by Tara Kelly
“Don’t tempt me, sweetheart.”
I’d never been in a fight. But in that moment, I didn’t care. I just wanted a shot—any shot.
Voices echoed behind us. Veta headed our way with one of her regulars, a hippie college student named Sage. Sage gave Veta a hug and handed me a twenty before leaving.
Veta’s eyes locked on Amy, her smile fading. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to talk to you,” she answered.
“About?”
Amy’s eyes flicked from me to Veta. “Can we at least go upstairs or outside?”
“I’m working—in case you haven’t noticed.”
Amy shrugged. “This won’t take long.”
“Fine—outside.” Veta rolled her eyes at me before following Amy out.
I let out a breath, grateful that Veta interrupted us before things got ugly. I’d been tempted to slug obnoxious people before—who hasn’t? I just never came that close to actually doing it. There was something about Amy that inched under my skin and made me boil inside.
Zoe came barreling in from outside and went for the couch. She cracked a book open, her small mouth puckered and tense.
“Hey, Zoe—everything okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, fantastic,” she muttered, casting a weary eye toward the entrance.
The door jingled again and a trio of giggling kids sauntered in, two girls and a boy about Zoe’s age. The boy had jagged dark hair and a skateboard tucked under his tanned arm. He headed toward the counter while the two girls huddled together, giggling at Zoe. Zoe ducked her face behind her massive book. Poor girl. I wished I could tell her it got better.
“Hi,” the boy said to me. “Are you Jasmine?”
“Yeah—who are you?”
He pushed his shades on top of his head, revealing wide brown eyes. “I’m Nick. Bryn’s little brother.”
I glanced at the girls ogling him. I should’ve guessed. “Nice to meet you. Those your friends?”
He shrugged, wrinkling his nose. “That’s Stacy and Lindsey. They followed me in here.”
“We did not!” one of them called back.
“What can I do for you all?”
“I was trying to catch up to Zoe, but she ran in here first,” Nick said. He looked over his shoulder at her. “Hey, Zoe.”
A green eye peeked over the cover of the book, and a barely audible “hello” followed. Apparently Nick wasn’t put off by this, because he walked right over and sat next to her.
“She’s so weird,” one of the girls whispered.
“I know,” the other said.
“If you girls want a place to hang out, the Boardwalk is across the street,” I called over to them.
The redheaded girl sneered in my direction. “We know.”
Just then Veta breezed back in. “What is this—a slumber party?” She stopped in front of the redhead. “You buying something this time, Stacy?”
“I’m Lindsey,” she replied.
“Whatever. Leave,” Veta said.
The other girl pointed over at Zoe and Nick on the couch. “What about them?”
“She lives here. And he’s not standing around, blocking our entrance.” She made a waving motion toward the door. “Adiós!”
They rolled their eyes and trudged out of the shop, whispering to each other again. Veta looked at Nick and Zoe, a persnickety smile forming on her face. She walked behind the counter and leaned into my ear. “I should probably kick him out. But that is just too cute.”
Zoe was pointing at her book and explaining something to Nick, and he was listening intently—or at least doing a good job of seeming like he cared.
Veta propped her elbows on the counter, resting her face in her hands. “I’m so tired of drama.”
“Amy sure brings it, doesn’t she?”
She stood, sighing. “Maybe you should sit down for this.”
My stomach tightened. “Just spill it.”
“Okay, so Dave and Teddy’s friend Nate—” She rolled her eyes to the ceiling. “Nate’s this—”
“Jerk with a Mohawk. I saw him at the show.”
“Right. Apparently, they bashed C-Side on the Luna’s Temptation message board last night and posted a cell-phone video, starring you.”
Heat rushed into my face. “What?”
“During ‘Encryption,’ I guess. When you were having sound problems.”
“Oh my God.” I slumped against the counter. How much more of this bullshit did I want to take? “And Amy dropped by to rub it in?”
“She claimed that she and Teddy had nothing to do with it.”
“It was probably her idea. You should’ve heard the crap she said to me.” I went over the gist of our conversation, including Amy’s comment about her and Veta pounding fakers like me.
Veta tilted her head back and laughed. “Oh, please! That was a million years ago. Look, Amy has always been competitive, and you’re a threat—that’s all it is, babe.”
“How? She saw me play at my worst.”
She smirked. “Sean.”
I looked down at the hardwood floor, hiding my expression. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, come on, Jasmine. Even I noticed how cozy you and Sean were at the Roach, and I was pretty distracted.”
“We were just hanging out.”
“Well, Amy doesn’t know that.” She put her hands on my shoulders. “But you don’t need to be worrying about her right now. If Bryn saw their comments, he’s not going to be feeling generous tonight.”
I gritted my teeth. “Wonderful.”
I stopped in front of the studio door, hearing animated voices inside—mainly Bryn’s. The meeting had started a few minutes ago, but I kept finding reasons to linger in the main house. Needed to comb my hair. Got thirsty. Felt like a granola bar.
My cell phone went off. The sound echoed across the backyard and the voices stopped inside. Of all times for Jason to call me back.
“Where’ve you been?” I whispered.
“I’m so sorry! I left my cell on the beach—just found it.” He laughed. “It’s crunchy, but it still works.”
“Can’t talk right now. About to do damage control.”
“Good luck!”
“Thanks.” I snapped the phone shut. Now or never.
All eyes fell on me when I walked in. The band was in a circle on the floor. Veta on her stomach, feet swaying in the air. Felix sitting crossed-legged. Bryn with his legs spread out wide in front of him. And Sean against the wall, one knee tucked into his chest, the other stretched out. He gave me the kind of knowing smile you give someone you share a secret with.
“Hi,” I said, clasping my hands.
Veta scooted over and patted the space next to her. I could see the resistance in Bryn’s shoulders as I sat.
“Why are you here?” Bryn asked.
My heart sped up. I guess we’d be diving right in. “I want to stay—in the band.”
“That’s nice, but it’s not happening,” he answered.
“Bryn…” Sean said.
I tucked my knees to my chest, wishing they could shield me from Bryn’s glare. “I’m sorry for what I said after the show—about you being spoiled. I don’t know you or your family. I had no right to make assumptions.”
“I appreciate the apology, but it doesn’t change anything.”
“I’m not done,” I said. “I could’ve worded it better. But I do think you can be pretty harsh with the band.”
He shrugged. “I don’t get you. You don’t get me. But you know what? This is my house, my studio, and I started this band with Veta and Sean. That makes you shit outta luck.”
What the hell could I say to that?
“But we’re not your band,” Sean said, his voice almost too soft to hear.
“What’s your point?” Bryn asked.
Felix glanced between the two guys, biting his nails. I wondered if he’d ever experienced confrontation before joining the band.
Sean leaned forward, as if he was prepa
ring for something. “What Jasmine said about you treating us like employees was pretty dead-on.”
Bryn stabbed his drumstick into the floor. “This from the guy who makes C-Side his lowest priority. Who misses at least one practice a week because he’d rather study the sex life of fish.”
“It’s more complicated than that. But thanks for the astute summary.”
“You’re welcome, Jeeves.”
“We get that this is your house, Bryn,” Veta said. “Even if you didn’t remind us constantly. We get that you devote a lot more time than the rest of us.”
Bryn’s eyes bugged out. “I’m the only reason anyone knows who the fuck we are. I book the shows. I’m the one with the mastering studio hookups. I handle all the promotion now that Teddy’s gone—over a bunch of petty, high school b.s.”
“Petty?” Sean asked. “You haven’t been with a girl for more than five minutes. What would you know?”
“I’m smart enough to know better,” Bryn said. “Who the hell needs to settle down before they’re twenty? Twenty-five, even? Do yourself a favor and live a little.”
My fingers dug into the rough material of my jeans. “I didn’t mean to start this—I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.”
“You didn’t,” Felix said. “This was brewing before you got here.”
Bryn jabbed a finger at me. “She lies and makes us all look like asses, but I’m the one on trial. That’s pretty good.”
“Nobody is on trial,” Veta said. “Stop being so dramatic.”
Bryn put a hand to his chest. “Oh, I’m dramatic?”
“Yeah,” Veta continued. “You can dish it, but you can’t take it.”
“Oooh!” Bryn tilted his head back. “You are such a hyp—”
“You know what?” I hollered over them. “This isn’t solving anything—this is just a bunch of yelling.”
“And you’re adding to it,” Bryn said.
“Okay, what can I do?” I asked, meeting his stare. “If you want me to work on my stage presence all night, every night—I’ll do that. If you want help with promotion, I’ll do that too. I’ll clean the entire house from top to bottom.”
Bryn’s eyebrows rose. “You can’t even clean up after yourself, Jasmine. You left my cheese out all night. After you ate three-fourths of it.”
My mouth dropped. “What? Why would I touch your cheese? I hate sharp cheddar.”
“But someone here eats it like candy,” Sean said, nodding at Felix.
Felix’s ears turned red. “Um…”
“I asked you point blank, man,” Bryn said. “You told me you saw Jasmine eating it last night.”
Felix scrunched up his face, doing that shy thing he did so well. “Sorry, Jasmine. I only did it because I thought you were leaving and…”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s fine—whatever.”
“Awesome,” Bryn said. “I live in a house full of liars.”
“Gee, Bryn, I’d offer you some cheese with that whine, but apparently Felix ate it all. Can we move on now?” Veta asked.
Bryn folded his arms tight across his chest. “Fine.”
Veta rubbed her temples. “The Luna’s Temptation show is in less than two weeks. And if you didn’t notice last time, pickings for industrial rock guitarists are pretty slim.”
“Give me a break,” Bryn said. “Everyone and their brother plays guitar, okay? We just need to find someone decent who kills it onstage and nails it in the studio. How hard is that?”
I hugged my knees tighter, wanting to break in. Wanting to tell Bryn that I was decent.
“Maybe that’s all you’re looking for. I want more than that,” Veta said.
“I know this guy—Eli—kickass metal guitarist,” Bryn said. “I mean, this guy kills. His band just broke up, and I know he’s looking. He might be into it.”
“Oh, sure,” Veta said. “Until the next hot metal band picks him up.”
I waved. “Hello? I’m still here. And I am a decent guitarist. I can work on the stage thing.”
“There are too many cons with you, Jasmine,” Bryn said. “For one thing? I don’t want a guitarist I have to babysit at parties.”
He just had to remind me of that, didn’t he? “That will never happen again.”
Bryn laughed. “Yeah, I’ve heard that one before, but it doesn’t matter. We’ve got bigger problems. Do you have any idea what people are saying about you on the boards? About us?”
I looked down at my hands. “I heard about the video.”
“Yeah, and guess who sent me an e-mail about it this morning? Ajay.”
My eyes fluttered shut. Ajay Yamada was the drummer for Luna’s Temptation. I didn’t want to hear this.
“He said they’ve been finalizing dates for a summer tour—starting in August. And they want to bring an opening band. We’re one of the bands they’re considering.”
“Oh my God.” Felix’s hands hovered over his mouth. “That’s huge! Right when our new album comes out too.”
“Yeah, except we need a guitarist to finish it. We can’t exactly use Teddy’s shit. And Hazel can only master so fast,” Bryn said. “Not to mention, between losing Teddy and Jasmine’s smashing performance up on YouTube, Luna’s Temptation is a little concerned. Can’t say I blame them.”
“So we rock our show with them, and Jasmine records her guitar parts,” Veta said. “Problem solved.”
Bryn motioned to me. “I don’t see her vastly improving in two weeks. She needs at least a few gigs under her belt.”
His words hit me right in the stomach, but I had to stay here. I had to fight for this.
“We’ll do another show at the Roach,” Sean said.
“No dice,” Bryn said. “Newton’s Whore cockblocked us and snagged the only available slot for the next month. And Dave is working Zia on the LT message board. She’s already agreed to go to their show on Saturday.”
“Ugh.” Veta clenched her teeth. “I hate that guy.”
“Veta has a big crush on Zia,” Sean said to me.
“So? The woman is perfection,” Veta replied.
Zia Martin was the lead singer of Luna’s Temptation. She defined the word “enigmatic” with her bizarre answers to interview questions and her unpredictable performances. I saw one show that resembled a scene out of Moulin Rouge! and another that was as dank and sterile as an insane asylum.
“Do you think Dave knows about the tour?” I asked.
“Luna’s Temptation announced plans last week,” Bryn said. “And I’m guessing Dave knows they’re looking for an opener. Nothing stays under wraps for long.”
Veta shrugged. “So what? Newton’s Whore formed a week ago. They aren’t ready for a tour. They haven’t even finished an album!”
“You know Amy,” Sean said. “Chance like that? She’ll make sure they’re ready.”
Just hearing her name, especially from Sean’s mouth, gave me that feeling of ick. “Then we’ll make sure we’re even more ready.” I caught Bryn’s eye. “Or you guys will.”
“We don’t have the time to dick around, looking for other guitarists,” Sean said. “What if the next one doesn’t work out? Jasmine knows the songs.”
I mouthed “thank you” to Sean. But Bryn didn’t look convinced.
“I can’t take back what happened,” I said, “no matter how much I wish I could. Believe me, I’ve never been more disappointed in myself—or humiliated. And I can’t promise you miracles. But I’m still here. That should count for something.”
“Just being here isn’t going to get us on tour with LT,” Bryn said.
“Neither is sitting around and squawking like a bunch of old hens.” Veta stood, brushing off her black jean skirt. “The way I see it, we’re out of options. She’s staying.”
“Seriously,” Felix finally spoke up. “This is giving me a headache.”
“She’s got my vote,” Sean said.
Bryn ran his fingers through his dreads, his eyes weary. “If she costs us the tour, I’m
going to—”
“Come on,” Veta broke in. “Anything could cost us the tour.”
He looked around at everyone else. “She screws up again, she’s gone. You got that? It’s still my house.”
“Fair enough,” Veta said, while Sean and Felix nodded.
“Great.” Bryn’s eyes fell back on me. “Then I guess you better get to work.”
I hopped to my feet, nodding. But there was still a nagging doubt in my gut. The part that said I didn’t belong on a stage. The part that couldn’t even imagine letting go.
Chapter 16
I grabbed my acoustic guitar and headed for my balcony after another grueling yoga session with Veta. She swore it would help me with my stage fright, but all I felt was sore.
No meditation could beat the pinch of strings against my fingertips. Or the sight of the ocean merging with a crisp blue sky. Too bad this couldn’t be my stage.
I plucked out the chord progression of one of the few songs I’d written and actually remembered. It was in a minor key, a little somber, but cozy at the same time. As the song built, I hummed along, muttering lyrics here and there—whatever thought happened to be racing through my mind. It didn’t really matter since I couldn’t sing on key.
A knock echoed through my room. Maybe Bryn wanted me to stop singing. Served him right, though, considering the noise he subjected me to in the middle of the night.
“Door is open,” I called.
Sean appeared on my balcony a few seconds later, hands in his pockets. “Hey.”
“Oh, hi.” Why did this have to feel so weird?
He shifted his weight. “We need to talk about your car.”
“You can sit.” I motioned to the plastic chair next to mine and laid my guitar back in its case.
He plopped down, drumming his hands on his legs. “I miss sitting out here.”
“Why did you give it up?”
“Memories, I guess.”
“Oh, right.” Memories that involved Amy, obviously. Nothing I wanted to hear about.
“And it’s nice not having Bryn on the other side of the wall,” he added.
I rolled my eyes. “Tell me about it.”
We both let out a half-assed laugh and then went silent.
“So,” I began. “My car.”
“Pete asked me what was up. We’re getting smashed right now, with tourists and whatnot. Not a lot of space.”
