by Nicety
Cocoa eyed the officer for a few seconds more before shutting the door tight and returning to her room. The officer stood there in astonishment at the fact that a little girl had him by the balls. He never returned to her house again and her file conveniently became lost. So Cocoa finally got her wish of dropping completely out of school in the 8th grade.
With the freedom she had she put her energy towards her new profession, stealing. When old women were busy on the bus stops with their heads down in their purses, Cocoa would snatch them and then run. She would dump the purses in trashcans and take all of the cash right down to the last penny and do the same to men and their wallets. She was smart not to hit the same areas so it would be harder on the police to track her down. But when she would attempt to steal from her mother to get food for the house her pockets were always already empty.
She didn’t just steal purses and wallets either. She stole whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. Clothes, shoes, sunglasses, jewelry, and anything else her heart desired, living by the law of taking what she wanted and get what she needed by any means. She was never violent when she stole unless she had to be with the store clerks but she only did what she had to in order to get away.
Cocoa strolled down the street everyday in her fashionable stolen goods. She didn’t care who saw her or what they had to say because now she was banging. Her hair was laid all the time, her nails were well manicured getting a different color every week. She rocked the newest Jordans and the hottest gear but she still felt like something was missing. There was no longer an empty feeling in her stomach but she couldn’t put her finger on what it was.
“Hey bitch. I bet you won’t bring yo’ ass off that porch.” A girl yelled walking up as she made her way towards her door.
The other girls chanted, “Com’ on bitch! Bitch!”
Cocoa had been getting into it with these girls since third grade and she was damn tired of it. She did not want to fight the girls, though. She walked to the top of the stairs and sat down placing her head in her hands and her elbows on her knees watching as the girls lost their mind waiting for her to come and give them what they wanted, a good fight.
"See y'all, I told you a little bitch lived here. Man and she stinks too." Cocoa sniffed around for a minute then realized this bitch was just starting shit.
"Can I help you?" Cocoa asked with a pleasant voice.
"Yeah you can help me to not have to look at your ugly ass face again." The leader of the group, Trish responded.
Everybody standing around began laughing. Cocoa couldn't let this bitch upstage her any longer. She walked off the porch slowly never taking her eyes off of Trish. She walked directly up to her staring her straight in the eye. Trish laughed waving her off unafraid of her cocky ways.
"Ha ha. This bitch ain’t on shit. Com’ on y’all lets fucking go." Trish said spitting on the ground in front her missing Cocoa’s new pair of Jumpman’s by a hair.
As soon as Trish turned around Cocoa's face turned blood shot red with anger as looked down at the spit then back up at her. She tapped her on the shoulder and as she turned back around she stuck Trish dead in the jaw. The two girls scrapped around on the ground for a few minutes punching each other in the faces. Trish wiggled herself free and began biting Cocoa on the arm like she was a pit-bull attacking.
The adrenaline rushed through Cocoa’s head like a banshee that she did not feel any pain. She reached her fist around and blazed Trish in the eye this time, so hard that she stumbled backwards. Dazed and confused she looked around at her girls who were standing around whispering and pointing refusing to get involved even after all the shit they talked.
“You wanna play bitch? Then let’s play.”
“No….No….” Trish said trying to catch her breath.
Cocoa went at her with an upper cut. Unable to see, Trish finally backed down from the fight. Her friends helped her down the street to her house as Cocoa went and sat back on the porch. Blood was still evident on her clothes and shoes but she sat there without a care.
The spectators began to dissipate all having one hell of a story to tell. She had beaten up the girl that some adored and everybody envied. A new era was about to begin.
A few days had past without any sign of Nadine. Some drug dealers came banging on her door looking for her mom because she owed them money. Cocoa did not know what would ever happen to her if they found her in there alone. They banged on the door all night and then staked out the joint the next morning searching for any sign of her. Cocoa remained in the house as silent as a mouse hiding under her blanket, listening, before she exited the room or house for that matter until they left. She peeked out of the living room window to make sure the coast was clear and saw her mom walk up to the porch and stumble up the stairs. Nadine walked up two stairs then flopped over and lay there too lazy to pick herself up.
Two very well tapered men dressed in jogging suits walked up and began yelling at her. Nadine rolled her head back and forth on the stair, mumbling gibberish. One of the men grabbed her by the neck pulling her to her feet. Her mother was struggling to get free but the second man slapped the shit out of her.
“Be Still! Now bitch you better have that money by the first or that’s your ass. You got it? You got it, bitch?”
“Yeah. Yeah I got you!” Nadine mumbled.
“I ain’t playing. You really fucking up with this credit shit.”
“I know…I know…”
Cocoa watched her mother being strangled by coke dealers. They dropped her right in the spot they found her and walked away as she crawled wildly up the stairs and to the door. She struggled to take out her keys as the men shouted back at her.
“Ain’t nothin’ but a little coke fiend ass bitch anyway.”
“Oh my God, mom, come on. Hurry!” Cocoa opened the door trying to help pull Nadine in the house.
“You knew they was out there fucking me up and you did nothing to even help me you little bitch!” Nadine bumbled as she slapped Cocoa’s face with all of her strength.
“Momma! Momma! Why you can’t just talk to me?! Why don't you love me, momma?”
“Cause you’re a bum…fucking bum.” Nadine dragged her feet to her bedroom ready to fall out in her bed.
“But I need you momma…momma.” Cocoa fell to her knees as Nadine’s door slammed.
She cried her eyes out to her mother only for it to fall on deaf ears. She did not want to go out that day. She sat in her room and listened to music on the radio all day. Nadine never came to check on her none or to even apologize. Cocoa's longing for her mother's acceptance and love started to tear her spirit down. But she couldn't let go. As a kid, her mother was all she had and she was going to love her hard regardless.
****
It was a Monday when her mother left to find drugs at the same time she did everyday. Cocoa was used to it from dealing with her absence for so long. Nadine never stayed gone more than three days at a time, but this time she had been gone for a whole week. During the day she would go looking for her mother, trotting up and down the streets and in and out the many dangerous crack houses asking for her mother, but found nothing. Cocoa knew that her mother’s problem would consume her totally one day but she had hoped it would be when she was an adult able to be by herself. She hoped her mother hadn’t finally offed herself and left her without a pot to piss in but as the days went by he hope wore thin. Soon she would have to realize that she was truly on her own.
Chapter 4- Thanks?
Two years had gone by and Cocoa had ultimately accepted her mother’s disappearance as death. Lonely and desperate for money, Cocoa allowed herself to open up to one of the cute boys from around the way as he winked at her every time he saw her. His name was Antwan but everyone called him Twan for short. Cocoa knew Twan from school but he looked to have grown up since she last saw him. He was tall dark and looked like he was going to play pro football everyday. He flashed money every chance he got just beca
use he loved upstaging people and Cocoa wanted a piece of that. He stayed with his mom and sister 2 blocks over and he liked the way her legs looked in her shorts as he walked by.
"Hey sexy. You looking real good sitting here." He told her walking up on the porch. She just looked away and laughed. Cocoa liked the attention she got from boys but she knew it was solely because of her developing tits and ass.
"Hey Twan. What you doing over here?"
"I came to see you. Can't I come to see you?"
Cocoa knew that nigga was lying but rolled with the flow.
"Yeah, I guess so. So what's up? Are you still with Star? I heard you broke her virginity."
"What? Man hell naw. I ain’t never touched that little rat."
“Hmm.”
“Man ain’t nobody checkin’ for the girl. I’m trying to see what’s good wit you, ma. Fucks wit a nigga ya know.” Twan licked his lips at her feverishly.
Cocoa had heard rumors that Twan loved breaking girl's virginities then bouncing on them. He figured that since he was only 17 and still a kid his self then he couldn't go to jail for it if they wanted it. But most of the girls he fucked were merely 11 and 12 years old. These girls were all hot in the ass for him cause he was chocolate and cute in the face with rock hard abs and a mouthpiece that hypnotized. Cocoa was now 15 years old and her ass and titties were sprouting out all over her body and showed no signs of stopping. She wondered what this nigga wanted with her cause she was much older than what he was used to dealing with. He rocked the hottest gear and drove a fly ass truck because his parents bought him whatever he wanted. So he could have any chick he wanted but he was staring her in her face.
"So you gonna be my girl or what? Or are you scared?"
Cocoa hated being called scary even when she really was. She had never had a boyfriend before and appreciated the fact of having one with money that could help her pay the bills and mortgage. Cocoa agreed to date Twan and decided that she would keep it strictly a business venture to avoid getting her heart broken. But she did not tell him that.
"Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be your freaking girl.” She laughed as he rubbed on her thick thighs.
“You gonna love me, watch. I bet you I can make you love me." Twan told her while he looked at her like he was getting ready to eat a pork chop.
“Yeah, ok nigga.”
All the while, Cocoa was thinking that Twan had no idea what he was getting hisself into. Sin had never left the picture though. He would look out the window simply gazing at what he wanted to be his. He knew she was doing all the wrong things in life and her pride was too big to ask for the help that he knew his parents would give her. So until she came to her senses, he would just spy on her from time to time.
The time seemed to fly by with her dating Twan. She was no longer lonely. The thought of being loved by someone felt so good and pure. It had only been a month and already she was reaping the rewards of being his girl. He knew that her mom had vamped on her so he was willing to care of her in any way she needed. He brought groceries, paid the bills, and even had his mom help out with paying the mortgage. Twan was like a fantasy come true for her. Because Twan was still in school, he would drop by to see Cocoa afterwards and stay with her until his curfew. He usually had lots of homework that Cocoa watched him do and when they finished he told her stories about him being on the football team.
"I'm the star quarter-back baby. Everybody loves me."
“I know that’s right baby. Now get your fine quarter back ass over here and cuddle with me nigga.”
Cocoa would giggle at all of his stories, often times in an attempt not to feel sorry for herself about dropping out. She didn’t really care to hear them so to keep from sounding like a hater she just laughed it off.
“Come here baby. Don’t pull away from me, now.”
“Babe, I…I just can’t do it. Its not you.”
“Then what is it, huh?” Twan had a desperate look on his face. “You fucking somebody else?”
“I just want it to be the right time, boy. That’s all dang.” She said as she rose from the couch and stood folding her arms in disgust.
"Com' on over here girl and sit down. I was just playing. Let's chill." He told her.
Cocoa went and sat down next to him but not too close. She didn’t want to lead him on, giving him the wrong idea that something was going to happen between them. He scooted close to her then wrapped his arm around her and snuggled in.
“Let me get some kisses, baby.”
Even though she tried to resist, she thought it was cute and giggled as she leaned in for a small kiss. She was beginning to feel comfortable around him but did not want to lead him on for sake of him thinking it was ok to have sex. She gave him just a little more but took it right back. He leaned in again and as they made out on the couch, Twan moved his hand from his leg to her right boob. Cocoa did not think anything of it since he was right on the outside of her shirt squeezing and rubbing like he had no clue what he was doing.
He began kissing her harder then became hysterically hyper with his panting and rubbing. Cocoa became worried that this nigga was going crazy, losing his mind. She started to push him away.
"Stop, Twan." She said lightly as not to alarm him since he was already too frantic. “Twan, slow down…”
Twan just kept kissing and groping her like a horny child. She tried pushing him away but he pushed back even harder. They tussled around on the couch for bit before she reached her hand up to his cheek, slapping the taste out of his mouth.
"Stop! Twan don't do this!" Cocoa begged anxiously attempting to get him off of her.
He just kept going and going. She feared this nigga had lost his mind. Cocoa was able to reach her hand up and started slapping him in the head. Twan grabbed her arms and pinned them down on her sides while kissing her neck and moving down to her tits. She was tired of struggling with Twan, trying to get him off of her so she finally freed one of her legs and kicked him right in his balls. Twan backed off and rolled to the other end of the couch holding his shit.
"Why the fuck did you do that, man? Damn!" Twan yelled in agony.
“I'm sorry. I...it's just you wouldn't stop and I got scared. I did not know what else to do!" Cocoa exclaimed standing over him.
"You dumb bitch! If you wasn't such a fucking tease this shit would've never happened."
"So it's my fault?"
"Hell yeah, it’s your fucking fault. You're such a hoe and you owe me some fucking pussy. You've been getting all this shit from my people. Bitch you think that shit is free?"
"No! I'm not about to pay you like that. Those were gifts you need to get over it." Cocoa couldn't believe this nigga was expecting her to pay him back in pussy.
"Awe naw, you need to give that shit up. Did you honestly think I did this shit 'cause I liked you? You're dumber than I thought."
Cocoa's feelings were extremely hurt. Not because he wanted to rape her and almost did but because he never really cared about her he was just using her. A feeling she knew all to well. Even though she was using him, it just did not feel good to get that feeling back especially when she thought he worshiped her.
"Man I'm outta here you fucking tease. Now you can rot in this hell hole by yourself and don't even bother calling me." Twan pulled his self together then left out the door slamming it behind him.
“Well get the fuck out then, fucking asshole!”
The slam startled Cocoa making her jump as her heart pounded heavily. She sat back on the couch to assess exactly what had happened. She worried if she may have done something to bring on this anger from him. There was no way that she was going to let her guard down and apologize to this nigga when she did not know if she had actually lead him on.
Cocoa knew that losing Twan meant losing her perks. He was cute and took care of her but she couldn't allow her body to be violated yet again. She never saw Twan again. It was said around the hood that his mom got some big time job in Mi
nnesota and they moved there. So Cocoa accepted the fact that she was alone, yet again. ****
Chapter 5- Birth
Out of cash and resources Cocoa took to the streets. Generally most parts of the Englewood area did not really have a broad variety of positive influences around. So Cocoa found mentors and teachers in whom ever she could. The drug dealers taught her how to slang rocks and stack money while the gang bangers taught her how to bust pieces and not to take shit from anybody. The pimps taught her, well pimping and the hoes taught her hoeing and of course not to take shit from no trick. Over the years as they perfected their crafts she grew and perfected hers as well.
Cocoa did not want to hoe her body off because she did not know what the hell was out there waiting for her. Instead she would dress up like the hoes and take a knife with her. Whenever the tricks would drive to the dark location she would always hop in the back seat first and grab them by the throat and rob them. She made sure to only take old ass tricks so they would be scared to come back around there. The other girls would get pissed off because their business was depleting from word of mouth of being stuck up in that area. Cocoa did not give a fuck she was getting money.
She did this for about two weeks until she had enough money to cop a half an ounce of cocaine. The drug dealers only sold weed on their little spot. They had informed her that there was a little drought on cocaine in the area because nobody wanted to pay the high prices that the nigga Drew was charging them plus he wanted half of the profit. But Cocoa was smart about her shit. She realized that since nobody was selling cocaine on the land that she would be a hot commodity amongst the crack heads around.
“How much does he want for the half an ounce?” She asked.
“Man that nigga is highway robbery yo. He talking about 4 bills for the shit.” One of the drug dealers informed her.
“$400? That’s nothing. I got this.”
“Well be careful, your lil’ strong headed ass. That nigga is grimy straight up.”
