got away.

  After we finished the second chorus of the last song, Veta collapsed on the floor and dumped the rest of her water bottle over her head. “Okay, I’m done for the week.”

  My body felt like a vibrating bell. Playing guitar always got my adrenaline going, but jamming in a band gave me a buzz like nothing I�
��d felt before.

  Bryn tore his shirt off and took an exaggerated whiff of his armpit. “Whew, I reek.”

  “Thanks for letting us know,” Sean said, lifting his bass strap off his shoulders. His cheeks were flushed, and his hair jutted in various directions.

  He caught my eye, and I pretended to be studying the wall behind him. Peeling green paint was fascinating.

  “I’m going to make some ramen,” Felix said. “Anyone want some?”

  Everyone grumbled, but I practically jumped. “Me!” My stomach ached for nourishment.

  Veta shot me a baffled look.

  Hey, it was free food and I’d never had it before. My dad always kept us on a strict diet.

  “I’m gonna hit the shower,” Bryn said.

  Felix followed Bryn out the door, and Sean attempted to pull Veta up. I carried my guitar over to the rack on the wall. Having a place to hang it made me feel good. I just hoped I’d fit in as well as my guitar did.

  I attempted to watch an anime movie with Felix while we slurped salty noodles. A chick with gigantic eyeballs ran around fighting bad guys. Her boobs were about to burst out of her warrior outfit. Felix would go back and forth between a big smile and biting his lower lip. Sometimes he’d tap my shoulder and tell me that I just had to see this part.

  Veta, Bryn, and Sean were upstairs shooting pool. Every now and then, Bryn hooted or Veta yelled, “Cheater!”

  I checked my cell, frowning at the blank screen. No calls from Dad. He sounded so casual on the phone last night. Almost relieved.

  The doorbell rang as I shoved the phone back into my pocket.

  “Can you get that?” Felix asked, his eyes glued to the TV. “It’s probably one of Bryn’s special friends.”

  “Uh, sure.” I got up slowly. It felt weird to be answering someone else’s door.

  My hand froze before I turned the brass lock. What would I say to this poor girl? “I’ll probably never see you here again, but nice to meet you anyway”?

  I ignored my thoughts and opened the door. A girl with a mess of dark hair stood on the porch, sizing me up. She had a striking resemblance to Clara Bow—if I ignored the tattoo sleeves, multiple facial piercings, and purple streaks through her hair. Definitely not a Mercedes-driving blonde.

  “Who are you?” she asked. The voice fit her, bold and slightly raspy.

  “Jasmine—I’m their new roommate.”

  Her brown eyes widened. “So you’re the new Teddy, huh? That’s interesting.”

  “Why?”

  “The guys were pretty adamant about chicks not living here. Believe me, I tried.” She looked at me expectantly. “You gonna let me in or what?”

  Veta pushed herself in front of me. “What do you want, Amy?”

  Her expression hardened. “I need to talk to Sean.”

  So this was Sean’s ex. Not what I expected, but it made sense.

  “Get the hell out of here,” Veta said, keeping her voice low.

  Amy rolled her eyes. “You’re terrifying, Veta. Really.”

  I felt a warm hand on my back and realized it was Sean trying to get in front of me. I moved aside, and he nudged himself around Veta. “Let’s talk outside,” he told Amy.

  Veta grabbed the sleeve of his T-shirt before he could squeeze himself out the door. “Don’t fall for it.”

  He shrugged her off and followed Amy out into the yard. Veta slammed the door behind them.

  “Calm down, babe,” Felix said from the couch. “Maybe she wants to apologize.”

  Veta shook her head at him, a seething glint in her eyes. “Amy doesn’t apologize.” She grabbed my hand, dragging me into the kitchen.

  “I guess you’re still pretty pissed at her?” I asked.

  Veta leaned against the island. “I know how Amy plays. It’s why I didn’t want Sean dating her in the first place. And did he listen? No.” She crinkled her nose in disgust. “If she had any heart at all, she’d leave him alone. Let him move on.”

  “Maybe she wants him back.”

  “Of course—until she gets bored again.” Veta looked at the ceiling. “She promised me she wouldn’t pull this with him.”

  I shoved my hands into my pockets and moved next to her. “Sean doesn’t seem naive. He’ll probably see through her crap.”

  Veta met my gaze, her eyes weary. “They were together for over a year—he was crazy about her. And he’d crushed on her for years before that.”

  A year seemed like an eternity to me; the longest relationship I’d had was about a week. Then again, making out in Eric Lamberti’s stuffy Volvo during lunch break wasn’t really a relationship. The guy liked onion rings and cigarettes—not exactly conducive to fresh-smelling breath.

  Veta moved away from the island, a sadistic half smile breaking across her face. “I just had a really fun thought.”

  “Uh-oh.” Somehow I knew this wouldn’t be good.

  She opened the fridge door and got out a carton of eggs. Then a tomato. Some wilted lettuce. A six-pack of beer.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Making a little smoothie.” She winked.

  “I highly doubt she’ll drink that.”

  “Oh, I’m not planning on having her drink it.” She dumped the lettuce and tomato into the blender. “Hey, Felix!”

  “Yeah?” he called from the living room.

  “Where’s that fresh garlic you got the other day?”

  There were a few seconds of silence followed by a very slow “Why?”

  “I’ve got the munchies.” She put her hand over her mouth, trying to cover a laugh.

  Felix’s heavy footsteps were his reply. “Veta…” He squinted at her as he made his way into the kitchen.

  “What?” She gave him puppy dog eyes. “I’m starving.”

  Felix ran his hand through his fuzzy blue hair, eyeing the muck in the blender. “I’m not going to be part of this.”

  Veta used the edge of the counter to remove one of the beer caps. “Just give me the garlic.”

  “No way. Amy will kick my ass—that chick is scary.”

  “You’re three times her size.”

  He frowned. “So?”

  “Pussy,” she muttered, pushing the GRIND button on the blender.

  Felix rolled his heavily lined eyes at me. “Ask her what music she wants at her funeral.” He padded back to the living room.

  Veta waved me over. “Go up to your balcony and tell me where they are.”

  I really didn’t want to be a part of this either, whatever it was. It would be childish and not my style. But I had my own curiosity about what was going on outside.

  I ran upstairs to my room. Bryn’s music and the clanging of weights sounded through the wall. Night vision wasn’t one of my strong points—good thing there wasn’t much to trip over. The balcony door made a creaking noise as I slid it back, but the hiss of the ocean probably covered it up. Or so I hoped.

  I hunched over at the sound of Sean’s voice and took slow steps toward the edge of the balcony. Then I squatted down, peering through the gap between the railing and the wall. Two shadowy figures stood inches apart in the yard below.

  Sean moved away, turning his head toward the ocean. He mumbled something I couldn’t hear.

  “I know,” Amy said. “But I told you—it’s over.”

  “You just started a band together.”

  She exhaled. “He’s the only good drummer I know, outside of Bryn.”

  “Good luck with that Dave guy, by the way. He’s a real prize.”

  Amy tilted her head back. “So you were the other band. Dave said he turned someone down, but he wouldn’t give us a name.”

  Sean let out a low chuckle. “And you believed him?”

  “He’s really good, even better than Teddy.” Her voice sharpened. “What—are you saying you guys chose that little girl over him?”

  My back stiffened at her comment. What was she—a year older than me, two at most?

  “Yes. And she’s my age.”


  “Oh yeah?” She pinched his arm. “Do you think she’s cute?”

  My breath caught in my throat.

  “She’s not my type.”

  A sagging feeling tugged at my chest, which irritated me. It wasn’t like his words were a shock.

  “You should probably know,” Amy said. “We’re playing before you guys at the Roach on Saturday.”

  “What?” Sean’s voice went up a couple of notches.

  “They were looking for a similar band to fill the slot, and they dug our demo.”

  “When the hell did you have time to put together a demo?”

  She was silent for a few seconds. “I had a few songs worked out already—me and Teddy recorded them last week.”

  “The ones I helped you write?”

  “You helped me work out a couple of bass lines, Sean.”

  “Fine, whatever.”

  “Pssst.”

  I jumped at the sound of the hiss behind me. Veta was crouched over, holding the blender. “You little spy. You were supposed to—”

  I mouthed the words “shut up” and pointed down at Sean and Amy. She crept next to me and looked through the gap.

  A big grin crossed her face when her eyes found Amy. “Perfect,” she whispered. “She just needs to move a little closer.”

  I whispered, “Please don’t tell me you’re going to dump that on her head.”

  Her eyes had a devilish glint. “Maybe.”

  “Don’t. Not from my balcony. Please.”

  She put her finger to her lips.

  “Veta, seriously. This is stupid.”

  “Shh. I can’t hear.”

  I peeked over again, tuning back into their conversation.

  “I miss you,” Amy said, moving closer.

  Sean looked at his feet and said something I couldn’t make out. Amy pressed into him, touching his cheek.

  “Don’t do it, Sean,” Veta mumbled.

  I’d seen enough.

  I tried to stand up, but my legs had fallen asleep. They buckled, sending me right on my butt. A nice, loud thump.

  Veta cussed under her breath. She hopped up and dumped the contents of the blender. There was the unmistakable sound of liquid hitting skin, followed by several four-letter words screamed in close succession.

  It felt surreal, like I’d wake up any moment and laugh at the absurdity.